💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

[Catgirl Tyranid]

The best timeline would be the grandparents snatching up the kids, leaving all the money to them and leaving Nick and Kayla with nothing.

The best timeline is a dramatic Saul to Paul conversion, but Nick isn't a zealot. He's just a selfish asshole so I don't see it happening.

 

[Peace Through Power]

Damn, I didn't know both Nick and Kayla had millionaires for parents, with Kayla coming from an especially mega rich family. Makes me wonder how a guy like Nick was able to sweep her up when she was still young and full of options.

Anyway, it seem if both their parents are so wealthy then it's pretty much impossible that this story ends with Nick financially ruined. The worst that can happen to him is that he is made to live off a broad allowance waiting for his or Kayla's parents to die so he can be rich again. It's actually incredible to me how Nick can have a million safetynets and golden parachutes laid out for him and still be such a hopeless fucking disaster. Literally every problem he has is self-done. He could unplug from the internet, live off his mother-in-laws teet and live comfortable not lifting a finger till the day he dies.

If he wanted to live like a degenerate with a second wife, swinging and doing drugs he could've done so in private with the insane amount of money he's leeching from his and Kayla's parents. I genuinely don't understand how he let it come to this point.

Nick's mother, Celeste, is the rich one.
@anionfarflung has the full breakdown on his profile

 

[repentance]

Has Balldo even ever seen the clips of himself acting like he does when he's on massive amounts of drugs?

How does anyone look at a clip of himself doing these deranged, mentally diseased facial expressions and not realize he has a serious problem? Can you imagine waking up after a bad night, and somehow someone got video of you looking like a brain-damaged gurning lunatic, and you didn't immediately seek rehab?

A surprising amount of streamers don't seem to watch their streams, especially the ones who produce long form content. It's one reason the quality of their streams never improves.

 

[Burd Turglar]

But laughing at them keeps them up at night, pacing the house.

So does cocaine.

 

[Burt Macklin]

In reality, nobody gives much of a fuck anyway. Everyone has caseloads that are far too big, so even if such conditions exist, nobody observes them. You're probably never seeing your probation/parole officer more than once unless you're a serial killer or baby rapist.

Sad to say but had he gotten a DUI it would have been better for him. He would have pled it down, and to get it expunged take "anti-drug/drinking classes" at a "rich people's out-patient program" that could've had him re-access his "way of life" maybe a little quicker. With charges being cocaine, it's so drawn out and a waste of time.

If Nick had pled out at the outset (or taken an outright diversion) this would almost certainly be the case. He might have had completely unsupervised probation, no testing, no nothing, and the only time he'd even see his PO would be the first intake meeting. Even most "supervised" probation for minor drug cases is so lax it might as well be unsupervised.

Agree, which is why he'll probably eventually get a DUI with lax probation/no supervision. Retard can't afford a driver and Kayla's to drugged out on pills and Star Trek. My prediction is he will get a DUI either this year or in 2026. Tick tock.

"Sipping." He was guzzling that hooch like a homeless bum chokes down a whole bottle of Old Crow in one gulp. He might have been just drinking plastic bottle bottom shelf bum liquor for how he wasted it. And then he'd lick the bottle like it was a Jamaican dick.

He was just refilling it with Philadelphia Blended Whiskey or some cheap $10 handle you find at your local VA bar, but acts like he spends all this money on high class whiskey. No one in their right mind takes shots of $300 whiskey.

The best timeline would be the grandparents snatching up the kids, leaving all the money to them and leaving Nick and Kayla with nothing.

The best timeline is a dramatic Saul to Paul conversion, but Nick isn't a zealot. He's just a selfish asshole so I don't see it happening.

You're all wrong. The best timeline is he dies in 6 months stage 4 liver failure or liver cancer. God taking the reigns and saying FUCK YOU NICK!

 

[AnOminous]

I genuinely don't understand how he let it come to this point.

As the late great Rick James, someone who knew, once said: "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

He was just refilling it with Philadelphia Blended Whiskey or some cheap $10 handle you find at your local VA bar, but acts like he spends all this money on high class whiskey. No one in their right mind takes shots of $300 whiskey.

He paid $60,000 for a shitty Joker painting. He was definitely actually blowing all that money because he is a wigger rich dude who thinks spending more money means what he's getting is better. Also he opened many of them on stream.

A surprising amount of streamers don't seem to watch their streams, especially the ones who produce long form content. It's one reason the quality of their streams never improves.

He obsessively reads his own thread, though, and freaks out about Elissa Clips and the like. So he's actually seen the "greatest hits" of his deranged cocaine frenzies, even if he's only looked at animated gifs and the multiple balldojak collections. Does he think they're deepfakes or something?

Maybe Nick's just too wetbrained to understand that the vast majority of people who have an opinion on him view him as these balldojak type images. I wonder what would happen if that ever penetrated his water-filled skull?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

it's pretty much impossible that this story ends with Nick financially ruined. The worst that can happen to him is that he is made to live off a broad allowance waiting for his or Kayla's parents to die so he can be rich again. It's actually incredible to me how Nick can have a million safetynets and golden parachutes laid out for him and still be such a hopeless fucking disaster. Literally every problem he has is self-done. He could unplug from the internet, live off his mother-in-laws teet and live comfortable not lifting a finger till the day he dies.

If he wanted to live like a degenerate with a second wife, swinging and doing drugs he could've done so in private with the insane amount of money he's leeching from his and Kayla's parents. I genuinely don't understand how he let it come to this point.

He will never be destitute. One day he will be exceptionally rich (far richer than would live as he does/ has, for sure).

It's never been about that.

It's about someone - someone who knowingly* and willingly put themselves out there - puffed up their own mitre-hatted head, believed the hype, and streamed a live show of Proverbs 16:18.

* I don't just mean knew he was doing it, but someone who knew all of what "it" entailed.

Specifically, someone who had zero reason to do any of it - but did it, does it, and triples down on it daily.

Nick's hubris is easy to observe without guilt because he will never, ever have to worry about a thing. Oh, I'm sure he's had some sleepless nights (and I don't just mean the coke-filled ones), but he has, at bottom, loved it, even with hardships of driving his own kids around when that bitch of a nanny fucked off.

But at the end of the day, he has a certain future at a level of security 99.99% of people will never have - with money, a wife to grow old and forget this unfortunate moment with, enabling parents, and 5 kids (odds are some of them will still love him).

He will always have the LAWPOPE license plate he can point to to remind himself he was a "star" so important and disruptive that an entire county government schemed to persecute him - but that he fought the law and ended in at least a draw. He will always know he pulled a 20-something Minnesota 6 [side note: don't agree with that assessment, but it's funny] who begged him in all her broken glory to be with her, and he will believe he made the noble choice...and will frequently replay what he can remember of their sexcapades.

He will remain in his mind an iconoclast, like Jesus before him, and a Biblical and legal scholar too clever to be understood by the envious prudes of Scandinavian origin and the petty, two-faced lawtubers who left him in his hour of need.

He will take comfort in the arc of his self-told story of a nerd-made-Hot-Topic-badass who pulled himself up (bootstraps!) from Section 8 ghetto denizen to skinny legend, and will fondly recall attending his sultry summer VIP soirees with famous gimmick artists and the hot side piece on his arm and under his desk.

So, of all the cows, Nick and his unearned protection against real consequences for his actions is the least troubling to observe or to mock. He is the gift of guiltless contempt and amusement. Every opportunity and obligation to Do Good, and no interest in it.

The worst Nick has suffered is embarrassment and exposure, and a minor threat of losing his possessions aka family, blunted by the one wise choice he made in his personal context (choosing a wife with a poor sense of self). And though the criticism and exposure may sting for a midwit narcissist, it's an outcome of his own making, and it will provide him fodder for heroic stories for years. So all in all, pretty good.

With any luck, he will cleave to what has worked so well so far.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

As the late great Rick James, someone who knew, once said: "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

He paid $60,000 for a shitty Joker painting. He was definitely actually blowing all that money because he is a wigger rich dude who thinks spending more money means what he's getting is better. Also he opened many of them on stream.

You may think you think Nick is a retard, but you don't think it enough. He wouldn't be in foreclosure and losing both houses if he weren't.

Think of all the horrible purchasing decisions we know about: the Balldomobile, the shitty paintings, allegedly hookers, the cocaine, the overpriced whisky he can't actually taste, the tablets, the graphics cards, and the private underwear parties at the Gay90s to recapture his best birthday ever.

Now think of all the insane purchase we DON'T know about.

 

[AnOminous]

He will never be destitute. One day he will be exceptionally rich (far richer than would live as he does/ has, for sure).

People worth more than he ever was have ended up destitute. Lowtax similarly had rich parents and access to a few million at some point, and ended up eating the business end of a handgun in a dank basement apartment.

Really he's already only not destitute due to the sufferance of his parents. All he has to do is alienate one or two more people and he's living in that Lowtax shithole and on Ethan Ralph levels of dire poverty. Maybe they're mega-suckers who really will let him deplete the entire family's finances, but if he ever makes it an issue of choosing between their grandkids and him?

I'm pretty sure he's the one getting fucked. He has no source of income, no means of getting one, and has burned any hopes of a professional career in the one field he has at least paper qualifications in to the ground.

Maybe he won't be living in a van down by the river levels of destitute but his future is dire.

With any luck, he will cleave to what has worked so well so far.

I think exactly the same thing, but I am using the other sense of "cleave," one of my favorite Janus words. And without the preposition.

 

[john marston]

Nick still doesn't understand why lawyers won't work for free

I don't think this should even be dignified with a response.

did it all for the family

He really is a such a compulsive liar. On the one hand, he wants to argue that he can't stream because muh kids, but on the other hand, he has time to host orgies with the Imholtes and get tattoos with his hotwife. Nothing Rekieta says should ever be trusted.

I AM NOT CRAZY! I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Nicky! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Nicky! Couldn't be precious Nicky! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-

 

[Mr. Manchester]

He paid $60,000 for a shitty Joker painting.

That may be true however as any expert in the art world knows, prices can be very volatile. What I'm saying is that my offer of $75 in cold hard cash is one hell of an opportunity. Nick could super chat the fat pedophile Patrick Melton at least three times slinging around that kind of dough.

Think about it Nick my boy! This once in a life time offer won't be on the table forever!

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Nick has been a drug addict far longer than his access to cocaine. Don’t forget that. My bet is that beyond just doctor shopping for Kayla’s happy pills, he likely did it for provigil and other shit.

I don’t think Nick is a narcoleptic due to anything other than poor life choices.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

He will never be destitute. One day he will be exceptionally rich (far richer than would live as he does/ has, for sure).

After 7k thread pages, one thing I've learned is to never underestimate Rekieta's ability to fuck things up.

He has every opportunity to turn the tables in his life. But can he? Will he? I can't say for certain anymore.

He finds the most amusing ways to fuck things up, which makes him a great cow. I hope for many corn harvests in the future!

 

[Folgers Can]

They make all the decisions for their minor children. They gifted their property to the trust. They would have to sue themselves (parents suing the trust on behalf of minor children) to recover anything. Children don't have standing here. There is no authority or "powers that be" with standing to sue them.

The "Robert Lord Trust" is not the only trust, this one is Nick's and Kayla's (As Trustees) and it owns the house.
It has nothing to do with trustfund money for the kids or any other stuff. ...
Please stop spinning these wild stories about how "Nick ruined the trustfund for the kids".

The trust that owns the house doesn't appear to be for the children. Nick and Kayla created the trust for themselves. ...
I don't see how the kids can have standing for the house trust unless they are beneficiaries either before or after it was created.
Happy to be wrong on this. Has anyone info that the children were beneficiaries of the house trust?

FWIW there has been past discussion here about Nick having explained that although he created the Robert Lord trust owning the main house, and although he and Kayla are its trustees of record, their underlying intent in creating the trust was so that the children would be provided for. If that is the case, then it's not a stretch to suppose that the children are, or are at least among, named beneficiaries who would have standing to assert fiduciary breach by any trustee raiding the trust corpus for personal gain. The only obstacle is the wait to reach age of majority, until which time the means of trust enforcement would be for Kayla, in her capacity as a co-trustee and/or in her capacity as a parent of minor beneficiaries, to grow a spine and sue Nick on their behalf or at least trigger statutory appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem for that purpose:

CHAPTER 501C. TRUSTS ...
501C.0303 REPRESENTATION BY FIDUCIARIES AND PARENTS. ...
(3) a trustee may represent and bind the beneficiaries of the trust; ...
(5) a parent may represent and bind the parent's minor or unborn child if a conservator for the child has not been appointed. ...
(b) If a disagreement arises between parents seeking to represent the same minor child: ...
(4) if neither parent is a beneficiary or a lineal descendent of the settlor of the trust that is the subject of the representation, a guardian ad litem must be appointed to represent the minor child.
Minn. Stat. § 501C.0303

Anyway, after trying every pertinent search ITT and on Filmot I'm still not finding the specific clip where Nick discussed the specific purpose of the trust, but below is the only post I could find recalling it:

Nick discussed the house long before any of this happened and his explanation then is consistent with his explanation now. Trusts are created for many different reasons and this one was created specifically to protect the interests of the children and take the house out of the marital asset pool in the event of a future divorce.

@repentance: do you remember anything else about what he was talking about around that time that could make a clip easier to search for?

 

[Chazzed Up]

Frankly it's bizarre that he has so little insight into or care about how people online see him (fans and detractors alike) that he doesn't see a problem with this bizarre cope. Ralph lives alone and he still copes to his paypigs about how he's getting clean or only briefly fell off the wagon or only took a small part of one pill in the morning because he knows they want a decent show.

I think because being in control or some kind of puppetmaster is an integral part of Nick's narc self-image. Ralph can admit to abusing substances because doesn't really seem like he has any complex about it.

The worst that can happen to him is that he is made to live off a broad allowance waiting for his or Kayla's parents to die so he can be rich again.

Nick exceeded his allowance of broads already, especially if we include Aaron in that number.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

So Nick did mountains of cocaine for his wife and kids?

 

[Owlbear]

Those are cases where the child earned the money. Not gifts given to them by the parents. Imagine the legal nightmare of children suing their parents because they believed their inheritance should be higher.

I believe that you are incorrect on this in a legal-theoretical sense. They are still trustees who still have a fiduciary duty to the beneficiaries, regardless of how the trust was set up. As a practical matter, it's a revocable trust and it's a gift from the parents, so suing will be tough. However, when you create that trust, you do create a responsibility to not mis-manage it.

My impression, given the timing of the mortgage, was that the mortgage was intended for some remodeling which would have added value to the house and thereby be straightforwardly in the interests of the beneficiaries. However, that mortgage appears to have gone toward legal bills and cocaine.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

People worth more than he ever was have ended up destitute. Lowtax similarly had rich parents and access to a few million at some point, and ended up eating the business end of a handgun in a dank basement apartment.

Even if his parents decide to set up largely generation-skipping* scenarios, he'll have more than a few million.

*And based on their general indulgence and ineffective efforts (if any) to have him on the straight and narrow, I doubt they will skip him (which I wouldn't do, either, tbh; I might put tighter reins on a known ne'er-do-well, but if I had 9 figures to distribute (I do not :-(((( ), my children would be living well, pretty much unless they tried to kill me or someone else).

Really he's already only not destitute due to the sufferance of his parents.

Right. That was my point. He can be as big a fuck up as...Nick Rekieta and still never truly worry, bc mum & dad & money.

All he has to do is alienate one or two more people and he's living in that Lowtax shithole and on Ethan Ralph levels of dire poverty. Maybe they're mega-suckers who really will let him deplete the entire family's finances, but if he ever makes it an issue of choosing between their grandkids and him?

They could give him $20M and say blow it, we don't care, and the family finances will still be enormous. They will put some bounds on his as ability to ruin everyone.

But also, one of the reasons that, as a parent, the prospect of losing your money is terrifying is that you hope and pray and don't sleep and run yourself into the ground is not only to provide opportunities and comfort for your children, but also that you hope to be able to leave them something that will make their lives easier or allow them to thrive or live with less worry themselves.

Nick will NEVER have to worry about the financial future of his children. That's HUGE. Even if he's sleeping on dirt, they will not (unless those apples stay close to his tree).

And it's not just oh, the kids will each have school paid for at Saint Cloud State by indulgent grandma, or even one million dollars. They will have multiple millions. And if any of them has a clue and isn't mired in Nick's midwit and bad-taste world, this will mean all kinds of opportunities for them. Schools, jobs, society, mate pool, security for them and any of their kids; everything.

I'm pretty sure he's the one getting fucked. He has no source of income, no means of getting one, and has burned any hopes of a professional career in the one field he has at least paper qualifications in to the ground.

Maybe he won't be living in a van down by the river levels of destitute but his future is dire.

For sure, he could and should be better. But imagine there was no family money. The psychic weight of failing and having literally nothing, vs the psychic weight of failing and having 8+ figures' backstop, with or without strings. Can't compare. (I mean, I love Succession, but not being chosen for CEO or being able to outfox your father yet still being worth ungodly sums is unpitiable compared to screwing up and winding up bagging groceries and living on dented tins of Spam at 85 years old.)

Nick has everything. Maybe his parents are temporarily teaching him a lesson, but as he said, he's not worried about being homeless, ackshually.

He's not worried. This is a temporary and temporarily annoying moment in his life. Ego hit mayyybe, but otherwise, he's just fine.

I think exactly the same thing, but I am using the other sense of "cleave," one of my favorite Janus words. And without the preposition.

Well, I was meaning "with any luck for amused observers," aka he'll keep doing all the dumb things...but 1) +1000 for "Janus words," but 2) what's he going to cleave?

 

[Desktop User2]

Really he's already only not destitute due to the sufferance of his parents. All he has to do is alienate one or two more people and he's living in that Lowtax shithole and on Ethan Ralph levels of dire poverty. Maybe they're mega-suckers who really will let him deplete the entire family's finances, but if he ever makes it an issue of choosing between their grandkids and him?

If he was a normal person and they had full access to the trust money, he could become just a full time parent - he doesnt seem to care about his career anyway - and I bet his mother would make him secured forever; the issue is he seems to hate being a full time parent and whine like a faggot doing the minimal required.

 

[Rick Nekieta]

My impression, given the timing of the mortgage, was that the mortgage was intended for some remodeling which would have added value to the house and thereby be straightforwardly in the interests of the beneficiaries. However, that mortgage appears to have gone toward legal bills and cocaine.

Except they not only failed to raise the property value (and I'm not certain a room designed for a St. Andrew's cross raises general appeal), they actively diminished it with severe misuse and neglect. This is even taking the drug damage out of the equation.