🗑️ Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

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Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.7%

  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,304 53.9%

  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 518 21.4%
  • Total voters
    2,421
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Insanely Retarded said:
That used to be Ralph's avatar before he was doxed a shitty clipart skull with a crown.
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Oh fuck, you're right, and the sad thing is I used to like his show back then. Goes to show how unremarkable he always was
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Also, why does Google return a picture of Ralph with an Asian man in his lap when I looked up his old icon? Also this PPP lost hoodie which aged really poorly.
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Funniest part is trying to use the same argument as Sargon, the whole "you could have been a leader", which if anyone would care enough to go back and listen to old KS episodes, Ralph argues against when Sargon said it.
At this point it's like Null said, it's too much work to prove he's a hypocrite so no one bothers anymore.
 
Ralph, you're the biggest coward in the world. You take shots at Jade like a snake because you're a gutless fag-bag wearing creep too scared to attack Jim directly. Then you won't even call Jim out by name in your latest 9th-grade essay. Go ahead and drop those DMs and fire up his fans even more dumbass. They'll run every one of your paypiggies and twitter ass lickers to ground and make life hell for all of them.

theralphretort.com/fear-0201022/
 
Insanely Retarded said:
Funniest part is trying to use the same argument as Sargon, the whole "you could have been a leader", which if anyone would care enough to go back and listen to old KS episodes, Ralph argues against when Sargon said it.
At this point it's like Null said, it's too much work to prove he's a hypocrite so no one bothers anymore.
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Fuck, I forgot all about Sargon throwing a bitchfit about Jim not wanting to be some faggy 'political leader'.

How well did trying that work out for you, Carl?
 
this nigga stayed up to 4am to write a breakup letter cause the meanies on the internet laughed at his misfortune, WHY DO YOU HAVE A PURSE?
 
cocaigne said:
good shit @WhimsicalTrolli but have you heard my latest rap?

here it is:
View attachment 2940352
FEAR
What must it be like to live in abject fear?

Not the everyday variety. Life is hard, and we’re all scared, to some degree. Sickness, death, birth, life…the mysteries of existence. These things have torn at the psyche of great (and lesser) men since time began.

Fear itself is not new.

What I’m talking about is a different kind of fear. One that keeps you from leaving your house. One that causes you to change the name you were born with. One that pushes you into deluding your fellow citizens into the nightmare COVID regime.

All because, at your core, you are a scared, old man who’s simply afraid to die.

You’ve never had any real convictions your whole life. You’re proud of that, even! Or, so you say. In reality, you are a scared child praying, hoping, wishing that you could escape your just rewards. You’ll do anything, suck off any one, to avoid it. You simply can’t live as you have portrayed yourself. It’s too much! You cry about it in Twitter dm’s, you whine to your fat Asian hog….but deep down, you know this is what you signed up for.

And you can’t fucking stand it.

You entire life is a fabrication. You duck and dive and do whatever you possibly can to avoid the piper getting paid. You put your own family at risk. You do anything, anything at all, to avoid simply owning up to your deeds. You have no core whatsoever, and what you do claim as personality traits are simply things you read on a message board.

Most people would see this as a hellish existence…because it is.

There are mistakes I have made, to be sure. But I could never, and would never, live like a fucking bitch. Scared to leave my house…scared of the name my Daddy gave me…scared of fucking COVID…scared of anything and everything.

It’s all terror to you when the microphone is off.

We all know it, too. It’s very easy to see a scared old man, coughing up one of his last breaths in between lame monologues that weren’t even funny 2 years ago, much less now.

I literally would have rather died in the street the other day here in Lisbon than live like a fucking coward, if you can even call what I described above as “living.”

Some people are fine with the delusions. They are comforted by them, even. I understand! I, too, used to love the thought of Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. But there comes a time when childish delusions about a childless loser must come to an end.

It’s the natural course of life, you see.

Well, if you actually live life. If you live like scared, old, bitch…well, maybe you continue on in your delusions.

I won’t hold it against you!

The Emperor has no clothes, he has no children, and he has very few white blood cells left (allegedly).

Maybe, in another life, he wasn’t such a pussy.

See you tomorrow night on the Killstream!

archive.md

Fear

archived 1 Feb 2022 03:26:13 UTC
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My God he is such a passive aggressive bitch. This is probably the funniest post he wrote since his post attacking Null for saying nigger because he got assmad that ZeroHedge published a article Null wrote. I need a break. This is just too much.
 
Hüftpriester said:
But January 2022 has to be unprecedented in Gunt lore. It's pretty fucking crazy to think about everything that's happened to him this month.

- a black man saves him from dying of hypothermia after he strands himself on a backroad during a blizzard.
- narrowly avoids jail time for revenge porn
- falls out with Warski, plans a spite trip with his e-daddy who backs out at the last minute. gets bullied into going to Portugal alone.
- has an autistic hippy show up at his house during the fuck ralph festival to leave the gift of diapers. doesn't do shit about it cause he's a fat pussy.
- goes to Portugal and gets his ass kicked to the point of needing surgery to repair his busted up face, lol
- burns the bridge with Daddy Jim in epic white trash fashion. gator finally draws the line and will take his broom elsewhere, probably to flamenco's channel.

I feel like I'm still forgetting something but damn, Ralph is pushing the limits of public humiliation. It's truly something to behold.
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He's reached an unprecedented level of self immolation in general at this point. Out of all of the IBS hosts and other spastic e-celebs that have crashed and burned over the last few years Ralph has outdone them all. Kraut, JF, Sargon, Mundane Matt, even Donga. Only Ralph managed to fly to a different continent to get the literal shit kicked out of him and then immediately follow it up by starting an unwinnable sperg jihad against metokur. Truly, the gold standard in bloodsports!
 
I never thought the Lisbon trip would be this devastating for Ralph.

I legit thought it'd just be Ralph eating shrimp with mayo alone for a week before flying home.

Then he gets his ass mugged, forcing him to stay in Portugal until he recovers and I thought "this is very funny, but I doubt that much will come of this long term aside from new memes."

Then Jim finally mocks Ralph because the assault was so utterly humiliating it was impossible to ignore. Ralph retaliates, not only alienating any fans they shared, but Gator. Gator, his #1 Gunt licker who's stuck with him through multiple pillstreams, constant backstabbing, and 2 criminal convictions.

Who does he have left? Pantsu? A few dozen paypigs? The only way this could get any worse for Ralph is if Pantsu wasn't there when he got back, which seems more and more likely given this chain of events.
 
If the ralphamale curse is real, then Metokur ditching Ralph should cure his canceraids. The bridge burning has thus far helped everyone involved.
 
I love how Ralph won't use metokurs name. We all know who this is about, we know who broke his teenage girl heart. Does he think this illusion of mystic will make the impending anal ramming any lighter? Or is it a piss poor intimidation tactic?
 
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