🐮 Lolcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / Russell Greee / Russle / Brothel Prince / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

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I always just adhered to this cartoon to teach me about Mormonism.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk
The actual Mormon rules are at the end but the whole video is funny.


"Everyone's got a plan until he gets his slurpy derpy googly doogly magoo doo punched in."

I rarely, rarely want lolcows to get physically hurt but I am genuinely curious what it would look like for Russ to physically get told to shut the fuck up.

It would be very moist, and very ugly.
 
Even though he is non-practicing, he still (poorly) follows some of the church doctrine by habit such as abstaining from alcohol and coffee (he doesn't seem to know that a mocha is flavored coffee) and presenting himself as neat and clean (his disgusting suit, and the globs of grease he adds to his hair that he thinks make him look like Elvis).

He will also vehemently defend the church from any public criticism by others on social media, while at the same time bashing it himself. When he was homeless and destitute, a Mormon church was the first place he went to for help. He was familiar with the Elders at the church, and indicated that he had perhaps started becoming involved in the religion again before the Elders apparently reneged on helping him financially.
Additionally, he clearly thinks that people who do indulge in such things are inferior and inherently "bad".

I'm working through my annual re-listen of Rekieta's reading of Why I Sued Taylor Swift, and Russell has made multiple mentions of "hipsters" in coffee shops being antagonistic towards him. He also has an autistic hateboner for people who smoke (as seen in his review of the big-nosed hooker whose house smelled like "bad things"), and sent Katy Perry a bottle of fizzy apple juice for New Years' Day (since his B-tier celebrity crush couldn't possibly be the type to indulge in yucku blucky alcohol).

He really reminds me of Chris-Chan in that way.
 
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Holy shit, Shitlips missed out. He could have had the Aussie government pay for him to fuck hookers for 4 years. He missed his golden era.
 
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Holy shit, Shitlips missed out. He could have had the Aussie government pay for him to fuck hookers for 4 years. He missed his golden era.
Would this (if the US had it) or EBT going dry be a bigger issue for Russ. I know the answer already.

Also what the fuck they could do this? A quick look says it's basically a giant pot of cash that is distributed to the downies and tards presumably by request by them/their guardians to get food and other necessities and it seems a quick fuck qualified. Imagine being an Australian whore and you get a call saying "By the support of the disability support system, we're soliciting you for this tard. Suck him his penis so he can feel human and the system does its job." What the fuck do you even say to that?
 
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Holy shit, Shitlips missed out. He could have had the Aussie government pay for him to fuck hookers for 4 years. He missed his golden era.

I struggle to find the words- I mean, doesn't Australia have a loss in the Emu war to avenge? Or is letting Ausse taxpayers keep a little more money too much for them?

Russtard could be complaining about getting cut off from hooker gibs rather than trying to use the force of government to foist hookers on small Nevada villages.
 
I struggle to find the words- I mean, doesn't Australia have a loss in the Emu war to avenge? Or is letting Ausse taxpayers keep a little more money too much for them?
Imagine being such a pathetic, shitty country. Australia got its ass kicked by turkroaches, and even lost a war to fucking BIRDS. That is what a worthless country Australia is.
 
Russ called out by name as he, once again, messages women endlessly.

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The irony is that when you Google "Liz Velasquez," there's a semifamous severely disabled woman with that same name. You may have heard of her as the "Ugliest Woman In The World" - a title bestowed upon her when she was 17.

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She is a motivational speaker as a result of her disabilities, has written multiple books, has done TED Talks with millions of views, has a documentary about her, and had her own TV show. All things that Russell desperately covets but will never achieve.
 
She is a motivational speaker as a result of her disabilities, has written multiple books, has done TED Talks with millions of views, has a documentary about her, and had her own TV show.

Yeah, but she's a girl. Girls get everything in life handed to them no matter what they look like, at least per our boy Russell.
 
I'm told she's really a kind and joyful person. On top of that, she'd be the looker in the relationship.

On a more serious note, she's the epitome of not letting her disability define her. Russ could never.

Seems like people with severe disabilities/disfigurements can go one of two ways: they can either become really good, kind, positive people who make the most of the life they've been given, or they become really nasty, bitter, selfish, ugly (in personality) people who blame everyone and everything for their problems.
 
Yeah, the whole "It was just a prank to get everyone some free time!" line doesn't even come close to ringing true. It sounds like a desperate lie thought up by an out-of-touch moron who has found themselves trapped in a very uncomfortable corner.
Quoting this here to keep from shitting up the lawsuit thread

The lie sounds like the exact kind of lie that someone who lies a lot but hasn't figured out how to lie would make.
 
The lie sounds like the exact kind of lie that someone who lies a lot but hasn't figured out how to lie would make.

It's the kind of lie someone who watches a lot of TV and rom-coms would make. I can easily picture him making darting glances from side to side (with his whole head, of course) while he sputters out his implausible excuses, expecting the recipient to frown, look suspicious at first, and then accept his bullshit story because hey that's what happens in sitcoms and chick flicks. When people walk away shaking their heads, he probably goes "WHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE!" out loud and wipes his sweaty brow.
 
The LSD church doesn't explicitly ban soft drinks but they do ban coffee. I thought this includes caffeinated beverages (i.e., COKE).
Last I checked, Coke was okay with Mormons.

Is Russ bugging her from the Wild West Resort account or does he have another account now?

I hope she posts screenshots.
"Hey"
"Hi lol"
"Hey"
"I sent you a dollar"
"Hey"
"You're literally ignoring me lol"
"It's kind of weird that I kindly messaged you and now you're just not even answering lol"
"It's ironic that you want respect for yourself when you literally won't give respect to a genuine guy who messages you"
"WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME, YOU HATE THE DISABLED, GO DUCK YOURSELF"

I already know what the messages are going to say, but I still really want to see them.
 
The LSD church doesn't explicitly ban soft drinks but they do ban coffee. I thought this includes caffeinated beverages (i.e., COKE).

Coffee and tea aren't exactly banned, but they do go against the Word of Wisdom. You won't be excommunicated or disfellowed for drinking them, but it can prevent you from getting a Temple Recommend. Caffinated soft drinks like Coke are neither banned nor endorsed. Those are up for each individual to decide for themselves. Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, and Dr. Pepper are all very popular sodas with LDS people, but so is Sprite. Some families frown on caffinated sodas and won't let their children drink them, while others don't mind it.
 
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