DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Big Brown Schlub]

The real issue is I don't think Phil is capable of cleaning up a crime scene and then disappearing a body. Getting rid of a corpse is a ton of work, even if you're not cutting it up it's still moving something that weighs like 250lbs.

Hiding Khet would be impossible, I don't think he'd get away with renting a forklift just to pick her dead fat ass up.

how is he supposed to afford three, four, five days of no income?

A year or two ago he claimed that not streaming for 3 days would be a disastrous situation and that he'd start being behind on bills.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Is this officially the longest unexcused break he's ever taken from streaming so far? There's definitely something going on with his personal life that's causing this absence. Usually he'll send out update tweets every now and then until he comes back, but his radio silence so far makes me think something serious happened.

Sort of. He's taken sick days before where, IIRC, he would make like one or two tweets that were similar vague posts, usually at the start of the day saying he's never been worse in his life, nobody has ever suffered as much sickness as he's feeling etc and he'll try so hard to stream to his audience because he's such a good and dedicated martyr for his fanbase. Then maybe a tweet saying he isn't streaming. I think the longest stretch of "sick days" was 3 days tops. And coincidentally, they typically (but not always) took place after a particularly large cash dump from a marathon or just a generous whale.

If he is in CT, I think radio silence makes sense due to paranoia. Detractors can't ambush him/break into the snort fort/move his shopping cart if they don't know where he is, and Phil can smugly feel superior because he'll claim nobody knew where he was. Then when people point out that everyone was guessing he was in CT, he'll claim it doesn't count because they didn't guess he planned the trip 2 months ago like with the Jasper reveal when everyone correctly guessed he had a cat.

Just because we're in extended speculation territory, I'll throw out another possibility that's honestly probably less likely than the already unlikely scenario that his mom died. Him and Khet are finally taking a honeymoon/staycation together. The only way I would see this happening is if Khet put her hoof down and demanded it. Which I guess isn't impossible, but I actually think Khet is a bigger hermit than Phil. The reason he'd vague post, besides paranoia, is that even Phil knows he can't talk about going on vacation and then immediately transition back into panic begging when he's back. Phil likes making himself out to be the world's biggest victim to justify asking for support. While he also likes to contradict this by bragging about how happy and successful he is, that's usually a spur of the moment defensive boast during a manic prestream. And if this hypothetical were correct, I can almost guarantee we'd hear a dozen times during his return prestream about how happy he is between a 90 minute explanation about the concept of a vacation, and his trip to the zoo with Khet/rest of the time in hotel was a relaxing honeymoon that mature adults take. But given they're both massive hermits and neither really cares about the sham of their marriage, it doesn't seem super likely to me.

 

[Brother Wind]

Well broke my month long detox, noticed yesterday the clippers hadn't posted since the marathon. Has he really gone fucking radio silent since the marathon?

he would make like one or two tweets that were similar vague posts, usually at the start of the day saying he's never been worse in his life, nobody has ever suffered as much sickness as he's feeling etc and he'll try so hard to stream to his audience because he's such a good and dedicated martyr for his fanbase. Then maybe a tweet saying he isn't streaming. I think the longest stretch of "sick days" was 3 days tops

Yeah, like he does this every day. Even during the wedding I don't think we had gone 24 hours in between tweets. This is fucking weird.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

I voted for CT.

The HOA would be a serious contender if he wasn't so radio silent.

His parents aren't on their death bed but I guess there's something going on with Linda guilt tripping him into staying.

I know this is puzzle piece territory but I hope she's getting back at him following the 10 year plan or not getting an honeymoon.

He needs to see at least some consequences to his actions for him to grow up.

 

[Benedryl Netanyahoo]

He needs to see at least some consequences to his actions for him to grow up.

You're right but it's never happening. We're looking at the finished product. There is no consequence that he will not spin into victimhood and claim he did nothing wrong.

I think the more appropriate way of framing is that he should see some consequences because bad things happening to him are funny and he deserves it.

 

[Philipp Amthor]

It's cool that there is more activity when Phil does nothing than when he does something stupid (exception for special occasions)

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

There should be a poll up about this, I'll throw hat in concretely say he went to CT per those pms.

 

[niggaphil]

Imagine the long DSP break is due to Kat gives birth to his child behind the scene

 

[Pargon]

Imagine the long DSP break is due to Kat gives birth to “his” child behind the scene

Imagine the long DSP break is due to Kat gives birth to his “child” behind the scene

Only two possible scenarios

 

[Lord_Point]

I feel like if by tomorrow morning theirs still no word everybody that was saying this was a nothingburger is gonna flip the switch and agree that their is something going on

WRONG! I think the longer Dave stays radio silent the more lame and underwhelming the reason will be. Our teenage drama queen complete with budding breasts cant help but vague post drama like the emotional teenage girl he is. If hes this quite it means he has nothing and probally wanted to take a week off to own the trolls and prove he could take his fat wife on a honeymoon (he didnt but he could)

 

[Crooked 16th]

It's either a kid or a death, I can't see him doing this shit for a vacation

 

[Benedryl Netanyahoo]

I can't believe how retarded some of yall niggers are thinking darksydephil might unironically have a child.

Absolute dents.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

DSP would be the only murderer dumber than chris watts

 

[Luigi Mangione]

I can't believe how retarded some of yall niggers are thinking darksydephil might unironically have a child.

Absolute dents.

To be fair, the scenario in of itself is kind of hilarious.

 

[FamicomGorby]

DSP would be the only murderer dumber than chris watts

Can't wait for Phil's interrogation footage to be showcased on EWU. He'd pigsplain his sandwich shop streaming business to the police the same way as his prestreams.

 

[BallBuster II]

I feel like if by tomorrow morning theirs still no word everybody that was saying this was a nothingburger is gonna flip the switch and agree that their is something going on

But even things that some would consider "big" would still be more or less a nothing burger in his fucked up warped little world.

One of his parents die= Nothing burger. He doesn't see them, he doesn't care about them, he sees them as a means to get some inheritance money. That's it.
Kat health issue/dies= nothing burger. In no world do they have what anyone would call a happy and healthy marriage. If she dies, he sees that as a healthy way to put a bow on what was a doomed marriage from the start. It would put him out money wise (funeral costs) but probably save him in the long run with no longer having to feed her.

Short of he himself having a major health issue that is starting to spiral out of control, the IRS knocking on his door for a juicy audit, or him getting a strike on his YT channel, anything else in his life is in fact a nothing burger.

 

[Onepumpplumpchump]

Imagine the long DSP break is due to Kat gives birth to his child behind the scene

Thats like a nightmare scenario for Phil, can you imagine him trying to cover that shit up. I wonder if he'd pull another begathon reveal like how he did with Jasper.

 

[AGoodBrazilian]

He's staying away and building up the dent support so he can come back with a stream that pulls in $3,000 in a single day, just to "prove" he can do a more successful stream than the KC collaboration.

 

[KevJ]

Did this absence happen before or after KC did a segment on him and talked about creating scarcity and being too available as a creator?

I could easily see him trying to experiment with this, while also deciding what vague pity route to take to milk upon return.

imagine if his mom actually is dying, I'm generally curious to know how he'll even take that. Most people move across country for a job or some type of opportunity. Why the f did phil do it? Just because

The lack of visits and the move, he's just a garbage ungrateful son. It'll come hit him like a brick wall when it does happen...or not cuz he's a complete sociopath

 

[ATandTism]

Throwing my speculation hat into the ring, I think one or more of the whales convinced him to take this time off. They dropped $300x however many days he planned to be gone via his sekret dentcord. I can see their dented faces now giggle as they read the thread that they are 'owning da tractors' by dropping a mortgage worth on their findom master so he can avoid doing what he hates most, playing games.

I feel this way because even Dave knows that taking this many days off will send his dolphins and other 50 bit bitches to other streamers to get their dopamine. No way he would take this time off, even if his mother kicked the bucket, without monetary 'compensation'.