🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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Nick Obre said:
Medellin? Now he's getting killed for real
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I thought Medellin in particular has been doing well, but I guess it was all relative. This was among the first articles that popped up when I searched for Medellin violent crime: 29 tourist deaths trigger alarm bells in Medellín. It's safe for a Colombian city at a murder rate of 11 per 100K and safer than many ghetto shitholes in the US, but still not great.
 
break these cuffs said:
I thought Medellin in particular has been doing well, but I guess it was all relative. This was among the first articles that popped up when I searched for Medellin violent crime: 29 tourist deaths trigger alarm bells in Medellín. It's safe for a Colombian city at a murder rate of 11 per 100K and safer than many ghetto shitholes in the US, but still not great.
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Medellín is the L.A. of Colombia, not just for the things you mentioned, it's also a known hotspot for sex trafficking and child prostitution, specially for foreigners like Ralph.
 
break these cuffs said:
I thought Medellin in particular has been doing well, but I guess it was all relative. This was among the first articles that popped up when I searched for Medellin violent crime: 29 tourist deaths trigger alarm bells in Medellín. It's safe for a Colombian city at a murder rate of 11 per 100K and safer than many ghetto shitholes in the US, but still not great.
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You’re overlooking the fact Ralph is a tourist scammer’s dream with how retarded he is. All they have to do is speak a few nice words, make Ralph feel like a big man and they’re his friends.

And I hope this is going to be hilarious and a complete embarrassment for Ralph as all his huge events are known to go.
 
He couldn't even pull off a wet t-shirt contest he was hyping for Ralphamania.

Wouldn't mud wrastlin' be more on brand for The Ragepig Character, 'professional' muckraker, and booty squirt connoisseur?

Anything that happens after touchdown will be a turtle-on-a-fence-post situation. At least with the Miami stuff we had reports from the entourage about how he blew off everything planned to do drugs and fall in love with a prostitute.

RIP Ralphaphone #79 and Ralphapurse #46.
 
Ralph can't even do a live stream sober his nerves get to him. Every stream during "Sober Spring 3" he sounds alert and his speech isn't just plucking word whiskers out of a hat. As the show progresses it's looping, it's complete silence for minutes at a time.
Now he's deluded himself into thinking he won't be an anxious mess surrounded half naked 6's in an even more foreign country. I'm gonna predict the worst thing that will happen to Ralph (if he goes) is he falls and breaks his hip, or some kind of old man injury.
 
blackface enthusiast said:
He'll fold under the pressure and get too drunk/pilled out to put on a good show, should be hilarious.
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Assuming this is all real, I can't wait to see how plastered he gets without the safety of a piss bottles and a lonely, dark shack.
AncientPhosphur said:
You’re overlooking the fact Ralph is a tourist scammer’s dream with how retarded he is. All they have to do is speak a few nice words, make Ralph feel like a big man and they’re his friends.

And I hope this is going to be hilarious and a complete embarrassment for Ralph as all his huge events are known to go.
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There is a non-zero chance this is an elaborate setup for some skeevy porn company to record a sadistic rape scene. They'd let him get all excited and squeal, then have some dudes walk in. I'm envisioning Deliverance.
 
Beavis said:
Instead Ralph paid some backyard wrestlers to perform in a VFW hall. Now his grand idea is to have some prostitutes mud wrestle? I’m sure it’ll go off without a hitch.
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You forgot about how he forced Meigh to make baloney sandwiches to sell to the guests (with cans of soda and costco bought single-serving chips on the side). That whole event was top kino. Little Beardson as the referee and the cops being called like seven times, all while Ralph visibly seethed.

That was back when Raloh used to make his paypigs cover his AirBnb as the Killstream Kompound. He used to rent a house for like $500 for a few days and then offer "exclusive" packages (starting at the reasonable price of $700) for his fans to buy a bed and the opportunity to get drunk with him. This was the same trip where he got hitched to Meigh, when Rosie was born too.

Imagine paying hundreds of dollars to stay in a moldy shack in New Jersey, probably with some other bloke in the room, while nursing a terrible half-a-drunk and listening to Ethan Ralph and Amanda have gross sex in the next room over while their neglected baby wails the entire time.

Couldn't be me.
 
baddabing44 said:
Damn who would have thought Ethan Ralph would hire a bunch of Venezualan prostitutes to mud wrestle each other...

It would be wild if he survives Mexico just to be turned into chicharron in Colombia
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He's the kind of gringo anti-sex trafficking groups look for in third world countries. It wouldn't surprise me if one of them follows his stench to Ralphamania 2 and got him popped by Columbian authorities.
 
I feel like adding sex trafficker to Ralph's many accomplishments will really round him out. Put him right up there with Andrew Tate.
 
Are we gonna have a Ralph plus ELN (Ejército de Liberación Nacional) crossover? I've heard they still do kidnapping for profit over there. Wouldn't it be funny for some Colombian nigger socialist gerrilla group to kidnap him just for them to find out he has no money or people that care for him and they just fucking smoke that gringo into porkchops. this nigga gonna get organ harvested!
 
I have in my calendar that April 26th is "Guntmas Day".

I remember getting the notification for this last year too, and also being confused about what I meant by this.

Does anyone know what I meant by this? Is it the anniversary of something?
 
EyeGuy said:
Sorry, but even Colombian sex-trafficking victims aren't going to let you touch them, Ralph. You couldn't even get to first base with Pantsuela.
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This is some based Ralphamale shit. I like this Ethan better then the bum wallowing away in a tin shack falling alseep on xannies during his 12 hour Fox News watch stream.

He just needs to start getting wasted again and pig raging out at people. Ralph with no alcohol is like an angel without its wings.
 
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The only way I’ll consider Ralphamania 2 a possible success is if he blackmails / threatens / bribes DSP into going so they can do a live Smark Guys as the color commentary. Phil spends 30 minutes explaining to the audience that ticket sales really doesn’t cover his costs and that he needs direct cash if they want a chill show.
 
Trigger Me Timbers said:
I honestly feel a weird kinda anxiousness thinking about his kids reading about him. It’s weird reading about your family.
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It's really grim thinking about Rozy finding out what her father thinks of women. Like sure a lot of people eventually figure out that their absent parent was a piece of shit but the volume of publically accessible archived video and text of Ralph describing how women are worthless whores could fill a full length documentary.
 
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