💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Shartavius]

Tammy probably left him naked on the blood-designated toilet and went to bed.

 

[the khat quaffer]

That would explain it. The "CWJ" logo would just make it easier for bacteria to get in there, too.

How fitting for Jack's laser-engraved some would be a breeding ground for bacteria and disease.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

description (TOTALLY not AI-generated):
Its opponent, the MEGA GRILLED CHEESE, boasts artisan sourdough, layered with gooey sharp cheddar, crispy bacon, and jalapeños, toasted in butter for a sophisticated crunch. The camera pans across the stovetope, filling the air with mouthwatering aromas. Jack swoons over the flavors, but the Gourmet’s sweet-savory complexity and rustic crust steal the show, earning it the crown as the ultimate grilled cheese champion in a close, deliciously contentious match

Gourmet is the last word that should be used to describe fatty

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Fatty has a high IQ

 

[Slavic Patronym]

I knew a black dude who had a dad who was into classics and named all his kids names starting with A from ancient Greek classics.

This guy wasn't NFL Hall of Famer Aeneas Demetrius Williams, by chance, was he? Wikipedia says he has a brother named Achilles. (Though his other brother is named Malcolm, so I suppose that's disqualifying.)

Also I really hope one of the kids was named Aeaea. Literally the only time I've ever said, "Oh, what the fuck," while reading a book.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

This guy wasn't NFL Hall of Famer Aeneas Demetrius Williams, by chance, was he? Wikipedia says he has a brother named Achilles. (Though his other brother is named Malcolm, so I suppose that's disqualifying.)

Also I really hope one of the kids was named Aeaea. Literally the only time I've ever said, "Oh, what the fuck," while reading a book.

Still a better name than whatever the fuck Elon named his one child.

 

[AltisticRight]

Fatty has a high IQ

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He's a Redditor wearing the skin of a fat orange retard simp.

 

[densedance]

Still a better name than whatever the fuck Elon named his one child.

SR-71?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Knowing Jack, I strongly doubt that a salad arc would bring about the health benefits that one would normally expect. Reminder of what his take on a salad is:

Each time I see that salad I feel like a part of me dies a little more.

It's just revolting and is everything wrong with this country.

Fatty has a high IQ

View attachment 7795842

Of course he praises Rick and Morty as being "smart". Gotta jump on that bandwagon years later like he always does.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

c.diff arc..

All the nurses I know say c. diff shits are a different level of foul. Now imagine a Jack Scalfani c. diff shit.

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack can't even be assed to learn his own grandsons name.. wow even for him that's low.

You can't hate this fat man enough.

 

[AnOminous]

All the nurses I know say c. diff shits are a different level of foul. Now imagine a Jack Scalfani c. diff shit.

No. I refuse.

Fatty has a high IQ

View attachment 7795842

How is this fag simultaneously a white trash boomer Trumptard and a redditor at the same time?

 

[Shartavius]

How is this fag simultaneously a white trash boomer Trumptard and a redditor at the same time?

He can't decide which he would rather half-ass pretending to be while shitting in his living room.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

Jack can't even be assed to learn his own grandsons name.. wow even for him that's low.

You can't hate this fat man enough.

He straight up ignored several chats about Atreus' name this weekend during his livestreams. The motherfucker swears it sounds like A-tree-us because "that's what the internet said." The name is spoken hundred of times in the games they took his name from, why does he choose this hill to die on?

 

[Shartavius]

why does he choose this hill to die on?

The "hill" is him refusing to be wrong about anything, ever, while in fact insisting on being wrong about everything, all of the time. That's the "insurmountable hubris" mentioned in the OP: Jack is too thin-skinned to admit to getting anything wrong, ever - which is a rare mental disability, even amongst retards. And if you told Jack he has less humility than a retard, he wouldn't be able to decide what to lie about in response to such a charge - but his reaction would involve lying about something ridiculous; simply because that's what he does in response to any kind of challenge (I wish we knew more about some of the whoppers he's surely laid on his doctors when asked to explain how he managed to eat himself back into the ER so soon after his last visit).

It's why his constant state of failure and disgrace will never stop being funny: Even if Jack is crying on the ground with blood running out of his ass, he'll say or do something to ensure any pity you might have felt for him was short-lived and utterly dissipated. He is a classically irredeemable personality.

It also explains why Jack is a manchild and aspiring bully who has been unemployed since the 1990s, fails at everything, learns nothing, documents all of it for fame delusions, eats himself into a wheelchair with a toilet seat in it, and claims the team of doctors prescribing the pharmacy of medications keeping him alive in spite of himself "don't know anything"; because he knows best, and is undeniable, living proof of making only correct decisions. He also just-so-happens to be perfectly entitled to everybody around him wiping his ass and feeding him huge amounts of food he'll film himself lying about having eaten while they sit next to him, stone-faced; afraid to upset the giant baby who can only be pacified with meat-emphasized portions of food he lies about having eaten.

Jack may as well be a comic book character in a cape and overfilled, bloody diaper who is regularly depicted pontificating while leaning against vehicles and waist-high structures in the course of pretending to stand proud (while failing to hide his toilet wheelchair just out of frame).

 

[Tiresome]

How is this fag simultaneously a white trash boomer Trumptard and a redditor at the same time?

This is the man who loved everything about Barack Obama except he decided his middle name was the unforgivable disqualifying offense. The absolute pinnacle ideal of the low-information, easily led voter.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

He straight up ignored several chats about Atreus' name this weekend during his livestreams. The motherfucker swears it sounds like A-tree-us because "that's what the internet said." The name is spoken hundred of times in the games they took his name from, why does he choose this hill to die on?

he dumb

 

[ILikeYou]

He apparently got his pronunciation of his grandson's name from Google, which makes me wonder: has he not spoken to his son/daughter-in-law since the baby's birth? Has he gotten all the info through text messages and online posts?

he dumb

 

[AnOminous]

This is the man who loved everything about Barack Obama except he decided his middle name was the unforgivable disqualifying offense. The absolute pinnacle ideal of the low-information, easily led voter.

I was (merely) okay with Obama but still liked calling him Iraq Hussein Osama.

 

[the khat quaffer]

He apparently got his pronunciation of his grandson's name from Google, which makes me wonder: has he not spoken to his son/daughter-in-law since the baby's birth? Has he gotten all the info through text messages and online posts?

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I wouldn't be surprised if Brianna and the doctors insisted they keep that walking rolling ball of salmonella away from the newborn Atreyu. Besides, his gurgling would probably frighten him. And it's not like they would ever let Jack hold him, since, you know...he can't. Not without some kinda harness getup, but that puts him very close to Jacko's mouth.

I was (merely) okay with Obama but still liked calling him Iraq Hussein Osama.

I liked calling him a six letter n word. Or President "So Fresh" in the company of less discriminating individuals.