- Joined
- Aug 4, 2013
In Jack's defense (can't believe I'm saying that), wasn't there a thing a few years ago with a literal gay pride parade in it? Complete with pooner otters with masectomy scars. Shit's demonic.
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
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- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
I mean, Jack's complaints about wokeness are just for the existence of gay and black people because he says other openly woke movies are not woke like Snow White. He doesn't have critical thinking skills at all
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
I completely agree with not bothering to give a direct youtube link to this beyond worthless video in this case. Fat Jack the Hack doesn't goddamn deserve a single hatewatch view or dislike to pad his metrics with something this lame.
It's all I'll even bother to say about this waste of bandwidth.
Oh no, I was referencing Treehouse of Horror by commenting that Jack was up in the attic gnawing on turkey necks like a dog as a shitpost. It's a nod to Bart's good twin Hugo. I just thought it was fitting that Jack unironically would nibble on shit like turkey necks whole or the cartilage of wings. It just reminded me of the fish heads in a bucket that he was fed.
He still is clearly food insecure, and still allegedly just ate straight turkey necks.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2024
Jack will never die, once his brains die, the salmonella colony will take over his bodily functions
biggacracka
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Don't forget that the only thing Jack's mom left him as a legacy was a glass Pyrex pan. The one he used in the party cheese salad if I remember correctly.
Well, she apparently also left him a large metal pot, that he used to make pasta or something in once on video.
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
Jack's mother appeared on camera a few times that I know of, and each time she honestly seemed to detest her son.
Mama Scalfani Probably Hated Jack
- Once she was in the supermarket with him, being pushed in a wheelchair by Jack's step-father. I've seen this video a couple times but can't find it now, argh. She was visibly annoyed with him, completely unamused, and asked him to stop filming her but he wouldn't (which he thought was so funny).
- Another time was here: Jack filmed a birthday dinner for Tammy at a restaurant called Maggiano's, which was attended by a real who's who of the lore. I'd recommend watching the whole video because it's short and pretty remarkable. You see Garrett and Junior together, which is rare. You see Jack's step-father, whom he calls Dad. A wild Tammy Friend also appears, never to be seen again (probably due to the embarrassment of this encounter).
And you see Jack antagonizing his mother -- whom he strongly favors in the face -- from the start. She says, "Get me off that" multiple times to him once he reveals he's filming her, he ignores her request, and it only gets worse from there, culminating in Jack filming his mom as she sits at the head of table, pretending to squish her head between his fingers (TS 2:10). He goes, "Squiiiiiish, squish, squish, squish," as she gets more and more upset, so he lies to her by saying he has stopped filming. The children are amused by this, because they're children. The waitress smiles nervously and flees. Tammy Friend starts drinking. Garrett, the only person who calls out what Jack is doing, tells his father he is currently being "retarded" in a hushed tone, and when Jack says no he isn't, Garrett insists, yes, you are.
Altogether it is 3.6 roentgen on the cringe-o-meter, and the cringe-o-meter only goes that high.
- Mama Scalfani also made at least one audio appearance: In a very early Jack, he phones his mother for advice on how to make a tomato salad with olive oil and water (lol). She gives him some measurements but basically, as any mama or nonna or wizened recipe-holder would for a non-baking matter, tells him to eyeball it and not be dumb. She gets annoyed with him in about one minute, a Guinness record for phone calls that begin with a recipe question; Jack mocks her for ... talking? to answer his question? ... by doing the "yapping" thing with his hands; and he proves once again he thinks it gives him personality or makes him interesting when he does not honor someone's explicit request to not put them in a video. (Being an asshole isn't cute or funny. Most people figure this out in their teens. Not Jack.)
All of that said, I don't think Jack was raised in a loving home. How he and his mother interacted on camera points to that, of course, but it's also hard to ignore how shitty Jack's own parenting was.
It's not a hard and fast rule, but people tend to parent the way they were parented -- it takes a sincere critical thinker to be the opposite of your "model," and Jack is not that. So if his mom raised him the way he raised his sons, then she was hypercritical and excuse-making when it came to her children's behavior; hated it when they expressed opinions that were different from her own; never taught them useful skills (Jack didn't teach Junior how to ride a bike, and has given various reasons [see: lies] as to why he didn't); and was liable to become physically violent.
That combination would give any kid a complex. So for me it's not a coincidence both Jack and Charles turned out the same way. Lords of their own fantasy empires. Always blustering to mask their insecurity. Persecuted members of the intelligentsia.
But the biggest clue Jack's childhood sucked is how insistent he is that it didn't. If you watch enough livestreams, it's inevitable you'll hear him say how "cool" his mom was. I am too lazy to source this right now, but I've read this is something typical of adult children who were raised badly, and that it's especially true for sons and mothers. The sons are almost magnetically drawn to describing their mothers as "nice," for example, even though when prodded by a professional they give details that make it obvious they were poorly parented. It's just that it can feel blasphemous for a man to badmouth his mother, and no one wants to imagine themselves as 'someone who didn't have a happy childhood.'
One example Jack gave to prove he had "such a cool mom" was the tradition she started of putting a cardboard box out on Christmas morning, so she could give away all the gifts her sons didn't like. Maybe that's a cool idea in theory but in practice (IMO) it's somewhere between kind of sad and highly fucked up. Just hard for me not to read that move as preemptively resentful... feels like turning the most special day of the year for kids into an audit session.
Hungry Homeless Handjob
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2021
Too lazy to write up the livestream but Jack just got triggered by someone saying the term "dwarf" is offensive. He's mad because "no one gives a shit" when people said all white men are racist.
He also just claimed that he used to be represented by "the same management company as Epic Meal Time" but that he got rid of them when they "didn't do anything they were supposed to."
Jack drops some lore about his first marriage. He says that on their honeymoon, they were on a ship and got seasick, and when his wife puked he all of a sudden felt better because he was helping her hold a bag of vomit. He ties this into his attempts to mentor smaller content creators, which I think is actually a great metaphor for how he's helped his collaborators.
He also just claimed that he used to be represented by "the same management company as Epic Meal Time" but that he got rid of them when they "didn't do anything they were supposed to."
Jack drops some lore about his first marriage. He says that on their honeymoon, they were on a ship and got seasick, and when his wife puked he all of a sudden felt better because he was helping her hold a bag of vomit. He ties this into his attempts to mentor smaller content creators, which I think is actually a great metaphor for how he's helped his collaborators.
biggacracka
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
That's Jackanese for "They weren't yesmen telling me I do every thing perfectly"
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Just how Jesus would want fatty to act
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Also Guga seems like the kind of guy you could hang out with and just have a good time. You'd also be sure to get some pretty good food in the process.
Fatty on the other hand would be a punishment to spend any time with.
He's said on more than one occasion that unless he's full he doesn't feel like he's eaten enough.
In other words he always overeats which is why he considers an entire rotisserie chicken to be a meal.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
And yet Jack would lose his shit if someone called him a dwarf, which he is, in addition to a lardball and an effete manlet.
To add onto this, I believe he said unless he "physically feels full" he doesn't feel like he's eaten enough.
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
If only he interprets his scripture the way he does his food.
Without leaving any bits behind.
That looks revolting.
What's the brand of rope? I need to hang a few wrecking balls.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
He's so obnoxious and oblivious of how obnoxious he is.
Jack was the stain of the family. Mama Scalfani fed her other sons food, and Jack got the bucket of chicken necks.
Point of order, Jack does not eat until he is full, he eats until it hurts. That's full for Jack.
Jack's mom giving their Christmas gifts away makes a lot of sense. Jack is like a poorly trained dog because he is a poorly trained dog.
Point of order, Jack does not eat until he is full, he eats until it hurts. That's full for Jack.
Jack's mom giving their Christmas gifts away makes a lot of sense. Jack is like a poorly trained dog because he is a poorly trained dog.
Do we know how tall his brothers are? Fatty himself is under 5'6(I still think closer to 5'4" based on him waddling past that fan at that event he went to). What if Mama Scalfani actually treated him like a runt because he was?
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
He was the milkman's kid and Papa Scalfani treated him poorly so Mama Scalfani just gave him food to shut him up.