💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

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  • April-May 2024

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  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

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  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556

What a weird fucking video.

Why the fuck you would coat baked chicken in sweet cereal..and only sweet cereal.

"Did you think it would be good?

"Yes"- Jr in between slurping his own fingers

"Oh I didn't think it would, I took a sneak peek out of the oven and it was awesome"

Wat.

Jack thought the overbaked unseason chicken sucked but part of his brain remembered he was filming a paid sponsor video.

Only part jr tasted was the fucking coating. Which was literally just cereal.
 
While the stuff that Mushbrain made looks like absolute dogshit, sauteeing your rice in butter or oil before cooking is a staple when making certain dishes like risotto or pilaf.
Agreed, and it's literally on the instructions for Rice-a-Roni, too. I usually saute aromatic rices like basmati in butter first, too, before adding the water. The way he did it with linguine was repulsive though, and so is the way he blasted this current dish up to high without constantly stirring it, so it was unevenly browned.

And the cardinal crime was boiling pork chops. Who the fuck told him that was good? Those must have been like flavorless shot leather.
 
I guess stroke brain forgot the concept of washing your hands before you eat
I don't think he forgot, because I'm sure he didn't know that to begin with. We've seen him share plates between different dishes of food after they carried raw meat. Hygiene and basic health don't apply to the brain of mush.
 

What a weird fucking video.

Why the fuck you would coat baked chicken in sweet cereal..and only sweet cereal.

"Did you think it would be good?

"Yes"- Jr in between slurping his own fingers

"Oh I didn't think it would, I took a sneak peek out of the oven and it was awesome"

Wat.

Jack thought the overbaked unseason chicken sucked but part of his brain remembered he was filming a paid sponsor video.

Only part jr tasted was the fucking coating. Which was literally just cereal.
It doesn't seem like that bad of an idea. Waffles and chicken were popular for a while, and cinnamon is an excellent spice for North African Savouries. Chicken with a honey and cinnamon or maple syrup and cinnamon glaze is awesome. Someone actually competent could do a good sweet and savory breading with cinnamon toast crunch.

What was bizarre about that video was the body language. Fat Boi Cali was leaning as far away from Jack as he could possibly get and was biting his lips counting down the seconds before he could get away from Jack. As soon as he could, Junior ran away

Instead of talking to Junior about how to eat a chicken piece like a civilized human being while on camera, Jack berated him, giving the impression Jack thought Jr was too stupid to have an opinion on chicken.

PC&TL acted like Jr is an irredeemable glutton for eating that Burger King Burger in seven bites, but in that video and this video we see Jr can't stand to be in Jack's presence. I think Jr eats like a wolf so he can be excused from the table as quickly as possible. If the hamburger or chicken is eaten, he can't be expected to have any more opinions, and can get away from Jack.

Both are assholes. I just hate to see the sins of the father vesting onto the child.
 
Hello Friends,

Happy Sunday. Hope we all caught ep 37 of "The Boys' Club" this week. In case you missed it, here are some highlights.
I hope you're not eating anything when you watch. If the...Scrapple grinding doesn't nutshot your appetite, the Pie contest damned will.

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Just saying there needs to be merch available that says “We CU Piggy” and various other catchphrases!

some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

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Truly wise words from Jack ‘Mushbrain’ Scalfani, world’s renowned economist AND epidemiologist who is able to conjure such insights with a gimp arm and busted leg!

Edit: format
 
Extremely high cringe factor in that video entirely caused by Jack's narcissism and using his son as a prop in his video.

It's the 30th anniversary of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the taste you can see! Jack is stunned at just how much time has slipped away since the 90s. Jack begins the video by saying he 'got a call from Cinnamon Toast Crunch' and not General Mill's, the company that owns and produces that cereal.

Jack immediately puts Jr. on the spot, asking him what his own video is about. It's so obvious Jack never does anything to rehearse his videos because Jr. clearly does not know that Jack is about to ask him this. Jack likely does this to gain narc supply from making other people out to be useless idiots while he paints himself as a master chef, in total control of his workspace.

Once Jr.'s usefulness in the video has passed, he dismisses his son with the phrase: "You're gonna' go away." Jr. walks away despondent, and Jack is totally unable to comprehend why his son is giving him the cold shoulder.

Jack then demonstrates a profound lack of creativity at the prospect of doing a dessert, ya know, the kind of recipe one would likely use cinnamon for. Dismissing the notion outright with the phrase: "I wanna do meat." Making a dessert would likely require Jack think about how the ingredients combine with one another to produce the over all dish and that would require time and effort and talent. So instead, Jack decides to just grind up some Cereal, and dunk the chicken in it after glazing it with egg. He then bakes it in the oven and calls it a day.

Jack spends an extortionate amount of time with an introduction to a food processor with a whopping two settings on it. We are then subjected to Jack struggling to figure out how these two buttons operate the speed of this food processor for almost a full minute of this six and a half minute video.

Jack is unable to say the word Cinnamony. This is something that any other youtuber would cut as a mistake but Jack seems to think it makes him seem genuine to flub his lines on camera. Something he constantly berates other people for while not even part of a video, just trying to live their lives.

At the end Jack calls Jr. over and tells him to "take a monster bite." Jr. then takes a small bite of the chicken. Jack then tells his son that the bite that he took was too small, he wants him to show everybody the forbidden Scalfani food diver technique, clan Scalfani is so famous for. Jr. concedes and takes a huge bite out of the chicken. Jack is shocked! How could his son eat in such a disgusting manor? And on camera no less! Jack berates his son for "eating like an animal" even though he specifically forced him to eat exactly like that. What a cunt.
 
Junior sure has his mom's uh lean....and leaning instinctively away from senior.
cali-lean.png
 
Junior acts like an anxious dog the whole time. It's like this was take 3 and he'd been beaten for fucking up the first two. Their dynamic is so fucking weird I would have been embarrassed to post a video like that.
 
Jack spends an extortionate amount of time with an introduction to a food processor with a whopping two settings on it. We are then subjected to Jack struggling to figure out how these two buttons operate the speed of this food processor for almost a full minute of this six and a half minute video.
If you know this kind of mini-food processor, they have two settings, one of them spins the blade clockwise, the other counterclockwise. Since the spinning blade is bent a bit, one of them tends to force whatever you're processing down to the bottom, and the other up to the top.

So if you do food processor shit you'll generally tend to use both buttons especially if you're mixing different stuff, as opposed just to crushing one ingredient made nearly entirely out of sugar, as well as stopping to open it up and shove stuff on the sides down into the mix with a rubber spatula.
And on camera no less! Jack berates his son for "eating like an animal" even though he specifically forced him to eat exactly like that. What a cunt.
God I hate this bastard. I hope he meets his end at the hands of John Doe, who forces him to gargle down raw meat until he dies.
 
Agreed, and it's literally on the instructions for Rice-a-Roni, too. I usually saute aromatic rices like basmati in butter first, too, before adding the water. The way he did it with linguine was repulsive though, and so is the way he blasted this current dish up to high without constantly stirring it, so it was unevenly browned.

And the cardinal crime was boiling pork chops. Who the fuck told him that was good? Those must have been like flavorless shot leather.
I usually just instapot my rice and glop it into whatever I am making last or second to last. My rice technique isn't fancy.
Hello Friends,

Happy Sunday. Hope we all caught ep 37 of "The Boys' Club" this week. In case you missed it, here are some highlights.
I hope you're not eating anything when you watch. If the...Scrapple grinding doesn't nutshot your appetite, the Pie contest damned will.

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Can concur about the fire thing. When I was a teenager we used to love setting assorted dumpsters and what not on fire. There just wasn't a lot to do back then.

Outstanding job tapdancing this week Lazy Man. Jack didn't give you much to work with but you managed to make a silk purse out of a pig's ear.
 
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some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

View attachment 2912870
So I guess that Mushbrain doesn't wash his hands before eating or after touching doorknobs and having a donut is exactly the same as catching COVID?

Although if you pay $10 to have a salad delivered then you deserve to be made fun of. So you know, stopped clock and all that.

It's because donuts are the stereotypical "unhealthy fat person" food which is why Jack brings it up.
And you just know that he's scarfed down a lot of donuts in his life. You don't get to be the shape of a bowling ball by watching what you eat.

It doesn't seem like that bad of an idea. Waffles and chicken were popular for a while, and cinnamon is an excellent spice for North African Savouries. Chicken with a honey and cinnamon or maple syrup and cinnamon glaze is awesome. Someone actually competent could do a good sweet and savory breading with cinnamon toast crunch.
Yeah but cinnamon is such a powerful spice that you need to be really careful with how much you use otherwise it just overpowers everything.

What he should have done is use some of it mixed in with normal breadcrumbs like a 5:1 breadcrumb to cereal mix. Enough to give it some flavor but also add something else to it like, salt, maybe some corriander, ginger, tumeric, cayenne and other spices to bring out the flavor and not be so one note. I mean ras el hanout is a great North African spice that goes well with chicken. But what do you expect from Mushbrain? He was a fucking mushbrain before his strokes and only got worse.
 
I hope he meets his end at the hands of John Doe, who forces him to gargle down raw meat until he dies.
I always wondered how the undead in Warcraft 3 made Abominations. Didn't really want to know, but still!

jack_scalfani.png
 
some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

Fucking lardball retard doesn't know about a little thing called hand sanitizer. The one other thing that was mentioned everywhere on the early coof year, not an easy thing to miss, Jack!

Jack is precisely the kind of retard that thinks they are smarter than everyone else in the room. Not having high expectations about randoms is normal, but people like Jack tune it up and believe themselves to be smarter than almost everyone that is either known for their intelligence (unless they don't respect them, usually based on politics) or people they personally respect, like the Murder Church people on Jack's case lol!

I hate that I have to think about this again, but people probably lean away from Jack because he has a… less than rigorous understanding of personal hygiene.
Fatsos aren't necessarily rancid smelling. Some of them are conscious of their potential, so they do humanity a favor and have rigid personal hygiene. Jack doesn't strike me as a smelly one, in fact mommywife might not tolerate that behaviour from him!

I don't think he forgot, because I'm sure he didn't know that to begin with. We've seen him share plates between different dishes of food after they carried raw meat. Hygiene and basic health don't apply to the brain of mush.
Believe it or not, this isn't a Jack thing. Chefs like Gordon Ramsay and others constantly remind people that raw meat is infectious precisely because most people simply aren't aware that they are handling parts of a butchered animal due to the dissociation that comes with simply looking at a cleanly cut steak, you don't instantly think of the cattle when looking at it!

And I mean it, I personally had to confront some friends in moments of idiocy when they were preparing meats for grilling, by rubbing them directly on the salt pot. Had to use as much salt as possible and then throw away the rest thanks to a retard who decided to rub a piece of raw, seasoned chicken directly on the pot. Nice one, retard!
 
some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

View attachment 2912870
Much as it pains me, I have to give Jacko a half-hearted nod on the second point. But instead of racking up bikini bottom reaction stickers I'll just leave it at that. I can't get past the elephant's foot of retardation in the first and third points to even bother.

How many salads is this gastropod eating anyways...and where is he getting $20 salads? I'm not saying that $20 salads don't exist, it's just that why bother? It's not healthier. A house salad with a side of dressing at a sit-down is like, what, $6? Maybe $2 of ingredients go into that.

I hate that I have to think about this again, but people probably lean away from Jack because he has a… less than rigorous understanding of personal hygiene.
Accusing gentle Jack of having sub-standard hygiene? How dare you!



Lifted from https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-scalfani-cooking-with-jack.13468/post-10359167
Someone else clipped the vid.
 
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I have an image in my head that I cannot shake.

Jack stands next to a handicap door button, with his left arm facing it. He rotates his upper half to the right, and snaps it back. The momentum makes his limp stroke arm ricochet into the button like the uncontrollable meat log his arm has become. All this just to enter a mall, go straight to the food court, eat at the Panda Express, and rate it an A- on Google.
 
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I have an image in my head that I cannot shake.

Jack stands next to a handicap door button, with his left arm facing it. He rotates his upper half to the right, and snaps it back. The momentum makes his limp stroke arm ricochet into the button like the uncontrollable meat log his arm has become. All this just to enter a mall, go straight to the food court, eat at the Panda Express, and rate it an A- on Google.
You guys make me want to make a burner facebook account just to see the full story of the snippets that get posted...

That said, picturing Jacko trying to do the most mundane tasks for us normies got me to thinking what would happen if he stuck his gimp arm into one of those blood pressure cuffs at the walmarts or any food/drug stores? I'm curious what the results would look like.
 
jack strikes me as the type of person who thinks that only gay people wipe their asses, and therefor has never fucking wiped to le ebicly own da haters XDDDD
 
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