"My name is Amby Ditch. I'm not going to go into my usual clown routine because that's what you want. So here I go into my usual clown routine making all the same arguments and excuses!
Its not gonna work this time... I can't explain how but it won't work!
You all tell the truth about me, and that scares me right out of my diaper. I shared my life on a public forum, and you all looked at it. Shame on you. My father aboosed me, and neglected me, despite... y'know, setting me up with an apartment and putting a roof over me, and not pressing charges all those times but HE ABOOSED ME. EVERYONE ABOOSED ME.
No one can question my story! I totally spiked my family's food with laxatives and got away with it. I got arrested a lot and because my parents dropped all the charges that means I didn't do it. Remember, I'm so stupid I can't string words together, let me remind you I know a lot of legal terms. Look how immaculately I write for a dumb-dumb.
My boolies got the cops to aboose me in cleveland. I totally never stole a credit card despite evidence to the contrary.
I like recording children with a tablet and roleplaying as a retard around children on roblox and have videos of me RPing on my speak n spell about making a litle girl shit in a diaper but I'm not a pedo gaiz.
I didn't talk till I was 5... or was it 4? 8? Lets go with 5 this time.
I am going to say today that I was NOT SA'd by my brother. Tomorrow that might change.
My parents were under investigation for neglect... I called the cops so much the cops knew everyone by name.
Let me list everything I think is wrong with me this week. A lot of this is stuff I made up just for this list.
I have been on social security disability since I was 7 because that totally happens. Remember, I'm a big moron who needs 24/7 care but I can write all this and use all these big words. I don't want help, but I need it and if I don't get it I will harass you and call you a booly. earlier I said my parents loved and protected me, but now I'm going to say they refused to help me and were evil boolies.
I was able to work part time and function in society before I found out I could larp as a retard.
Don't listen to the trolls who can provide evidence of me saying these things. believe me, in this post. please. If you don't believe me you're a booly.
My squatch slave dad is bringing me back home this week. Remember, he abooses and neglects me and he is a danger to my health but he's bringing me home. I'm going to spend time with the family and dogs I poisoned. I intend on spending time on the playground watching more children."