🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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Ethan "Wetback" Ralph had to pay the cartels to sneak him back into the country his daddy gave him!

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Sad! PATHETIC!
 
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EyeGuy said:
Ethan "Wetback" Ralph had to hire the cartels to sneak him back into the country his Daddy gave him!
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In his Xanax stupor he misheard the kid say "Fatty" and thought he said "Daddy".

Also, he likely was scammed and paid some Mexican to tell him which line to wait in. Ralph has a proven habit of falling for the most blatant obvious tourist scammers. Like when he bought the nigger bracelet in portugal to increase his libido.
 
EyeGuy said:
Ethan "Wetback" Ralph had to pay the cartels to sneak him back into the country his daddy gave him!View attachment 6271854
Sad! PATHETIC!
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Hey, senor! I can help you get past this line. You just gotta help me by lifting up that gunt of yours, mang. That's good. Now let me just slide some of that co-cai-ena up in there. Bueno, now when you get across the border, look for a guy named Hector...
 
Rage Pig said:
This fat piece of shit who just bought Starlink and new sunglasses didn't bring his son a toy, we all know he'd bragged about it like last time if he did.
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He never has. He considered giving him a picture of the whore Sandra but was afraid it would be "thrown away". Then he considered buying him a pair of his gay sunglasses because he supposedly loved them so much during one visit. Of course he never did that either. He did however post Faith's amazon wishlist for paypigs to buy him toys.
 
Rage Pig said:
View attachment 6270109
Madame Ralph got some fancy new accessories and manages to look extra gay. I'm pretty sure only women and faggots possess a dozen different sunglasses.
View attachment 6270111
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Is he pouting??

Helpful hints from Dorothy, Ralph:

Invest in some of these & take care of that wattle:
Double Chin Reducer, Double Chin Eliminator V Line Lifting Mask with Chin Strap for Double Chin for Women -Face Lift (Pink)
https://a.co/d/5B9AOQg

And too-big baseball hat and tshirt (though the brown is nice) has got to go. He's worn some kind of cabana shirt before, right? Put it with a straw/woven pork pie/cuban fedora or something, pair of lightweight loose slacks (or shorts, if you must), dark brown leather sandals or slip-on of some kind (not huaraches, ah beg), and sunglasses scaled to his size (height, not girth)...and a brown leather man-purse (always looking out for you, Ralph!) would actually not look out of place. ...It's not an original outfit idea, but at least he wouldn't look like a 4 year old in his new big-boy Garanimals.

Also, even a 5 lb barbell for various exercises while you're sitting around would help firm up those biceps a bit. Too young to be so soft.

Pale Empress said:
For informational purposes, it is 28 miles from Tiajuana International Airport to San Diego International Airport. Estimated driving time is less than 40 minutes. There are also other transit options (bus/train), and interestingly it takes about two hours to travel there via bicycle.

Ralph could have called an uber (it's not even hot outside) or caught a bus and it would have saved time, money, and headache.

Poor Xander, I hope he never finds out that getting drunk and yelling at Mexicans on Twitter took priority over time spent with him.
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Jfc, he is such a little baby. He really thinks his everyday drunken screwups mundane travel glitches are HST-level Adventure. Ethan Ralph, swashbuckling through Mehico, taking down international airlines, destroying anti-huwite racism by bullying some braces-aged kid, throwing copper around with abandon (how much does a 28-mile flight cost anyway?), putting ms-13 at his bidding (don't forget to @ them on X with your complaint, Karen). Whew, what a ride!
 
O Puffers Where Art Thou? said:
No it's real. What you're calling a point in his other photo is merely his turkey neck hanging down.
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No, it’s not. You can see where he shaved his lower face down to a ‘v.’ It’s laughably obvious. His actual facial outline is more like this
C3D0AF83-B4A8-4F43-958B-5D34F324260F.jpeg
(pink dots,)

He’s so bad at this it’s funny. And like someone earlier itt said, his real bulbous face is there for everyone to see in his 300 viewer streams which makes it even better. I still think his photoshops should have their own thread (but he’s too boring and inconsequential to merit a separate thread,)
 
So... There I was...



The grandfather of my son, XANDER, had called in the hit. AeroMexico was on the lookout and the second they saw me, they had cooked up any ol' excuse to boot me off the plane.

Time was working against me. A staggering 45 minute drive to San Diego, I had to think fast to cross the border.

Stumbling from the airport, I solicited the greasiest wetbacks I could find in the area for help. They warned me the trip was fraught with dangers. The border was locked up tighter than a Catholic chica's chastity belt. They wanted mucho dinero, but luckily I was Internet famous with hundreds of thousands of dollars to my name (which they had heard of).

Three of the men died on the way. One to thirst, the other to moat gators, the third to a border guard sniper. The last didn't care. He was MS13 and knew that fewer men meant a bigger share of my American dollerinos.

Me and the hombre (I didn't have time to learn the name, being in such a hurry) parted ways. He told me he was a big fan of the Killstream and wished me luck fighting the American family court system. I nodded at him in the understanding way only two men can.

I arrived, a mere 115 minutes late, caked in dirt and sweat. They were already getting ready to leave but I told that BITCH to sit the fuck down because I was getting my 5 minutes.

There he was. XANDER. I hugged him and I told him, "I love ya, son." He looked at me and cried. Tears of joy.


Thankfully the trip back was much less perilous. I had arrived with only the bare essentials (my manpurse had my phone, wallet, cash and credit, and my American passport). I flew American the way back to the Yucatan. Another great day to be a Ralphamale.
 
Um... said:
No, it’s not. You can see where he shaved his lower face down to a ‘v.’ It’s laughably obvious. His actual facial outline is more like this
View attachment 6272132
(pink dots,)

He’s so bad at this it’s funny. And like someone earlier itt said, his real bulbous face is there for everyone to see in his 300 viewer streams which makes it even better. I still think his photoshops should have their own thread (but he’s too boring and inconsequential to merit a separate thread,)
Click to expand...
Screenshot_20240804_224318_Chrome.jpg
 
EyeGuy said:
Ethan "Wetback" Ralph had to pay the cartels to sneak him back into the country his daddy gave him!

View attachment 6271854

Sad! PATHETIC!
Click to expand...
LOL. It's more likely that Xander was scared/timid/shy and didn't say a single word the entire time. The kid was in a foreign place, with some strange man and an observer, with his mother nowhere to be seen. I'm not sure if his Xander tweets are more pathetic or more sad.
Tiger Jack said:
Is....is he arguing with a chatbot?
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He's lonely. No one is interested enough to engage in the hollerin' anymore.
 
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