How to Get Fake, Cushy Office Job Where You Do Literally Nothing

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
The AI “revolution” is cutting a lot of those jobs. These jobs still exist but you have to be a son or a daughter of the CEO to get these gigs now. Diversity gigs used to be plentiful and you could sit on your ass for several months before they started to wisen up. Even those are getting cut and a lot of them used to check multiple diversity boxes (black queer womxn who is “disabled”). The thing about those jobs where you just sit on your ass is that you always have to guess when the shoe is going to drop and you have to find another job soon. Could be a few months, could be a couple years.
 
Bogan said:
For example, if all you did was stock shelves at night at some grocery store you could write "monitored and maintained stock levels, and oversaw quality of work for colleagues such as stock rotation, presentation, and time efficiency".
Click to expand...
I know so many worthless fucks who pad their resumes like this that I refuse to do the same lest someone lump me in with them. I know it's petty and not very self serving but I after working with fucks who do that I just can't.....They are all worthless fucks. Bring on the AI revolution so only the most proficient humans survive!
 
Legal or Illegal?

Legal: Professional Cry Bully on YouTube - whine about Trump and that you need donations for something like Myeloma treatment (it's an incurable blood cancer, but can be stabalised).

If you dress and act like a fag and rage cry for hours, ching ching quids in.

Illegal: Do you know Ubuntu, how to Word Press on the Dark Web and are okay with opening up a Market there?

Only drawback is you might get arrested and spend a lot of years behind bars getting buggered by Tyrone and the gang.
 
Idk I automated my last job and still had a fat negro lady yelling at me for not doing more of her job(RIP).
Kyuruma said:
Some good advice in this thread both for doing it and reasons to avoid it, I'll throw in my hat for avoiding it however. Being forced to spend x amount of hours every day pretending to work will very quickly feel like a prison. Regardless of whether it's home or in an office, you may regret not choosing a more active job that keeps your mind off of all the other shit you'd rather be doing instead. I have no idea how all of these credential faking jeets do it, boredom literally makes me more stressed than active problems that need to be solved.
Click to expand...
This is very true but largely depends on the attentiveness of your boss. I've had this job where the boss is running the same scam as you are and just needs a number they can say, will love to lie for a delay until the project moves on and then I've also had it where the boss is up your ass everyday and you are chained regardless of what you have to do.
 
Is it bad that I don't find white collar jobs very appealing? Being in an office all day just seems like high school 2.0, and to me it almost contradicts the added freedom you get while attending college most of the time.
I'd rather be out in the field doing....something, and able to work under a less rigid schedule. Wouldn't mind waking up at 4 AM if it meant I could be done by 2 PM. I don't want to be around people as an actual core part of the job, it's okay to deal with them every so often though.
Don't even know what the hell I'm going to do after college considering my degree is IT-related. I'm a retard.
 
Joshua Connor Tomar said:
the boss is up your ass everyday and you are chained regardless of what you have to do.
Click to expand...
I've only ever had managers and coworkers who are like this so I don't know how common these fake do-nothing jobs are.

Gandhi's Left Hook said:
I refuse to do the same lest someone lump me in with them. I know it's petty and not very self serving but I after working with fucks who do that I just can't
Click to expand...
I can sympathise with the principle of it, but ultimately you're competing against rajamahans who will do this and take away opportunities you deserve more than them.

NH-8340 said:
Is it bad that I don't find white collar jobs very appealing?
Click to expand...
NH-8340 said:
I don't want to be around people as an actual core part of the job, it's okay to deal with them every so often though.
Don't even know what the hell I'm going to do after college considering my degree is IT-related.
Click to expand...
I started working in an office dealing with clients frequently and it's already very draining, even if it pays more and is less physically exhausting than what I used to do. I don't really know any career paths that allow for working at my own pace, rarely dealing with customers, and not being stuck staring at a screen all day though.

As for IT-related jobs I thought there were a lot of roles that just involved doing callouts to businesses and being left alone to fix problems.
 
Made In Wales said:
Legal or Illegal?

Legal: Professional Cry Bully on YouTube - whine about Trump and that you need donations for something like Myeloma treatment (it's an incurable blood cancer, but can be stabalised).

If you dress and act like a fag and rage cry for hours, ching ching quids in.

Illegal: Do you know Ubuntu, how to Word Press on the Dark Web and are okay with opening up a Market there?

Only drawback is you might get arrested and spend a lot of years behind bars getting buggered by Tyrone and the gang.
Click to expand...
I mean, you can also just scam people on your dark web marketplace, expecially if its for drugs. What are they going to do? Call the cops on you?
 
NH-8340 said:
Don't even know what the hell I'm going to do after college considering my degree is IT-related. I'm a retard.
Click to expand...
Most view IT as a way to become an employee, which puzzles me. You can architect basically anything inside of this computer thing, which most people don't even understand how it works, be it a videogame, a website or even build your own machine. You don't need to do jeetcode for a salary. I wish I had what it takes to be an architect and not just a consumer.
 
I had one of these jobs and I wanted to neck. I quit and went on to do something where I learned new skills.

My old do nothing co workers have now been laid off and can’t find work again.

I don’t think it’s a good long term play. It depends on your industry, but most industries are aware of which spots contain lazy faggots and won’t actually hire people who have been in those spots for too long. So, if you get laid off, you’re fucked.

I guess that leaves academia because tenure?
 
'project management'

it's so general purpose you can transfer in to it from a lot of different jobs because basically anything's a 'project'
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom