🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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K.O
RALPH NO.png
 
Lesson: never try to beat Andy Warski. Let Andy do it on his own (he will), and you won't get faceblasted by some random Lisbonians
 
Pisstrooper said:
Most importantly, this is not the sort of beating a mugger gives to someone, even if they were "chased down", they just want to subdue the person and gtfo. This was definitely protracted and motivated by an extreme emotional response.
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Agreed, that's why I said I think he tried to play grab ass with the younger sister of the bride at that Moroccan wedding reception he crashed.

My husband said Moroccan's are similar to Algerians, and he remembers a friend of the family had their prized Lada destroyed as a warning because he hit on one on a local girl.
 
He can't come back from this. Dick AND Jim both dunking on him? He can't retaliate against both of them. Ralph is now like Hitler in his bunker seeing the Allies approaching Berlin from the west and the Russians approaching from the east. He's fucking done.
I wonder if he'll just throw himself off a bridge in Portugal instead of returning home to deal with the unending shame.
 
It's not entirely impossible that it was a mugging, most of them only want to do as much violence as stops resistance, preferably none and some threats does the job, but if you piss em off by not giving up or by being a dumb Gunt and running your mouth sure you can get the boots, or you run into a mugger who is a psycho
 
draggs said:
It's not entirely impossible that it was a mugging, most of them only want to do as much violence as stops resistance, preferably none and some threats does the job, but if you piss em off by not giving up or by being a dumb Gunt and running your mouth sure you can get the boots
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All he said was that he fought some people and kept fighting longer than he should have, which makes me think he kept flailing while pinned down on his back by his own gunt so they started kicking him in the head repeatedly.
 
I'll admit, I do feel pretty ghoulish about laughing at this now knowing that he's going to need reconstructive surgery. I didn't realise how badly he got beaten, I thought he just got a broken nose and lost some teeth.
That being said, whatever Ralph did to earn a beating like that must've been pretty bad. You do not find this sort of trouble unless you go out looking for it.
 
You never know, if it happened outside a bar or something, then there could possibly be CCTV footage of the incident. I would pay money to see how it unfolded.
 
Adam "The Lisbon Lacerator" Warski sends his regards.

An actual subhuman, to the point self-preservation is pushed aside for wigger pride.
As a europoor who's always lived in the more diverse parts of town (cheap housing, sue me), I can definitively say you have to go out of your way to annoy the local street gangs to the degree Ralph did.
 
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This morning I said there was a 50/50 chance of an opiate addiction arc in Ralph's future. He didn't appear to be fucked up enough to need a refillable opiate script once back in the US.

Now, I'm guessing it's damn near a certainty. He will absolutely be pumped full of morphine in the hospital and sent home with a script for oxycodone. The recovery time for orbital bone surgery is fairly long, I wouldn't be surprised if a doctor in the US gives him a decent script. After a month or so he'll be hurting without his new pills
 
being beaten so hard you need surgery to fix your eyes, his face will be permanently different, as will how he speaks. his best friend and father figure both turned on him. if May had any brains she'd change the locks, abort the kid and then start a channel leaking everything she can from Ethan's computer. he's literally going to be stuck in a Portuguese hospital for a week.
 
mdrop22 said:
This morning I said there was a 50/50 chance of an opiate addiction arc in Ralph's future. He didn't appear to be fucked up enough to need a refillable opiate script once back in the US.

Now, I'm guessing it's damn near a certainty. He will absolutely be pumped full of morphine in the hospital and sent home with a script for oxycodone. The recovery time for orbital bone surgery is fairly long, I wouldn't be surprised if a doctor in the US gives him a decent script. After a month or so he'll be hurting without his new pills
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Ralph is definitely going to start abusing whatever opioids they perscribe him for the pain. Maybe he'll mix and match with any cocaine he still has lying around.
 
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