💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Anyone who believes the government had a blue beam lazer that they used to burn down houses and didn't use that blue beam to kill Hamas or Taliban is functionally retarded and very likely needs a state-assigned caretaker to take care of themselves, so congratulations
Droughts, insanely flammable grass, and wind do not mix well.
 
People have made butter like this forever. He cannot be this fucking retarded. That was an amazing video.
It's almost like churning butter is something so notoriously labor-intensive that it's been used as a metaphor for hard work for forever.

Something Jagoff is completely incapable of, being both a crippled gimped-up stroke retard and lazy as fuck, on top of that.
 
Jack could have just used a standing mixer and let it run for a few minutes. I don’t get why he decided to do it in the method that would require the most exercise he’s had in months. The “hack” he found was probably the most labor intense way to do it. Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.
 
Jack could have just used a standing mixer and let it run for a few minutes. I don’t get why he decided to do it in the method that would require the most exercise he’s had in months. The “hack” he found was probably the most labor intense way to do it. Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.
Or he could have tried not being a stroked-out dying faggot who only has one functional arm thanks to his shitty diet.

He is very unlike this guy:

Fun fact: this guy has two arms that work, unlike Stroke Boy.
I generally use two hands on the jar to shake it. You will wind up shaking it for several minutes. After awhile it will thicken up and feel like nothing is moving around in there. Keep shaking.

Shaking the cream takes it through phases, the first phase is thickening it into pretty much a whipped cream.

Soon the you will feel a solid bouncing around in the jar with a sloshing liquid. That solid is the homemade butter. Stop shaking once you get to this point. If you keep shaking the liquid will be re-introduced into the butter and ruin it.

Guess what gimped-out retard doesn't have two functional hands?
 
Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.

The prospect of "more buddur" is what powered him through the ordeal; just as if he was enduring a rape. Pouring the liquid out at the end must have been like finding out there's no heaven waiting for him.
 
New Jack Reaction image from Twitter

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"Our food is killing us" from the guy who made rotten brisket and eats fast food a lot

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Aww poor Jack, can't resist eating food (also stop the BS, everyone and their mom knows the carnivore shit is fake)

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Another Jack movie review

>"NO POLITICAL AGENDAS"
>Movie is literally about AI which is a hot button issue
>Says PG-13 horror movie may bother little kids

 
New Jack Reaction image from Twitter

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View attachment 6390141

"Our food is killing us" from the guy who made rotten brisket and eats fast food a lot

View attachment 6390143

Aww poor Jack, can't resist eating food (also stop the BS, everyone and their mom knows the carnivore shit is fake)

View attachment 6390145

Another Jack movie review

>"NO POLITICAL AGENDAS"
>Movie is literally about AI which is a hot button issue
>Says PG-13 horror movie may bother little kids

d8BB4lk0VdqxcB-Q.mp4
who wants to know if a movie have a "political agenda"? god, I swear his political sperging fucked his brain more than the strokes. also, his speech gotten worst. those strokes are still working their magic on him.
 
New Jack Reaction image from Twitter

View attachment 6390139

View attachment 6390141

"Our food is killing us" from the guy who made rotten brisket and eats fast food a lot

View attachment 6390143

Aww poor Jack, can't resist eating food (also stop the BS, everyone and their mom knows the carnivore shit is fake)

View attachment 6390145

Another Jack movie review

>"NO POLITICAL AGENDAS"
>Movie is literally about AI which is a hot button issue
>Says PG-13 horror movie may bother little kids

d8BB4lk0VdqxcB-Q.mp4
Jack you ain't there hunting fresh game to eat. That supermarket meat that we all buy is pumped full of drugs and hormones to grow the animals.

Sad thing is if someone wanted to eliminate all the shit, they put into our foods you'd have to grow your own or find a local farmer who grows organically and find a butcher who uses locally sourced meat from hunters or small farms. But ironically Jack would likely call it hippy trash if it said organic.
 
who wants to know if a movie have a "political agenda"? god, I swear his political sperging fucked his brain more than the strokes. also, his speech gotten worst. those strokes are still working their magic on him.
Jacks understanding of political agenda is if it is pro-LGBT, pro-minority, feminist, or it says the moon landing happened
 
lol this butter video is one of the most strokebrained ass backwards attempts at content creation I've seen out of him
"I SAW THIS VIDEO AND I'M TRYING IT"
"IT DIDNT WORK THAT GUY IS A FAKER BUT IM NOT THE KIND OF GUY THAT WILL SHOW YOU WHO IT WAS"
It's content critique without referencing the content it's critiquing so we're just supposed to be annoyed at some guy on tiktok who wasted jacks, and now our, time. ~9 minutes of him being retarded and complaining that a tiktok lied to him.
The guy is a retard for several reasons like he didn't shake it enough and he's using heavy cream that has additives. But the thing that struck me is how he ate a spoonful of it.

This, according to Algonquin legend, is a sign of the Wendigo. A person who eats their butter without spreading it on bread has a Wendigo spirit inside them.

This is now confirmed that Fatty has an evil spirit living inside him and is using him like a puppet.
 

This is the tiktok he got his butter recipe from. It is a poor tutorial because it does not adequately demonstrate how hard you need to shake the jar to get the butter. Yet when the butter failed to appear, Jack didn't bother to check out the other hundreds of videos on tiktok or youtube on how to make butter. Instead, he rewatched the same tiktok to make sure he did it right. He never asked himself "well if this technique doesn't make butter, how do they actually make butter?", then googled for an answer. His video is still called "How to make butter" even though he didn't make butter and he didn't edit out the beginning where he said making butter is "super easy". A+ Jack content, this is why I keep coming back.
 

I've made butter with my mixer and it turned out great. It's stupid easy already. Why you would manually shake it in a jar when you know Jack has at least a Kitchenaid and probably 10 other chinesiums just like it is beyond me. Well, other than pure retardation.
 
Taking health advice from Joe Rogan is retarded. The guy is on a copious amount of anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing drugs.

Rogan also tellingly went through a phase of drinking his own piss every morning; because he couldn't rule it out as a bad idea through the capacity for reason that everyone else seemingly possesses. Even people with Down Syndrome would react to the question of whether they had ever considered the health benefits of drinking their own piss with incredulousness; because there is no reason it ever should have occurred to them. Even without exciting a primal quality of disgust within neurotypical individuals, the practice is plainly non-intuitive. Yet Jack is sub-piss drinking in the quality of his epiphanies and revelations.

I've made butter with my mixer and it turned out great. It's stupid easy already. Why you would manually shake it in a jar when you know Jack has at least a Kitchenaid and probably 10 other chinesiums just like it is beyond me. Well, other than pure retardation.

You use the right tool for the job; and Jack is the wrong tool for any job. But he is a giant tool, nonetheless. Sufficiently large dogs or cats would simply bury him.
 
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=r8YdEqDm1zk
I've made butter with my mixer and it turned out great. It's stupid easy already. Why you would manually shake it in a jar when you know Jack has at least a Kitchenaid and probably 10 other chinesiums just like it is beyond me. Well, other than pure retardation.
Because Fatty is a fucking retard and loves tiktok and everything on it, and he thinks if he does like people on tiktok do, that he'll end up as some kind of social media superstar. This butter in a jar shit I remember doing as part of science studies in I think the 2nd grade, and yeah you had the shake the shit out of it. The fact that a man as old as Fatty is, who pretends to be a chef, knows so little about food that he was fascinated by something so fucking basic, is pretty damned comical.

This is the same reason he's gone on about the stupid tumblers and the ice melting crap. The man is not capable of having an original thought. If it sounds like boomer shit, it's from facebook, if it sounds like he might be following some dumb wannabe viral bullshit it's from tiktok.
 
This feels like a classic jack episode. Failing something that humans have been doing for thousands of years, not knowing wtf he is talking about then claiming that the OTHER guy is a fraud and lying.
 
Rogan also tellingly went through a phase of drinking his own piss every morning; because he couldn't rule it out as a bad idea through the capacity for reason that everyone else seemingly possesses. Even people with Down Syndrome would react to the question of whether they had ever considered the health benefits of drinking their own piss with incredulousness; because there is no reason it ever should have occurred to them. Even without exciting a primal quality of disgust within neurotypical individuals, the practice is plainly non-intuitive. Yet Jack is sub-piss drinking in the quality of his epiphanies and revelations.
There's a subset of people out there that actually treat urine as a kind of health tonic and call it, no word of a lie, "your body's natural water". Never mind that it's how your body gets rid of certain waste products. Never mind that you're reintroducing it to your system. The fact that you willingly drink it ought to be enough to say, "I'm a retard".

And yes. Joe Rogan is a cow.

Because Fatty is a fucking retard and loves tiktok and everything on it, and he thinks if he does like people on tiktok do, that he'll end up as some kind of social media superstar. This butter in a jar shit I remember doing as part of science studies in I think the 2nd grade, and yeah you had the shake the shit out of it. The fact that a man as old as Fatty is, who pretends to be a chef, knows so little about food that he was fascinated by something so fucking basic, is pretty damned comical.

This is the same reason he's gone on about the stupid tumblers and the ice melting crap. The man is not capable of having an original thought. If it sounds like boomer shit, it's from facebook, if it sounds like he might be following some dumb wannabe viral bullshit it's from tiktok.
His biggest problem is, "they said X number of minutes so that's what I'm going to do" without understanding things like effort or technique. It's like when he made his bread in one of his early videos and was so impressed by it because it took only a minute to mix up. Except he was left with big chunks of unblended flour in it. But to him it was a success because he's a retard.

This is no different. He can't shake it very hard, had to get Hammy to help and because it didn't come out like the video he blames it instead of himself.
 
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