💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[a terminal posture]

Fun video, humble, honest. B.

This is S-tier Jack content, reminded me why I watch his stuff to begin with and if you can't see that then what the fuck are you even doing here? It's an absolutely classic: Jack fucks up a simple recipe displaying a total lack of common sense let alone cooking knowledge and then blames everything except himself, including chestnuts themselves, in a 'bonus' video even. They taste 'aweful', 'like raw potatoes', which is why a popular holiday song was written about them. Everyone was just fooling themselves all along and you exposed them, Jack!

 

[Gentlebastard]

Unless you have your own pea crops and are serving them within a few hours of picking, there’s no point in using fresh. This isn’t a me thing; chefs like Eric Ripert talk about this.

Frozen peas are fine; canned peas are the pus from Satan's ingrown toenails and no, I'm not willing to change my mind on this subject.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Still images like this are why I can't fault my friend's boyfriend, whom I first exposed to Jack about this time last year, for initially asking why I was making fun of someone who was earnestly trying -- just limited, unfortunately, by the happenstance of being mentally handicapped.

BONU VIDEO

 

[the khat quaffer]

Still images like this are why I can't fault my friend's boyfriend, whom I first exposed to Jack about this time last year, for initially asking why I was making fun of someone who was earnestly trying -- just limited, unfortunately, by the happenstance of being mentally handicapped.

BONU VIDEO

I would counsel against talking about lolcows to your real life acquaintances. Nothing good will come of it.

 

[Shartavius]

I would counsel against talking about lolcows to your real life acquaintances. Nothing good will come of it.

There's the additional challenge of selling them on obviously disabled cows, such as our Nicest Guy on the Internet. Then again, our patronymic poster is one of very few in this thread with the restraint to shit on Jack without making it all about pretending they know how to cook.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Fun video, humble, honest. He laid out every step, admitted he fucked up. B.

How difficult is it to cook chestnuts? Roast them in the oven for 15-30 minutes depending on the size.

They come out soft and sweet. Dunno where he got "raw potato" from unless Hammy just fucked them up.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Why does Jack have an AI-generated photo of three cows on his wall?

 

[Tiresome]

Why does Jack have an AI-generated photo of three cows on his wall?

View attachment 8247009

Because he's so blind and so retarded, Tammy got it for him and told him it was a portrait of Mama Scalfani.

 

[souschef]

So he doesn't walk, has to be driven everywhere, likely needs help in the bathroom, now he wants to just not even have to go out and experience the world unless it's with a a VR headset? Good god. There are people in the coma wards that are more active. Pulling the plug on the Holy Roller is practically a mercy.

"imagine never leaving your house to go take a tour of Israel" what imbecile would consider it better to see a virtual tour of a faraway land while stuck at home? None of the food, none of the locals, none of the smells, except for you farting into the couch. Tammy should troll him and tell him she's downloading Israel but send him to a gay pride parade.

---

https://youtube.com/watch?v=rXlwI3Plwc0
Jack uploaded a Cooking with Tammy video, a la Deez Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.

View attachment 8244959

Dead silence from Tammy as he thanks her for putting up every Xmas decoration and cuts Jack's nuts for him and does 99% of the work. Most of the video she's giving him the cold shoulder.

3:32 Pigsnort. That's pure spite at this point.

7:24, 7:42 "They smell like nuts....I tried to help [Tammy] but was no use."

9:10-10:50 Allegedly read three different recipes to prepare for this one, like all things he cooks. Says they came out tasting like raw potatoes.

View attachment 8244964

Fun video, humble, honest. He laid out every step, admitted he fucked up. B.

Fucker makes me wanna try.

Aweful indeed

They look like phimosis

 

[the khat quaffer]

Why does Jack have an AI-generated photo of three cows on his wall?

View attachment 8247009

Nice Guy Rob already asked.

Cows.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jack is such an asshole. I bet (hope) his restaurant orders get gobbed in a lot.

 

[Pizza Munch]

I watched my stupid YouTube year in review recap thing just now and one of my top themes of the year was cooking and I’m most likely to “make the best snacks”. I was wondering why because I’m not one to binge watch Cooking With Babish or get recipes from YouTube. It turns out it’s just from tryna keep up with this thread and binge watching Jack (and having a failed sourdough bread phase)

 

[the khat quaffer]

Why does Jack have an AI-generated photo of three cows on his wall?

View attachment 8247009

Because he's a faggot that saw this at a HomeGoods.

Real talk, girl fella of mine got a pic of my best friend's dog, photoshopped (obviously) just his head onto one of Michael Jackson's outfits. Looked professional as hell even if it was obviously fake. Youse might try doing this for that special someone. it's not hard. take their pet and splice it onto a famous person. cheap and easy. it literally means the world to them. merry christmas.

thread tax: jack sux

 

[Dead Air]

Does Jack still like Rob? Or has he finally gotten wise to his game?

 

[Tiresome]

Does Jack still like Rob? Or has he finally gotten wise to his game?

Jack quickly flashes into outright rage at literally anyone, no matter how warm he's ever felt toward them. He has never developed a mature emotional balance and it's only gotten worse with his declining health.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Does Jack still like Rob? Or has he finally gotten wise to his game?

He banned Rob once already for expressing mild skepticism of whatever his 70 IQ conspiracy theory political take was at the moment, but reversed it shortly afterwards. Jack may be sensitive to criticism, but he's also desperate for validation and incredibly stupid, which makes him easy to troll if you aren't blatantly obvious about it.

 

[Shartavius]

Jack is such an asshole. I bet (hope) his restaurant orders get gobbed in a lot.

I bet his barbers used to spit in his hair.

take their pet and splice it onto a famous person. cheap and easy. it literally means the world to them. merry christmas.

I can vouch that this works.

 

[AnOminous]

Why does Jack have an AI-generated photo of three cows on his wall?

View attachment 8247009

If you just showed me this picture without mentioning the cows, I wouldn't have even noticed them, because I would have been just flabbergasted at how much he looks completely fat, retarded and brain-dead. Literal Terry Schiavo levels of brain damage. Jaw agape, pretty much drooling, eyes pointing in opposite directions, Christ what a fucking mong.

Who would post a picture of themselves looking like this?

 

[the khat quaffer]

Does Jack still like Rob? Or has he finally gotten wise to his game?

With subsequent replies in tow,

it is difficult to say. I think Jack doesn't mind Rob. Rob occasionally comments on Jack's videos and trolls the fuck out of him in ways that Jack's beluga brain can't comprehend.

Hi Rob!

Jack is too stupid. He didn't get wise to those ethopian niggers scamming him. He didn't get wise to four (i lost count) strokes telling him to unfuck himself, he didn't get wise to...well, anything.

The only thing he's gotten wise to is

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Who would post a picture of themselves looking like this?

You know who.

a fucking mong