💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Adamska]

So Jack is telling people to see the movie, even though they cast a black chick as a Viking? Is he becoming progressive?

He's so retarded and easily entertained that he only gets angy and says film bad if they start actively pegging on screen. Otherwise it's gud since noises happened and he ate a whole bucket of popcorn since he's too brain damaged to actually get anything else out of it.

He also is a mantoddler who wants to defend these slop factories since even as a full grown man he'd watch the shit you'd see on Nick, Disney, and Cartoon Network. He unironically fucking watched Blues Clues when his kids grew out of it before then.

So he nowadays just wants to defend these shitty cgi slopshit remakes because it was da movie he liked. He'd probably rage out and block you if you point this out.

He threw a fit when Mufasa fucking bombed, and cheered when the Stitch Remake that only cost 100 mil made money due to actually being cheap, despite how it's blatantly anti-family.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

what is that intro ive not payed attention to jack in a really long time lol

It’s called cheerful monkeys

Jack probably didn’t pay for it. $80


It’s not on the wiki. I had to search here for it. Not much on there really unless you’re obsessed with Junior.

 

[Enig]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2kSN6kfCGtY
It’s called cheerful monkeys

Jack probably didn’t pay for it. $80


It’s not on the wiki. I had to search here for it. Not much on there really unless you’re obsessed with Junior.

I really want to know how a meltbrain like Jack stumbled upon offbrand Splatoon music and chose it of all songs, it’s an almost CWC-like decision in how unfitting it really is

 

[Doctor of Autism]

He threw a fit when Mufasa fucking bombed, and cheered when the Stitch Remake that only cost 100 mil made money due to actually being cheap, despite how it's blatantly anti-family.

Not to mention acting like Disney should roll out the red carpet for him because he predicted the movie would make money.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You’d think after YEARS of doing these reviews, Tammy would consult a thesaurus or just think of other ways to describe the food. These two are so well-matched.

 

[AnOminous]

I really want to know how a meltbrain like Jack stumbled upon offbrand Splatoon music and chose it of all songs, it’s an almost CWC-like decision in how unfitting it really is

There's a reason Jack got mega-fired from his job as a shitty DJ. He was probably playing retard shit like this.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Maybe he’s referring to Glenn Greenwald? Who knows, Fatty will just post whatever random thought bubbles up to the surface of his mushbrain.

He doesn’t even know who that is. Jack’s concept of “journalist” is the person reading the 6p.m. news on the Nashville NBC affiliate.

Remember, last year during the peak election season, Jack thought that Lindsey Graham was 1. A democrat and 2. A woman.

Jack can’t even retain the name of one of the most important and visible (and most “southern”) republican senators who has been in the news cycle for three decades. But he will spit and interrupt trying to tell bad jokes the moment AOC comes up.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack will tell people to abstain from eating any ingredient they can't pronounce, then eat whatever he wants because his inability to pronounce anything correctly would lead him to starve to death if he followed his own imperatives. When I see Jack ordering people to stop eating "chemicals", I immediately picture him dictating it to Siri while his working hand takes another handful of snacks out of a giant jar labeled only with the word "chemicals", and his fat rolls spill over the arm of the sofa and leave deep, yellow stains above a small pile of dead bugs poisoned by contact with them.

The "not eating any ingredient you can't pronounce" is actually some pretty good advice to follow but it really just means don't eat anything you can't identify. Look at the ingredients of the products you're buying and the nutritional label. Simply because any ingredient you think of can be classified as a chemical. It's anything that has a defined composition and never changes. Water is a chemical.

Fatty has probably heard Charles speaking of this more than once and that's why he's all up on "chemicals bad" but he'd never be able to actually identify one. Yet he's still a consumer and fast food whore.

5:40 Whole combo review from Tammy: “I think it’s good. You should try it.”

If anything this shows that Carnivore is still a larp from him. If Hammy says he needs to try it it's because he's going to eat it later.

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

Late ik but color me surprised that Jim is not only the most well-spoken and intelligent member of thr clan, but also somehow several magnitudes less of a faggot than his two brothers. All I ever saw of him was that picture of him with his weird nipples and judged him off of that.

Anyway, can't wait for Jagg's strokebrained review on the movie, naturally poorly transcribed from his strokespeech by SIRI.

 

[the khat quaffer]

And yet he thinks himself the smartest person in the room.

Jack wouldn't be the smartest person in the room if he was alone.

CARNIVORE

View attachment 7450015
View attachment 7450018

I'd count the number of functioning arms he has.

I think political agendas to Jack are just gay stuff

View attachment 7450002

"Gay fatigue is real" you oughta know, sweetie

Soying out over fast food

View attachment 7450006
View attachment 7450007

Influencer advice

View attachment 7450010
View attachment 7450012

"Went to freddy's, no new headlines" Alright C-SPAN.

Oh my GOD who fucking cares about a burger. Who. The. Fuck. Cares. The wagies that work the grill don't even care. Freddy's fucking CEO probably doesn't even care this much about his (her? who cares) burgers. Yum Corporation doesn't even care. Jack is the living embodiment of someone that overestimates the importance of their Google Maps review of the local shitkicker gas station toilet.

Spoiler: Your average Freddy's employee when he finds out Jacko is next in line

Also Jack, you can't edit either. Editing requires two functioning arms. And a brain. You're kind of fucked on both counts. Here's your "workflow":
TAMMY MAKE BORGER, BITCH
TAMMY APPLY SOME BEST SAWZE IN THE UNIVERSE ON BORGER, BITCH
TAMMY FILM ME PUTTING BORGER IN MOUFF, BITCH
*existential crisis*
MM, MEAT GüD GüISE
SIRI INSERT RECIPE FOR VAGUE, UNRELATED BORGER
UPLOAD IT
MAKE ~$3.50 FROM DISLIKE BAR
Tomorrow: repeat

 

[Super Hans v2]

MAKE ~$3.50 FROM DISLIKE BAR

I think you forgot to factor in Jack spends about $25-$50 a video. TJ Services would be better off shutting down and Jack just farting in his couch all day.

 

[Shartavius]

TJ Services would be better off shutting down and Jack just farting in his couch all day.

This was undeniably true for that useless fat fuck years ago. The fact is, Jack's only reason for living is using UTOOB and ECKSDOTCUM to sustain the delusion that he's more than a useless fat fuck waiting to die after broadcasting and archiving his own self destruction for the world to laugh at. A guy who has never done anything gracefully in his entire, squandered life isn't going to bow out gracefully.

That's why the best we can hope for is a LIVE show where the next stroke explodes his brain stem just enough for locked-in-syndrome to leave him stuck loudly shitting and staring at a screen where the chat mocks him for forty minutes without Hammy or anyone else checking in on him until after his bloodshot eyes have crusted over from rivulets of diabetic tears that finally manage to knock some of the dandruff flakes off his 3XL kindergartener's shirt. That said, the megaturd is more likely to get a better stroke than he deserves.

 

[Aunt Carol]

That said, the megaturd is more likely to get a better stroke than he deserves.

any day now

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I wonder if fatty will pick Elon or Trump's side in the lover's quarrel

 

[abobe]

I wonder if fatty will pick Elon or Trump's side in the lover's quarrel

Elon, 100%.

 

[Adamska]

I wonder if fatty will pick Elon or Trump's side in the lover's quarrel

Depends on what his asshole brother tells him to support as well as the people he deems the Cool Kids Club.

Knowing him I'd have to agree with @abobe 's guess due to his twitter addiction.

 

[Super Hans v2]

I wonder if fatty will pick Elon or Trump's side in the lover's quarrel

Not to be sitting with a fence post up my ass, but it's a real toss up. Will Elon calling Trump a baby rapist, which explains why the Epstein Files haven't been released, excite the conspiracy theorist part of Jack's brain cell more than Elon calling Trump a baby rapist, which is just another attack on the man ordained by God to save the USA, does? Wherever Jack ends up, the only thing guaranteed is that it's for a retarded, out of left field reason that has nothing to do with anything.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Will post the tweets later but all Jack is doing is spamming "GODZILLA VS KING KONG" in regards to Trump vs Elon

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Will post the tweets later but all Jack is doing is spamming "GODZILLA VS KING KONG" in regards to Trump vs Elon

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_skR316Ag0U

Of course fatty thinks they're king kong and godzilla instead of two fat retards

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Will post the tweets later but all Jack is doing is spamming "GODZILLA VS KING KONG" in regards to Trump vs Elon

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_skR316Ag0U

In other news….jack thinks that wrasslin’ is real.

This mark doesn’t know a worked shoot Kayfabe when the Zen master of it is beating him in the head with a foam folding chair.