ElephantAdventurous9
But … it’s 2025. What I mean by that is , why be concerned about a trans guy in a room with cis guys ? Would they do the same if one of the cis boys was homosexual? See my drift ? Minor or not how can you single one individually out for that reason
[–]Naelin
One word answers both questions: pregnancy.
[–]ElephantAdventurous9
Ohh so the issue isn’t minors engaging in sexual activities on a literal school trip , but Now schools care about pregnancy? ( the spice I have isn’t towards you or op , it’s to the lack of common sense and clear boundaries set for trans folk and not cis) hm….. very interesting. They didn’t seem to give a hoot about cis minors who become pregnant….. I mean you’re gonna look at me and tell me it’s fear of pregnancy and not some way to invalidate this young man?
[–]Naelin
Both and also neither. It's not validation nor pregnancy, it is, again, liability. It's who receives the blame, not what blame there is.
I was not out when I was in the same situation, but there was no more space in the girls' cabins, there was extra space in the boys' cabins, and the one occupied by all my friends happened to have free space. I had an older girl vouching for me to go to my friend's cabin. I mentioned not being heterosexual.
They preferred I slept in a tent in uneven terrain with two girls who very much didn't want me there (because I was the only one that didn't smoke pot so I was ruining their fun) rather than risk having a cabin with mixed sexes. See, if I somehow managed to take a boy with me into a bathroom to have sex and got pregnant, it would have been on me. If a teacher put me in a cabin with boys and I got pregnant, it would have been on the teacher for their terrible decision making. They are the adult in charge and should have known better, etc etc.
And this was not in USA, in a very progressive school, and not in the current political situation (heck I received a lot of what would nowadays be called blatant transphobia from teachers who were cool as heck but just ignorant)
Teachers are employers that are already in a pretty vulnerable situation and want to avoid angry parents sending them more death threats, and (private) schools are profit-driven businesses that don't give a shit about accommodating the trans guy.
But more than that, more than all of that... OP is 17 and the institutional mentality of most schools is that minors don't deserve voice or consideration. Social mentality is also that a minor's gender identity and sexuality are not serious. OP is 17 and therefore in this situation he (and not the person who complained) will always be the one assumed to be making a huge deal out of nothing.
[–]ElephantAdventurous9
I’m not saying to make a big deal out of it and I understand , in a way I’m agreeing to what you’re saying but even if two minors engage in consensual sexual activity that is statutory Grape. regardless of gender or sex and consent or not it’s gRape, or at least where I’m located that’s how that is. And that’s also something that the school would have to be worried about right ? And also I’m sorry you dealt with that, this is why schools need better resources and education to handle situations better so people literally don’t have deal with that bs
[–]javatimes- T 2006 Top 2018, 40<me
But if he and his parents are ok with it, the school shouldn’t get involved. There’s no reason to protect a 17 year old from some imagined problem.
[–]Naelin
(Again, not saying it's fair or ok)
They have plenty of reason, especially if they are in the USA. The parents are not the problem. "What if we ignore the person that complained and they make a huge media scandal and a bunch of parents pull their kids out of the school?" is the problem. The school doesn't care about OP nowhere near as much as it cares about liability.
[–]javatimes- T 2006 Top 2018, 40<me
Liability for what?
[–]Naelin
Teen pregnancy, as u/oldmannathan- said, but also losing income because of a PR situation if the complaining person makes a huge thing of it, especially in a time and place where it is so easy to make a huge thing out of a trans person being allowed to exist in the same place as others.
Someone else also mentioned in this comment that there is an executive order that risks the school losing federal funding if they allow OP to use any facilities assigned to males.
[–]OldManNathan-
Liability of teen pregnancy.
[–]javatimes- T 2006 Top 2018, 40<me
But if it’s a third party and OP’s parents are ok with it…. ???
