💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

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sassyma seed said:
  • @Kitlen , the wacky terrorist who is always up to something shady! They love to say their catchphrase, "I KEETLEN YOU!
  • @Ass Manager 3000 , who is Bender from Futurama my totally new original character Bonder, who loves alcohol and wants you to "Gnaw his sparkly metallic butt!"
  • @varvarstvo , the ghost girl who is *RECORD SCRATCH* bad at being a ghost?
  • Nedyah Kcalb, their smart, handsome, hilarious friend who moderates the thread with his friend...
  • Mary "Transgirl" McSue, co-moderator of the thread with Kcalb, who is trans! Also she's like an artist or some shit but who cares? TRANS!
Watch as these 5 friends come together and make witty observations about the facts of life! In fact, here is the pilot script!

*A static image of a forum screen*
Ass Manager:Man, this show Zen Ged sure is great Kcalb! Where did you hear about it?
Kcalb: I made it all by myself, animated entirely in Photoshop, the pro tool for animators like myself.
Kitlen: Wow that's so cool, it makes me not want to KEETLEN YOU! Where ever did you get that idea?
Kcalb: Funny story, I was at Whole Foods going through the checkout, and they asked me if I wanted paper or plastic? So I tell them, "I'd rather have a DOUCHEBAG!"
*everyone laughs*
McSue: Hahaha, I'm trans!
Kcalb: And then I just got the idea for the show.
Varvarstvo: BOO! Did I scare you guys?
Kcalb: Silly Varvarstvo, that wasn't scary at all! It was about as scary as watching FOX NEWS!
*everyone laughs, credits fly by until they stop on the name Hayden Black. Remainder of show is 18 minutes of holding on that name*

So get ready for the next show that will capture America's hearts with the touching love story between Kcalb and McSue! You thought Friends had tension with the 'will they won't they' dynamic between Rachel and Ross? Well Friends can go FUCK ITSELF, cause i'm a way better writer this is the greatest love story ever told.

Iwi Arms! Coming Fall 2016show will be canceled after first check clears
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From the desk of hayden black

kitlen.jpg


"DO NOT STEAL THESE GREAT CHARACTERS THEY ARE MINE"

sassyma seed said:
  • Nedyah Kcalb, their smart, handsome, hilarious friend who moderates the thread with his friend...
  • Mary "Transgirl" McSue, co-moderator of the thread with Kcalb, who is trans! Also she's like an artist or some shit but who cares? TRANS!
Click to expand...

Hayden is always the transgirl btw

haydensad.png


@varvarstvo @Kitlen @sassyma seed
 
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Whelp, he did it. He found a way to make that stupid "pew pew" catchphrase crap even more irritating.

 
My palm is now permanently stuck to my face.

It's like Hayden is some sort of robot designed to suck all comedy out of this world.
 
sassyma seed said:
So this person who's claiming to have been there must've been one of those two friends. Do you remember if it was her? I think there's a pic up thread.
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From what I see and remember, NOT AT ALL. I call BS.
 
can I be in the parody pls

I swear, Hayden's "humor" is degrading over time, and not slowly. (And also not in the good/funny way.)
 
The amazing thing about Hayden Black is that I have never, in my years of interacting with people in real life, on the web or just researching people, come across someone who is as unfunny as him. Even the most unfunny of people have a joke or two that lands once in a while, but him, he is like a black hole of humor. Any topic or subject, even ones that seem inherently funny, becomes a confusing, unfunny mess of a joke when told by Hayden Black. He truly is special as a "comedian", just not in the way he thinks he is.
 
Whatisgoingon said:
Any topic or subject, even ones that seem inherently funny, becomes a confusing, unfunny mess of a joke when told by Hayden Black. He truly is special as a "comedian", just not in the way he thinks he is.
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Even Chris's random access humor is often funnier. There are tons of things Chris has said that get quoted over and over again. I can't imagine even remembering any of these unfunny wet farts from Hayden.
 
Whatisgoingon said:
The amazing thing about Hayden Black is that I have never, in my years of interacting with people in real life, on the web or just researching people, come across someone who is as unfunny as him. Even the most unfunny of people have a joke or two that lands once in a while, but him, he is like a black hole of humor. Any topic or subject, even ones that seem inherently funny, becomes a confusing, unfunny mess of a joke when told by Hayden Black. He truly is special as a "comedian", just not in the way he thinks he is.
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It's almost as if he is being deliberately unfunny so that he can gain the same status that people like Andrew Dice Clay and George Lopez have where they are so unfunny that they become famous. However I doubt this is the case with Hayden, he is just incapable of telling a joke.
 
Wezofthenow said:
It's almost as if he is being deliberately unfunny so that he can gain the same status that people like Andrew Dice Clay and George Lopez have where they are so unfunny that they become famous. However I doubt this is the case with Hayden, he is just incapable of telling a joke.
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I don't think Hayden is even on the same level as Andrew Dice Clay, who at least has comedic timing and delivery. Or even George Lopez.

I'm trying to think of someone less funny.

Carlos fucking Mencia is more funny than Hayden Black, and he's about as funny as wallpaper paste.
 
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