You Know What Grinds My Gears? - Things that personally piss you off

[Soso]

Life isn’t Reddit, you don’t score points for making the single pithy witty comment you’re desperately fishing for by being a snarky asshole 24/7.

Being snarky or sarcastic comes down to the right place, and the right time. Many fail to understand that and think being a dick at random means they're funny.

Thread tax: When people don't put shit back where it belongs, and now there's a mess left for me or I have to search a lot longer to find where they misplaced shit.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Whoever invented FaceTime should be sealed into a sarcophagus, entombed with those flesh eating scarabs from The Mummy.

Because now every formerly quiet public space has a guffawing cunt on speakerphone, and the voice on the other end always sounds like the Peanuts teacher echoing through my skull.

 

[Dufe]

Understand that I deeply respect the chinaman. I respect the mystical ninja samurai powers they have, from ripping out my heart and showing it still beating, to the Death Touch, to the nippon steel. The land is beautiful, women are beautiful and the food is the most supreme. But food is why I am here. Why does all Chinese colored people have to chew so loudly? I know every culture has a flaw, why did you have to sully yours with lip smacking?

 

[Eadred]

House flies. Fuck those retarded bastards.
I have respect for 99.9% of animals, but they are annoying assholes and only good as spider food.

 

[Rick The Stick]

Thread tax: When people don't put shit back where it belongs, and now there's a mess left for me or I have to search a lot longer to find where they misplaced shit.

Stole mine.

One of our R&D/Engineer guys came and snagged one my tools without asking. I notice and go to hunt the cunt down only to find he'd already left. My shits just gone. I've turned my entire area inside out. I've combed through their disgusting fucking rats nest of an area. Nothing.
I'm about to start being a fucking cockhole by locking all my shit up and making people ask my permission and then sign a slip to check out my tools while I stand over their shoulder so i can take my stuff back immediately. I've done it before. I'll do it again.

 

[Lady Bizness]

I'm looking for a font for work and as I'm browsing fonts.google.com, I noticed that they replaced the jumping fox statement with "Whereas disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted".

Thanks Google for using a sentence that removes a ton of letters thereby making the preview mostly useless. There's a feedback button on the page so I left the advice for H1Bs to get the fuck out of Milpitas.

Which brings me to another ground gear: I feel like this is the only place I can complain about this shit. People I know in real life will either dig in that we deserve whatever inconvenience it is for the sake of whatever sacred cow is being accommodated. Or, they may just cringe and end the conversation, change topics, or literally turn around and walk away. Like what, is someone listening to us here on the sidewalk Dave? Afraid of saying the wrongthink out loud?

I guarantee not one of these prescious fucks would have thought these kinds of things were good ideas if you got in a time machine and told them about it 10-15 years ago.

Oh yeah, let the homeless have their way with kids playgrounds, we deserve it for capitalism. Sure let the criminals get away with mass shoplifting, we deserve it for racism. Just go ahead and let those gross looking losers block people from getting to work, we deserve it for racism and capitalism. I wish everyone would grow a fucking spine, including myself.

 

[The Last Stand]

And to expound somewhat on this, it's stupidly easy to find Chinesium lasers powerful enough to cause permanent blindness being sold to any idiot on the internet. That description from the reporter, that it was a blue laser that lit the entire cockpit when it hit the windshield, that sounds precisely like one of those illegally-powerful lasers. If you take one of those lasers to the eye, even for a split second, it will permanently sear a blind patch onto your retina. Those things are no joke.

You're telling me that it's stupidly easy to buy those kind of lasers on the Internet, and people decide to do that shit?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Yes.

I don’t even know what an off ramp is.

Friend.

Dictionary
Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

noun
NORTH AMERICAN
noun: off-ramp; plural noun: off-ramps; noun: offramp; plural noun: offramps

1. a one-way road leading off a main highway.

Follow up to my ground gears: the next day, the little section (which, I realized later, wasn't even the off-ramp, just the "V" between the highway and the exit road!) was still closed, but they no longer had the big flashing signs. Traffic moved along perfectly at normal rates.

@Lady Bizness The Microsoft default now appears to be Aptos (change from Calibri, which I think replaced Arial or TimesNewRoman, depending on product) (Aptos Narrow in Excel, change from idr, Verdana or Arial or some garbage) unless less that's something my company did (doubt). Iirc (which I may not, fair), Calibri is heavy to embed, so maybe Aptos is lighter. What did you pick, though? I also love you correctly observed the deficits in the sample text. Love, Dorothy, Font Nerd.

 

[The Last Stand]

I'm looking for a font for work and as I'm browsing fonts.google.com, I noticed that they replaced the jumping fox statement with "Whereas disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted".

Thanks Google for using a sentence that removes a ton of letters thereby making the preview mostly useless. There's a feedback button on the page so I left the advice for H1Bs to get the fuck out of Milpitas.

You're not kidding. Here's another phrase that popped up in the preview:

No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

You can't even buy a FONT license without being lectured at. Also, I just thought of something: wouldn't illegal immigration apply to that statement? Oh wait, THAT doesn't count because it's cheap, brown labor.

This goes into a bigger thing now. The phrase "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" is a commonly used pangram because it contains every letter of the alphabet in a sentence without being obtuse. It's a great starting point for typists due to its simplicity to grasp and visualize. It's perfect for previewing text types because, again, it's short enough to quickly see how each letter would look.

It's not to teach, it's to preach.

Friend.

That "friend" sounded like you were annoyed. I apologize.

 

[Lady Bizness]

What did you pick, though?

Was making a coloring page for kids so Londrina Outline. It's got the easier to read and color lowercase "a". That's interesting about Microsoft's font change. I didn't realize that was something that someone felt needed changing.

The phrase "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" is a commonly used pangram because it contains every letter of the alphabet in a sentence without being obtuse.

Things like this drive me to doomerism. It's like everything that was established for very good reason is being dismantled with the most current issue and hysteria used as an excuse. A hundred years down the road, should civilization reemerge from the ashes of Idiocracy, someone might say, hey, wouldn't it be useful to have a short sentence that has all the letters so I can compare fonts?

 

[The Last Stand]

Londrina Outline

And kid friendly too for a coloring book.

Things like this drive me to doomerism. It's like everything that was established for very good reason is being dismantled with the most current issue and hysteria used as an excuse.

Gender, sex, basic expressions, all have to be changed and dismantled for political correctness.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

That "friend" sounded like you were annoyed. I apologize.

Nooo, not annoyed. More a fond "tsk."

 

[The Last Stand]

Nooo, not annoyed. More a fond "tsk."

I like tusks.

Thread tax: it feels like when it's raining, people forget to drive.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Oh my God, I am so fuckin’ over these washed, self-serious comics doing their fireside chats.

All of this just causes normies to double down and start lighting a Norm Macdonald memorial candle in reverence. You can't talk about any comedian any more without someone jumping in with, “Norm would’ve..."

(Also, Patrice O’Neal. Do people actually get their life coaching from a guy whose biggest insight was “Women be shopping"?)

 

[Lady Bizness]

Thread tax: it feels like when it's raining, people forget to drive.

Go fast around curves and through known potholes run lights, but stop in the middle of straight streets go 20 under on the freeway.

That's how you do it right?

 

[2mm and 99 others]

I hate smokers of all kinds.
Cigarette smokers:

I hate that many of them think, that their freedom or moral right to smoke is more important than other peoples' right or wish to breathe clean air. Every damn time I see a smoker defending their habit and form of nicotine intake, it's their self-inflicted addiction talking and yellowed fingers typed that post. You had it hard, you say? Many people have it hard and never start smoking.

 

[The Last Stand]

Remember these?

I have Subway coupons. A six inch sandwich from the coupons is $4.99. Damn.

 

[Rick The Stick]

I wish these fucking faggots who insist on setting off mortar shells and shooting their guns this late at night, and this long after the 4th, would either light a mortar and shove it up their ass or deepthroat their gun. I don't care which.

 

[pyrinyx]

Just by today alone when I was enjoying my five day vacation and out driving;

- Drivers who think they're above using turn signals, so you can't predict when they're going to change lanes or make a turn.

- Drivers who think they're oh so rebellious for speeding by and passing you in a 35MPH zone.

- Drivers who match your speed when you're trying to get into or out of an exit. Fucker, I'm TRYING to get to where I need to go, not race you!

- This stupid fucking nigger bitch, when coming home, dared to speed by me when I was setting myself up to rear park. Yes you cunt, some people do that because not all people just drive right into the spots and back out from them.

- People in the YouTube comments who want people to share a timestamp with them about particular moments in a video that everyone else is commenting about. How about watch the video, asshole? Lazy piece of shit. And what are the odds that someone has posted it anyways? That's top-tier fucking laziness.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Late stickers. Just because you already saw my meme in a Discord with nine other guys named Grug doesn't mean shit. I posted it when it was funny. Cocksuckers.