The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Eggman's Ghost]

Kindness might be dying (A)

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As much as I dont like either bonnie or kind, I do hope kind recovers. I dont want the End Of Tranchvangelion to go in a depressing direction like that.

Editing this part in to say that i know shes a munchy and that I was trying to be sarcastic but it not being obvious due to me being tired when I posted it, stop replying to this as if I dont know.

Bruh why would going to the EMU kill Kindness lmfao. She's just got him repeating all her insane munchie shit now

 

[Chongqing]

Detailed information about DISPOSING HUMAN REMAINS ????

I looked into it and there are no cold cases in their county from the last five years.

I had to check when I read that.

 

[Shig O'nella]

I looked into it and there are no cold cases in their county from the last five years.

I had to check when I read that.

Devils advocate time:

Why would there be?

Can't have a cold case without a report and there's been a couple of field serfs that so few people gave a shit about that no one here could find out much of anything about them. What if one of them OD'd or 41%'d?

It's not like it hasn't been jokingly said in thread many times that they'd just bury one of their own and not bother reporting it.

 

[Chongqing]

That's a good point. I was thinking specifically about the story they spun about rescuing a tranny from a den of fascists for some reason.

 

[Irate Feline]

Penis' claim of "knowing how to dispose of a body" comes from watching too many crime dramas and his tall tales of fragging his pals in the army are just another part of the LARP to make himself seem like more of a cool no-nonsense trained hardass instead of the shameless, delusional slob he really is. I'd bet when he agreed to start the Tranch project he was envisioning more of a "self-sufficient security detail for a noble cause" instead of just farming dirt in a wasteland and tried to push for a more tacticool role only to be met with the crushing reality that a bunch of fat, lazy weirdos with mental illnesses and more fetishes than brain cells don't exactly make for hardened war-ready commandos. (They should have named this theoretical Queerz-Only™ PMC the Tactical Antifa Renegade Defenders.)

If the FBI were ever interested in them they'd have investigated already, the bizarre HRT rituals, living in the middle of nowhere making a living of seemingly nothing, weird fetish-based class structure and open carrying rifles in town with full plate carrier kit on just screams "cult" but I guess there weren't enough human bodies disappeared to catch their eye. Only a giant herd of dead alpacas. If the ATF cares at all, they might politely knock on the old folks' door (while modestly armed) to take a brief look around for any machine guns propping up tables or MurderDrones in the attic but it wouldn't be the Tranny Waco we're all so keen on. Not unless the troons themselves escalate, which they are simultaneously unstable enough for, but too gutless to go through with now that their numbers have dropped. We can always dream, though.

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

Jesse Singal and Katie Herzog’s Blocked and Reported podcast just did an episode where the second half was about TUR. It’s subscribers only right now but it goes public on Monday.

The only part that was really new to me was that they talked to Bonnie, who now doubts that the siege actually happened.

But, wasn't he there? Like, larping as doing watch duty and everything? Is he claiming that Penis somehow fooled him into participating in an elaborate plot that Penis set up single-handedly and also succeeded in fooling all the other tranchers with the fake Siege?

Bonnie claimed that the only direct witness was an “unreliable narrator “.

Paul_sl3 and Aldo are apparently arms dealers who encouraged the tranch to invest in all kinds of fancy weaponry. Paul also turned up in person to “patrol”.
They are the main people giving panicky rebuttals against Bonnie now that he’s bringing up Three Letter Agencies, almost as if they’re been involved in something they shouldn’t have…

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/threads/...llip-matthew-logue.86681/page-75#post-8598669

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There was a series of podcasts a couple of hundred pages back that identified him as "Aldo", presumably the same Aldo hate-tweeting at Paul right now.

It was definitely Aldo. His twitter handle used to be @huskyaldoraine, Aldo Raine is Brad Pitt's character from Inglorious Basterds so that's a pseudonym for sure.
Here's the post summarizing the podcast episode in question: (choice quotes -
"on their property line patrols they realized that there were people out there in the night looking back at them."
"Aldo was up here the next day, and caught people on the property that night.")

Then we get to the Earl story. Now apparently none of the ranchers actually saw him. Some survivalist called "Aldo" who sounds even batshit crazier than the troons (Aldo isn't apparently his real name, and they've got an actor to read his words in case he is recognised - 27 mins onwards). Even his arrival is over the top. He was "followed" down the track to the ranch by a couple of cars, so he "signalled" (yup, that's the word he uses) to Penny that he's going to drive past the ranch gate to give him a chance to ID them. He then drives down to a spot that he's already marked out on the map as suitable for turning round, turns, and as he does so shines a powerful torch in their faces. Not in the least bit suspicious at all, no sirree. And luckily for these poor locals on their way home, he just kept his hand on his gun but didn't feel a need to draw.

Honestly, you need to listen to just this bit, it's hilarious. "A trusted source had boosted their call for help", "pitter patter motherfuckers!", "They gave me situational awareness of the property". He sent the ranchers, who apparently hadn't slept for 48 hours, to bed, then pulled on his plates and went out to patrol. So when Earl makes his appearance, every single one of the tranchers are tucked up together in their giant smelly bed. And then two men started fiddling with the gate and the motion sensitive security light attached to it (I don't remember this before) until Aldo turns his torch on them. They then run off, and Aldo does nothing because they technically weren't actually on the property. He then waits half an hour befoer going back inside the ranch to, erm, change his socks. I kid you not. When the going gets tough, Aldo changes his socks.

tl;dr Penny decided he saw Oathkeepers in the trees at night, tweeted for help, Aldo showed up and then totally found some I mean nobody else was awake and nobody fired any shots and they left peacefully and silently because they saw how badass he was and pissed their pants in terror but it totally happened you guys I swear.

As far as I can tell Fed Paul (not to be confused with Fat Paul) arrived after that and never saw any "action".

 

[Temperance]

There was a series of podcasts a couple of hundred pages back that identified him as "Aldo", presumably the same Aldo hate-tweeting at Paul right now. I think his real name is a few hundred pages further back, but I can't remember it.

Holy shit, you were right! We really need to look into this Aldo guy.

From the "It Could Happen Here" podcast just a few months ago:

This is Penny and a podcast narrator telling the story of the "siege". It's interesting to compare what they say here to the original timeline of events.

Bonnie is completely absent from the podcast story, and the story itself is way, WAY more detailed than it was originally. Curious how the Tranchers didn't see fit to tweet about many of these details during the "siege"! Almost as if they were made up afterwards... For example, Penny did tweet about doing night patrols of the property due to "threats", but in the podcast he claims that he and Fedposter J actually saw some intruders probing their fence during a patrol, and this is what caused them to put out a call for help on Twitter. If you look at the linked timeline, Penny didn't tweet anything about seeing intruders himself.

The first mention of any intruders was from Bonnie on March 6th, who said the "security" encountered a couple intruders:


Anyway, back to the important point. The podcast does a weirdly in-depth, play-by-play commentary on what the "security" (explicitly identified as "Aldo") experienced. Aldo is first named at the 6:08 to 6:14 mark of the clip above. He's also named several more times in the rest of the clip.

Aldo portrays himself as an experienced, tacticool badass. His account of events is ludicrously detailed and seems pretty absurd. He says that even while he was driving down to the Tranch after hearing their call for help, he was tailed by two mysterious vehicles. He passed by the Tranch with the vehicles still following him, and he tried to get Penny to identify them [note that the Tranchers never mentioned this in their tweets]. In a high-tension situation where he was nearly driven off the road, he managed to scare them off.

Later that night, Aldo had the Tranchers go to bed while he went out to patrol the property alone [Starts around 10:54]. He supposedly witnessed vehicles driving past the property slowly and with their lights off, multiple times. [14:12] Around midnight he saw a couple unarmed men approach the front gate on foot with flashlights. He spied on them and heard one of the men say "Earl" ( @The Elusive Earl). Aldo makes a side-note here to mock the men as big dumb chuds. The two men start fiddling with the gate, and Aldo lit up with men with his flashlight and demanded that they leave. The two men then fled in a comical fashion, apparently.

[17:33] A couple hours later, Aldo heard voices again. He saw two men approach the property again, but they were different from the first two and they were armed. Aldo, in a heroic & badass fashion, demanded that they drop their weapons or else he would shoot them. The cowardly chuds then started running away, and Aldo pursued them. One of the men clumsily threw/dropped his weapon as he was climbing over a fence to escape, and the man oafishly had to recover his weapon. That's the end. However, Aldo says the fence was damaged from the men climbing over it, and there were tracks in the snow from the men's vehicle... how strange that the Tranchers never bothered to take pictures and share this evidence!

I have to reiterate that Aldo really tries to sell himself as some kind of badass, cool operator. He's clearly doing that thing where liars will overly embellish their stories and add too many details to try and make the story seem "believable". I highly encourage you all to listen to the clip and judge for yourselves.

Anyway, it greatly contradicts the Tranchers own tweets. Aldo is saying that there were four men total (in two different pairs) who tried to trespass that night, but you can see in the timeline that the Tranchers never mentioned this.

---

Bonus: At 10:31 in the clip, "the Kiwifarms threats of burning them out of their home".

 

[behindyourightnow]

Id say acid or the Japanese concrete barrel method

No, this is exactly what I'm talking about: acid is not as effective as people think. Even if you keep a body in there for literally years they will often still find some trace, and that's all they need. Same with any kind of disposal in a place that can be connected to you. Even the pig farm guy would not have gotten away with it if anyone was actually interested in looking for his victims.

If you want to dispose of a body, take it far away to some sort of wilderness area that's not connected to you, that's your best bet. If you are in an urban area and absolutely cannot do that, disguise it visually and put it in a dumpster right before trash pickup.

I swear to god I have never killed anyone

 

[Spunt]

> Either Penis was LARPing or Boner is lying and there's no body buried at the tranch
> Someone takes his Tweets seriously and tells the feds there might be a body at the tranch
> FBI excavate the entire site, find hundreds of improperly-buried alpaca carcasses
> Boner, Penis and Kev are arrested and interrogated in the meantime
> Boner and the crew are charged with illegal disposal of animal carcasses and polluting the groundwater
> Tranch becomes a superfund site and is seized by the EPA
> Boner's home is even more destroyed and he is stuck with the bill for the cleanup as the landowner
> Boner's entire life is in shreds and Penis has a very strong incentive to hunt him down and ventilate him
> ???
> Profit

That is unless there really IS a body buried at the Tranch, in which case the outcome would be even worse. Paul is not a very smart man, is he?

 

[Temperance]

Here is where Paul Liistro (@paulsl_3) showed up at the Tranch. Seems like he came over ~2 weeks after the "siege".

Very informative post about Paul Liistro and "Aldo" (aka HuskyAldoRaine) here. These two guys are extremely shady.

Had a look at new friend @paulsl_3. He's come into contact via HuskyAldoRaine and if he's telling the truth he's a literal Fed. He's very tacticool any rate.
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Link / Archive

December 6 - First contact with Aldo: archive
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March 8 - First contact with the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch: archive
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March 14 - Quick chat with Penny about ammo (seems to imply he can buy from a federal source?) archive
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March 16 - He and Aldo seem to be involved in distribution: archive
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March 20 - a couple of other involvees: archive.
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The best find comes in the form of a crossover with cow Juniper L Simonis, male womens' roller derby champion, Portland riot arrestee and noted troon. Simonis has a thread. This twitter thread became large and sprawling, and not a little incandescent.

Spoiler: Massive.

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There's something fishy about this tweet:

The "siege" took place the night of March 5th and into the early morning of March 6th. This tweet was posted on March 7th...

If someone had told me 15 years ago that one day I would be hanging out at a safe haven of trans-armed-rural-anarchist-alpaca-unicorn-ranch-collective-family I would have been perplexed by that string of words.
Beautiful, rad humans.
Thank you. @TenaciousRanch,
Nice.

Does this sound like a man who - in just the past couple days - had multiple scary encounters with dangerous chuds who nearly drove him off the road and tried to sneak onto the Tranch (some with weapons)?

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Penis' claim of "knowing how to dispose of a body" comes from watching too many crime dramas and his tall tales of fragging his pals in the army are just another part of the LARP to make himself seem like more of a cool no-nonsense trained hardass instead of the shameless, delusional slob he really is.

This is very important to always keep in mind when observing Penny, as his entire personality is centered on this tacticool tough guy LARP that he's had since probably his military days. He wants everyone to think he's this battle-hardened badass but really his service consisted of sitting around a base in Europe in peacetime and he truly did nothing of note, value or consequence his entire enlistment. He never saw combat, he never performed any acts of heroism, the closest he ever came to saving a life was picking up trash or cleaning a toilet. But he's a veteran, you see! Even to this day, the average person hears "veteran" and they automatically assume combat service, even though for the majority of enlistees that simply isn't the case. Like Penny. A veteran who didn't see combat is just someone who was told what to do for 4 years. And that's the peak of Penny's life, judging by his larp. Pretty sad when you think about it, although I find it hard to really feel sorry for him because he's such a failure of a man through and through.

 

[Shig O'nella]

That is unless there really IS a body buried at the Tranch, in which case the outcome would be even worse. Paul is not a very smart man, is he?

If even one of them were smart, they'd not have over a thousand pages.

 

[Oxyjen]

Semper fi archivist kiwis!

Whenever this comes to a crescendo, this is going to be the library of Alexandria (that isnt burned by the romans) when the rest of the internet sweeps this troonery under the rug

Quoted for truth [from 7 months ago]

 

[Temperance]

Did the Aldo guy delete his twitter account? Sorry if this is late news - hard to keep track of everything.
https://twitter.com/Huskier_Aldo/

Paul Liistro was talking to him just a week ago:

Even in a tweet thread about Bonnie:

Archives of some of Aldo's tweets: [Archive.is] [Wayback Machine]
Most noticeably this one about Bonnie.

 

[Oxyjen]

Did the Aldo guy delete his twitter account? Sorry if this is late news - hard to keep track of everything.
https://twitter.com/Huskier_Aldo/
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Paul Liistro was talking to him just a week ago:
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Even in a tweet thread about Bonnie:
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Archives of some of Aldo's tweets: [Archive.is] [Wayback Machine]
Most noticeably this one about Bonnie.

No you’re right, Aldo is *gone*.
From just a few days ago:



So that’s interesting, isn’t it.
I speculated before that Paul and Aldo seemed to panicking about the recent developments. Now Aldo has deleted altogether.

So is he worried that his siege tale and subsequent grift is about to be unravelled and doesn’t want to lose face on Twitter?

Or is he worried about the mention of the ATF getting involved, and he’s the one who supplied illegal weapons or modifications to the tranchers?

Least likely option is that he’s realised he’s been angrily supporting a bunch of malevolent wasters who did a bunch of vandalism and fraud and has deleted in shame.

He, Paulho and that podcast guy are in this up to their fucking necks though, I know that much.

 

[Sintharia]

Detailed information about DISPOSING HUMAN REMAINS ????

You mean you DON'T have a plan for taking care of bodies if you have to off someone? Always know where your nearest pig farm is.

 

[YarrBlueballs]

Or is he worried about the mention of the ATF getting involved, and he’s the one who supplied illegal weapons or modifications to the tranchers?

He, Paulho and that podcast guy are in this up to their fucking necks though, I know that much.

You forget a certain other agency, the IRS. If these guys are running schemes, either with or without weaponry, the biggest thing that can possibly fuck them will be not declaring or doing fuckery with their money because they think they're safe on a fuckoff nowhere ranch ran by transexuals...without realizing that out of all the agencies, the IRS is the most apathetic and infinitely greedier than a tranny hoarding 10k worth of transformers.

The ATF may shoot your dog, but the IRS will shoot your soul.

 

[FinnSven]

Devils advocate time:

Why would there be?

Can't have a cold case without a report and there's been a couple of field serfs that so few people gave a shit about that no one here could find out much of anything about them. What if one of them OD'd or 41%'d?

It's not like it hasn't been jokingly said in thread many times that they'd just bury one of their own and not bother reporting it.

It would be like when people kill a junkie or a drifter for kicks.

It happens but only hits the headlines if someone sees them in the action of doing so or they get caught trying to dispose of the body.

Otherwise, if no one notices their absence, then no one will report them.

If there is a dead field serf though, I would imagine they are all sworn to secrecy and all complicit.
So of course they are not going to rat themselves out.


I

You mean you DON'T have a plan for taking care of bodies if you have to off someone? Always know where your nearest pig farm is.

I just leave them on public transport.
It’s way funnier.
I am certain my local tram drivers play “pass the corpse”, the loser being the one who finds the body which smells so bad they can’t “mistake” it for a dead drunk tramp.

 

[AssignedEva]

Bruh why would going to the EMU kill Kindness lmfao. She's just got him repeating all her insane munchie shit now

Covid. She spent a solid few paragraphs in her screed self flagellating for having visited the Tranch unmasked "thinking the vaccine was sufficient protection" and stating she'd never do that now, so she's probably convinced she'll catch covid in the hospital and then die of covid.

Munchies love covid because they get another munchie accessory (masks) and they get to guilt trip people about not taking it seriously anymore and they get to force others to change their behaviour ("you can't visit me without doing a covid test and wearing a mask all the time").

Or any number of other batshit ideas. Currently Kindness is having a nervous breakdown on twitter because she owns cuddly toys and simultaneously feels guilty that she owns too many and should donate them all to children while being fearful that if she gets attached to the toys something bad will happen to them, and also revealed she maintains friendships with chatbots because they don't get tired talking to her but she still content warns and checks in on how they feel in case they've gained sentience and then get traumatised by her trauma dumping.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

You mean you DON'T have a plan for taking care of bodies if you have to off someone? Always know where your nearest pig farm is.

Major city with a major river running through and several lakes around, I'm good, thx.