You Know What Grinds My Gears? - Things that personally piss you off

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Late to the dog talk but nowadays I can't stand dogs and they used to be among my favorite animals. Most dog owners don't know or care to take proper care of their dogs and they make it everyone else's problem, it's not even the jumping or licking that bothers me, it's the barking. Dog barking is such an aggravating sound.

My downstairs neighbors have a large dog that barks incessantly at random hours of the day, on some days it doesn't bark at all, but on the days it chooses to bark it Never. Fucking. Stops. It's from morning to midnight, and it's been getting worse. I'm currently considering buying a dog whistle to wage a sonic war against it, but I hate that my cats will be caught in the crossfire. If anyone here has any advice on how to deal with this in an apartment I appreciate it, most of the advice I found only applies to suburbs.

Feeling this fucking HARD.

I detest dog owners these days, aside from the rare old school boomer who has his trusty mutt, and practices good etiquette.

I don't want to deal with your unleashed dog running up to me in a public place.

I don't want your dog pissing on my bins/bookshop out front.

I don't want to see your fucking dog climbing onto the seats on the train, and you acting like it's an unstoppable force of nature.

Dog owners are the niggers of pet owners these days, probably narrowly beating out cat owners - only because most cats are indoors now.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Quoting comedians like they're philosophers.

Some dude tried to “own” me in a thread by quoting Bill Hicks like he was the surgeon general.

Oh wow, sorry dude, I didn’t realize you studied at the George Carlin Institute of Public Policy.

No one in real life has ever been like, “Uhh, excuse me, I believe Patrice O’Neal debunked this in his 2007 Def Comedy Jam set"

 

[internet friend]

People who talk with that cadence where they sound constantly on the verge of tears

 

[Uncle Tom's Condo]

License plates. There's too many goddamn stupid license plates these days. Every state/province should have a single design with letter-letter-letter-number-number-number format. One color for the background and one color for the letters/numbers. It's not that hard. But no, now every state and province have all these stupid plates for like Pro Life or Save the Crabs or Go Oilers (lol not gonna happen) or like a million dumb things in Texas like even down to your high school. Nobody cares its the 175th anniversary of Utah or whatever your stupid plate says.

Custom plates are even dumber somehow and nobody cares that you LUVLIF. Buy some faggot stickers from MAGA.com or REI to plaster all over your F-250 or Prius and save some money but know I'm not going wave you through in traffic bc I see your plate and don't like the message. Now that most places don't even require a front plate (bc blacks are too stupid to register cars and that's racist somehow???) it doesn't matter. Cool volunteer firefighter plates you larper that read FRBUG, you probably set fire to half of your tone outs.

Quebec Je me souviens and the Alaska blue on yellow remain Chad Tier plates and everything else is garbage. Honorable mention to the 80's era California plates. Yes, I think about this way too much and spent too much time staring out the window on road trips as a child. Whatever. It does grind my gears though.

 

[Meat Target]

Oh wow, sorry dude, I didn’t realize you studied at the George Carlin Institute of Public Policy.

Otherwise known as Reddit.

Tax: really autistic one, but in sports, I've found that players who wear the jersey numbers 2, 3, 5, 15, 24, and 25 are more likely to be douchebags. I get why it's the case with 2, because those guys are Derek Jeter wannabes and play shortstop.

 

[Soso]

Pointless administrative bloat. Why the hell is our local school district trying to add success coaches for the elementary level? (or any level) Especially when the kindergarten classrooms in one elementary school are going to be hot this September because somehow "it'll take time to fix the AC and it will probably be during the first two weeks of the school year." But somehow you hire a success coach for the elementary level in record time. What the hell is she supposed to do that the school counselor, social worker, can't do? At least a behavioral specialist (despite her being useless) sounds more useful than a success coach who is supposed to motivate students and teachers.

 

[pyrinyx]

Moralfags.

The kind of people that to some level, still believe in the concepts of karma and the existence of heavens and hells. That we shouldn't speak ill will of the dead, despite them having been absolute shit stains of human beings to those around them or on a global scale. That we shouldn't wish anything bad on them and that they always say that they "wouldn't wish that on someone". I do wish death on some people, I do wish misery on some people because there are those kinds of people who do not and will not learn how shit they are, unless they've been dragged through even a quarter of the world of shit they've inflicted onto others.

Because if you keep putting the kid gloves on with handling them, they aren't going to learn shit and they'll find exploits. They'll keep exploiting every poor sop who bothers giving them another chance, so that they can blow it again. Do you just enjoy that kind of slapping to the face?

So what's the point? To express and show some level of humanity? Humanity to those who've long abandoned theirs?

And what about the kind of people who say shit like "if I do X like that Y person then I'll become like them!" and I've gathered this from true crime stuff. Okay so you had intentions and thoughts to kill a murderer, for example, who've destroyed say some 20 lives and affected the communities and families to those lives. What makes you think that if you executed that one person, would make you like them? Do you think you'll possess the same kind of harbored insanity that serial killers possess? Do you think you'll go ravaging through multiple lives, despite you ending the killer with good honest intention in a great righteous act that benefits everyone? Come on now. I don't buy that logic. Nobody is going to see you as the crazy fucking murderer, you'll be heralded instead and that should be a good thing because people know you wouldn't be that serial killer. I just don't get it.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Why the does everyone online keep saying “buckle up”? Who the fuck started that and why is it everywhere now? Somehow it exploded recently? How did this Boomer ass phrase get repurposed? (Like “hold onto your butts”?)

 

[ChompChomp]

Who the fuck started that

NHTSA?

 

[Eadred]

Those hyper saturated YouTube thumbnails with little to no descriptor in the title. "He destroyed everyone".
The fuck are you on about? Can't even make out what your gay video is about. Instantly goes into the "don't recommend channel" trash bin.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Those hyper saturated YouTube thumbnails with little to no descriptor in the title. "He destroyed everyone".
The fuck are you on about? Can't even make out what your gay video is about. Instantly goes into the "don't recommend channel" trash bin.

The dumbest thing about clickbait is that they're so far up their asses now that they're indistinguishable from the parody.

 

[Rick The Stick]

Cooking videos where they insist on tasting the food and telling you how good it is.

1. Thanks for wearing a collar mic so I can hear every single goddamn sound of you chewing and swallowing. Very cool. Please choke and die next time.
2. I can't fuckin taste the shit so shut up. Unless you're gonna go into autistic detail and describe the flavor profile and texture, just shut up and cook.

 

[Squanto Airi]

Some dude tried to “own” me in a thread by quoting Bill Hicks like he was the surgeon general.

Bill Hicks and George Carlin are a plague on comedy. Their schtick was ranting into a microphone and getting applause, and modern comedians have taken that influence into their own "comedy" works. No wonder Norm didn't like them.

Cooking videos where they insist on tasting the food and telling you how good it is.

1. Thanks for wearing a collar mic so I can hear every single goddamn sound of you chewing and swallowing. Very cool. Please choke and die next time.
2. I can't fuckin taste the shit so shut up. Unless you're gonna go into autistic detail and describe the flavor profile and texture, just shut up and cook.

I've come to detest most cooking youtubers.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Bill Hicks and George Carlin are a plague on comedy. Their schtick was ranting into a microphone and getting applause, and modern comedians have taken that influence into their own "comedy" works. No wonder Norm didn't like them.

I get it, a lotta acts from that era didn’t age well. But Hicks might be the most disappointing icon I’ve looked into. Dice had an incredible look, you could recognize him by his silhouette, Kinison was like the original ranter, Carlin had a way with language....Hicks is pretty much the Kurt Cobain of comedy, he died so we figure he must have been his gen's Lenny Bruce even though his material's like "Jesus probably wouldn’t be stoked about seeing crosses everywhere " OH WOW.

 

[Local Fed]

While we're talking about comedians, I do not understand why Sam Kinison seems to be on the Mount Rushmore of comedians for so many. Every time I've tried to listen to his stuff it's just him shrieking "OH OH OHHHHH" into a mic while not really saying anything funny. From what I've heard of his stuff, it's like listening to the worst parts of the Kino Casino or something.

 

[Count Grishnackh]

While we're talking about comedians, I do not understand why Sam Kinison seems to be on the Mount Rushmore of comedians for so many. Every time I've tried to listen to his stuff it's just him shrieking "OH OH OHHHHH" into a mic while not really saying anything funny. From what I've heard of his stuff, it's like listening to the worst parts of the Kino Casino or something.

Listen to his skit about Ethiopia from the mid 80's.

 

[Captain Syrup]

So I sign up for this free trial right, some dogshit 3D modeling software, like “VoxelFuck Pro” or something. They say, “Start for free! Includes 4 credits!”

I go to render; bam. “You have insufficient credits."

They do this with every app now. It’s like, “Welcome to the free trial! Here’s 4 imaginary beans. The thing you want costs 10 beans," or you click one thing and suddenly it’s like, “You’ve used all your monthly render units.” Bruh.

You click “Cancel” and a pop-up says “You have insufficient credits to cancel.”

 

[Not A Bunny]

While we're talking about comedians, I do not understand why Sam Kinison seems to be on the Mount Rushmore of comedians for so many. Every time I've tried to listen to his stuff it's just him shrieking "OH OH OHHHHH" into a mic while not really saying anything funny. From what I've heard of his stuff, it's like listening to the worst parts of the Kino Casino or something.

This was back in the days of Howard Stern and Andrew Dice Clay, and I'll add Madonna in there, too. Basically, it was the age of excess, and there was nothing more excessive than entertainers that were there to shock you, or be loud and ballsy. Or all of those things.

Kinison was the comedic equivalent of any butt rock band in the 80s. Over the top noise, loud, brash, talks about sex a lot, you get the idea.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

I'm proposing a new law for CEOs. Once a year they must try and remove a sticker placed on their product with no tools chosen randomly from their inventory. If the sticker cannot be removed cleanly they are executed live on TV.

I may have just spent 20 mins trying unsuccessfully to remove retarded stickers from some plastic containers I bought.

Years ago I found a US Army cup in the woods. It went many times through fire and embers (sometimes empty to be disinfected before I put water inside), I used it on an electric stovetop and it went through many cycles in a dishwasher, and guess what? The damn sticker on the outer side of its bottom is still there. Of course it's black and unreadable, but what the hell.

 

[Yakka Hula]

License plates. There's too many goddamn stupid license plates these days. Every state/province should have a single design with letter-letter-letter-number-number-number format. One color for the background and one color for the letters/numbers. It's not that hard...

YES. Not to PL, but I live in a state where every time we get a new governor, it seems they/their shit-for-brain wife decides our plates need to be “updated” and here comes another high school art class reject design. On the plus side, changing the plate isn’t mandatory when you renew, but its only a matter of time before one of them decides everyone needs to have their design.

Getting rid of the front plate is really stupid when you realize that it helps track down vehicles involved in hit/skip and run incidents.

Thread tax: Someone at work has a birthday, so OF COURSE the online team chat is a wank fest of “HaPPie BeRFdaaAAyZ” messages/sparkly “dredged from MySpace’s rectal vault” GIFs all damn day.