🤝 Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[BelUwUga]

Consider closing the door.

It's like she lives in a barn or something! Oh wait... Great work again!

 

[Gengar]

And what exactly are YOU good at, besides posting shit on a niche internet forum? Are you not capable of understanding the concept of having sympathy for other human beings? What kind of sick freak says someone is "good at" having a "truly broken personality"? Nobody outside of the farms thinks any of this is funny or entertaining, they think it's fucked up that you people are so invested in the lives of online strangers, that you chronicle their every move and rip them to shreds over years-old mistakes.

While extremely unlikely, imagine if Kellen too-enthusiastically created a persona to weasel herself in exclusive and private munchie spaces to get a scoop of that exclusive milk while the rest of us just have to fit the puzzle pieces from various Instagram & Facebook posts. That makes Kellen an extremely autistic, very dedicated and Verified Leak-branded kiwi, which is why she's upset you guiz blew off her cover because dammit how is she gonna get lolcow content now?!

Certainly impossible... but a funny thought to entertain.

 

[Quack_Quack]

Once everyone has moved on, "Kellen" feels the need to barge in and make sure we remember her. It's almost like there's a Cluster B disorder involved....

Histrionics aside, this was the funniest thing I've ever read.

It's obvious Kellen needs a reminder in how to people. Because they clearly suffer from main character syndrome.

The bit that got me, is, of course, trying to bait @Kate Farms Shill . It's obvious she lives to scrape social media and has fingers in so many pies, yet Vampy thought they could hide their disjointed rambling and reeing about things Farmers didn't know. Of course Kate knows, she's like the omniscient reporter of munchie life, you can't get shit past her.

Kellen, life is a cycle. For you, that's one of batshittery and discovery, with associated chimping out. Did you really think your secret would be safe within that ticking time bomb of you?

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

The bit that got me, is, of course, trying to bait @Kate Farms Shill .

I hate to use the term "rent free" but it kind of seems to be the case here. There's someone who has been going through this thread reading all my deep dives and chatting with me along the way. They discovered something really funny:




On January 19 Kellen used her super secret sock to negrate all my posts about her. I have sticker notifs turned off so I never saw it. I even went back through the server to see if I'd mouthed off at her in there and she was retaliating. Nope, I was talking about what a pain in the ass Jamie Bruce was to archive.

 

[Rich Evans Simp]

Ugly girls with rich parents, a heady lolcow brew

 

[GainsGoblin]

I feel like KFS has identified another variant of the gymnast-to-munchie pipeline with Abreva/Flirty. It looks like Abreva’s life prior to descending into mini-horse madness was characterized mostly by performance piano, which is not only super demanding to get a graduate degree in but will result in a legit performance career for the very, very few. If you were genuinely hoping for a performance career, the other career options (which basically boil down to teaching, which is frankly a garbage job to have in the US right now) are going to be extremely disappointing. Also, Teaching isn’t playing. It’s a totally different field and skill set. And like the would-be child Olympian gymnasts who finish high school and figure out that they wasted their youth (and health) on something they can no longer pursue or transform into a real career, the let down has gotta be REAL. Admitting that would basically mean admitting that you have to start building a career over from scratch, which must be extra difficult if you don’t even really know who you are outside of this intense childhood activity. On top of that, because they have only ever known rigorously competitive perfectionism, they probably don’t realize that they don’t have to put in even half of much effort into becoming, say, an accountant, as they put into their ballet/gymnastics/ice dancing/piano.

When I think about it that way, it makes sense that they just look for a way to drop out of life. They already have the physical and mental health issues that come from the pursuing their niche passions, might as well milk it so you don’t have to actually do-over your life.

Moral of the story: don’t try to make your kids sports/hobbies into careers, lest they end up obese and sleeping in horse piss.

 

[glass_houses]

I feel like KFS has identified another variant of the gymnast-to-munchie pipeline with Abreva/Flirty. It looks like Abreva’s life prior to descending into mini-horse madness was characterized mostly by performance piano, which is not only super demanding to get a graduate degree in but will result in a legit performance career for the very, very few. If you were genuinely hoping for a performance career, the other career options (which basically boil down to teaching, which is frankly a garbage job to have in the US right now) are going to be extremely disappointing. Also, Teaching isn’t playing. It’s a totally different field and skill set. And like the would-be child Olympian gymnasts who finish high school and figure out that they wasted their youth (and health) on something they can no longer pursue or transform into a real career, the let down has gotta be REAL. Admitting that would basically mean admitting that you have to start building a career over from scratch, which must be extra difficult if you don’t even really know who you are outside of this intense childhood activity. On top of that, because they have only ever known rigorously competitive perfectionism, they probably don’t realize that they don’t have to put in even half of much effort into becoming, say, an accountant, as they put into their ballet/gymnastics/ice dancing/piano.

When I think about it that way, it makes sense that they just look for a way to drop out of life. They already have the physical and mental health issues that come from the pursuing their niche passions, might as well milk it so you don’t have to actually do-over your life.

Moral of the story: don’t try to make your kids sports/hobbies into careers, lest they end up obese and sleeping in horse piss.

Have you ever seen the 2001 movie The Piano Teacher, or read the 1983 book it's based on? It's fiction and a pretty messed up story in general, but it depicts the aftermath of failure to 'make it' extremely well, and how psychotic and enmeshed the parents have to be to do that sort of shit to their kids.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Schuyler is Jewish

Is she the wheelchair model femme pooner?

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Is she the wheelchair model femme pooner?

Nah Schuyler is Shelby's new woman/caretaker after Jaina left her. She used to be a weight loss account, disappeared for two years, and reappeared as the bopo fat woman-slave to a munchie pooner. Wears shirts that let everyone know she likes pussy and talks about her masturbation habits too often. You know the type.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

He doesn’t independently come to her for comfort because all she does is hurt him.

I wouldn't either, all she does is choke him out with prongs.

she does the BPD suicide tantrum thing again and books herself a 72 hour stay at the Hotel d’ Grippy Sock.

Only the finest for our hams.

I have no idea what the fuck parsel tongue is

It is a mystical snek language from Hairy Potty.

comment where someone asks how old Sam is and when he started training and Abrea lets an incorrect answer be given. We know from Jadeynn that Sam was a 1+ year old unsocialized terrified shelter mutt when she got him and his “training” was pretty much having a vest put on and being taken around campus despite his visible distress.

Don't forget the fucking prong.

When someone says a puppy who can’t heel on leash should not be off leash Jadeynn gets shitty.

What a mean toad.

What is wrong with the girl in short's legs? Weird marks.

people are very ableist because it’s obvious that an akita, a mini horse, and a puppy having a tantrum are not doing anything for their allegedly disabled handlers except draw attention.

https://ghostarchive.org/varchive/tFlab1dZCqI

But here Flirty gives a “sassy kick” when Abrea tries to call her back into the house and that would be head-high to a little kid who grabbed the horsie's tail. She also says she doesn’t need any exercise before working.

I wouldn't want to be locked in a makeshift horse pen with that shebeast either.

Look how fucking happy this little horse is when she has space to run. You can’t tell me she is getting enough exercise walking back and forth in a 10 foot space and occasionally being dragged to a store.

It's legit abuse. It's so bittersweet happy to see Flirty running like a normal horse.

She was supposed to take her literal dog and pony show to Comicon but it got cancelled for spooky virus. Abrea claims her basic bitch asthma makes her much more likely to die if she catches it.

Her obesity might.

Fatty fall down go boom.

Give horsie heart attack.

People are capable of change and moving on. Kellen is not making any posts about their health or personal life, and you people are still bringing them up as if they're the same person they were years ago.

I could tell it was her sock from the first comment because she is respecting Kellen's they/him pronouns when she's clearly female.

Flirty and her tormentors

Accurate.

Her horse tries to eat snacks in the grocery store. Abrea has to buy junk food she doesn't want because the horse can't help but try to graze on things.

Well that's an excuse to buy junk.

And she told us her boyfriend had plugged a very long extension into her J-tube and without her knowledge or consent he had pumped vodka directly into her jejunum to make her fall asleep. When people raised concerns about the ethics of putting like 8 shots of vodka into her intestine in one giant dose against her consent and why her boyfriend was trying to make her pass out, she got even more defensive and weird about it.

Could she even try to be normal? You should be happy people are seeing you are being abused by forced intoxication if this were real.

My aunt died here’s a post about my dog and how I was a cunt to anyone who tried to pet my dog when they were sad.

How dare those grieving people be comforted by my dog? I am special and my dog is an object!

Dear Jadeynn, out of context vocal yawns like that are often a distress call. You dog is anxious.

Her amphibian brain does not understand mammal.distress signals.

Copper is a complete fucking basketcase. Myranda has posted more than once about her plans to euthanise him because of his behavior. Her roommate/adoptive father Cory has been trying to rehome him before Myranda has a chance to kill him. (For the record, she also tried to euthanise Jessabelle for embarrassing her and even booked an appointment but her roommate made her do a trial rehoming. Away from Myranda Jessabelle did fine.)

Imagine even considering euthanizing a dog for embarrassing you. Sociopathic.

Myranda told Jadeynn to get her dog the hell away from him. She also says that jadeynn hits Löfte so hard her hips collapsed and corrects her so harshly the dog screams in pain.

I believe it. Do you see mercy in a toad's eyes?

Before getting a large dog she would have never been able to buy juice at the grocery store because of her crippling anxiety.

She doesn't need juice. She needs water and a diet.

She works with retards now. She must fit right in! But seriously imagine claiming you need an autism and PTSD service dog when you’re surrounded by people who need serious support because of their real intellectual disabilities.

I think I would legitimately fear her if I had an ID. She looks like a bad creature in a fairytale.

She started with australian cattle dogs she trained as SDs for PTSD and “avacado alert” by which she means she trained the dog to sniff food and alert her if there’s avocado in it. How often do you accidentally eat something with avocado in it, seriously?

It's like that Asian chick's rotten goat milk alert.

I do not like this obese woman leaning her weight on this little horse. (and she admits Flirty didn’t do what she was supposed to do anyway so how is this a task?

Crushing an animals spine for fun.

Flirty gets sick after her vaccine appointment. A sick horse is a horse that doesn’t eat is a dead horse, so she has to have an emergency visit.

That is the saddest looking horse I've ever seen.

Muslims can’t have guide dogs because Allah says puppydogs are haram, another reason islam is the worst religion.

Of course a religion founded by a pedophile would have bad takes.

All that travel and commotion wears Flirty out and she has colic again. She’s kept overnight at the ER vet.

2nd saddest looking horse ever.

I’m amazed the thing is still alive. What she is doing is outright animal abuse.

I concur 100 percent. Flirty deserves so much more. Beautiful for a mini too, who are usually inbred mutant dwarfs.

 

[girlblogging]

Continuation to this post

Final Update: Things escalated with my brother’s (27m) girlfriend (26f) who has an “alter” of my child.​

Spoiler

I’m 34m, wife is 32f, brother is 27m and brothers girlfriend is 26f. My wife and I recently found my brothers girlfriend in our 3 year old daughters room. She refused to leave and was insisting her name was my daughters. We found out she is convinced she has Dissociative Identity Disorder, and one of her “alters” is my daughter.

This is probably going to be my last update because we have since cut off all contact with her and my brother, and are in contact with the police. She refused to get inpatient psychiatric help willingly, but her family put her under a 5150.

Long story short, she approached our child while she was at the park with the nanny. Luckily, the nanny knows about the situation and removed our daughter immediately, contacted the police, and then contacted us. She tried to tell our nanny that we had told her to pick up our daughter and take her to her grandmothers house. She waited until it was close to the end of our nanny’s shift to make it more believable. Luckily the nanny didn’t even engage with her. She just picked up our daughter and walked away, recording the entire incident to have proof. She ran after the nanny, telling our daughter “go ahead Avalyn, tell her you know me! We’re going to go to grandmas!”

Her family told us that there’ll has never been I any abuse in the family. She has never claimed to them that she has DID, though they have long suspected she has histrionic personality disorder.

My brother has not contacted us since this happened but my wife doesn’t want contact with him anyway, and I agree with her.

Again, thanks for all of your advice and well wishes. Though she’s never allowed around my family again, I’m incredibly happy she’s getting the help she needs and hope her recovery and treatment go well for her, and I wish her the best.

ETA We have cameras and have installed more after the first incident on the perimeter of our property as well as outside of our children’s rooms. We’re in the process of getting a restraining order. We have given our nanny a large raise. We are beyond thankful for her quick and rational thinking.

Source
(too lazy to archive, sorry)

And a BORU thread

I personally think it's creative writing, but nonetheless it's nice to see normies rebel against the DID nonsense.

 

[GenociderSyo]

I personally think it's creative writing, but nonetheless it's nice to see normies rebel against the DID nonsense.

She wouldnt be the first one to lie about having DID to get shit she wants which appears to be kidnapping their child.

 

[unexpected onions]

Yeah, that story is fake. It's clearly written by a woman.

 

[glass_houses]

Yeah, that story is fake. It's clearly written by a woman.

You think so? Ever read the Final Fantasy House Saga?

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

You think so? Ever read the Final Fantasy House Saga?

Final Fantasy House was amazing. When the alcoholic tranny is the normal one you know you're in for a good time.

 

[OrSoHelpMe]

Something’s wrong with that woman, but as long as she wants that thing to be DID, a 5150’s not going to be able to help her.

 

[Bees]

It’s clearly fake because they tell you the kid’s weird-ass name with a you’nicke spelling. You don’t dox your kid on Reddit when you’re afraid if it being kidnapped.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

It’s clearly fake because they tell you the kid’s weird-ass name with a you’nicke spelling. You don’t dox your kid on Reddit when you’re afraid if it being kidnapped.

The throwaway line at the very end about how of course "we've given our nanny a very large raise" and the nonsense about installing additional cameras outside the children's rooms convinced me that it's a work of fiction. I don't know why those particular details struck me as so clearly false.

Knowing Reddit, it's probably an erotic fantasy written by a sweaty, hulking genderspecial who had to type the whole thing one-handed so as not to interrupt his frenetic wanking paroxysm.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Alright here goes the most autistic thing I have done in a while? in July 2019 I did a two-part timeline of My Queen, Amanda "Skinwalker" Winig. It was the longest most ambitious one I'd ever attempted at the time and I was extremely proud of it. But I cut out a ton of content because I didn't think anyone wanted to read even the two posts I made, and over time i've been less and less thrilled with it. Amateurish. Tons of speculation. Large bits of lore I totally missed. So three years later, I'm doing it over.

Amanda Louise Winig has been my favorite munchie of all time since the day she was first discovered by Lolcow Farms. I don’t know why she fascinated me so much. Maybe it was that she was so blatant about skinwalking and I hadn’t yet realized how integral that was to instaspoonie culture. Maybe it’s because she was only around for a few short months between when she was first posted to the thread and when she DFE’d and I was left scrambling to find traces of what she was. Or maybe it really is, as I joke often, a horribly misdirected crush I should be more ashamed of. To say Amanda inspired me is an understatement. Her social media disappearing is why I started archiving everyone. My kiwifarms account was named for her, she was my first avatar, and part of the reason I became way more active after years of lurking was because in the aftermath of Jaquie’s death I had an opportunity to bring her up here hoping someone else felt the same pang of nostalgia. She, way more than Jaquie, is why I fixated on the Florida munchies and Trevino. I wasn’t looking to document them so much as I was hoping that I’d find Amanda lurking in their accounts.

And so here is my ultimate tribute to her. Maybe I’ll finally get it out of my system. Not likely, but anything’s possible.

Spoiler: a love letter

Amanda was born on July 30, 1990. Her father was in the Air Force and likely stationed at Buckley AFB in Aurora, CO.


We know she was born in Aurora because she told us when she decided to make the Dark Knight theater shooting where 11 were killed and 70 injured about herself, then remind us her birthday was coming up soon. Welcome to Amanda.


In 1993 the family was transferred to Kadena AFB in Okinawa, Japan where they remained for four years.


Here’s her sister in the Kadena Elementary yearbooks.


And here’s Kindergarten Amanda in 1996. Cute as a goddamned button. They also have a younger brother Josh but he was born in 2000.


Once her father was discharged, they moved to Columbus, Nebraska, where she spent most of her life. her father became an instrument technician for a food processing megacorp. Her mother became an animal control officer and there’s a couple dozen articles that either quote her or were written by her because of this. Here’s an early one where she tries to find a home for some heckin’ adorable puppos at the shelter.


One about cats living in the sewers. There's a bunch and they're really boring. Don't fuck with wildlife, get your animals rabies vaccinated, don't leave your dog in a hot car.


Here’s a lil article about her sister volunteering in an animal shelter and how they brought a dog home from Japan.


Amanda seemed to be a normal youngster. She was in girl scouts and loved camping.


She attended Columbus High School.


Here’s an article from 2006 where she’s in some silly stage skit


2007 where she’s listed in the cast of her school musical.


She won third place in a statewide contest by SkillsUSA.


she wrote a youth column for the newspaper although I can’t find any of her articles except this sign off from her senior year.


She made the honor roll.


And graduated in 2008.


she was raised extremely religious and loved to talk about it. When I documented her still-somewhat-public facebook back in 2019 this was the oldest post I could dig up, about a mission trip to Minneapolis and how she is so much better and stronger than other people who went on the mission. You see, they just went for an adventure and to see their friends whereas she went for the selfless reason of wanting to help people. The sole commenter says it all


Here’s our heroine. She’s a perfectly average looking young white American woman.


In 2007, while she was still in high school, her friend Jessica died in a car accident. The memorial post Amanda made for this woman in 2009 is all about how the dead girl looked up to Amanda and how great she was to be this woman’s inspiration.


She made a longer post about how that day affected her. She went to work where she was told by a friend that Jessica had died. She tried to leave work but her boss said no and called her mom who made her stay. Mom was not comforting at all and told Amanda there was no need to be upset. Then at school she spends all day crying in the crisis room. From this we learn Amanda worked at a SuperSaver grocery store in high school.


Most of her early posts were just about religion.

Spoiler: more

She loved kids. She often posted about how much she enjoyed childcare hours at church and she volunteered with an afterschool tutoring group in high school. She worked in daycares right after high school and enjoyed it very much. Despite working with little walking smallpox blankets she makes 0 posts about her health, not so much as a cold.


She started attending Central Community College and was a student ambassador and leader of Youth for Christ while there.


Amanda got in a bit of a fender-bender in 2010.


This was days after her mom was promoted to lead animal control officer.


She really has a normal life. She has fun times with her family and loves being aunt LaLa. Redacting where children are involved. Josh is integral to the story as an adult, but the nieces do nothing wrong and are still children as of writing. It's not their fault they're related to a munchie.


She spins until she falls.


I don’t know if this giant lawn cross was a regular fixture of the house or just rolled out for Easter. Let’s ask Mr. Googlemaps!


Here’s the houses across the street. . .


I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. (The news article above puts her address at 3980 but that's incorrect, there is no 3980 Lost Creek Drive.)


She experimented with filtering the shit out of things.


She also began to subtly stretch her photos to make herself look thinner. Not a huge difference, but enough that it's fun to tab between them when she uploads both copies


she goes out drinking and dancing with her friends.


She has a really close relationship with her younger brother Josh even though there's a ten year age gap between them.


In 2010 she graduated Central Community and started attending a different community college in Lincoln, NE. She studied communications and began working for a company called Finch on the Run Entertainment in Lincoln. They do wedding entertainment and videography packages. This hoodie she’s wearing is their merch.


She also started really, really abusing fat girl angles in her selfies.


But still, normal happy life. No signs anything is wrong from her posts


As part of her college program she took an internship with a local country music radio station called Froggy 98.1 FM. She was part of the morning show and had to wake up at 4;30 am.


But for the most part she enjoyed it. She just hated her school and couldn't wait to finish out her internship so she could move on.


She started a youtube channel. Her first video was from her internship. It's just some country musician.


Mostly she's just the happy proud auntie


In Summer 2012 her family took the trip that was to change Amanda’s entire life trajectory. The Winig family went to the Vacation Kingdom of the World.


They brought Amanda's niece along while her sister stayed behind so most of the posts are just sharing what the child did with her parents back home.


They stayed at the Wyndham Cypress Palms.


She makes a trailer for her family vacation. I hesitate to post because the child is in it and I do not have the skills to edit video. It's just family photos from the vacation set to music, but we learn that Brian Finch and his wife Lisa came along for the Disney portion of their trip. They're the two standing between Pluto and Amanda in this group pic.


They also went to Universal but she found it lacking compared to the spectacular customer service they had at Disney World.


Towards the end of the trip the winigs went to Stuart, Florida to hit the beach and visit her maternal grandparents.


And stuff herself with Japanese food.

Spoiler: more vacation pics

Everything she posts is so wondrously bitchy.


And still her only health complaint is allergies, a few volleyball injuries, and needing a root canal. But she's moving!



And starting her new school!


Diet? Impeccable. Five Guys stop making your cups so biodegradable that they fall apart if she forgets her sweet tea in the cupholder overnight, gosh!!!


Still vague booking, now dreaming of escape.


At Wesleyan she started studying psych and social work. Lines up with her interest in child care. As far as I can tell this is the first time she lived away from home. Her college experience was pretty typical: drinks, procrastinating, and staying up for days to finish work she neglected. She's also back to Volleyball.


She's "changing the radio dial and not looking back" and posting a Tay Swift breakup song.


She claims she lives with friends in a French class presentation.


So much godsperging and posting about how strong she is.

Spoiler

And still her only health posts are normie allergies and dental cleanings.


This despite living off of junk food, wine, and sugary coffee drinks, pulling constant all nighters, and the stress of trying to balance school and work.


She gets even more touchy over election season.


But back to our regular content. School sucks but she loves her family.


She became an MLM hun selling personalized wall decals through a company called Uppercase Living. They went out of business in 2018.


Her only munchie habit right now is she loves the original The Fault in Our Stars. A Walk to Remember is another teen romance sick flick about a boy who falls in love with a girl who has untreatable cancer and then she dies.


And she posts about cancer kid Talia, but so did a lot of normal people.


Brian Finch of Finch on the Run is in her comments all the time. She designed his new logo.


She's having a good time!


Finally, finally in April 2013 she makes her first health post. She has a cold and does not like cherry flavored cough medications.


She goes to Kansas City with her family.


Finally the semester is over and she's relieved even though her boss is in the comments reminding her she still works in the summer.


She's posting a lot about a big trip.


And still no real health posting.


But plenty of disney posting.


You can see she’s gained quite a bit of weight just in the year since the Disney trip.


After this she starts talking about needing to lose it. Everyone, even the Dairy Queen herself, seems to be hellbent on keeping Amanda to her diet but the wine and cake prove too seductive a siren.


She turns 23.


And even more disney posting.


As well as talking about going outside your comfort zone so you can grow.


Finally on September 25 we get the big reveal: she applied for and was accepted to the Disney College Program. This is an “internship” where college kids work grueling hours at menial jobs for little pay and some professional development courses thrown in. Most of what they earn gets funneled right back into Disney’s pockets because the vast majority live in Disney-owned apartment complexes and they have to pay weekly rent to live there. They have the choice to live off-campus but good luck finding an affordable place near the parks. Amanda will be living there for the spring semester 2014 and she cannot fucking WAIT.


The rest of 2013 is a flurry of activity as she prepares for the big day. She started a blog to document the DCP experience.



She's ready for this. She's focused on getting good grades and she actually committed herself to losing weight in the hopes of “earning” a whole new skinny wardrobe before she left.


She makes this vlog about her preparations. It's gone now, alas.


But this one isn't.

She quit her job at Finch on the Run.


So much disney. She even dressed as Minnie Mouse for Halloween. Everything was coming up Amanda!



Her only health post during this time? She ripped her fingernail off playing volleyball and was worried it might not regrow before the big day.



The one break from her complete excitement was when another friend died in a car crash, this time caused by a drunk driver. Amanda has matured and this time her post is all about how sweet the other girl was and how she’ll treasure the fond memories she has.


Other than that it was all excitement all day.


On 8 January 2014 the Winig family finally started the long trip to drop Amanda off at her temporary home.

And that's where we're gonna stop. I know this is a lot of background and we're not done yet, but knowing how offensively healthy Amanda actually is for the first 8 years of her internet presence makes it so much funnier when she finally goes into her munchie phase.

edit: added some more pics I found while organizing part 2

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

my only take away so far: