I come in peace, but on neutral grounds
0. I wish there were more of this these days. Welcome. I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to you.
1. How did you end up talking to Hardin/Null?
I asked him to intervene because I was afraid of Alex Graveley's threats and he told me he doesn't care if Alex threatens women he dates and it's something he's been doing for years.
I reached out to Charity about it and she threatened to make me "unemployable" if I didn't shut up about the abuse.
2. How does a conversation like this go, exactly? Did they just go mask off and say it like that, or was there some attempt at narrative spinning? For context, I am completely convinced that LFJ genuinely believes he is a victim and not an abuser. He believes this narrative inside and out. He believes he did nothing wrong in the consent accident, in attempting to destroy the internet, in hiring lawyers to dox, etc etc. Were they apologetic? Condescending? Smug, like dating him means you forfeit your human card and deserve it?
3. Is there a narrative where Tall Poppy's work protecting Microsoft employees accused of sexual harassment is bravely defending marginalized folx from the evil chuds or some shit like that? LFJ's narrative is that attempts to hold him accountable are actually transphobia/etc, for example.
The tech is less dangerous. I mean like Todd Huffman's on the internet mind-control DARPA game, but he also thinks it's possible to create IRL versions of the Idiocracy tricked-out army coffin and the Amazon series Upload. Believing that most of this stuff is anything more than the government wasting money on overpriced contracts on vaporware or theaterware.
The dangerous part is the connections these people have to weaponize the authorities and the courts, which Kiwi Farms knows all too well.
4. Would you feel less comfortable using Tor, Signal,etc, knowing what you know? In terms of like dragnet surveillance I mean, not as a high value target. For those of us who are nobodies but don't want to get swept up into Carnivore/Echelon/etc.
5. If it's not too personal: What happened to your savings from your tech career? Were they all eaten up by being blacklisted and the lawsuit? If you can say: how the hell did that lawsuit survive TCPA dismissal?
6. Any hot takes on AI? I think it's currently very overhyped, but it might still have some use for creating personalized echo chambers to scale the process of spooks grooming people online to the entire population.
7. Approximately how old are you? I want to contextualize your life experiences, and also look up schizophrenia onset ages for women.
8. Honest opinion time:. You clearly know what you are talking about, even without the receipts, which you did provide. You really were a part of that world, and you really do/did have powerful enemies, I am convinced. But I also think you should consider whether you may be mentally ill. I probably would be too after all that. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't actually out to get you. People in that world go crazy too. Remember Dragos Ruiu (badBIOS)? Ian Murdock? (or do you have tea to spill on them too? I'm all ears...).
The way you illustrate the connections between all these people -- if you mean it as an illustration that they are all rubbing shoulders, from the same social class/small tech world, then I completely agree -- a leaderless conspiracy formed out of aligned interests, even though they may not coordinate directly as a single body. And of course power protects power: it's a big club, and you ain't in it, to quote George Carlin. But it's also the thing schizos do, with like the bulletin board and the string etc. Some of your posts give me the first feeling, some give me the second. It is certainly plausible to me that they are all coordinating and scheming; we saw a lot of that during DKF.
You are able to give specific, clear explanations of the events that happened to start all this, and receipts, but become much more vague about these people continuing to harass you years later. It is possible that the legal constraints you allude to limit your hand there, but you've mentioned numerous receipts (e.g., video of people being told to beat you up) that you have not provided, nor a reason for not providing it. That's schizo coded -- you didn't need to mention it to prove the point. It just doesn't make sense that they would continue to go after you at this point. Either they still think you can hurt them somehow, or it's driven by sociopathic desire to hurt others. Sure both are possible, but consider the other explanation.
You may have a case against Haygood, but that doesn't mean that it is a good idea to pursue it. Even if you are in the right (and if what you say is accurate, that is a hell of a conflict of interest) it is expensive, takes years, and can be lost on a technicality, or if the money runs out. If $17k is a lot to you, you can't afford a lawsuit. To say nothing of how your experiences should show you who the law serves, and how. Why is the case against you still open, for example? I don't know crap about law though, so if you really did talk to an attorney Hardin recommended, I have to give you the benefit of the doubt on that. But I encourage you to take inspiration from Dear Leader and be strategic about it. Don't confuse the legal system with justice; it is a weapon for the strong to punish the weak. You may be allowed at the table, but you will play by their rules, and the board is tilted against you.
I'm gonna get shit on for this because The Kiwi Farms likes to pretend that because LFJ uses Nano she's tech illiterate or superficial shit like that, but: it's clear to me that you are smart. I don't want to power level too much but I've seen a lot of smart people go crazy. When smart people go crazy, the crazy is a lot more plausible, and a lot better for tricking yourself and others. The smart makes the delusions make more sense, which is incredibly insidious. It is clearly not all in your head, but some of it may be. A lot of what you're saying makes sense, but a lot of it also has contradictions, selectively missed points, etc. I understand in your position you may not feel comfortable engaging with a therapist, I probably wouldn't either, but I encourage you to consider whether you may have a distorted sense of reality due to some of the awful experiences you have had. If you have any close friends/family you can really trust after all this, tell them your story and ask for them to be honest with you. I have no idea if it's possible to think your way out of delusions, but it's worth a shot. Driving you crazy would probably be the best way to neutralize you, far better than beating you up, killing you, etc. Don't let them win.
Anyway I'm just some weirdo on the internet telling you to question your reality don't mind me. I'm trying to countergaslight but that risks gaslighting if I read you wrong. It's plausible to me that Dr. Fabian is right and you are completely sane, but my best guess is a seamless blending of reality into delusions over time. Regardless, I found this very interesting to read, thanks for doing this. +1 to Mad at the Internet interview if you're up for it. If Sam Hyde offers you some pills before the interview, I advise against taking them, that's my headcanon for how the Channing Craeger interview went.
