Business Global IT outage live updates: Australian banks, airlines, media outlets taken offline - Bloody Bitch Bastard

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There's a global outage of MicroSoft Windows machines currently, amusingly. This website is laid out in a very frustrating way, so I've included the main excerpts here:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07...-microsoft-banks-airlines-australia/104119960 (archive)

There are reports of IT outages affecting major institutions in Australia and internationally.
The ABC is experiencing a major network outage, along with several other media outlets.
Crowd-sourced website Downdetector is listing outages for Foxtel, National Australia Bank and Bendigo Bank.

Like a number of other organisations, global issues affecting CrowdStrike and Microsoft are disrupting some of our systems.
The issue is causing some holdups for some of our customers and we thank them for their patience.
There is no impact to our fixed or mobile network which continue to operate.
Calls to our Triple Zero contact centres are not affected, but we understand some state emergency services are also impacted and we are working with them to implement backup processes.

CrowdStrike ran a recorded phone message on Friday saying it was aware of reports of crashes on Microsoft's Windows operating system relating to its Falcon sensor.
"Thanks for contacting CrowdStrike support. CrowdStrike is aware of reports of crashes on Windows … related to the Falcon sensor," a prerecorded message played when a Reuters reporter called the company's technical support.

University of Melbourne lecturer in cyber security Shaanan Cohney says there appear to be two separate things happening at once to cause the mass outages we are seeing.
The first issue, he says, appears to have been caused by a piece of software developed by a company called CrowdStrike.
"It's a computer security vendor that provides a monitoring service to large enterprises so they can see on computers within their control if there's any indications of suspicious activity or things that would require a security alert or to lock down the computer," Dr Cohney says.
"Because this software needs to see everything that is going on, it's very tightly integrated into the computer's software, so when you install it, it asks for a lot of permissions so that it can ask for everything going on on the computer.
"However, because it's in such a privileged position, if something goes wrong with it, if there's a programming mistake it has the capability to bring down the entire computer.
"If someone makes the wrong type of mistake it can bring the whole system down.
"As far as we can tell what it looks like happened with this piece of software is the company issued a significant update and something in the update went wrong.
"Engineers at the company and those outside are scrambling to try to pinpoint the source so they can try to pinpoint the problem so that's why companies are telling their employees to shut down their computer in order to prevent them from updating so those employees can maintain some minimal capabilities and have access to documents that are offline."
Reporting by Andi Yu

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An of course call after call from pissed off HR Karens that we've already fucking told multiple times that we'll get to you eventually.

Fucking cunts the entire company is down, you are the lowest on our list of people to get going. No bitch, I don't know how long it's going to take to get to you.
 
and they want to go to other planets with humans... "Your oxygen system is currently offline, please bear with us as we work to remedy this problem. We appreciate your patience in this matter. Thank you for choosing Microsoft Oxygen Services., protected by CrowdSrike."
‘Please raise a ticket…’
*six days later*
‘Your ticket has been closed due to non response…’
 
An of course call after call from pissed off HR Karens that we've already fucking told multiple times that we'll get to you eventually.

Fucking cunts the entire company is down, you are the lowest on our list of people to get going. No bitch, I don't know how long it's going to take to get to you.
"BUT I AM IMPORTANT HOW CAN I DO MY HR MEETINGS WITHOUT MY LAPTOP"
 
Of course I picked today to buy a new phone. The Pajeet basically told me I'm fucked until things are back online, been trying to activate it for like 2 hours dammit.
 
I work at an events venue (UK). Ticketing system has been down all day and IT have warned it might be the same until tomorrow. Other venues use the same software but host it in-house or whatever so they are operational - so we're getting angry show promoters asking why people can't buy a ticket here but they can at other venues. Can't even get on to see what seats are available, so even if the in-person POS machines aren't also fucked (no idea) it's not like we can manually write out tickets as we don't know where they can sit. Oh, and we went cashless after covid, so if the POS is down we def can't do anything.

Funny thing is that a couple of months ago our HOD said at some point we'd be looking at how we could operate in a case of massive tech failure, cyberattack etc. Our team knew we'd be fucked and this has shown it. The shows can still go ahead, but we can't sell any tickets or resolve any ticket issues that always crop up on the night.
 
Funny thing is that a couple of months ago our HOD said at some point we'd be looking at how we could operate in a case of massive tech failure, cyberattack etc. Our team knew we'd be fucked and this has shown it. The shows can still go ahead, but we can't sell any tickets or resolve any ticket issues that always crop up on the night.
Did customers receive an IOU ticket for their entry?
 
This is honestly why I strongly advocate for a shadow dark network that represents the last known functional image. You create the image of the production system when you are sure it is 100% functional, bring the entire dark network up for imaging, once it's done, take it offline again, so you always have a system that can be quickly brought online with the last known functional version of the systems. You can easily build it out of machines that are deprecated with typical hardware upgrades, so the hardware doesn't even have to cost anything. Yes, it increases maintenance costs, but it means you never end up in a situation like this where you can't afford to have mission critical system down for even a short period of time.
 
Ah but you see, the Sysadmin grunt who fucked up isn't entirely responsible - we have too start with the retard/s who approved his PR in the first place. Then work your way up.
 
I work at an events venue (UK). Ticketing system has been down all day and IT have warned it might be the same until tomorrow. Other venues use the same software but host it in-house or whatever so they are operational - so we're getting angry show promoters asking why people can't buy a ticket here but they can at other venues. Can't even get on to see what seats are available, so even if the in-person POS machines aren't also fucked (no idea) it's not like we can manually write out tickets as we don't know where they can sit. Oh, and we went cashless after covid, so if the POS is down we def can't do anything.

Funny thing is that a couple of months ago our HOD said at some point we'd be looking at how we could operate in a case of massive tech failure, cyberattack etc. Our team knew we'd be fucked and this has shown it. The shows can still go ahead, but we can't sell any tickets or resolve any ticket issues that always crop up on the night.
I got Phish tickets for a week from now. This shit better be fixed by then I tell ya what.
 
Came into work and half of the computers, including mine, were stuck in a blue screen->reboot loop. The IT department of maybe 6 people had to manually unfuck an entire building's worth of devices. And even then, 70% of the sites we use are also fucked.
 
Hey so uh how does this affect just-in-time shipping for grocery stores and the like if at all.

You know that supply chain that never really got back on its feet... brb buying four carts of toilet paper
 
The exact same thing could happened with Linux
Linux is a sane OS that allows you to CHOOSE when you want to update your software. That's why you never hear this retarded shit happenin in the Linux ecosystem. Instead, it's retarded shit about GNOME or Red Hat trying to push their bullshit on everyone else, which is a lot more manageable and saner than Indians raping your computer with BSODs.
 
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