💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
caramel_carousel said:
I'm sorry if this has already been done, but I made a time lapse of Jack's YouTube videos (selecting one per year at random) so that you can see how he has aged and how each stroke affected him.
jack.mp4
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It is crazy to think about how he squandered the second chance he got when stroke 1.5 was only a warning shot.


Neko GF said:

PARMESAN CHICKEN​

(07/05/24)

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06cPreserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06c
PARMESAN CHICKEN.mp4
Click to expand...


I can't decide if this is more horrifying than the time he made "Butter Chicken" but instead of an Indian dish, he just cooked chicken thighs in a pound of butter and a giant can of cream of chicken soup.
 
Gulls on Film said:
I can't decide if this is more horrifying than the time he made "Butter Chicken" but instead of an Indian dish, he just cooked chicken thighs in a pound of butter and a giant can of cream of chicken soup.
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What Fatty attempted to cook in the butter chicken video is actually a thing that has nothing to do with India. Although I'm sure he'd fuck up murgh makhani as well, not that he'd be willing to cook it these days because "ew, tomatoes, not meat, gross"

jfc, this shit looks horrifying. says the "cheese gravy"(what the fuck even) is loose, yeah because it's a broken sauce you dumbfuck... and of course the cheese will chicken it... because it'll congeal. Needing your sauce to become a congealed mess just so it has a decent consistency is fucking disgusting. Random sneeze at 5:19, and then fatty talking with his mouth full after worrying about burning himself because he's an impatient retard who can't wait for food to cool off after he's blasted it on the stove and in the oven as fast as he can.
 
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Rod Dangerous said:
Janette Christensen, Tammy’s close and, perhaps, intimate friend.
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Better known as "Jane Traynor" as opposed to Jim Traynor who is Hammy's bull.

Neko GF said:

PARMESAN CHICKEN​

(07/05/24)

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06cPreserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06c
PARMESAN CHICKEN.mp4
Click to expand...
Still sperging about the bones or else the meat is fake.

And the end result still looks like shit. There's a decent recipe hiding in there but what he made was fucking disgusting.
 
Has anyone else noted that Jack himself is somebody's failed, rushed, disgusting-looking, unsalvageable recipe for a human being? He's God's own Party Cheese Salad.
 
That chicken has to be a war crime against several ethnicities and species of animals.

It always crack me up when those chef reaction channels tell people to not make fun of the person, that he's a nice guy when it's the opposite. Jack Scalfani is vile and delusional as both a person and a cook. He deserves to be made fun of for how he treats normal people trying to survive by doing low wage jobs.
 
Neko GF said:

PARMESAN CHICKEN​

(07/05/24)

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06cPreserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=wWM44PBk06c
PARMESAN CHICKEN.mp4
Click to expand...
"(All American Water) are the ones that prevented my kidney stones, by filtering my water in all my house"
Mush mouth 'my water in all my house' aside what the fuck is he on about? He was getting kidney stones and he thinks drinking filtered water helped? I think just drinking water and not fizzy drinks is what did it Jack
 
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AltisticRight said:
It always crack me up when those chef reaction channels tell people to not make fun of the person, that he's a nice guy when it's the opposite
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It's lipservice so they don't run afoul of youtube's stupid drama rules. The equivalent of "I'm not a financial advisor and this is not financial advice, btw boogie2988's crypto currency is dumb don't buy it"
 
Falcon Sebben said:
Better known as "Jane Traynor" as opposed to Jim Traynor who is Hammy's bull.


Still sperging about the bones or else the meat is fake.

And the end result still looks like shit. There's a decent recipe hiding in there but what he made was fucking disgusting.
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I think Jim Traynor dumped Hammy after Junior started trying to peek inside the upstairs (inaccessible to Jack) bedroom to see his muscles.


The only straight person in that house is Brianna.



BlastMonk said:
"(All American Water) are the ones that prevented by kidney stones, by filtering my water in all my house"
Mush mouth 'my water in all my house' aside what the fuck is he on about? He was getting kidney stones and he thinks drinking filtered water helped? I think just drinking water and not fizzy drinks is what did it Jack
Click to expand...

Jack alternately blames kidney stones and begetibles (broccoli specifically, oxylates you see) and tap water for his stones. It just depends on which is more convenient that week. WATER GUY with meme filters who is franchisee of some scammy “wanna start your own business and be your own boss?” Company is trying to understand how the internets can help his business in 2024. So this week it’s the water. Next week he will talk to his beluga head brother out in California and begins blaming vegetables again. I mean it couldn’t be his shit genetics, sedentary lifestyle or shit diet?
 
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That cheese gravy looks fucking foul. I guess you can't make a roux with meat flour or whatever other scam product Jack is currently shilling.
That sad broken congealed sauce is probably at least 50% fat per weight too. When he spoons it on to the plate you can see the water separating completely from the collected fats. Its like a kids science experiment.

1720276960980.png
 
Can this fat lazy fuck get anything right? Is the magical wand tool in Photoshop too hard to use? Look at how horrible this stock clipart chicken is.
aliasing.jpg
 
Quixotic Man said:
That cheese gravy looks fucking foul. I guess you can't make a roux with meat flour or whatever other scam product Jack is currently shilling.
That sad broken congealed sauce is probably at least 50% fat per weight too. When he spoons it on to the plate you can see the water separating completely from the collected fats. Its like a kids science experiment.

View attachment 6161161
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What Jack was looking for is Sauce Mornay. It's Roux with Cheese (Swiss Cheese preferrebaly) and Eggyolk.

Also the Crust looks like dogshit. Why didn't he pan-fried it to get an even result?
 
BlastMonk said:
"(All American Water) are the ones that prevented by kidney stones, by filtering my water in all my house"
Mush mouth 'my water in all my house' aside what the fuck is he on about? He was getting kidney stones and he thinks drinking filtered water helped? I think just drinking water and not fizzy drinks is what did it Jack
Click to expand...
Fatty blames the water in TN to be too hard which is why he constantly gets kidney stones. Problem is if that was the case Hendersonville would be ground zero for kidney stones as more people would be getting them. And yet... we don't see this.

You'd have to be drinking water that was loaded with minerals for this to be a problem. We're not just talking hard water, we're talking sludge. But like everything else in his life he needs to blame outside forces for his own problems which could be solved by eating properly, drinking plenty of water and exercising.

Uber driver reviewer said:
Jack alternately blames kidney stones and begetibles (broccoli specifically, oxylates you see) and tap water for his stones. It just depends on which is more convenient that week. WATER GUY with meme filters who is franchisee of some scammy “wanna start your own business and be your own boss?” Company is trying to understand how the internets can help his business in 2024. So this week it’s the water. Next week he will talk to his beluga head brother out in California and begins blaming vegetables again. I mean it couldn’t be his shit genetics, sedentary lifestyle or shit diet?
Click to expand...
I forgot the oxalates... which could be solved by drinking more water. But no, it's easier to blame broccoli because his brother Charles is an idiot.

Gulls on Film said:
Counterpoint: Jack was never able to make a roux.
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To be fair to Fatty, making a good roux takes a bit of practice. Ingredient wise it's simple as it's just fat and flour. But he couldn't make one because he's too lazy and it would come out lumpy and undercooked meaning it would have that "raw" flour taste to it. Or alternately he'd cook it too much.

densedance said:
What Jack was looking for is Sauce Mornay. It's Roux with Cheese (Swiss Cheese preferrebaly) and Eggyolk.
Click to expand...
While you could add an egg yolk to possibly thicken it up, the classic Mornay sauce doesn't use one. It's basically a Bechamel sauce with cheese and the classic way to make one is to use scalded milk that has been flavored with half an onion, some cloves and a bay leaf.

What Fatty made was... something nasty.
 
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