🪦 Deceased Elizabeth Waite / John Waite Jr. - You did this, Rat King

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I have to figure out where I went wrong so I don't let anything like this happen again.

Keep genderspecial stuff between you and your child. If he truly believes he wants to be a girl, get him to licensed professionals.

The Rat Kings community are like vampires unfortunately, and will try to goad you in every way to exploit your child to be as non conforming as possible, which will fuck him over.
 
I'm unemployed but looking for work. Things are tight, but we're getting by. If anyone wants to do something to help, I've asked them to do a good deed for someone else.

That's the spirit!
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This is one of the scariest parts to me. I wanted to keep our family together. I wanted people to be accepted for who they are. But it was really easy to get sucked in. Tatoe wasn't the only one who started questioning his gender. You know. You have my reddit history. There was a lot of rhetoric being thrown around. And there was a lot of acceptance and an admission to an inner circle of sorts that came with questioning.

I have to figure out where I went wrong so I don't let anything like this happen again.

Work on developing good boundaries and self-esteem. When you're confident about who you are, it's a lot harder for other people to suck you into their game or for a group to impinge on your sense of self.

You were vulnerable and unfortunately vulnerable people who lack good boundaries often end up in toxic situations. Cults depend on it, and you can use awareness of that cult-like behaviour to protect yourself and Tatoe in the future.

Keep in touch with the DV services you've used in the past. Just because you're out of the situation doesn't mean it hasn't left its mark.
 
@Manapan, I am sorry for your loss.

And with the most important thing being said, let me add this:
"Throw a stone around here and you will most likely hit a cynic."
 
I just wanted whatever was going to help her be her best self. We have a young child. I wanted her to have stable employment and be a good role model for him instead of being crippled by drugs, alcohol, and depression. If transition was the answer, I was willing to go along with it.

And for a while, she was happier than I've ever seen her. She quit using drugs. She cut down her alcohol use by a ton. She was working full time. She was actually smiling and she liked the pictures of herself. But it's really hard for people to accept sometimes. And the criticism wore on her. It got to a point that everyone who had even the smallest bad thing to say was to be banned from our lives. That's how we lost contact with most of our friends and family. That was when to have contact with anybody, they pretty much had to be on her list of approved people.

As her mental health declined, it got really draining to try to take care of our child, of her, and of myself. December 2015 she was admitted to the hospital for her mental health. That was really hard for us, since we'd only spent a single night apart in nearly eight years at that time, but it was also the first chance for me to see "oh, wait, the kid misses her but his behavior is improving, he's showing affection more often, he's learning some skills he didn't have a week ago". When she returned, life went to hell again and I'll be honest, that was when I ended up in the mental hospital myself. (I read your threads, I know you think I'm an unfit parent. But I'm trying, okay? And my therapist says I'm doing a fine job.)
Sorry for quoting you again, but to be honest I don't keep up with the threads surrounding the TLL nearly as much as some users here. You really seem like you tried your hardest to make things best for everyone else except yourself. Most people here aren't parents, so of course some asshats are going to complain about everything, even aspects of life we have no knowledge of. Again, it's not personal. We don't know who you are.

I think your biggest problem is living life for other people instead of yourself and your child. You were also caught in an abusive relationship, just judging from your Reddit posts. And you're still here defending Elizabeth (understandably) despite what she put you through. Lots of people here have mental issues. The more we see your side of the story the more we get it. But the point is, despite how mentally ill she was she was still VERY capable of a lot in her life. She threw you and your son aside. She made that choice in favor of her own lifestyle. And I don't mean being trans, I mean the lifestyle of these faux-trans people who pretend to be victim in every situation of their lives and love to bring everyone down with them. Normal trans people don't do that.
 
Should she clean out anything confidential on her Reddit, by chance? No doubt Greta's watching.
 
Should she clean out anything confidential on her Reddit, by chance? No doubt Greta's watching.
Too late for that now. If Greta tries to incite a dogpile on a grieving widow and single parent, it would be another nail in his coffin.
 
@Manapan, my condolences.

If you don't mind addressing it, to what degree was your late spouse influenced by what your brother-in-law did last year and what your father-in-law did this summer? Were you concerned about leaving him because of what happened with Sarah and Kyle?

Also, it's pretty clear that your spouse had mixed feelings about having children throughout the years, particularly given your condition. Do you think the stress of having a child weighed too heavily, given his mental state and experiences growing up?

Again, sorry for your loss.
 
Should she clean out anything confidential on her Reddit, by chance? No doubt Greta's watching.

It won't help. It's already archived.

She should probably make all her social media friends only and make liberal use of blocking options both online and on her phone, though.
 
It won't help. It's already archived.
I really doubt she has anything incriminating. If it's "incriminating" to Greta then it's bullshit. Nobody will ever know who Manpan is. It looks like a lot on Twitter but in reality nobody knows what TLL even is, and a lot of the population of America doesn't even know what being trans is, nor the subcultures that interact with it online. If anything the curious bystander or whoever reviews her internet history for a job or something would be more than sympathetic, especially with a child. Hell even my own super SJW trans friends haven't supported TLL. They won't get anywhere.
 
Please, for the love of god just stay away from the "trans community". They'll milk this situation for all it's worth and throw you away when they're no longer getting pity points.

Can't stress this enough.
Don't let them into your life and more importantly... Any access to your child.
I have never come across a more toxic and dangerous community.
They might seem like they are trying to comfort you, but they are just using you.


I hope you and your child can heal from this.
 
@Manapan Kids have very, very minimal understanding of 'gender identity'. Your son has likely internalized a lot of what your spouse did-- that liking 'feminine' things = being a woman, rather than a young boy who has diverse interests.

I would really encourage you to allow your son to develop without therapeutic intervention. No hormones. No blockers. He could grow up to be a healthy young gender non-conforming man.

Nearly 80% of children who express gender confusion during youth and begin social or medical transition end up stopping treatment/realizing they internalized a lot of homophobia. He could also just be a straight dude who likes glitter.

Let your son be a kid and himself before trying to fit him into a gender sphere. Let him grow. Support him. Don't feed into the rhetoric and dogma and just let him be a boy who likes what society views as 'feminine' activities or interests.
 
I really doubt she has anything incriminating. If it's "incriminating" to Greta then it's bullshit. Nobody will ever know who Manpan is. It looks like a lot on Twitter but in reality nobody knows what TLL even is, and a lot of the population of America doesn't even know what being trans is, nor the subcultures that interact with it online. If anything the curious bystander or whoever reviews her internet history for a job or something would be more than sympathetic, especially with a child. Hell even my own super SJW trans friends haven't supported TLL. They won't get anywhere.

Greta has attended White House panels as a speaker
 
@Manapan I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like if circumstances were different and Elizabeth got the help she needed, she could have been alright and a positive part of her child's life.
I agree with everyone else who say to keep your son away from the social justice crowd. If he does identify as gay or trans or agender when he's older, so be it. But please don't let the same people who surrounded Elizabeth surround him one day.

What really bugs me is that a group of people I know were doing a fundraiser for TLL. These aren't bad people or the anti-everything not spesul crowd, but it does disturb me a bit. Obviously, I think they got the wool pulled over their eyes and I did consider going to the head of the group and filling them in. Feels bad, man :heart-empty:
 
@Manapan, my condolences.

If you don't mind addressing it, to what degree was your late spouse influenced by what your brother-in-law did last year and what your father-in-law did this summer? Were you concerned about leaving him because of what happened with Sarah and Kyle?

Also, it's pretty clear that your spouse had mixed feelings about having children throughout the years, particularly given your condition. Do you think the stress of having a child weighed too heavily, given his mental state and experiences growing up?

Again, sorry for your loss.
Thank you. We were estranged, but I had hope that she would keep working on herself, get better, and be able to be a noncustodial parent.

Kyle was one of Lizzy's closest friends. She was devastated by his suicide. Her own first suicide attempt had been a week before he died. She took a bunch of pills one night while John and I were asleep and she was on hold with the hotline. At his funeral, she said to me that she was so glad she hadn't done it because she saw how devastated everyone was and that she could never do that to us. She still though about him every day.

Her father's crimes weighed on her also. She didn't want to be associated with him and it bothered her to know he was part of what made her. We had been no contact with him since before our child was born because he is a truly evil person.

I worried more about her well being when I left than I ever did about myself. That's not to say I didn't have concerns or that bad things didn't happen, but I want to remember the good things about her.

And that we had children was all my doing. This is where my own awful comes out. When we were dating she agreed with me that we wanted a large family, just not yet. I had a birth control failure and ended up pregnant. We had discussed previously that in that situation we'd terminate but I couldn't do it. I decided not to tell her about the pregnancy and I was preparing to leave her when I miscarried.

We married a few months later and then the truth about the pregnancy came out. She was pissed. Rightfully so. But she went on to say that she had lied about wanting children because she knew that was the only way I'd marry her. I was pissed. I'd like to think rightfully so. I asked for a divorce, she refused to sign the papers, I told her that I was having children whether they were hers or not. She didn't want to lose me so she agreed but kept trying to get me to stop wanting kids. (After my second miscarriage, she went so far as to point out that the repeat losses were proof that "Mother Nature thinks you'd make a terrible mother and you should listen to what biology is telling you.") I refused to give up. Another loss, then Tatoe, then another loss, then she transitioned and lost her fertility. It's probably a huge factor in why she was so keen on the rush orchiectomy. And she did constantly tell me that she was a shitty parent and she had known she would be. I regret forcing her hand but I also wish she had been honest in the first place so we could have parted ways then and both had what we wanted.
 
Please, for the love of god just stay away from the "trans community". They'll milk this situation for all it's worth and throw you away when they're no longer getting pity points.

What WhiteRice said. The "transtender" community are parasites and will not hesitate to milk Elizabeth's death for all its worth.

They don't give a damn about you or your child, and they certainly didn't give enough of a damn about Elizabeth until they were able to exploit her death for their own selfish reasons. If they did, they'd be trying to help you and your child, not using her death as insidious "virtue signaling" to line their own pockets. Recognize them as the vultures they are and do not, under any circumstances, hesitate to contact the police if Greta or one of her ilk tries to pull something on you.

Stay strong, and I will keep you and your child close in my thoughts during these times, @Manapan.
 
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This thread actually makes me sad. Not like "trolls remorse" sad, but just a little feels-ish .
 
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