🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Hüftpriester said:
Imagine the paramedics that got called to the scene. Just looking down at Ralph's busted face as he spits out blood and tries to figure out where he is. That must have been some funny shit to see in person.
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"Ele pesa mais de 500 quilos!!?"
"Precisamos de mais 8 homens!"
 
Jack Awful said:
Damn, these are real Tweets.
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Yeah. We need the autists here to come up with a mathematical equation to calculate the amount of Gunt Rage this is going to produce on The Rekieta Scale.
  • A shart (not a big deal) generated enough Gunt Rage(A) for Ralph to go completely scorched earth on Nick Rekieta (beloved founder of The Rekieta Scale)
  • A savage beat down (red level big deal) = X
We need to calculate the differences in severity, and then multiply that by A to mathematically predict how much Gunt Rage this will generate. But, I'm not sure if we should include injuries as a variable in the equation at this point or not. I just can't figure out the math on this. I'm sorry.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
Oh, I think he considered trying to hide it but realized there was no way he could hide for two weeks plus, he insists on streaming his face face on the KS for unfathomable reasons so he would have been MIA from grifting till March. Even if he tried to lay low until shit healed his face is going to have scars and show signs of that beat down for months. Ralph doesn’t heal fast at all and some of those marks might be permanent, even more so if he’s missing teeth too.

I think he took the photo now because he will look even WORSE the next 72 hours. He’s swollen now, that will continue, but by tomorrow the horrendous discolored bruising will begin. Remember what Ralph’s chest looked like after the car accident? His face isn’t going to fare much better this week.
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Dumbass should've just said "I had an allergic reaction to some of the seafood, and It's messing me up bad" and tried to at least wait a couple of days for at least the swelling to go down.
 
Hüftpriester said:
Imagine the paramedics that got called to the scene. Just looking down at Ralph's busted face as he spits out blood and tries to figure out where he is. That must have been some funny shit to see in person.
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he probably squealed trying to avoid the humiliation of being hauled to the vet.
Kramer on the phone said:
try 24 hours. for fucks sake the swelling hasn't gone down, at the very least you'd think he'd hide that.

>guy known for thin skin and getting into fights when drunk is sure to end up getting his ass kicked if he goes to a place where even the "whites" have "nigger moments"

its like calling that the detroit lions will lose an NFL game 20 years from now, like yeah most likely. there was a 70% shot this would happen, don't act like Nostradamus.
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i think he gets in these modes where hes just glad hes not dead after major things and forgets that the alogs will mock the shit out of him and he will definitely care about it for the time it takes him to post it. also lol hes trying to read this thread rn in the hospital.

also ralph is also a massive coward and probably got beaten after doing something so its not that easy of a call, because let me tell you i alogged ralph for years and have sat through aeons of nothing like this funny shit happening or ralph engaging with anyone in anyway, i get most people arent that autistic but please do remember ralph usually just burps and sharts and goes to sleep normally.
WutangLee said:
Dumbass should've just said "I had an allergic reaction to some of the seafood, and It's messing me up bad" and tried to at least wait a couple of days for at least the swelling to go down.
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nah ralph wouldnt be able to come up with good excuses when alogs started poking holes in his story.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
I think he took the photo now because he will look even WORSE the next 72 hours. He’s swollen now, that will continue, but by tomorrow the horrendous discolored bruising will begin. Remember what Ralph’s chest looked like after the car accident? His face isn’t going to fare much better this week.
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Worse is an understatement considering there is not a bit of his face that isn't swollen up, he's gonna be temporary blackface for at least a week. It should actually be starting to get a but of colour turning up as I post this.

Also he definitely has dental damage, would not be shocked to find he took a kick to the face, looks it on the right eye.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
Yeah. We need the autists here to come up with a mathematical equation to calculate the amount of Gunt Rage this is going to produce on The Rekieta Scale.
  • A shart (not a big deal) generated enough Gunt Rage(A) for Ralph to go completely scorched earth on Nick Rekieta (beloved founder of The Rekieta Scale)
  • A savage beat down (red level big deal) = X
We need to calculate the differences in severity, and then multiply that by A to mathematically predict how much Gunt Rage this will generate. But, I'm not sure if we should include injuries as a variable in the equation at this point or not. I just can't figure out the math on this. I'm sorry.
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Jim confirmed mocking him for this too.
 
So how many texts and DM’s is @Null going to wake up to? His has been 110 % vindicated on his prediction on what would happen to Ralph if he left the safety and protection of the American wigger zone.

Just think a few days ago Ralph was shrieking in terror over a finger gun and box of Pampers, while Portugal was quietly lying in wait the whole time.
 
Pisstrooper said:
He's definitely missing some teeth, I've seen it before with a friend in a car accident. That or the inside of his lips are swollen causing the outer lips to point inward like that.



The edit actually got me for a second as I am retarded. I was confused as to how he got home so quickly lmao. He said his cards got taken, and his bag too so maybe even his passport. So he's stranded in Portugal with no access to funds (his shitty phone probably doesn't have android/apple pay), the only way he's getting home any time soon would be going to the embassy, but the second they saw his felonious, ADL-listed ass waddle up to the gates they'd start firing bean bags at him.
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If you have to get a replacement passport while abroad do they have to take a fresh picture for it?
 
Fannyscum said:
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Jack Awful said:
Damn, these are real Tweets.
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So, to summarize, Gunt got his shit shoved in, got his manpurse stolen, his ayylawgs are having the time of their lives, and both of his e-daddies (Dick and Jim) openly shat on him for being an absolute retard. All within one night.
We’re approaching never-before-seen levels of FELTED. This is more ruinous for him than the sex tape.
And it’s only been the first month of the Year of the Chud. Just what will happen to him next...
 
I don't think Ralph was wandering around aimlessly at night, his trip has been extremely sedentary so far. At best he was getting a street snack for le gunt, but I'd say something more illicit was afoot, either prostitutes or drugs.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
I also forgot to calculate the amount of Portuguese witchcraft sent by Warski's family in the Azores to shield themselves from The Gunt as a variable. I'm sorry guys, I'm just not very good at math.
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I said it before and I’ll say it again - the only way this event could be even funnier is if the muggers are Andy’s relatives.

it’s real to me dammit
 
I wouldn't be surprised if Ralph necked himself at this point. If this keeps up, he's going to be a fat cripple with no money and no wife.
 
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