What is the most autistic religion? - True worth determination

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AMHOLIO

AMHOLIO

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YHWH's Strongest Soldier said:
That's why Judaism is the perfect religion. It is profoundly autistic at its core and it was perfected by generations of autists.
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What is the most autistic religion or religious sects? Can someone out autism the Jews?

Edit:
I'm looking for more traditional religions, but religions founded within the last 100 years are fine too. If it is something like Scientology, compare it to other new age peers - new age religions we tend to see as inherently autistic, especially if they are more on the sci-fi and fantasy side.

Alternatively, argue which religion(s) is/are the least autistic.
 
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Could the Pythagorean Cult be in the running for the title? It's not really around anymore but the people who adhered to that were obsessed with math on a spiritual level.
 
Tablet County said:
It's better to be cold than lukewarm.
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It's not a matter of better, but a matter of autism. To admit you don't know anything is less autistic than looking at the whole universe and going "heh, yeah, there's no rhyme or reason to ANY of this. I'm going to go watch cartoons made for children." My reasoning boils down to the second being averse to change, and being highly opinionated as a result of someone else probably just saying to them "God isn't real"
 
Any religion that has a tradition of text-based disputation or a monastic tradition has elements of autism. It would be easier to argue which is the least autistic religion rather than the most.
 
Islam is made right for inbred spergs, whose abundant existence is inevitable within its system. It has some useful rules the believers would sometimes be completely lost without, like this one.

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Updated OP to broaded the topic and suggest to keep new weird religions in their own camp for autism comparison's sake.
 
Orthodox Judaism. Hands down. Utterly ridiculous Shabbat rules to get around the whole "no work" thing for those days.
  • No carrying anything outside of the home unless the property is surrounded by a wall or fence. So they put wires around town to be a "wall".
  • No "building or extinguishing a fire", so everything electronic has to be setup in such a way that you can't turn it on or off that day. Light switches will make it "random" whether they work or not, thus absolving them of guilt.
  • Can't tell the shabbos goy directly to turn a light on or off, so they have to be all "oy vey it sure is dark in here" so the goy knows that they want the light turned on.
  • No cooking allowed. You CAN warm food in a pre-heated oven, but it must only be warming pre-heated dishes, and no additional cooking must happen. To make tea you have to pour the hot water into another cup to make it "cooler" so you can add the tea bag without "cooking" it.
  • Can't do any form of sorting work. No picking out bad berries from a bunch or removing bones from your fish. But you CAN pick out the good ones and LEAVE the bad ones. And gefilte fish is already de-boned, so that's fine on Shabbat.
  • Since you can't build or extinguish a fire on Shabbat, you can't fight a building fire unless there is reason to believe someone is in danger. If your house catches fire with nobody inside on Shabbat, you have to just let it burn unless there's a goy nearby who can call the fire department.

But they apparently have some ridiculous daily rules as well...
  • Can't walk more than 6 feet after waking up until you wash your hands with water prepared by your bed the night before.
  • Must say a blessing after using the restroom in addition to washing hands.
  • Can't eat dairy after eating chicken unless at least 6 hours have passed
  • No music allowed unless it was produced by jews, or has a jewish lesson in it (make grug think, no?)
  • Men may not listen to women singing
  • No touching or even shaking hands with the opposite sex
  • Separate dishes for meat and dairy. If a utensil is used with the wrong food it must be made kosher by dipping in boiling water. But if a utensil cannot be made kosher, it must be thrown away or given to a goy.
  • Boys and girls must not interact with one another past age 9 until marriage.
  • Can only have sex when a woman is ritually "pure." When she is impure (during her period and 7 days after) couples aren't allowed to touch each other or even hand things to each other (including a baby).
  • Rabbis will check the woman's underwear and evaluate the vaginal discharge to determine whether or not she is "pure" or "impure."
  • Sex must be done in complete darkness.
  • Many are told to think holy thoughts during sex so their children will be born holy.
  • Taught to do complex math or other distracting thoughts when using the restroom so as to "not think about G-d during an immodest time."
  • "No work" extends to things like tearing paper. Meaning no tearing toilet paper. Gotta use pre-cut sheets only.
  • You can tear open a package if it contains food, but you have to make sure you try not to tear through the text (as that would run afoul of no writing or erasing).

And that's just the tip of the ice(((berg))).
 
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