🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[ToroidalBoat]

autism-related verbal tics

"Juuuuuust fine" is my favorite Sweetism.

Spoiler

I deleted the post you were replying to because I thought it sucked...

(I said that like JTM and "apparently," Sweet using "sumptuous" could be a combination of him trying to sound smart and a verbal tic)

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Pee jar stories pale to some of the shit she shares about me and my brothers while we were growing up. If you think I lack a filter, hell, where do you think I get it from?

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Second hypothesis, and something I find funnier: he is such a poor fuck that going to the Old Country buffet to eat worse than Denny's tier food is seen as a king's feast in his eyes.

People like Thumbskull are pretty much the target audience of the horrifying chain of eateries known as Golden Corral, where the diners literally grunt in pleasure as they hoover up the vast amounts of fried and boiled vittles spread before them. It's redneck heaven.

 

[The Mountain]

(Not so) Fun Fact: A good friend of mine used to work in sewage treatment or something of that nature. She told me that the absolute worst water she ever saw, in a goddamn sewer remember, came from the local Golden Corral.

To keep things on topic...

Pee jar stories pale to some of the shit she shares about me and my brothers while we were growing up. If you think I lack a filter, hell, where do you think I get it from?

It's nice to see Sweet trying to pass the buck on to his mother.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Golden Corral

CWC likes Golden Corral. But the diferences between Sweet and CWC are vast.

It's nice to see Sweet trying to pass the buck on to his mother.

I can't remember a single time where Sweet admitted fault for anything really.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

I can't remember a single time where Sweet admitted fault for anything really.

I liked it when he blamed all of his errors in grammar, diction, usage and spelling -- in both his online posts and his buffoonish attempts at fiction -- on the fact that the world has failed to provide him with a copy editor. He doesn't seem to remember anything at all about what happened the last time he did have a copy editor.

 

[Adamska]

I liked it when he blamed all of his errors in grammar, diction, usage and spelling -- in both his online posts and his buffoonish attempts at fiction -- on the fact that the world has failed to provide him with a copy editor. He doesn't seem to remember anything at all about what happened the last time he did have a copy editor.

He also forgets that his degree, besides allowing him to get that dream job, is supposed to have made making errors like that much harder for him since he should spot them.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I liked it when he blamed all of his errors in grammar, diction, usage and spelling -- in both his online posts and his buffoonish attempts at fiction -- on the fact that the world has failed to provide him with a copy editor. He doesn't seem to remember anything at all about what happened the last time he did have a copy editor.

I simply cannot comprehend the mental hoop-jumping he goes through trying to both talk about how awesome and deserving he is while simultaneously claiming that the world needs to go out of its way to provide for him. Rugged individualism? Yah, no, not really.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

He just wants a boyfriend-free assistant.
Sweet is one of the cows that is worse off than Chris. He really will die once Momma Sweet bites it.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

So, there have been some comments and responses:

We're not supposed to address lolcows. That having been said, I'm going to address this lolcow:

He's not saying he wants to see the rest of the comic, Jon. He's saying that the most accurate representation of yourself that you've shown is that of the lazy loser who won't let go of his past.

Nah, not for you. You either adapt or starve, Jon. To be honest, I'm fine with you doing either.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

So if you send cash and an email address to Sweet (who is known to stalk people), he then probably sends you Belch Dimension? How is Sweet not rolling in dough by now?

Then they need to bring it back.

Just like Hotmail and YT need to cater to people still using IE6 on Windows 98?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Apologies for the double post, but Sweet responded to EmmettBrwonPhD again.

First he says that "[PayPal is] too new" and he's not familiar with it, so he doesn't trust it. Then he goes back to why he needs that hip young millennial assistant, and then claims "the old ways are best" in the meantime.

Sweet also gloats by pointing out a minor grammar error Emmett made (surprise surprise), and later reveals that he "uses cash for everything" since he hasn't had a bank account in about 5 years.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Been meaning to comment on this for a while, but notice that he shares with Chris a strange obsession with the Spanish language, peppering his posts with it and signing each one with "adios." Why such a virulent racist would demean himself by using the language of brown people is bewildering. Do you think he ever even took Spanish classes in high school?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Spanish

Sweet probably thinks that knowing how to cook taco salad and saying "adios" makes him knowledgeable of Latin America.

 

[John Titor]

Been meaning to comment on this for a while, but notice that he shares with Chris a strange obsession with the Spanish language, peppering his posts with it and signing each one with "adios." Why such a virulent racist would demean himself by using the language of brown people is bewildering. Do you think he ever even took Spanish classes in high school?

He did. He took pride in annoying the teacher with his TV impressions.

The ObamaCable box is useless. The remote eats batteries. The clock never keeps good time. It struggles to get three or four channels even on a good day (I got more with analog even without a dish) and goes out completely in a storm or just a stiff wind. It has to be left on 24/7 because when it's turned off it drops channels, which is a waste of electricity. It's useless as tits on a bull. Why would I want another? If I did I wouldn't have to pay for it; back in my day I'd simply write a column about my troubles with DTV and my followers would leave a shiny new replacement box at my doorstep. That is how things worked. So fuck you.

Anybody know what he's talking about? I had a DTV box and it turns off after a while but all I have to do is turn it back on again.

 

[TheUltimatePickle]

You gotta love his commitment to terrible ideas, it's like he's trying to be a hipster but completely missing the point.

My philosophy has always been to choose the best of the many decades of technology and incorporate them into my life and my work as an artist. Some old things are excellent quality and great deals compared to the modern equivalent, you can afford really high end items and still spend less than your friends if you don't mind minor inconveniences like getting off the couch to adjust the volume or manually focusing a camera lens.

But Sweetums has taken the opposite approach, it's almost as if he's selected the absolute worst things from the past. Things most people didn't even like when they were new, and held onto them with an obsessive commitment. His approach to technology is just the same as his approach to the rest of his life, motivated by extreme laziness, it's not even that he chooses to use Win 98 or have people mail him checks, he's just too lazy and apathetic to learn about new things, he wants people to hold his hand and do it for him.

 

[Shadow Fox]

My philosophy has always been to choose the best of the many decades of technology and incorporate them into my life and my work as an artist. Some old things are excellent quality and great deals compared to the modern equivalent, you can afford really high end items and still spend less than your friends if you don't mind minor inconveniences like getting off the couch to adjust the volume or manually focusing a camera lens.

Sweet will never be able to achieve this because he's too lazy and inept to even try to experiment with new things. He's latched on to his shitty, ugly-looking, inefficient way of doing things, decided that it works juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine, and conveniently finds excuses for why he can't utilize other methods of doing things. Too expensive! Nobody told me how to use something like that! Liberals! ASU!

It's especially ridiculous because Sweet has nothing but free time to spend experimenting and perfecting new techniques that would make his art more accessible to a wider audience. I know so many artists who have busy lives with full-time jobs, families, personal projects and social obligations, and they still find time to investigate new techniques or tools because they love their craft that much. Sweet knows nothing of that kind of passion, regardless of his insistence that his comics are going to rake in the money he needs to get back into ASU* and/or start his own ASU knock-off for him and other creepy old men who want college-age booty.

His approach to technology is just the same as his approach to the rest of his life, motivated by extreme laziness, it's not even that he chooses to use Win 98 or have people mail him checks, he's just too lazy and apathetic to learn about new things, he wants people to hold his hand and do it for him.

See: his belief that his "followers" would fix his "troubles with DTV" by giving him a new Obamacable box if he just whined about it in the student paper.

*Speaking of: we haven't forgotten your assertion that you'll be back on campus living the good life by this fall, Jon Boy. Three and a half months remain for you to make your dream a reality. We're watching.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

CWC has already tried and (at least somewhat) succeeded with modern business methods (like Etsy) while Sweet says stuff like that is "untrustworthy" because it's "too new" and "unfamiliar."

See: his belief that his "followers" would fix his "troubles with DTV" by giving him a new Obamacable box if he just whined about it in the student paper.

Sweet thinks writing articles gets stuff just like CWC thinks making e-begging videos and FB posts gets stuff.

 

[Adamska]

So if you send cash and an email address to Sweet (who is known to stalk people), he then probably sends you Belch Dimension? How is Sweet not rolling in dough by now?

It's almost like we have things that serve the same function but is a lot more convenient and easy for both parties.

Just like Hotmail and YT need to cater to people still using IE6 on Windows 98?

How dare software update; it has to stay the exact same so I can stagnate and rot just like grampa Nurgle.

First he says that "[PayPal is] too new" and he's not familiar with it, so he doesn't trust it. Then he goes back to why he needs that hip young millennial assistant, and then claims "the old ways are best" in the meantime.

The translation for that is: I'm too retarded to look into something that makes getting money from the internet easy. This is because I am both incredibly lazy and incredibly incompetent, and looking at how to sign up for a paypal is too hard. Not that it matters since nigga would need a debit card or something, and he's too retarded to get one of those too.

Sweet also gloats by pointing out a minor grammar error Emmett made (surprise surprise), and later reveals that he "uses cash for everything" since he hasn't had a bank account in about 5 years.

The man who fucks up using the word sumptuous has no right to call out someone for minor structural errors. Especially since semantics errors are nastier than syntax if you want to derive meaning from a sentence.[/QUOTE]

 

[DrJonesHat]

Oh ffs. Paypal is 18 years old. How the fuck is that new? It's quite reliable. But like @Adamska said, the Crown Prince of the Mold Kingdom would need a checking account to use it, and I think mommy took that away after his brother stole his checks. Also, Sweet's narcissism is on display again. "I don't like something, therefore the world should change to suit me, despite everyone else using the new thing without problems"