🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Atomic Tampon Cat said:
Hear me out: Josh could probably get some from a real uggo juggalette?
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Josh could get IRL pussy if he wanted, even with his teeth in the state that they are. Reminder for retards, getting laid does not mean having a loving stable healthy relationship. The problem is, Cobes doesn't try, he famously patiently waits™. When you're a retarded uggo with terrible hygiene, no money, and crippling addictions it's extremely rare for women to seek you out. A local Casperite broken woman is not just going to randomly knock on the manufactured door and ask Cobes to ravage her. He has to actually make an attempt to get some, but he doesn't. He wouldn't have even fucked NAL if she wasn't whoredashed to his front door.
 
There’s zero chance for Cobes to get a woman who isn’t a deranged mental case along the level of NaL. He’s not going to put the effort in because he’s afraid of women and he’s afraid of rejection which is why he “waits patiently”. He went for NaL cause she literally showed up to his door down to fuck.

Cobes is really autistic, he cannot read social cues to save his life, that alone makes it challenging to get a girlfriend. Then you have the crippling fear of rejection which he opened up about in the infamous Sprite Tropical Remix review where he laments that he’s lonely because he doesn’t have a girlfriend but that he’s been rejected so many times that he’s afraid to make a move on anybody or talk to anybody which then ensures he never gets a girlfriend and stays lonely. That was when he was capable of being honest to the camera and before the trolling made him hide behind a bunch of fronts and bullshit to save face or keep shit to himself.

That certainly hasn’t changed, all that’s changed is that he makes it seem like it’s his idea now and that he’s “waiting patiently” and not that he is paralyzed with anxiety when talking to women who aren’t online buddy troll weirdos or bog hags that made their intentions very clear.

Here’s how Cobes reacts to a normal woman, (who isn’t a “fangirl” or somebody familiar with him and isn’t a bog hag) approaching him.


 
We're almost at the Bogrunner 2049 page.
What would be the text of a bog-line test? 🤔
"Do they keep you in a little trailer? Doodt"
"Doodt"
 
JambledUpWords said:
I’m sorry, but what woman in their right mind would volunteer to have sex with this?
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The only woman in Cobra’s recent dating history that willingly went for this was NAL, and she’s not in her right mind. Can we please stop this white knighting behavior for Cobes? He’s an adult in his thirties, and the last thing he needs is another woman (that he’d inevitably only use for sex). In his current trajectory, Cobes can only attract mental cases as bad as what he has, and he’d have to have a serious come to Jesus moment (and extensive dental work), to even think about getting a woman that’s more mentally well adjusted.
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Fucking hell. He's got a mouth like a ruined white picket fence you'd see in a zombie movie.
 
SummerNeverEnds said:
Fucking hell. He's got a mouth like a ruined white picket fence you'd see in a zombie movie.
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It's worse than that now. That picture is old and his front teeth have since disintegrated almost entirely. He's just "letting them rot out naturally", I guess he expects it to be like your baby teeth and painless.
 
biggacracka said:
We're almost at the Bogrunner 2049 page.
What would be the text of a bog-line test? 🤔
"Do they keep you in a little trailer? Doodt"
"Doodt"
Click to expand...
I've seen things you farmers wouldn't believe. A-logs on fire off the shoulder of Bogrion. I watched NAL-beams glitter in the dark near the Boghauser gate. All these livestreams will be lost in time, like booze on the floor.
 
Lets just take the time to marvel at a man who is enduring horrific dental pain so that he can own his father for telling him to brush his teeth.

Oh, and if you ask him about it? He'll deny everything, call you a retard and block you.
 
biggacracka said:
We're almost at the Bogrunner 2049 page.
What would be the text of a bog-line test? 🤔
"Do they keep you in a little trailer? Doodt"
"Doodt"
Click to expand...
You reach down and you throw the lizard over into the snow, Josh. The lizard lays there, its body de-thawing in the wet snow, flexing its claws trying to crawl out, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. You're not helping! Why is that, Josh?
 
The fair video with Homeboy Scotty always gave me Blade Runner vibes. Maybe it's the lighting and Josh lamenting on his loneliness.
 
ForTheHoard said:
I'm so hit or miss with these. There's 2 or 3 of them that are amazing. So good that I regularly hum them to myself. The rest of them are almost unlistenable.
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I like this one. There was one he did for Josh’s “I took a mentally challenged girl to the woods” talk, but, for some reason, walnut grove took it down. I guess people bitch about to him about it. I guess they don’t want to see Josh in a bad light
 
biggacracka said:
We're almost at the Bogrunner 2049 page.
What would be the text of a bog-line test? 🤔
"Do they keep you in a little trailer? Doodt"
"Doodt"
Click to expand...
"A green black dankness began to spin.
A concoction of sweets intermixed within sweets
intermixed within sweets
intermixed within one mead.

And egsuisidly exstinkt against the troles,
a goth King Cobra played...

...Monitorized.
Monitorized.
Do the trolls watch everything you do? Monitorized.
Monitorized.
Does Susan give you lots of money? Monitorized.
Monitorized.
Does social media give a shit? Monitorized.
Monitorized.

Fuck Sickos.
Fuck Sickos.
Is the stream only for twenty-one and up? Fuck Sickos.
Fuck Sickos.
What would you do to break your dry spell? Fuck Sickos.
Fuck Sickos.
Does she really have to be human, alive, of-age, non-related, and consenting? Fuck Sickos.
Fuck Sickos.

Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.
Do you watch chaturbate while she visits? Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.
Do you actually believe in Cobratin? Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.
Why don't you say that three times? Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.
Trust and Believe.

...We're done. 'Constant Cobra', you can pick up your DoorDash.
Thank you, Toobs."
 
biggacracka said:
We're almost at the Bogrunner 2049 page.
What would be the text of a bog-line test? 🤔
"Do they keep you in a little trailer? Doodt"
"Doodt"
Click to expand...
"ive seen things you people wouldn't believe

food hacks on fire over the shoulders of orion

i watched a hibernating bearded dragon sparkle in the c-beams near the Tannhäuser gate

all those moments will be lost, like yeast in a dank jalapeno mead
 
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