💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 903 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,557
semitooth said:
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this makes me wanna straight up kill myself
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I'd rather take a baseball bat to his face.

He's seriously looking like there's a big black dick in front of him and he's assuming the position.

a terminal posture said:
Still, I don't really have an issue with someone who is providing DVD-R's of out-of-print media for boomers who don't want to figure out technology.
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The only time to buy a DVD-R of a movie is when it's not on some streaming site, you can't find it off a pirate site or it's OOP and all copies are going for $300 which is highway robbery.

However of all the movies to buy he buys a sappy made for TV Christmas movie.

LaughJoke2.0 said:
Funny thing is I looked it up there are multiple people who have posted that film on YouTube. :story:
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A lot of films are available if you want to take the time to search. There's one bootleg site that has loads of movies on it from exploitation to cheesy 80's comedies. The other 90% though happens to be porn.
 
Marc said:
At this stage of brain death, Jack's film reviews are a question of whether his inability to accurately recall what he watched is a memory issue or a vision issue. I suspect that the only way he is able to relate to or relive the experience is by summoning any sense memories to do with how gratifying the number of pahkorn n sodie refills he had during the moovy was:
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Nah, he only cares if it has gay things in it which threaten to arouse him. He literally can't even pay attention to action movies and only cares if stuff happens on it. And that was before the most recent stroke.

And it's telling even his Fats on the Go are phone-ins now. Nuggets are not worth trying to scam the IRS with.
 
The Southwest Strangla said:
holy shit, something bootleg on etsy? well, It must be a day that ends in "Y". almost everything on that site is a stolen IP. jack would have known this if his brain didn't rot way.
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You're talking about Fatty who ran an etsy store and sold a bunch of AI printed bullshit using an AI model that stole crap from other people's artwork, and then had the fucking audacity to complain about only ever getting 2 sales on etsy(at least one of which was likely just himself or Tammy) as if Etsy were the bad guy.

This is really just another opportunity for Fatty to bitch about Etsy, because like usual he couldn't be bothered to read. The man doesn't read recipes, he doesn't read instructions for kitchen gadgets, do you think he reads item descriptions? All the man knows how to do is consoom.
 
a terminal posture said:
Jack went to notable DVD reseller Etsy to buy Christmas Eve, a 1986 made-for-TV movie starring Loretta (not-so) Young:
View attachment 6457242
It did however, come. Is Jack going to update his review? No.

View attachment 6457246

A closer look at the seller page:

View attachment 6457248

Judging by the quality of the packaging he is probably getting a transfer of the VHS which in some ways would be the more 'authentic' version as opposed to the streaming version currently available on multiple websites, for free. Still, I don't really have an issue with someone who is providing DVD-R's of out-of-print media for boomers who don't want to figure out technology.
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In addition to all the obvious signs he was given that this was a DVD-R, why would he think a MADE FOR TV movie is available on DVD to begin with??

They're made for TV. They weren't intended for home release. They're designed to be one and done.

The only reason there would have been a DVD or VHS release is if the movie was INSANELY and unexpectedly popular, or ended up being the backdoor pilot of a series. I don't know any examples of the former, and only one example of the latter-- that old show Due South, and I'm not even confident the TV movie/pilot was included in DVD/VHS sets. Either way, if it was, you'd still have to buy the whole season.

What a weird thing to
A) want
B) actually buy
C) get mad about when you actually receive it. What was he expecting a DVD-R of a 1980s TV movie to look like?? There's so many context cues he could have considered.

How does this idiot stay alive lol
 
So I see the hurricane cone extends well into Jagoff's neck of the woods coming up overnight here. Guessing he & Tranny are wishing right about now they had upgraded away from the partical board on the build of the new compound.

But ... good news is, if flooding becomes an issue, Jagoff should be an absolute pro at either the breast stroke or the back stroke if need be. So it's not all bad. Plus, all his dehydrated slop should be ready to go!
 
So not only did Jagoff leave a shitty review for his mistake, he also claimed a chargeback (or asked for a refund, I don't think he knows the difference).
jack_dumbass.jpg
 
Jack’s little pecker must start tingling when he senses a customer service dispute or conflict of any kind is at hand. I’ve never seen someone so determined to be angry and miserable while also larping as a religious and lifestyle guru.
 
He's such an ignorant, entitled, and rude cunt. This minisaga is a good example of why people laugh at him slowly dying, instead of being sad that the goofy bad-cooking man isn't well.
 
Suit Manlet said:
So not only did Jagoff leave a shitty review for his mistake, he also claimed a chargeback (or asked for a refund, I don't think he knows the difference).
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how does this genius presume an extremely obscure shitty DIRECT TO FUCKING TV MOVIE would be distributed as a DVD if it wasn't bootlegged? why did he want to see (and physically own) this movie so bad anyway??
 
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was that the lowest-effort video yet? the only entertainment was watching these two fatties, one of whom is half-crippled, struggling to juggle their multiple plastic bubbles of corn-syrup-soaked forcemeat on their center console. indeed, tammy and jack are themselves sauced nuggets of lab meat inside the plastic bubble of their suv.

"it's good. yeah it's a good. it's good buffalo"

glad tammy got a frosty(TM) as well. such a wholesome american meal altogther. how long before tammy's own food-related maladies start to surface?

new jack on the go logo unrealistically depicts jack driving a car, one of countless normal activities he's no longer capable of due to his decades of gluttony.
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People like Jack make me so glad I don't work customer service type jobs anymore. He's a "great" example of the fat lazy gluttonous entitled Americunt. The customer is always right, my ass.

Why does he care that the DVD is a bootleg? Fuck, it's probably better quality than if some crap company actually bought the rights to that shit tier movie and put it in one of those $5 bins of other cinematic slop at Walmart.

You can't even see, much less understand or comprehend, the movie anyway, Jackoff. Go back to binging Blue's Clues.
 
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