She’s live in a tarp again. To the shock of no one. When is payday again? Looking rough, CPAP marks still on her face, clearly she just rolled out of bed and couldn’t be bothered today.
LMAO wearing a hijab while drinking out of a Christmas mug.
More firetruck sirens in the background.. She still hasn’t said anything. Finally starts greeting the chat.
“Yep, for now anyway, I dunno. I just wanted to cover completely to come live I’m like….” Ma’am, you just had a man (barely) stay the night 2 nights ago. Why are we pretending this is a thing. She’s now daintily sipping some espresso out of her new mugs from Parc Omega.
“And no, Salah did not ask me to wear a hijab… I’m wearing it because I want to… heh heh. I, I don’t know why people have a problem with it.. Like, it’s my, if I want to wear it or not. Like what does it matter. I find when I wear it some people are like ‘awww…’”
“How is a man controlling me, salty dog? He didn’t ask me at all… I haven’t even talked to him today. Or yesterday!”
“So I made a grill- I’m like, what am I gonna make, am I gonna go out to eat, am I gonna order, am I gonna make…? And I have food in the house so, I should finish it, actually. So I made a grilled cheese.”
“You seem happier? You haven’t seen me, this morning. No, actually, I didn’t wake up panicking, but the cat… she’s a beezer… I’ll just say that.”
“Uhh, because I want to wear it, Oopsie. No. it’s not an attempt to get salah back . . . it’s not only a religious garment, but I am a Muslim, yes I am.” Getting a bit snippy and defensive now lol
“I took the Shahada, I pray to Allah… No I’m not perfect, but, I still identify as Muslim. Yeah, there’s moments where I was like unsure.. Or like, confused about stuff. But while I’m working on myself, I’m gonna try fo find like, ya know… uhm, yeah. Let me ask you a question- (uh oh, she gettin mad now) if I was like, interested in, in going into Christianity and stuff, would people be the same thing? Be the same way? No. No. because I’m not Jewish, so I wouldn’t wear Jewish hats (in response to a chat I think)”
“I’ve been chatting with like, a sister, via email, and uhh, I’m probably going to get some like, spiritual guiding, uhh, counseling, guidance counseling, as along with my uhh, you know…”
“See ya, See ya, See ya.” She’s getting pissy and blocking people from her chat now.
“How do YOU know that’s the only thing I do as a Muslim is say bismillah? (she didn’t even say that before her first bite of grilled cheese lol) You don’t live with me! Why do you give a shit, like who comes into someone’s chat and tells them how, like, what they believe, what they feel? Like, people go through confusing times in their religion. It’s personal. It’s up to me. If I want to wear the hijab one day, like, it’s not up to you. It’s not your business and I’ll just block you!”
“WHAT’S CONCERNING? ‘Why does it seem like everything is such a secret to you?’ Cause I’m allowed privacy in my fucking life. Like, I’m allowed privacy in my life. Do you not get that? You’re not, you don’t, you have questions, but I don’t have to answer your questions. It’s my life. I don’t care if you don’t believe in Islam, or you think it’s fake or whatever, I don’t give a shit. I’m not wearing it for anybody, I’m wearing it for myself.” (my favorite foodie is swearing hijabi foodie.)
“I don’t care if amberlynn got demonetized. If my Foodie Beauty channel gets demonetized I’ll use the couples channel.”
“It’s just clothes, it IS just clothes. I watch some people who wear a hijab or a headscarf. You can wear a head- what’s the difference between wearing a scarf, and like, you can wear a scarf if you want. You don’t have to… like there’s Muslims who don’t wear a hijab. I wore hijab for three years. You think it’s so easy for me to just take it off? I don’t feel right.”
“‘Hopefully you get demonetized too.’ Then who are you gonna come and hate on with your no life? Someone else I guess.”
“I still have a right to a private life. If I don’t want to share something with you, I won’t share it. So don’t get mad if I don’t answer your questions. No, I brought it from Syria. I brought some hijabs with me because I knew that I’m like, I’m conflicted. I’m confused, I’m not sure.”
YTlover calls her a Muslim Queen.
“I did not have a corn dog today, maybe that’s why. But I do have chin hair, but I have to uhh, keep up with plucking and stuff.”
“I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I’ll probably go have dinner at my mom’s and stuff, and spend time with my family.”
“I don’t think I’ll never need like a Starbucks or anything cause like, I find this coffee so… like, if I want like a treat drink ok, ya know, something like that but… There’s probably a Tim Hortons around.”
“Yeah if it’s forced to be worn, that’s a different problem. Yes should be a choice, I agree . . . uhhhm, I’m not FEELING Muslim, you can get out of here too. I’m tired of like, some of my audience like, uhm, like the immature people. I don’t know.”
She’s getting really pissed now because her chat keeps needling her about the hijab. “Yeah, I woke up and FELT Muslim today. Right. Yeah… even though I spent the last 3 years being Muslim. Alright. Do you guys go after Christians like this? I’m just wondering. Do you go pick on Christian- or people, other people of other, like religions??” (I try and leave out commentary because others here are so much better at it than me, but I have to say… Her chat wouldn’t be so upset by this if she hadn’t been so blatantly cosplaying for the last 3 years. Everyone knows it’s not genuine, and now her chat is conditioned to see the hijab as a return of Sandy Peetz. They don’t “go after people of other religions” because most other youtubers either keep their religion private, or they’re truly genuine about their Faith. you ma’am, use it as a shield, a crutch, and as a way to get oppression points.)
A chatter comments “you said it was misogynistic, have you had a change of heart?”
“No, I didn’t say Islam was. I said some cultures are. That’s why some people believe that Islam is misogynistic and stuff (it is).”
“‘I’m happy you’re doing Islam classes.’ yeah I need to learn a lot more. Hell, you know people say, ‘oh you didn’t even learn about Islam, maybe learn about the religion first.’ Well, ok, let’s go for that argument then. When I was baptized as a baby, and I was shitting my diaper, I didn’t know anything about Christianity. When I was confirmed, when I had my communion, I didn’t know anything about Christianity the whole time I was Christian (That’s your mom’s fault, you also never claimed to be Christian like you’re claiming to be Muslim). I had no choice of religion. So does that mean that, you know, like I don’t get it. You can learn along the way. You can learn like, the gist of it. I believe in God is the number one thing. Then the other thing that I learnt was about the prophets and everything like that. And that’s, I’m, that’s, just ya know, they asked when I took my Shahada, do you believe in this? Do you believe in this? Like a few things. Yes, the rest you can learn later, ya know. And if you ever decide to change religions you’re allowed to (not in Islam, cutie). Freedom of religion… is a thing!!”
“I know, if you don’t like what I do, just go away. It's plain and simple.”
“You’re an idiot Pumpkin Head, What does that even have to do with anything?” (not sure what that was in reference to, I couldn’t find the comment)
“No they don’t. Muslims don’t persecute! What!?”
“My soul does need saving and that’s why, I actually think that the only thing that matters, like when I look around my apartment, all the stuff I have, and just like, everything in life… everything is just like, when I even think of like, with the situation with salah. With any, even people you love, your mother, your father, you’re going to lose everything you have one day and the only thing you’re going to have left is God. If you believe in that.”
“Yeah, we should unite against Satan. Screw you Satan!” Laughs at that.
“No his family doesn’t sit and laugh at people cause he’s not, they’re not stupid, uhh jerks like you. Sorry. No he’s not coming to Canada. I knew people would act this way.”
“I’m addressing, ya know, I’m defending, ya know, my religion choice, or my choice of, you know what I mean?”
“Salah used to make fun of me for having sugar in it cause they don’t take sugar in theirs. It’s just so much better.”
“Religion is, spirituality is a journey, it’s not just like, ya know uhm…”
“I removed alot of, I privated a lot of my videos . . . Am I hurting anyone? Like I’m not doing anything bad, ya know what I mean? Like… yeah, well Christians shouldn’t sin either. Nobody’s perfect. Actually, Allah expects that we’re going to sin, like ya know, I’m not condoning it, but it happens!”
“Yeah, not everyone’s going to agree yet, yeah I know. I haven’t even gotten around to changing my channel... His links should be there? I haven’t even, I don’t know how to remove like, even my old Twitch is still there… The Twitch link. I don’t know how to do that.”
“Confession literally exists for you to go and confess your sins and be forgiven. I know, but the way they act it’s like only Muslims sin. They always point out the ‘haram, haram’. Well, it’s also uhm, against most religions cause most religions preach peace, right? To bully people, to drink, to, to do anything, to do a lot of bad things, like, ya know? And people still do them but they don’t go after them cause they’re Christian or whatever.”
“‘How do you feel about witchcraft?’ I don’t know if I believe in it or not. It’s not something I’ve ever explored, so I don’t know.”
What will her content be moving forward? “Uuhhhhmmm…. I’m probably not going to rent a car until December. So, because November is still a bit tight, budget wise because I uhm, you know, I bought all my furniture.”
“Ugh, ok, anybody who like, harasses me about the hijab needs to be blocked. You don’t belong here! Like why am I having people like, hating on the hijab. Like, that’s so fucking Islamophobic (there we go, I was waiting for it). I need a swear jar, I need to stop swearing. That’s what I need to do. I agree. I swear a lot…. And this person is Anti-Islam.”
Where did you hear that he’s not moving in now? Thank you for your 5 bucks.”
“I, I don’t along with the crowd either.”
That pin is holding on for dear life…
“What happened to Carolina? Oh, I don’t know. Yeah she hasn’t be here in a while. I don’t know about keeping people who like, as mods. Like I don’t know… people have things that happen in their life and I don’t fault them for it and I don’t get mad, but it’s just like what’s the point of having people as mods if they’re not going to actually mod? Should I just like… I don’t… they don’t need to be mods, ya know? Is it just like an honorary thing, or I don’t know. No I’m serious, I’m like, not mad at all.”
“I dunno, I just woke, and just was like, I’m going to go live. Didn’t feel like getting ready… I saw this, but then I do also like to wea- I feel weird without the hijab! I really do, like, a lot of the times. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but overall mostly… I think it’s cause I wore it for 3 years.” So this is the actual reason, the whole stream of being pissed off at beezers, she could have just said this and everyone would have been like ‘yeah, makes sense, she was lazy this morning.’
“Who cares if I just threw it on!? What does that matter!? Even if I like the fashion of hijab and wasn’t Muslim, I’m allowed to wear it! What does that matter!?”
“‘Another scam’, yeah your FACE, bye!”
“No, not all Muslims wear it. Nope you don’t have to. People can wear headscarves, hijab if they want to. And I AM religious, so like, you have nothing to say about it. It’s not your business!”
“Yeah you can wear a hijab if you want! . . . there’s like a website that even says that in their FAQ. Like you don’t have to be Muslim to wear hijab, just like you don’t have to wear a hijab if you’re Muslim. You know? It’s like, one of those things . . . A headscarf? I dunno…”
“The people who are bothered don’t even understand Islam. At all. I agree. Well I am, I identify as a Muslim person. I never like, fully stopped. I was just like, I never came out and said I’m not Muslim, I mean, ya know… I don’t know! Well I’m not agnostic right now ok, so… I don’t know like, what, what difference it makes in your life. ‘Cultural appropriation’, whatever. Don’t care. (Didn’t she just say a couple days ago that hijabs are definitely cultural and NOT religious???) There’s not a single person from any other culture other than shit gorlworld that have a problem with it. So they can all kiss off. I’m not hurting anyone. I’m in my own journey, I don’t have to answer to anybody sooo…”
“I live at… Donald Street 1240 Donald street. Yep you’re right. Yep.” In response to someone posting that address in her chat.
“I never said I was wearing one to get attention from Salah, what are you talking about? When did I say that. So yeah, that’s what I’m doing today. But I’m also trying to figure out like…. Clean slate! I’m trying to figure out what the heck to do with myself. So I’m trying to like, plan things to do and I just don’t know what to do . . . ‘I don’t know how you put up with these people’, I know Carefree. I don’t either… Money! Heheh, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t… And you guys!!! People like you!!”
“No, because if I get demonetized, I will just use my- the couple’s channel. Which means I should go live from that channel! Are you guys sub to Salah and Chantal? Cause if I don’t do an upload like, now, then I won’t be able to- then it will be demonetized.”
Says again that she 100% needs to stop swearing.
“It’s not money for Salah. He’s not getting any money! I don’t know, like, people are insane!”
Says that if you don’t get your channel canceled by youtube, it’s not ban-evading to stream from another channel if this one gets demonetized.
“I will change the couple’s channel name, yeah. I just don’t know to what… ‘it’s ok to eat a little bit of tin foil?’ No it’s not! Is it? Is that like colloidal silver?”
Chat starts giving recommendations for the channel rename. I’m sure she’ll listen to them just like with the cat’s name.
“I’m actually not super happy… but I’m trying. I’m single but I’m not interested in… in seeing anybody.”
She says that she got an email about the couple’s channel being demonetized in the next couple days because they haven’t posted in so long
“I’ve been married for 3 years, and living in an Islamic country for 3 years, and been Muslim for 3 years where I wore a hijab for 3 years. Like, ya know, I think people just expect everything to just be like, I don’t know, it’s just not the same.”
“Well, living with peetz, it’s not a million- like a 100% cemented. It’s just like, I said yesterday, like my concerns about that. And I’m not sure like, I wouldn’t want… I don’t want him to move in until I’m sure and fully stable. Like, I don’t want to ruin his stability over my instability. Like, I won’t do that to him cause I had a lot of guilt about that.
“Yeah, I’m definitely looking forward to that therapy session, ya know.”
Talks about the channels and content being demonetized. She says there is just couples vlogs and not much food on the other channel so it should be safe from being demonetized. She thinks mukbangs should be ok if it’s normal quantities of food. Says she doesn’t know any other channels like Eugenia Cooney that fit the description of the new youtube rules.
Someone tells her to sing Pumped up Kicks and she does, stopping before she gets to the gun/bullet line. “I think it’s a good song.”
She says she’s not buying pogos anymore. Calls youtube a weird platform for their rules and stuff. She says that their new rules are discriminatory and Eugenia should probably sue them.
“She actually doesn’t talk about her eating disorder at all!”
“They’ve age-restricted some videos where I talk about like, my struggles with, like, you know, eating and stuff.”
Chat thinks Hungry Fat Chick will be demonetized next.
“So, ok, Salah and I haven’t stopped talking. We’re not like, I don’t know like, if people, I don’t know if I like, confuse people or they just don’t listen to what I have to say. We didn’t end our relationship like, on a bad note really, so… we, we were talking when we left. Uhm, we do have julia still. So, he sends me updates with Julia. Small keeping in touch. Yeah, that’s about it. And not all day. Like when we were together and I would travel to Canada, or I would, you know, we would video chat, like all day long and stuff like that. So, I don’t know… We’re not legally, like, on paper, we’re not divorced yet, but I signed the papers. We’re, we’re divorced in the eyes of God, but not legally cause you have to take that to a special place in Damascus.”
“‘But you’re divorced, so it’s normal (to cut ex spouses off and not talk to them).’ No, because why? Well, that’s your assumption. That’s not my fault, like why? Not all people who are divorced just don’t talk. That’s very black and white thinking . . . No, he’s not getting remarried now. You’re wrong. Thank you.”
A Beezer says “Girl if you ever think about going back… at least make sure we go to St Hubert first this time” Chantal responds “who knows if I’m, who knows? I’m not talking about Syria, like who knows? I’m just saying in the future, in like, let’s say a year, you know, if I want to travel somewhere else. But that makes me, you know, realize that I was very… I was very very impulsive getting the kitten like, very, very…”
“Uhm, yeah, I don’t know what the cat’s name’s going to be yet, if I’m honest. I’m going to like, impulsi- impulsivity is like, one of the big things I want to work on in therapy cause, you know…”
“Are you reading the Koran? Uh, not right now. I need to do, like, a study because I don’t understand when I try to read it.”
“Ok, let's switch to the couple’s channel!” And she ends her stream.