💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Falcon Sebben said:
Of all the things to review a fast food place where Fatty is supposed to not eat anything at all. But we all know he did. He just says, "this is carnivore" before tearing into his tendies and fries. But not the bread. You can't make that carnivore. Instead he just sucked the grease off of it like the monster he is.
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Have we considered that he might consider the breading to be seasoning? You can put bread crumbs into a shaker, after all. Rules lawyering your diet is how you know you're doing it correctly, right?
 
Kuritan Deplorable said:
Have we considered that he might consider the breading to be seasoning? You can put bread crumbs into a shaker, after all. Rules lawyering your diet is how you know you're doing it correctly, right?
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No, from back during the "keto" thing we got such abominations as crushed pork rind "breading".

He just doesn't care.
 
Kuritan Deplorable said:
Have we considered that he might consider the breading to be seasoning? You can put bread crumbs into a shaker, after all. Rules lawyering your diet is how you know you're doing it correctly, right?
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Not even Fatty is that stupid to try and defend that.

Sure he tried to get away with "seasonings" being okay that contain a fuckton of sugars and as you've seen how he jump dumps it on there he doesn't give a fuck. But I bet you if challenged in the comments of that video he'd say something like, "Tammy ate there. I didn't. Is that okay MOM!?" like the big fat man baby he is.
 
Screenshot 2024-03-21 at 3.22.20 PM.png

Jack is putting out some truly autistic merch. For 46 dollars you can own this piece of shit and hang it up in your garage .

Check this out:

Screenshot 2024-03-21 at 3.30.08 PM.png

What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
 
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EatBeforeYouEat said:
What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
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According to Etsy, anything that has any involvement from the seller in its creation is "handmade". That means just feeding a prompt into an AI art generator makes it "handmade", as is slapping some text onto some clipart. Not that Etsy cares anyway, it's plagued with counterfeits, Aliexpress/Temu resellers, pirated content, etc. and they don't seem to do anything about it.
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
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Even the description is half-assed and generic. If he wants to sell overpriced kitsch he needs to use the J. Peterman approach:

The Perfect Burger Horizontal Poster (no. 37075)

"The setting sun graced the Sangre de Cristo range with rich hues of ochre and gold as I journeyed along the dusty highway into town. Famished from my excursion seeking rare geodes on the Taos Plateau, I was willing to accept even the most base of sustenance to satiate my ravenous appetite.

However, the Fates smiled upon my circumstances and instead directed me to a small, but lively diner not far off the highway. There, on one fortunate diner's plate I spotted it, the perfect burger.

Lettuce as crisp as an autumn morning in Trondheim, tomatoes redder than any I've seen before, redder even than fiery saffron freshly gathered from a Persian garden. A thick beef patty grilled to perfection and topped with cheese, melted with such elegance it felt almost a blasphemy to consume it."
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
View attachment 5837034

Jack is putting out some truly autistic merch. For 46 dollars you can own this piece of shit and hang it up in your garage .

Check this out:

View attachment 5837053

What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
Click to expand...
I'm convinced he's at least had another mini stroke. Who the fuck would pay $72.73 for an AI "poster" of a hamburger?

The $72.73 reminds me of beggars who come up to you with a weirdly specific number, like "I need to get my medication, do you have $3.68?"
 
Screenshot_20240321-160744~2.png

So fat faggot is on to something!
Gurgling of course: 'Hey Siri, show me a perfect AI steak with mushroom toppings." And so on. And on and on and on ...
Over/under this retard as said " ... show me a perfect AI xyz food" or whatever the fuck over the past 10 days or so? I say OVER 179.5
I'm sure he's jacking off to these weirdo food pics like crazy. But ... oh no, he doesn't have a fetish for looking at food. What a liar and a total fucking loser. These AI pics look flat-out weird and completely unappetizing, especially the burger. Way over his balding head of course
 
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EatBeforeYouEat said:
View attachment 5837034

Jack is putting out some truly autistic merch. For 46 dollars you can own this piece of shit and hang it up in your garage .

Check this out:

View attachment 5837053

What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
Click to expand...

He really wants $72 for an AI picture of a cheeseburger? His brain must be scrambled or this is some weird scammy tax rip off scheme.
 
Hungry Homeless Handjob said:
View attachment 5836377

Jack's store has been up for eight days and there has still only been one sale (which was presumably Jack testing the system as he set it up).

What's the over-under for number of days before Jack makes a single actual sale? My bet is on "never".
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I would bet this year's Kiwi Farms janny salary from Null that the name of this shop was also suggested by AI.
It makes zero sense, what is a dilly? What does Jack Scalfani know about dolphins?

EatBeforeYouEat said:
View attachment 5837034

Jack is putting out some truly autistic merch. For 46 dollars you can own this piece of shit and hang it up in your garage .

Check this out:

View attachment 5837053

What is "handmade" about this? And how is he deciding on the prices for this garbage?
Click to expand...
A couple shitty posters with AI generated images and he wants over $50 for it. Utter insanity.
wtf.jpg
Look at the tomato slices, what tomato slice looks like this? Did someone cut out an arc to make it shaped like a ven diagram？
What is going on with that cheese? No cheese melts like that, it's not even a square.
Gotta love that random drizzle of yellow sauce dripping from inside the buns, and those weird droplets of tomato sauce only on one side.
Why are there salt flakes in the back, what? This isn't a steak.
Who puts tomato sauce on a burger with tomatoes already? Oh yeah, Jack does.

Even Jack Scalfani's AI food looks inedible.
 
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