Few things on /r/translater leave me speechless, but this makeup disaster did
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Holy shit
How are these people so bad at applying makeup? The equivalent of this is a toddler painting a house onto paper, there's no concept of anything beyond basic shapes and filling in with bright colours.
I've applied makeup to myself once in my life, me and my girlfriend were staying away at a lodge and had been drinking through the day, as we were getting ready to go out for the evening I thought it would be a laugh to tart myself up.
I applied what I believe was some kind of foundation to my face, and then dabbed a bit of blusher onto my cheeks with a brush. The lipstick I tried to apply only to my lips, and then sort of smudged it to the areas I didn't trust my untrained hand to reach. The eyeshadow I knew would be an issue, so I just added enough for it to be visible and called it a day, I blended it with my finger to further minimise the impact. I fucked the mascara up completely, that shit is sticky, after realising this I dabed around a bit with the wand to try and even things up, but ultimately accepted that any further attempts to fix things would just lead to even worse results, so I called it a day.
Now I looked like a total faggot, but I was quite pleased with how well I managed to apply things where I wanted them and maintain subtlety with shading on my cheeks and eyes, the mascara was a mess but I suppose if I ever took up being a faggot full time I would invest in some non-dramatic fake eyelashes.
I digress, what was all a bit of a laugh turned to dispare when I entered public life for real, it isn't fun sitting in a bar with complete strangers, looking like a sexual deviant, no ammount of whisky was going to remedy that. My girlfriends refusal to go to the bar, forcing me to confront the world head on much to her amusement, cemented the fact that not even as a joke would I be doing this again. Nobody says anything, but you can see in there eyes that even as a stranger they are deeply dissapointed in you.