The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 103 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 279 12.1%

  • Penis

    Votes: 417 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Boner

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 684 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 716 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 266 11.5%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 205 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,149 49.8%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 669 29.0%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 313 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,306
Coccxys said:
Oh yeah turn up in full tacticool gear to be "security" for a protest. No way that could escalate anything, I'm sure the cops wouldn't get twitchy about the guy wandering around strapped or anything.

Surely security work (as in being a designated security for something not just wandering round dressed as spec ops) requires registering and licensing?

Still I'm pretty sure a heavily armed group of unhinged men popping edibles at large protest is the best way for the tranch to pop up on a few fed agencies' radars (if they're not there already).
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Tenacious Unicorn Militia and Security at your service! Bash the fash and get some cash, while of course high off your ass. For real though, it's hard to imagine a strapped, paranoid and crazy-eyed Phil and Jarrod making people in public actually feel safer. They're more prone to escalation than the Hell's Angels at Altamont and would brandish weapons at anyone who failed to respect the she/her pronoun patch on their badly fitting plate carriers.
 
Ninon42 said:
They're more prone to escalation than the Hell's Angels at Altamont and would brandish weapons at anyone who failed to respect the she/her pronoun patch on their badly fitting plate carriers.
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All it takes is for one guy to be ballsy (or drunk) enough to keep poking Phil or Jarrod by calling them men or other IRL trolling for the goon squad to fire at said transphobe. Then they'd REALLY be up shit's creek, especially Kevie and Jen if it was Phil who had to be detained for hair trigger tard fighting.
 
Sexy Senior Citizen said:
If he does, do we start a new thread, or just change the title of this one?
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It's probably not worth the effort to do either. They couldn't manage recycling and dry-walling for more than a few weeks but, suddenly, they're competent and disciplined enough to become a legitimate private security company? I don't believe that.

And that's just the tip of the shitberg. There's still the blatant problems of chronic drug abuse (weed, opioids, and meth if I recall correctly), mental illness, emotional/mental instability (remember, a mere whiff of BPD pussy was all it took to implode the tranch's hierarchy and social cohesion), and failing health. Who's going to hire a zonked-out, easily-offended, ailing tranny with morgue breath to guard one's life or valuables?
 
Ghostse said:
Knowing why

A bunch of narcistic mentally ill men in dresses tacticool battlerattle, fucking up their body's chemical systems, and being given power. How long until the first negligent discharge?
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They've already got plenty of negligent discharge.
At least, Amhole does...
 
How many side hustles has the tranch failed at so far? First they were doing the recycling collection for the county which they gave up on, then there was the tranny haven posturing which has disappeared with all the field troons, Ash Coyote's never released documentary, the one and done mutual aid for the Oglala, FurCon appearances that introduced Kindness to the mix and destroyed Paul and Sky's relationship while losing them money, one successful and completely squandered GoFundMe followed by the winter one that did barely any numbers, their now shuttered Etsy shop selling their trash quality alpaca yarn and now they're the world's shittiest contractors. How do they have time to also do security gigs? Who's taking care of the alpacas?

ETA: this entire list of fail took place in less than two years from 2020-now
 
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Fucking Ew.

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Mushroom Mac N cheese? Also, I feel the need to point out that Mac N Cheese is already vegetarian, dude.

(I wouldn't trust Jen to clean all the shit dirt off of the mushrooms before cooking them, personally)
 
MissAnthropist said:
Fucking Ew.

View attachment 3471122

Mushroom Mac N cheese? Also, I feel the need to point out that Mac N Cheese is already vegetarian, dude.

(I wouldn't trust Jen to clean all the shit dirt off of the mushrooms before cooking them, personally)
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That looks like a bucket of boneless gender more than anything.

Taking appetizing looking photos of food must be another skill they just don’t have.
 
Are they using soy milk and vegan cheese to make this atrocity? It hardly counts as vegetarian if they're using dairy products.

Not that it matters one whit whether it's vegetarian or not. Having the meal cooked by the resident shit eater is something only a trancher would feel comfortable with. For sane people that would be a deal breaker.
 
AprilRains said:
My wish was granted!
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The Monkey Paw is thinking over your wish all "I don't even have to do anything to make this wish horrific... am I missing something?"

Lt. Abigail Black said:
They've already got plenty of negligent discharge.
At least, Amhole does...
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I was hoping someone would take that low-hanging fruit.
Because the tranchers already paid a surgeon to pluck their plums
 
AirdropShitposts said:
The rational human being in me says "what could go wrong?" but the bona fide SICKO in me says "YES HA HA HA YES!"
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They don't have enough warm bodies to play "security company" right now, so Penny's trying to bring in more people.

Before, he was sourcing tranchhands from the pool of broke-brained troons with an RV and no common sense, the kind of people to leave by vagueposting on Twitter and then melting off into the night.

Now he wants mall ninjas, armed troon separatists and post-operators to join his PMC, and maybe come live with them in the breakaway nation of Outer Kevin.

This could end up another damp squib like the handyman business, but if Penny manages to expand the cast of characters, we might get our Troon Waco after all.
 
S.C.U.D. said:
I for one am very much looking forward to the Tenacious Unicorn Rent-A-Cop saga. Paul Blart, eat your heart out.
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Phil Lounge, Mall Ninja.
JanusMendacium said:
weed, opioids, and meth if I recall correctly
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Weed for sure, opiods posssibly confirmed but not really: there was Penny asking for Narcan donations to the Lakota. People told him he could get it from behind the counter for cheap/free. Whether it was a field troon, him or the house troons after surgery, an honest question, or something else is a mystery.

Meth has never been confirmed, just their teeth and skin bad but not enough evidence otherwise.

MissAnthropist said:
Fucking Ew.

View attachment 3471122

Mushroom Mac N cheese? Also, I feel the need to point out that Mac N Cheese is already vegetarian, dude.

(I wouldn't trust Jen to clean all the shit dirt off of the mushrooms before cooking them, personally)
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@Hollywood Hulk Hogan Sorry there's been no food pictures, please enjoy this hell.

Aunt Carol said:
Now he wants mall ninjas, armed troon separatists and post-operators to join his PMC, and maybe come live with them in the breakaway nation of Outer Kevin.
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But how many anarchist gun nut troons are out there? These guys are unique among most troon cows. How many anarcho-liberals (Phil's true affiliation iirc? or was it anarchocapitalist?) are troons or will join forces with them?
 
AMHOLIO said:
But how many anarchist gun nut troons are out there? These guys are unique among most troon cows. How many anarcho-liberals (Phil's true affiliation iirc? or was it anarchocapitalist?) are troons or will join forces with them?
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More than you'd think, I think; there are spates of gunposting on the Tranny Sideshows thread, and there are plenty of ex-military troons. This would be an opportunity to LARP two midlife crisis identities in one: pretty princess and rogue mercenary badass.

Penny's good at failing, so I'm not optimistic about his security company. If this plan attracts trans-identified weirdo drifters, though, they'd be made of sterner emotional stuff than the Twitter FtMs.

Troon vets with pensions squatting in a shantytown of semi-functional RVs would be a comparatively sound economic model for an independent Tranch.
 
Winnie the Poohnani said:
Are they using soy milk and vegan cheese to make this atrocity? It hardly counts as vegetarian if they're using dairy products.

Not that it matters one whit whether it's vegetarian or not. Having the meal cooked by the resident shit eater is something only a trancher would feel comfortable with. For sane people that would be a deal breaker.
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Not even close. Although to be fair he didn't say vegan Mac N cheese (nor could I understand why anyone would want vegan Mac N cheese)

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