🃏 Bossman Austin Curtis Peterson / BossmanJack / AustinGambles / Austin_07 / irondollah - Gambling addict, convicted felon, scammer, and raging manchild that hates his fucking life, FAKE MONEY

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When will Bossman get back on the (crack)rocks

  • Less than a month

    Votes: 494 51.9%

  • 1-3 months

    Votes: 136 14.3%

  • 3-6 months

    Votes: 31 3.3%

  • 6-12 months

    Votes: 5 0.5%

  • Type 5 if you don't care about any of that lame drugs shit I'm gonna be clean forever bros

    Votes: 285 30.0%
  • Total voters
    951
  • Poll closed .
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Dizzyuntildeath said:
Have you ever heard of the legend of the Crackhead that Saved Christmas? They say that every Christmas eve he smokes the biggest crack rock he can find and spends the night fucking every mom.
They say Bossman fucking your mom means good luck in originals for the next year, and so children would leave out a plate of crack rocks, mountain dew and deli cheese in the hopes that Boss sees it from the window and breaks in, takes it and fucks their mom.
I remember one Christmas, we came downstairs and Boss was fucking our mom and dad squeezed our hands and whispered to us, "Look children, a Christmas miracle" and teared up.
As he was climbing back through the broken window, he looked at me, called me a fagbag and winked, and then he was gone.
This is a treasured memory that I tell my own children every Christmas eve.
Click to expand...
'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store.
'Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!'

And what happened then...? Well...in Virginia they say,
That the Bossman's small crackrock grew three sizes that day!

And all the RIGGERS and rats then paid the ultimate price.

Bossman fucked all their moms not once but twice!

And they say when your slot squirts, or you run up 200k on dice,

if you listen real closely, you can hear him say DAMN THAT PUSSY NICE!

Dr. Juice
 
I wonder if Mr. Christmas will rethink his association with Austin. If I was a drug dealer, no matter how good the customer, I would have some serious doubts about keeping a retard who frequently broadcasts himself making transactions with me, the latest of which includes full audio from his side. Drug dealers are supposed to be street smart, this seems very risky. What's stopping the cops from inspecting Austin's phone, matching the timelines and figuring out exactly who he was calling at the time of the stream?
 
Unknown God said:
I wonder if Mr. Christmas will rethink his association with Austin. If I was a drug dealer, no matter how good the customer, I would have some serious doubts about keeping a retard who frequently broadcasts himself making transactions with me, the latest of which includes full audio from his side. Drug dealers are supposed to be street smart, this seems very risky. What's stopping the cops from inspecting Austin's phone, matching the timelines and figuring out exactly who he was calling at the time of the stream?
Click to expand...
It’s surprising that with how fast he burns through sponsors he hasn’t had very many dealers. Good evidence that if you are a scary dude he’ll respect you. Its only online and with his family that he acts tough, when there’s no consequences.
 
Twas the night before Christmas
Got a ring on his phone
From a man he'd not seen
Must have been a few months ago

He answers the call, checking it twice
"Austin?" He says, awaiting a reply
"WASSUP MY NIGGA, IM FREE! IM ALIVE"

Mr Christmas smiled with glee
His best customer was back
Right out of jail, straight on the crack!

The farms rejoiced
The parents up all night
For this Christmas, Austin's out of jail
And the contents just right
 
I just got word from the State Attorney, Bossman is released on the condition he works with the FBI to takedown Edward "Rigger" Craven. He isn't allowed to smoke weed and is restricted to one big buford a day, do you think he's gonna take the deal?
 

Here's another uplifting, BMJ approved Slightly Stoopid song. Honestly, I don't know why this isn't in heavier rotation. We have 8 days until Christmas and on the 7th day he will rise from his cell a free man, for he purchased the prison with his gambling winnings and freed himself.
"And Smugmanjack said unto the warden, ye shall release me to the custody of your mother, and so it was done."
- Boss 7:22
 
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