🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[my penis is on fire]

You know that figs are a real fruit right? And grow on trees.

The other day I forgot for a moment that fig trees are a real thing. Someone mentioned watering their fig tree and it hit me like an MKUltra trigger phrase

 

[Hulkster]

The pirate software hate video slop epidemic must be stopped. This reminds me of the SSSniperwolf situation, when every commentary YouTuber milked the drama until SSSniperwolf's tits were dry. Truly shameful.

 

[KosherFarms.net]

Lmao the intravenous ray traced lighting shill continues. Turkey Tom mentioned it when shit talking malds lighting, made me laugh my ass off.

Timestamped segment


https://youtube.com/watch?v=TnuofQt7GTI:2563

how much did this faggot plagiarize from the forum? did we get credit

I tried to call him but his mailbox is full and there is not enough space to leave a message

why would you ever willingly talk to this faggot? You could catch GRIDs

 

[Rezza]

the jeet sheeted on this at their 3 hour long therapy session... In malds brain this deeply disgusting him because he always 100% correct... he only has 2 stance in his mind someone either:

1. automatically siding with him because he is the one who "correct" (mentally superior) in the subject of the matter
2. need to give "context" (lie) to "explain" (double down) why he is "correct" (mentally superior) (like a fucking jew)

He never assume anyone has the mental faculty, deduction capability, and possessing critical information to form his own conclusion and dare to deviate from his precived truth based on his shallow thinking...

thus the dire maul fiasco mald's brain never computed the fact he was capcured in 4k at least 3... THREE different perspective and analyzed frame by frame ad nauseam. He just went for his ego programing 1, then 2... and now his brain got BSOD because he can't compute why the world around him not went back to his ego state 1 despite he went trough state 2... And ALL his old shit got dogpiled on him at once...

If mald would be a jew he would be those extrem "god's choosen people" kind of jew, who's hated by "regular" jews as well... I forget the term, those kinds of jew who plea for religious exemption just to avoid the mandatory service under their own fucking defence force...

And this is why now I genuinely believe he's legit an idiot. He couldn't compute of the idea that someone else might have thought to themselves. His stupidity is not the result of his ego, it's his ego that is the result of his stupidity

 

[Burnt Effigy]

We literally had a fucking audio engineer in this thread reverse-engineer the modifications Maldy made and got his real voice from audio clips. How long are you retards going to keep beating this dead horse for?

My kiwi in christ, chill.

I have seen the audio analysis thing, I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying it doesn't account for everything about Mald's voice.
If he had only done audio editing, the occasional slip-ups that have been noticed over the thousand or so pages of this thread would not exist.

What does account for Mald's voice when he's recorded outside (like that clip where he's at a streetcar station or something) or at the game awards, would be some effort on his part.
That's where I'm slotting in the HRT.

 

[Mio Naganohara]

digitalblackface.mp4

Spoiler: sperging

"Digital blackface" is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard anyone unironically complain about, retard SJWs tried to cancel people for using filters that altered their skin tones several years ago and ever since it's been embedded in my mind as the pinnacle of retardation

why would you ever willingly talk to this faggot? You could catch GRIDs

Everyone knows Mald suffers from Gay Rectum Insertion of Dicks syndrome

 

[Hooked on phobics]

A "second puberty" has never existed in the human body and unless your endocrine system is completely fucked up (which his isn't seeing how he functions like a normal human being), you will never experience vocal changes as drastic as Jason "FerretFucker" Hall.

Just to note, full onset of puberty voice effects do sometimes extend into TWENTIES, (my voice and beard absolutely developed much better around then) but by 25 you have all your ever going to have. If you CANNOT grow a beard/ have a deep voice by 25, you simply aren't getting one sans specific medical intervention.

how much did this faggot plagiarize from the forum? did we get credit

He did mention kiwi farms (and multiple individual users) so I struggle to say he credited "nobody"

 

[Haramburger]

Lol nice I have made it into a turkey tom vid.

Barely, because he couldn't be bothered to even run your name through google translate and just call you something like I have with "oretachi." I do have to give Turkey Tom credit for at least citing his sources and actually saying the dirty words "Kiwi Farms" several times throughout the video, while also pointing out the actual user names/avatars. I think it's an improvement, and he's gotten alot of feedback(mostly us shouting into the void while mentioning his name) on not sufficiently crediting the Farms so it's nice. It's positive change.

Based on the style of crediting, while also picking out some of the more obscure Figtree lore and his initial thesis in the video of "the problem isn't that he's a bad person... at every opportunity to course correct, he's doubled down on his worst character traits, proving to everyone that he is truly incapable of welcoming criticism" I think he definitely utilized the Table of Contents I made. Which I endorse, I can even appreciate that he slipped in a short clip of Meat Canyon's cartoon in the intro, he really has tried to make as comprehensive a video possible on a very interesting lolcow(one he's had to revisit because the thread is so incredibly different from just six months ago). He was a little too thick in some areas, a little light on others, but there's so much here I think 11 other videos from other people could be made like this and still come out pretty different and interesting from different angles. Which begs the question: What would an actual Kiwi Farmer's video be like?

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

Or he just named it after a.. fig tree. You know that figs are a real fruit right? And grow on trees. Jason isn't fucking smart enough to have known what figging is back when he made that username. He couldn't even hold down a job at Blizzard at the bottom of the barrel when he made that username.

He wouldn't need to be smart to know what "figging" is. Only a degenerate, and we know he is one.

 

[Haramburger]

Not saying you are wrong, but this is the essence of why mald is a pain \ pathological liar, his constant "2nd puberty" and other various lies and obfuscations take longer and more effort to explain why they are debunked than many want to (constantly) explain to thread tourists, and there's literally dozens of these types of cases with him.

It's why an op rewrite is already needed so bad.

The fourth re-writie is in progress from Relinquish, no specific ETA but it's definitely daunting for even a tourist to be expected to read and absorb the entire OP as it is, images, clips, paragraphs... Some perspective I've gained from note-taking the entire 1,100 first pages was that it's completely normal for there to be stints where there's no "meat" or major happening for 5-10 pages, or what amounts to hundreds of posts, and it's just users interacting on a common interest. It's fine for people to come in and ask, or leave an uninformed take. Probably the best way to conserve posts if you think something is being re-stated too many times, check the Table of Contents and just tell them "go look at page 638, y a t s analyzed it, it's for sure not Second Puberty™."

 

[Hannibalistique]

Which begs the question: What would an actual Kiwi Farmer's video be like?

I call this the "no true kiwi" fallacy (I'm fairly certain Tom is more active on the site and has been for longer than both the mean and median user here).

 

[Poisonbreath]

Steam's been quiet. Every time I've checked I've only seen the same untouched threads, though I probably have been missing some stuff that got deleted. There is a few threads up right now, but only this one looked worth grabbing.

Spoiler: Oh Wow

https://archive.ph/BwMGP

Mald is gonna need another week off.

 

[Haramburger]

I call this the "no true kiwi" fallacy (I'm fairly certain Tom is more active on the site and has been for longer than both the mean and median user here).

Yeah, he joined while underaged.

 

[Mr. Johnson]

I feel like the "cum wall" didn't get enough attention from recent reveals. Is the internet just that jaded nowadays that it's not shocking enough?
I guess everyone is waiting for ferret reveals and youtubers don't want to dramatize him cheating on his wife with 2 people a decade younger than him.

 

[Mad_Dog]

My bawls stink

 

[Unimaginative Username]

The pirate software hate video slop epidemic must be stopped. This reminds me of the SSSniperwolf situation, when every commentary YouTuber milked the drama until SSSniperwolf's tits were dry. Truly shameful.

Hope she sees this, dude (but she's still not going to suck your dick.)

I also hope Mald sees this (and he probably would suck your dick).

 

[Pixy]

A true kiwifarmer video would have constant mentions about how everything was sourced from KF every 30 seconds.

 

[Unimaginative Username]

A true kiwifarmer video would have constant mentions about how everything was sourced from KF every 30 seconds.

A true kiwifarmer video would also have a constant loop of "nigger nigger nigger nigger" playing in the background to prevent Asmongold from reacting to it, which would also result in his account being banned within an hour of upload.

 

[Relinquish]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=TnuofQt7GTITerry Davis, the greatest programmer that has ever lived, reference at 42:00. Billions must praise God at his temple.
Terry Davis - The Hardest Question In Programming (360p).mp4

I'm honestly really pissed that Tom didn't cover Jason's past as a Second Life in detail and didn't even mention JLU / Justice League Unlimited at all. Especially since I went out of my way to cover the whole saga in my new OP in detail (even before Lanza's video)

 

[Hooked on phobics]

I feel like the "cum wall" didn't get enough attention from recent reveals. Is the internet just that jaded nowadays that it's not shocking enough?

I believe its content fatigue. When a lolcow is SPEWING forth milk, its hard to process it all. Like think of it as a literal cow with literal milk, and spewing a gallon a second. Does the milk machine (the thread and participants) have the EQUIPMENT (stamina) to process a gallon a second? Probably not, so it gets backed up. This happened most notably with the gflashex thread, just SO MUCH to process for so long that some stuff just wasn't for a long time. So even months after something was "revealed" or "found" it wouldn't actually be dissected because people were exhausted

I think another element is that, maybe theres not much to add to it? I mean...fucking cumwall...but that might be the content fatigue talking.

I'm honestly really pissed that Tom didn't cover Jason's past as a Second Life in detail and didn't even mention JLU / Justice League Unlimited at all.

I know how you mean, but its already a 2 hour video. Same fatigue thing applies here, I suspect around the 2 hour mark it gets harder to be motivated to include EVERY single thing.

Though he for sure could of AT LEAST gone over the creamsicle husky thing, and ferret avatar while running a "ferret rescue", even if he didn't go over every SINGLE other thing