💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
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The professional YouTube chef shows his level of skill by turning unripe bananas into hard, brown skin bananas by placing them into the fridge. The recipe and the final product seem fine but Tammie saying she hates cocoa makes it seems that Jack is going to eat them off camera give them to his church.
 
If you want to make bananas soft and recipe-ready fast, put them in the freezer. You can throw them in unpeeled or peel and slice them into coins and place on a cookie sheet. They’ll be close to purée texture within hours.

That said, nobody concerned about blood sugar should be making “healthy” recipes with pounds of bananas. You can make a much better, lower glycemic index batch of four ingredient brownies by using unsweetened shredded coconut, eggs (or chia eggs), unsweetened cocoa powder and a small amount of honey. A splash of vanilla extract is optional but also complements the combo. Throw in a handful of unsweetened dried cherries (annoyingly scarce in stores, which seem to all stock the sugar-laden ones) for a great texture and flavor contrast.

Thread tax: I am embarrassed to admit that I had a dream about Jack last night. We were at some kind of potluck meal and he was guarding the cake he’d brought so fiercely that no one was allowed to have any. He was also taking bites of other people’s desserts off their plates. I know this sounds like something that actually happened, but it was just a dream.
 
Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
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And by wilderness they mean the climate controlled cooperate lobby of cornerstone church itself.
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Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
View attachment 6437442

And by wilderness they mean the climate controlled cooperate lobby of cornerstone church itself.
View attachment 6437458

To be fair, if I was organizing a retreat for that 'church' I wouldn't make it in the middle of nowhere either. You'd have to build a hospital to make sure all the FATASSES didn't die off after going on a five minute walk, or in Jack's case, his scooty puff tipping over and snapping his neck.
 
Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
I would spend so much money to be a fly on the wall at that shit show. Jack should have pitched this to a network — what a reality show that would make.
 
I know damn well those bananas were bitter and didn't taste good. What retard puts in unripe bananas in the fridge then tries to drum up a conspiracy about them browning so fast while they're still unripe. Oh yeah I forgot Jack has been warning us that our food is killing us and the FDA is evil.
It's actually a thing and it seems to be light sensitive. I don't know what it is but if you keep bananas in the dark most of the time they will go from green to ripe and bypass the normal yellow stage. Meaning they'll be partly green and partly brown while being sweet and soft. So yeah if he kept them in the fridge then I'm not surprised they came out that way.

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The professional YouTube chef shows his level of skill by turning unripe bananas into hard, brown skin bananas by placing them into the fridge. The recipe and the final product seem fine but Tammie saying she hates cocoa makes it seems that Jack is going to eat them off camera give them to his church.
The fact that Tammy hates cocoa is proof positive that Fatty is going to eat these when nobody is looking then blame Jr or Hope got at them.

Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
View attachment 6437442

And by wilderness they mean the climate controlled cooperate lobby of cornerstone church itself.
View attachment 6437458
Fatty probably misread that and felt if they were looking for a Man's Man to be there that he could meet said man and suck him off when nobody was looking.
 
Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
View attachment 6437442

And by wilderness they mean the climate controlled cooperate lobby of cornerstone church itself.
View attachment 6437458
I hope Tammy has a relaxing time. She's an awful person in her own right, but she needs a break.
 
I hope Tammy has a relaxing time. She's an awful person in her own right, but she needs a break.
She's a gigantic enabler, if Jack was a self-destroying alcoholic, she'd be coming home with 6 handles of Smirnoff a week for him. She deserves every bit of labor, aggravation and depression Jack puts her through, because she helped him become this. Don't forget, when he was in the care facility for his last crippling stroke, she was smuggling in masses of fast food and taking him on day trips to the movies to pour buttered popcorn down his throat.
 
if Jack was a self-destroying alcoholic, she'd be coming home with 6 handles of Smirnoff

Supposedly, Jack was an alcoholic before TamHam and him quitting was one of her conditions for marriage. Ironically, the vice she was okay with is more expensive, killing him slower, and is probably making just as much a mess with bodily substances.
 
Those brownies resemble slabs of mud natives use to build huts out of.
I also bet their food is a lot more edible that whatever this sacrilegious slab of shit Scalfatty shat out.
 
What? Another "men's" event thing at the stupid mega church, but Fatty isn't having Tammy cook up 200 pounds of "church meat PULPORKS" for him to pretend to take along?
 
Jack is currently away at ManQuest '24 an event hosted by his megachurch; a wilderness retreat for men. They are looking for a "MAN'S MAN," apparently.
View attachment 6437442

And by wilderness they mean the climate controlled cooperate lobby of cornerstone church itself.
View attachment 6437458
The SEND ME thing is mashing up two different Bible quotes.

Isaiah 6:8, "I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me."

This passage is about being ready and willing to do the right thing when called upon to do it. The last time I saw this passage quoted in the wild was in the series Unbelievable, which was based on a true story. A lady detective had Isaiah 6:8 written on her car dashboard to remind her why she did her job, which was investigating rapes and sexual assault. She went on to catch a serial rapist that had gone so long undetected because nobody else could be bothered to take his victims seriously.

Mark 1:2 "Behold, I send my messenger before thy face,
Which shall prepare thy way before thee.
The voice of one crying in the wilderness, 'Prepare ye the way of the Lord, Make his paths straight.'"

This is God saying that he's sent a messenger to prepare/warn us. (John the Baptist, to tell people about Jesus before he came.) "Voice in the wilderness" is an idiom for a lone person telling the truth to society and not being listened to or believed.

I'm not sure why they mashed these two verses up or what they think either of these have to do with manliness. I know Jack loves to think of himself being right all the time, but that's not really what voice in the wilderness means. What's Jack warning us about? I mean I guess he's a cautionary tale about strokes.

I suppose the "send me" quote could be co-opted by men who think men need to be rugged "do what needs to be done regardless of recognition or hardship" types. I have a hard time seeing Jack put himself to any inconvenience when he sees something that needs to be done, though.
 
I suppose the "send me" quote could be co-opted by men who think men need to be rugged "do what needs to be done regardless of recognition or hardship" types. I have a hard time seeing Jack put himself to any inconvenience when he sees something that needs to be done, though.
There's nothing like performative masculinity to draw in insecure men
 
Supposedly, Jack was an alcoholic before TamHam and him quitting was one of her conditions for marriage. Ironically, the vice she was okay with is more expensive, killing him slower, and is probably making just as much a mess with bodily substances.
That makes sense, Jack has an addictive personality.

I'm not sure why they mashed these two verses up or what they think either of these have to do with manliness.
I don’t think they know either.
 
Tammy gets a break when she puts a pillow over Jack's face one night and finishes the job. Until then, she's getting what she deserves.
I’d rather the deed be done by some savage, Haitian in-home nurse, who snaps once Jack’s abusive behavior becomes too intolerable.

For real, though- if you were to suffocate Jack with a pillow, think about what the side that was pressed onto his face would look like afterwards. All that grease, grime, and food residue? It’d probably look like the Shroud of Turin.


I hope Tammy has a relaxing time. She's an awful person in her own right, but she needs a break.
No way she’s taking a break. Caring for manbaby is a 24/7 commitment.

For example, what happens when zero-independence Jack needs to be diapered during one of the sermons? Who else can he rely on to do it? The pastor? Some random congregant?
 
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