🍗 Deathfat Corissa Enneking / fatgirlflow and Juliana "J" Aprileo / comfyfattravels - Delusional fat-acceptance lesbian couple, junk-food addicts with expensive taste, denied a mortgage due to excessive Doordash ordering

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When will Juliana become bedbound? As of January 2022

  • Within 3 months

    Votes: 33 4.2%

  • Within 6 months

    Votes: 118 15.1%

  • Within a year

    Votes: 209 26.7%

  • Within 3 years

    Votes: 144 18.4%

  • Never

    Votes: 26 3.3%

  • Shes already there

    Votes: 254 32.4%
  • Total voters
    784
Tell me you've never interacted with men without telling me you've never interacted with men. The amount of guys who own sneakers upon sneakers upon moccasins upon business shoes etc. would laugh right at her if they could come close enough without retching from her stench.

Also the only way she'll ever end up into an operating theatre will be exclusively in case of extreme emergency - that is if the emergency crew ever manage to rip her off of her sofa. Play stupid games win stupid prizes, Juliana.
 
Narwhal said:
that is if the emergency crew ever manage to rip her off of her sofa
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Perhaps that’s Juliana’s true calling, that her eventual sofa fusion will lead to a medical breakthrough— the first couch cum hospital bed.

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Of peeling gangrenous skin from that microfiber lounger? No need to schlep your bariatric case to the nearest ER. Now you can breeze your way through cardiac resuscitation with the Dr. SofaKing BigBed— so fucking big, so fucking (a) bed*.

Our steel-framed sofabed is made from soft yet durable memory foam— the same technology developed by the scientists at NASA for space shuttle landings! With a reinforced undercarriage storage system complete with 1000v battery (to handle even the toughest defib needs), waste disposal system and mini fridge, you will save on those lengthy hospital stays as you and your Dr. SofaKing slowly merge into one.

[obligatory celebrity endorsement]
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*The name is a placeholder as we workshop through other ideas.
 
Narwhal said:
Tell me you've never interacted with men without telling me you've never interacted with men. The amount of guys who own sneakers upon sneakers upon moccasins upon business shoes etc. would laugh right at her if they could come close enough without retching from her stench.

Also the only way she'll ever end up into an operating theatre will be exclusively in case of extreme emergency - that is if the emergency crew ever manage to rip her off of her sofa. Play stupid games win stupid prizes, Juliana.
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Would they even attempt some sort of emergency unplanned surgery on her? Imagine how overwhelming that would be for the doctors. Say if she were in a car accident and had internal bleeding, omg would they even know where to start? Or would they just shut the blinds and sit and look at their phones til she dies? I’m sure they’d try lol but God what a monumental task!
 
Good for Coco. One of the best treatments for diabetes is exercise. Ten minutes a day, three times a day, five days a week - 150 minutes of exercise, which is the recommended amount. She won't even see weight loss at that amount, but she'll feel a lot better.

I doubt she'll stick with it long enough to see that result though.
 
If I really want to ride a bike, I want to get outdoors and do it on the back roads around here; the last thing I want to do is get on a stationary bike. They are not the same experience AT ALL.

The only reason Corissa's hitting the gym instead of riding a bike is because finding a bike that can accommodate her weight is going to cost her too damned much money.

So she's using the gym's stationary bikes, which may or may not be rated for her weight, and if she breaks one she won't feel a moment's guilt because the gym is "overpriced."
 
She avoided riding a bike for YEARS because she was afraid she would shit her pants.

Never, ever feel sorry for these filthy, rotund trolls. Their entire existence is based around ensuring their own physical comfort while actively sabotaging their ability to feel anything outside of pain, fear, illness, and mortification. Anything else they claim to feel is lies.
 
Simpers said:
She avoided riding a bike for YEARS because she was afraid she would shit her pants.
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And she's still shitting her pants to this day. So she's going to the gym and sitting on the equipment, with the full knowledge that at any stage, her doors could spring open and christen anything underneath her.
 
Clotso Coof said:
Yes, if it's truly life-or-death. But probably not if the condition was merely bad and not potentially fatal. Evie isn't getting a 2nd ankle surgery even though she can no longer walk on that fucked up bone.
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Agreed. Evie is a different case though. Even with her first surgery, that was an emergency situation, they made her wait in hospital for weeks (the intention was to reduce her weight before surgery), plus she was non-compliant afterwards with regard to keeping her splints on. When I needed foot surgery, the BMI limit was 35. Evie could never drop her weight enough for elective surgery on her ankle. Not being able to weight bear doesn’t equate to an emergency.
 
Angry New Ager said:
If I really want to ride a bike, I want to get outdoors and do it on the back roads around here; the last thing I want to do is get on a stationary bike. They are not the same experience AT ALL.
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There are options for stationary cycling indoors that do a danged good job replicating real bike riding, thanks to Rouvy, BKool, myWhoosh, Zwift, etc. Most of these involve mounting of a real bicycle on an indoor trainer, so you have the same shifting requirements as riding on the road. Also, with 'smart' trainers that communicate directly with these programs, they will alter their resistance to replicate the difficulty of the gradient of the road, and some of these programs will also alter your maximum speed for the power you're producing based on virtual road conditions - the biggest differences are the lack of weather changes (no headwind, for example) and not getting beat to utter shit by poor tarmac conditions. (If you're talking offroad riding, though, yeah, there's zero ability to replicate that).

Will concur that this gym's stationary bikes are utter trash for replicating road conditions, but not all stationary bike setups are created equal.

I am a Zwift addict, logging literal thousands of miles a year on that platform. I started with my road bike on a set of rollers a goodly number of years ago just to see what it's like. I now have that same road bike with its rear wheel removed on what's called a Smart Direct Drive trainer, and the trainer and bike are on a rocker plate so it moves back and forth as I get out of the saddle and sprint with it. Next purchase is going to be a Wahoo Kickr Climb so the front end pitches up and down with gradients in the app. I've had years where I've ridden only Zwift between the sportives I do annually and my performance in real life has actually improved massively as the routes I'm choising in Zwift are far more challenging than those I face on real roads (we do not have the Alpe d'Huez here, obviously, but I can climb it daily in Zwift).

Angry New Ager said:
So she's using the gym's stationary bikes, which may or may not be rated for her weight
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The gym's stationary bikes are LifeFitness IC5s (source: we had these same bikes in the gyms onboard my last ship). They're rated for a 330 lb rider maximum.

Simpers said:
She avoided riding a bike for YEARS because she was afraid she would shit her pants.
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That tricycle of hers has likely rusted solid at this point. And not from her shitting on it, either.

Also:
Congratulations, Corissa. You're burning JUST enough calories to have a small Starbucks pumpkin spice latte with that 10 minute bike ride.

Yup, that's it.
 
Freetimbit said:
From Corissa’s IG. She’s been going to the gym for 10 mins at a time.
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This, right here, is the best example of the sheer entertainment of lolcow farming. It's beautiful.

Here's Corissa trying to be an influencer, proactively trying to look good. But she just admitted she shits her pants when she makes a slight squatting movement, as would be necessary to get on a bike. Or maybe even sitting on a bike would be enough to make her shit herself? She's a shit monster.

She also admitted that not having a locker room at a gym is no big deal to her. She's not planning to shower or change clothes. Even though she's a shit monster.

Finally, she implied that 10 minutes at the gym is just fine because we all know its a chance for her to get fast food or sugary coffee drinks after she leaves the gym. This is about consooooming, not working out.

And this bitch tries to sell clothing. Now we know the pants she's shilling are filled with shit.
GenociderSyo said:
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Imagine being a kid in Halloween season, going to a haunted house, a school event, a night visit to a farm pumpkin patch...whatever this is. But you have to bring two 500 lb smelly hambeasts because you're related to them.

Worse, the fatter one is a woman with a beard. And ALL YOUR FRIENDS can see her.

My clipboard has the following quote I posted in the Chantal thread, and I accidentally reposted it here. But I'm leaving it, because it's even more appropriate right now:
She looks and acts like a total retard, and I don't think she can help it at this point.
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Clotso Coof said:
Here's Corissa trying to be an influencer, proactively trying to look good. But she just admitted she shits her pants when she makes a slight squatting movement, as would be necessary to get on a bike. Or maybe even sitting on a bike would be enough to make her shit herself? She's a shit monster.
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She’s saying she still can’t control her bowels, because she’s involved in a current lawsuit against Novo Nordisk. She’s claiming Wegovy caused her gall bladder issues, and the removal of her fucked up gallbladder means she no longer has reasonable control over her bowels. In truth, her poor diet is the reason for her incontinence.
 
The absolute state of influencers these days

1. Share the most unhinged, embarrassing, or just plain weird details about yourself (on a public account)
2. Buy a lot of stuff
3. ????
 
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