Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys

[AnOminous]

It's named Mule because Moscow Mules use it. It's used in other drinks also IIRC.

My favorite is the Dark & Stormy, which in its simplest form is just dark rum and ginger beer (preferably strong), although you can throw in a lime slice, bitters, candied ginger, etc. if you feel like getting fancy about it instead of just drinking it from a Dixie cup.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

This subhuman makes the grossest shit for niggers and hood rats. I don't know who genuinely eats this shit

if only this wasnt a food thread so i could unleash my full racist powers… oh well. im sure we’re all thinking it

Thread tax: I’m not sure if this fits the bill, but I saw a can of diced jalapeños at the store recently for several dollars, even more expensive than just buying a few full peppers. I found it strange because the can was absolutely miniscule. If you’ve ever seen those really tiny cans of wet cat food packaged like tuna, they were about the same size. I could understand buying diced jalapeños just to skip the hassle of cutting it up yourself, but for an up-charge of several dollars plus presumably a downgrade in quality? I don’t get it. Just cut the peppers yourself at that point. And this wasn’t a luxury brand name or anything, just the generic store brand. Who buys this?

 

[DenseDeerFather]

If you mean canned confit de canard, that's almost exclusively for cassoulet, at least as far as I know. And a lot of the kind of people who make something like that insist on making the confit themselves, too.

Yes, it's exactly that. The stores got that in buckets but no one buys for that. At least not anymore.

I've had it (didn't pay for it, mind you) and it was not a cassoulet. It was oven-roasted, then served with potatoes, a salad, and toasted nuts. I think there were cranberries and gravy with it too. Was pretty good.

Anyway, thread tax: Small grocery stores here sell home article items and I've never seen anyone buy them which is a shame because they are pretty nifty and handy if you live far away from IKEA or some other store like that. I guess it's the attitude; our version of Wall-mart may not be looked that fondly upon when it comes to home articles unless it's candles.

I feel like I'm the only one who buys bed linen there. Idgaf, it's good linen.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Slim Jims. I absolutely cannot comprehend why anyone would eat a Slim Jim in the modern era. They're gross and oily and yet when you start chewing the damn thing just dries your mouth out.

If you need to eat crappy minced Jerky you can buy Jack Link's Beef Jerky tubes which might cost more but is such a better shitty gas station food.

 

[PFM]

if only this wasnt a food thread so i could unleash my full racist powers… oh well. im sure we’re all thinking it

Thread tax: I’m not sure if this fits the bill, but I saw a can of diced jalapeños at the store recently for several dollars, even more expensive than just buying a few full peppers. I found it strange because the can was absolutely miniscule. If you’ve ever seen those really tiny cans of wet cat food packaged like tuna, they were about the same size. I could understand buying diced jalapeños just to skip the hassle of cutting it up yourself, but for an up-charge of several dollars plus presumably a downgrade in quality? I don’t get it. Just cut the peppers yourself at that point. And this wasn’t a luxury brand name or anything, just the generic store brand. Who buys this?

They're convenient to have on hand. I have a couple full racks of various canned foods so if I dream up something for dinner I have the ingredients to make it instead of planning ahead and going to the grocery store.
Same thing with canned sliced mushrooms, green chiles, potatoes, tomatoes, black olives etc etc....

 

[Mean Feen]

I don't think I have seen the bagged frozen fish at my grocery store move out of its tightly-stacked position in years.

 

[Some Badger]

I once bought some watermelon juice a few years back because I generally like watermelon-flavored anything, only to find the taste to be hideously saccharine. Maybe you can use it make smoothies or something, but watermelon does not work well as a juice at all. I also have no idea how tomatillos can take up massive parts of produce shelves in the way they do in my area, much less how any of the spics who move over here can afford them, since they're always like $7 each.

I work at a small health food grocery store that sells a lot of weird stuff, but perhaps the weirdest thing we carry is frozen camel milk. When we do carry it, we tend to sell about one a month. It's apparently supposed to be really good for you, but it is 20 dollars a bottle which is a lot.

Never underestimate the spending habits of middle class white women and their adherence to weird dietary reccomendations by Gweneth Paltrow and influencers of her ilk. You could probably convince the average health food shopper to eat sun-dried bovine placenta if you dressed it up nice and pretty in an Instagram reel.

 

[PFM]

I once bought some watermelon juice a few years back because I generally like watermelon-flavored anything, only to find the taste to be hideously saccharine. Maybe you can use it make smoothies or something, but watermelon does not work well as a juice at all.

Try making some Agua Fresca sometime.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Slim Jims. I absolutely cannot comprehend why anyone would eat a Slim Jim in the modern era. They're gross and oily and yet when you start chewing the damn thing just dries your mouth out.

If you need to eat crappy minced Jerky you can buy Jack Link's Beef Jerky tubes which might cost more but is such a better shitty gas station food.

Used to devour Slim Jims as a kid. Last time I had one as an adult it tasted like greasy, unwashed dick. Gross fucking things.

Tax: who the hell buys Good ‘n Plenty? Easily the worst (no hyperbole, the worst) candy I’ve ever had. Even if you like licorice there are so many other better choices for licorice or licorice flavored candy out there.

 

[Valstrax]

I know I said it in another thread, but that "JUST Egg" vegan shit. I have never seen a single bottle be removed by a living human being at my grocery store before.

 

[Here to Gawk]

Thread tax: I’m not sure if this fits the bill, but I saw a can of diced jalapeños at the store recently for several dollars, even more expensive than just buying a few full peppers. I found it strange because the can was absolutely miniscule. If you’ve ever seen those really tiny cans of wet cat food packaged like tuna, they were about the same size. I could understand buying diced jalapeños just to skip the hassle of cutting it up yourself, but for an up-charge of several dollars plus presumably a downgrade in quality? I don’t get it. Just cut the peppers yourself at that point. And this wasn’t a luxury brand name or anything, just the generic store brand. Who buys this?

I've bought canned jalapenos before. The first few times I purchased them was when I was a cooking noob and blindly following recipes that called for using canned peppers. Later, I realized their value from a prepper perspective of always having a stockpile of hot peppers available in the pantry. Yeah, it's obviously not ideal as having them fresh, but if there's a shortage at the grocery store or multi-day power outage that takes out the refrigeration or if you forgot to buy them awhile grocery shopping, then at least they're there as a backup.

 

[Midwit]

is it like ginger beer? bongs would maybe like it

Bong here, I used to buy it occasionally at the local discount store since I don't hate ginger beer but it's far from my favourite Monster flavour. I also saw that someone posted Mr. Brains Pork Faggots much earlier in the thread, from actually trying some I can safely assume they're bought by and for old people who can't chew anymore since the "meat" is so mushy that when I ate it the mashed potatoes I was having it with somehow had more substance to them. I would not recommend.

For food I don't get the point of, those pre-packaged supermarket 'meal deals' for people who are somehow too lazy to pack themselves a sandwich and a bag of crisps for their lunch break.

 

[Boggy B]

Wholegrain mustard. Yeah, good one. Put mustard on the shelf that's inferior to every mustard around it. If I wanted to guzzle seed with my meals, I'd have bought orange fanta instead.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Wholegrain mustard. Yeah, good one. Put mustard on the shelf that's inferior to every mustard around it. If I wanted to guzzle seed with my meals, I'd have bought orange fanta instead.

Reminds me of Peanut Butter, some chunkiness is nice but I don’t want 50/50 Nuts to Paste ratio. Having some grains can give a nice appearance, as Gordon Ramsay would say a “rustic” quality. But yeah nothing but seeds is weird.

This would be more controversial but we’re discussing condiments. When Relish looks radioactive green it’s revolting. Like it belongs in a chemical waste plant. Chicago style foods are either genius or a culinary crime. An “Italian Beef” is a god tier sammich and then you got shit like their deep dish pizza and hot dogs. A city that wants to fool itself that it’s the height of American culture and then makes ridiculous goyslop.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I know I said it in another thread, but that "JUST Egg" vegan shit. I have never seen a single bottle be removed by a living human being at my grocery store before.

Just Egg is great, the taste is milder than real eggs so you can season it however you like. The problem with that product is that it looks like a bottle of mustard and often isn't shelved with other egg substitutes.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Slim Jims. I absolutely cannot comprehend why anyone would eat a Slim Jim in the modern era. They're gross and oily and yet when you start chewing the damn thing just dries your mouth out.

If you need to eat crappy minced Jerky you can buy Jack Link's Beef Jerky tubes which might cost more but is such a better shitty gas station food.

I thought it was because of the Randy Savage commercials that some people still have nostalgia for.

Thread tax: do food service delivery count? Not door dash or grubhub but expensive burger helper? Becusee Hello Fresh is barely a thing here. I have one family member who used it for a few months and he gave me a free pack but I've never actually seen anyone talk about it, let alone use it regularly.

 

[Valstrax]

Just Egg is great, the taste is milder than real eggs so you can season it however you like. The problem with that product is that it looks like a bottle of mustard and often isn't shelved with other egg substitutes.

I'm honestly surprised you genuinely like the stuff, I usually feel repulsed by foods that try to be the "vegan" equivalent to stuff like meat and whatever. I like almond milk but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy some unless it was on sale, and even then it would just be for smoothie drinks. Do you have any opinions on that Beyond Meat shit? I saw some while I was at the store the other day.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I'm honestly surprised you genuinely like the stuff, I usually feel repulsed by foods that try to be the "vegan" equivalent to stuff like meat and whatever. I like almond milk but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy some unless it was on sale, and even then it would just be for smoothie drinks. Do you have any opinions on that Beyond Meat shit? I saw some while I was at the store the other day.

Meat has a more complex texture and flavor that vegan food companies haven't been able to figure out yet, with the exception of substitutes for highly processed chicken patties and the like which kids can't distinguish from the "real" thing. Just Egg is also a bit different because it's an ingredient, not the whole meal.

 

[Slap47]

I'm honestly surprised you genuinely like the stuff, I usually feel repulsed by foods that try to be the "vegan" equivalent to stuff like meat and whatever. I like almond milk but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy some unless it was on sale, and even then it would just be for smoothie drinks. Do you have any opinions on that Beyond Meat shit? I saw some while I was at the store the other day.

Vegetarian burgers that do not even pretend to be emulating meat are actually pretty good. They also can be a pretty good value.

 

[Astro Loafo]

Do people really buy canned vegetables or pasta? Like no cap that's disgusting