The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

If there is a smart or sensical thing to do the Tranch will inevitably do all in it's power to not only do the opposite of that thing, but will actively work to kneecap themselves in the process. The entire history of the Tranch is everyone trying to give them the benefit of the doubt by saying "There's no possible way that they could actually be THAT stupid!" followed by the Tranchers immediately proving that yes, they are, in fact, THAT stupid.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Kevin has posted about yet another old Tranch patreon video being released on youtube. [A]

I have not watched the video yet.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

It's just speculation, but I'm betting that the reason Mandozer and the tranchers have gone quiet is that there's been some sort of deal brokered to keep the fighting off social. Something like Phil telling Mandozer "If you stop talking shit about us on Twitter, we'll be off the property in a few weeks. If you don't, we'll dig in, stay as long as possible, and leave things even worse than they are now."

They'll kill Kevin and bury him on the property. Be some Color Out of Space shit.

 

[AMHOLIO]

If there is a smart or sensical thing to do the Tranch will inevitably do all in it's power to not only do the opposite of that thing, but will actively work to kneecap themselves in the process. The entire history of the Tranch is everyone trying to give them the benefit of the doubt by saying "There's no possible way that they could actually be THAT stupid!" followed by the Tranchers immediately proving that yes, they are, in fact, THAT stupid.

Yes, this. If I had Null powers, I'd put that last sentence up in big bold letters at the top of the thread, always appearing when you click on the tranch thread. I like to remind the thread this every so often not because people reading this thread are stupid, but because almost everyone who reads this thread has an IQ above room temperature and have a hard time grasping this depth of stupidity if they haven't been around it for a while. To normal readers, it doesn't seem possible for anyone to not have common sense, to not read or research before jumping into something, to not look before leaping, but holy shit, the tranch does it every fucking time and it's madness.

For those of you who like guessing the future, picture the stupidest or most lazy option for whatever quandary the tranch is facing. That is likely the answer or close to it. Penny, Jen, and Fedposter J shutting the fuck up on twitter is one of the few smartest things we've seen them do in months.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

For those of you who like guessing the future, picture the stupidest or most lazy option for whatever quandary the tranch is facing. That is likely the answer or close to it. Penny, Jen, and Fedposter J shutting the fuck up on twitter is one of the few smartest things we've seen them do in months.

Ah yes, Stoklasa's Razor: When attempting to determine the reasoning behind a truly baffling decision the dumbest answer is usually the most correct one.

 

[Procopius]

In the absence of any documented facts about what's happening on the Tranch, how about some wild, baseless and unwarranted speculation on what's been reported on the Sheriff's blotter. Which is the most tranny likely crime:
a) abuse of animals and field troons.

b) not sure any professional assistance is needed here, unless our troons come from the 59%

c) troons can't take no for an answer

d) Cracking eggs?

 

[Flamin Park]

Oh hell no, he's definitely low-balling those numbers FOR SURE.

Admitting that he buried alpaca opens the door to "well why didn't you do better for the animals sake?" and "why didn't you come forward earlier for the animals sake?". He's basically admitting he's an accomplice to animal abuse on Twitter, because this happened on HIS property as the papers are in HIS name. So he'll lie the numbers to make himself look less bad and in victim role. Also, note how he said "I helped buried 30-50 alpaca". I may be reading into this too much, but is he only talking about the ones that he had a hand in the burial process? In other words is he omitting the ones he didn't bury but still were buried during his time at the tranch? Some kiwi did an analysis of the real paca headcount by analyzing media that they posted, we need to pull that up again to truly see how many alpaca are in shallow graves.

He helped bury 30-50 alpaca
Then they've admitted taking several the wolf rescue
Then the burials he wasn't assisting with

I'd say our death count is 70-85

I bring some bad news for anyone who still believes in the tale of big bad Earl, because it may well be that the story is even more pathetic than we originally believed (and our very own Elusive Earl an imposter). I've just come across a Tumblr account which tells this story:

View attachment 4166312

I am simply here for the entertainmence

Idk how many of you know about tenacious unicorn ranch, but I'm like 99% sure it's being run like a cult. Nobody in the area really knows they're there despite what they claim. They run constant arm…

www.tumblr.com

I am simply here for the entertainmence on Tumblr

archived 30 Dec 2022 13:17:57 UTC

archive.vn

I've had a search on Twitter and I can't find that tweet, but Twitter search has been rigged by trannys so who knows. Thumbs up for that sad little ending "The truck is still on the hill." which rounds off the story perfectly.

Whoever it is continues with a new take on the famous rescue:

View attachment 4166327
and just for completeness, here's the rest of the post.
View attachment 4166338

I just wanted to highlight a couple of posts from Bonnie's recent rant. The air outside may be riddled with atomised alpaca shit, but it's not much better when you get inside:

View attachment 4166337

https://twitter.com/EntrancingStars/status/1608270299933605888

Bonnie Nelson Co-founder of TUR on Twitter: "There's much about the r…

archived 29 Dec 2022 19:39:57 UTC

archive.vn

If you thought that sharing a bed with two other smelly men with leaking axe woulds was about as bad as it could get, think again.

Moving on, if you reckon that Aldo sounded gloriously bonkers on that recent radio programme, well he's got a twitter. A bit whiny and dull for my tastes, but there may be some hidden milk:

View attachment 4166348View attachment 4166353

https://twitter.com/Huskier_Aldo/status/1608220903934160898

Hemingways Liver on Twitter: "It fucks me up to see someone I care ab…

archived 29 Dec 2022 11:47:54 UTC

archive.vn

Anyone who reckons that Bonnie can't afford to get legal on the ranch, well here's a reason why he can't not. You've heard the old story of people burning their furniture to keep warm. Well the last of the tranchers may well be burning their house to do so. You remember that picture with the fallen down terrace posted a few pages back? Zoom in on it and there's not as much terrace on the ground as there is missing from the side of the house. Could this be Penny's solution to the propane problem. Can Bonnie evict them while there is still some house left, or will he repossess a sad little stove sitting in the middle of a wasteland?

View attachment 4166306

Is Paul trying to state on the record here that no residents of the tranch could figure out to clean up the pools of cat piss and piss soaked clothing lying all over the floors of the house, until the robot baby hinted it to them?

'day 37, the smell of cat piss is starting to become overwhelming, and the ill-fitting dress I want to wear is soaked in cat piss. IF ONLY there was a way to resolve this!'

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

He helped bury 30-50 alpaca
Then they've admitted taking several the wolf rescue
Then the burials he wasn't assisting with

I'd say our death count is 70-85

I'll be pessimistic and say they've buried ~100 dead alpaca. Of course, we're assuming the "30-50" range is accurate. He may be inflating numbers because he's so legitimately stupid he can't remember.

Is Paul trying to state on the record here that no residents of the tranch could figure out to clean up the pools of cat piss and piss soaked clothing lying all over the floors of the house, until the robot baby hinted it to them?

No resident wanted to clean the cat piss. They'd rather do alpaca photo ops, LARP as a tranny militia, and spend donor money on Kevin's toys.

In the absence of any documented facts about what's happening on the Tranch, how about some wild, baseless and unwarranted speculation on what's been reported on the Sheriff's blotter. Which is the most tranny likely crime:
a) abuse of animals and field troons.
View attachment 4313357
b) not sure any professional assistance is needed here, unless our troons come from the 59%
View attachment 4313359
c) troons can't take no for an answer
View attachment 4313361
d) Cracking eggs?
View attachment 4313365

I think it's either A or C. It's not B because the tranchers love themselves too much to join the 41%, and it's not D because their shitty electric and internet is being monopolized by Kevin. Besides, who has time to groom children when there's LARPing to be done?

 

[Humbert Humbert]

BREAKING NEWS!
Bonnie has a new pinned tweet with an update on the Tranch!!! It seems that he talked to the tranchers, and they are “rehoming” animals (hopefully not into a mass grave). He wants to dissolve the tranch. I personally will miss it dearly if it goes, for I have loved this thread and all of the sperging that’s happened in it. I have learned about farming, animal husbandry, the Migratory Bird Act, troonism, etc. and it truly is my favorite thread on this website. [A]

Talks about Sky, praises him for being “incredibly wise”. He probably mediated the aforementioned talk to the point where they could actually get shit done instead of just argue. [A]

A couple of tweets about Kindness (linking to her thread to try to keep some semblance of order in the thread)

EDIT: Bonnie mentioned Kindness today. [A]
View attachment 4317511
And even replied to her! [A]
View attachment 4317531

Bonus Content [A]

Spoiler: Keep dreaming, Bonnie

 

[World Famous Quasi Payer]

Who in the fuck is gonna take 100-150 malnourished and abused alpacas? Is the wolf sanctuary gonna take them as feed for the wolves?

 

[Cuckoman]

Who in the fuck is gonna take 100-150 malnourished and abused alpacas? Is the wolf sanctuary gonna take them as feed for the wolves?

I don't think anyone will take on a bunch of malnousished, starving and diseased animals.
The vet bill to just have them checked and treated for all the diseases and parasites will destroy the economy of farming them.
They will probably just hire a backhoe for a few days and re-home them to the bottom of a shallow pit.

They have already done alpaca massgraves on that property. What is one more massgrave?

Also, they are lazy troons. They will do whatever is easiest and takes least effort. The easiest way to deal with this is to dig a hole and then use the alpacas for target practise.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

I don't think anyone will take on a bunch of malnousished, starving and diseased animals.
The vet bill to just have them checked and treated for all the diseases and parasites will destroy the economy of farming them.
They will probably just hire a backhoe for a few days and re-home them to the bottom of a shallow pit.

They have already done alpaca massgraves on that property. What is one more massgrave?

Also, they are lazy troons. They will do whatever is easiest and takes least effort. The easiest way to deal with this is to dig a hole and then use the alpacas for target practise.

Agreed, but it would be greatly appreciated if somebody more autistic than me could do some digging to see if a large number of animals known to inhabit the tranch have been taken in anywhere relatively close by.

 

[AnOminous]

Who in the fuck is gonna take 100-150 malnourished and abused alpacas? Is the wolf sanctuary gonna take them as feed for the wolves?

There probably aren't that many any more. I still can't see getting rid of what are probably ailing animals of no economic value, except possibly as pets. You'd hope any organization capable of taking that many would also have the authority to report obvious crimes committed against the animals, but oh well.

 

[SlaanyChaser]

I'm not worried about the Thread dying because the Tranch is finally being put down. As long as Pennywise as internet access, the grifts and inept attempts at jobs will continue.
Looking forward to them being "genocided" by his (grand)parents insisting on Kev bathing.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

It’s extremely sad but also unsurprising that the tranch is ending in the worst way possible for most of the residents we wished well: the animals.

 

[Skeletonized Cow]

Just like all good things, the bad things in this world also eventually sluff off their mortal coil and die. Hopefully soon the alpacas can know peace, and the tranch's poor, Godforsaken neighbors can finally live without the amhole stench again.

 

[RollingRock2]

The alpacowitz survivors will be "rehomed" in the dirt
Assuming the land will be sold eventually I am curious what the ask will be

 

[Abowaffen]

The alpacowitz survivors will be "rehomed" in the dirt

The alpacowitz survivors will go found Alpacrael. Never again.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

Good to see that Sky has learned absolutely fucking nothing from this whole drama. Chasing BPD pussy and abusing animals are definitely things scared little girls to.

 

[duckling]

BREAKING NEWS!
Bonnie has a new pinned tweet with an update on the Tranch!!! It seems that he talked to the tranchers, and they are “rehoming” animals (hopefully not into a mass grave). He wants to dissolve the tranch. I personally will miss it dearly if it goes, for I have loved this thread and all of the sperging that’s happened in it. I have learned about farming, animal husbandry, the Migratory Bird Act, troonism, etc. and it truly is my favorite thread on this website. [A]
View attachment 4317590
Talks about Sky, praises him for being “incredibly wise”. He probably mediated the aforementioned talk to the point where they could actually get shit done instead of just argue. [A]
View attachment 4317660
A couple of tweets about Kindness (linking to her thread to try to keep some semblance of order in the thread)

Bonus Content [A]
View attachment 4317585

Spoiler: Keep dreaming, Bonnie

View attachment 4317582

It took me a while to dig this one out of the memory banks and then find the posts to back it up, but just to refresh people's memory from ~100 pages ago, TUR started a gofundme grift to "secure additional properties to house trans folks". They posted some pics of a property and @Jump determined that it's just Penny's mom's house.

So my theory is they are being forced off the ranch by fat paul. They therefore are rehoming their animals, and then moving in with penny's mom. Or Penny is cramming his folks into a shitty nursing home and taking over their property.

The real winner here is obviously Kevin, as he will no longer have to charge his switch in order to play it on his TV and won't get banned from matchmaking in Overwatch for DCing constantly. Honestly I'm really excited for the new arc, I hope Kevin hits 400 lbs and gets moved to his true home, the deathfats forum.