💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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I'm new to this...I didn't know it'd take Niki being "mousey" literally and put the sunglasses on her face, but I do like the outcome.

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Edit: this one's actually a pretty good likeness of Rick:

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Edit 2:

"I'm into things"

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Pepperonified said:
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I think he got those confused with foods since the first one probably makes him think of peanut butter and jam. There's no way he's ever trained any anything because he's a fat lazy piece of shit.

Majority of the people who claim they learned Krav Maga wouldn't have a clue on where to look for someone to teach them, learn Systema instead. All Krav Maga teaches you is how to be paranoid when entering a room. Kendo is all but useless to learn, you'll get more of a workout learning Harnischfechten. Akido nowadays is often seen as a joke and was a joke when he wrote that Tweet.

Pepperonified said:
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I think he got those confused with foods since the first one probably makes him think of peanut butter and jam. There's no way he's ever trained any anything because he's a fat lazy piece of shit.

Majority of the people who claim they learned Krav Maga wouldn't have a clue on where to look for someone to teach them, learn Systema instead. All Krav Maga teaches you is how to be paranoid when entering a room. Kendo is all but useless to learn, you'll get more of a workout learning Harnischfechten. Akido nowadays is often seen as a joke and was a joke when he wrote that Tweet.
Piggle Rick said:
Piggy is making more friends on X, commenting on that guy who shot some enviro protestors. Maybe instead of saying some people gotta work, they should have pointed out that some people gotta get to a bar?

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Patrick fails to know that that mine is something like 5% of that countries economic activity. People have no time for protestors who want to ruin another mans life. They're not paying his bills while they protest so fuck them.
 
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AnOminous said:
While it's almost a general rule that anyone who boasts of martial arts expertise is a fat fuck with noodly arms, it's a near absolute 100% fact that the biggest load of bullshido is when someone claims Krav Maga. Two cases in point: Fat Rick and Tommy Tooter.
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Sure. I don't believe that flabby fucker did more than watch Jackie Chan films as a kid.

My point was, however, Krav Maga practitioners all get membership cards and numbers. Just asking him for a blurred out screenshot/photo of his membership card and proof of level of insurance would be enough to put it to bed without his usual "It is your delusion, stlaker child". It's a discipline which was not only formed within living memory, but actually has directly attributable lines.
 
Chukipz said:
Sure. I don't believe that flabby fucker did more than watch Jackie Chan films as a kid.

My point was, however, Krav Maga practitioners all get membership cards and numbers. Just asking him for a blurred out screenshot/photo of his membership card and proof of level of insurance would be enough to put it to bed without his usual "It is your delusion, stlaker child". It's a discipline which was not only formed within living memory, but actually has directly attributable lines.
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There is zero chance he would do that. Firstly because he’s fatly lying, and secondly because whoever asked him to show it would get “noooo child, enjoy prison, Robert!”
 
I thought up some funnies last night
There was once a Soviet science fiction book called Roadside Picnic (which while I haven't actually read it is is undoubtedly better than anything fatrick could ever write), it would go on to inspire a video game series called Stalker (Stylized as S.T.A.L.K.E.R). I thought of some alternate, Rick related titles.

Stalker: Shadow of Black Children consumed by Rick
Stalker: Shadow of court costs
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Stalker: Black Guy who farts in Nicki's Vagina (I'll admit this one is a stretch)
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Stalker: Child of Prongay
Stalker: Cucked by Pringles Can John
Stalker: Child of Prison
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The games also feature enemies that bear an uncanny resemblance to Fatrick
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Sausage is also a prominent consumable item throughout the series
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Piggle Rick said:
Please don’t. There’s a transgender space crab. That’s enough.
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He’s got one in Starship Repo. There’s some thrilling passages about the huge male claw the space crab has and how everyone who knows about space crabs can tell it’s make because of the huge claw. But FirstName Lastname gives an inspiring speech about tolerance and being your authentic self (even when you’re clearly a hugely male space crab).

It’s unintentional by Patrick but he even got the next part right, the space crab goes and violently attacks people on the gambling ship. Has Pat been reading the Rat King forum?
 
AGPinochet said:
I thought up some funnies last night
There was once a Soviet science fiction book called Roadside Picnic (which while I haven't actually read it is is undoubtedly better than anything fatrick could ever write), it would go on to inspire a video game series called Stalker (Stylized as S.T.A.L.K.E.R). I thought of some alternate, Rick related titles.

Stalker: Shadow of Black Children consumed by Rick
Stalker: Shadow of court costs
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Stalker: Black Guy who farts in Nicki's Vagina (I'll admit this one is a stretch)
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Stalker: Child of Prongay
Stalker: Cucked by Pringles Can John
Stalker: Child of Prison
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The games also feature enemies that bear an uncanny resemblance to Fatrick
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Sausage is also a prominent consumable item throughout the series
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Roadside Picnic is one of my favorite sci-fi novels and a classic of the genre, all the more notable because it was produced under the watchful eyes and red pens of Soviet censors. You could give Pat from now until the heat death of the universe and I don't think he'd be able to produce something a tenth as good.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
Roadside Picnic is one of my favorite sci-fi novels and a classic of the genre, all the more notable because it was produced under the watchful eyes and red pens of Soviet censors. You could give Pat from now until the heat death of the universe and I don't think he'd be able to produce something a tenth as good.
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It’s like a Philip K. Dick novel, (a name Fatrick wouldn’t recognize) from behind the iron curtain. The issues the Strugatsky brothers ran into when trying to get it published reflect the changes in media we’re seeing today.
 
I present a reading from the Ribs Veda
8.XLVIII.3
We have drunk the milk and become immortal; we have attained the lols; the Gods discovered.
Now what may a Fatman's malice do to sue us? What, O Immortal, Fat Rick's deceptions?
 
AnOminous said:
And there were usually 1000 words of lore only some of which ever ended up behind covers in things like the Silmarillion, although Christopher Tolkien made a career out of just curating it.

Someone like Piggy who tosses off zero effort garbage doesn't have an excuse.
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Thanks, now I'm visualizing poor Annabell having to curate her worthless father's bibliography of 200,000 tweets and attempt to weave together some sort of narrative insight into the world of Patrick S. Tomlinson.
 
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