💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
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I don't have chapter and verse, but Jack said he's afraid of having a male dog because the male dog would have a penis.

We could debate implications all day. That's something that should not be forgotten in the JackLore.
 
You guys really think anyone in their right mind would bother looking into Jack's death? Short of caving his skull in with a hammer, Big T could solve her Jack problem in a million ways.

No one will look twice, especially not if they have prearranged funeral plans (and after stroke 2, they really should). Wheeled into the morgue, left to chill for a bit, wheeled out and off to the crematorium or whatever.

Tammy could be google searching "how to kill fat cripple idiot husband named Jack" and I doubt anyone would find out.
 
desu91 said:
Just the title itself sounds like straight out of a porn flick.

Also isn’t it weird Fatty didn’t record the meat being eaten at church? And how the murder church people found it? Odd.
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Says it's alot of work then makes Tammy do it all. Also doubt that the church people told jack they needed meat smoked.
 
Neko GF said:
Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Church Meat_480p.mp4
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Where is the salt?

Also I can understand putting coffee into a rub, as it has a nice roasted earthy tone to round out the flavors. Now when I think of coffee itself or an ingredient im not thinking of chocolate exactly, although dark chocolate is bitter however coffee has tanins and acidity that help in flavoring and tenderizing meat. Maybe this manchild still has chocolate on his mind after he was told no at Aldi. He went as minimal as hell with this when ive seen him make rubs with more ingredients, but as he passively mentions he doesnt really want to do this so hes half assing it. He just wanted good boy points and now got stuck cooking his weekly meat portions on a mens group.

All of this mess reminds me of when you have a big cookout and you have a kid mix a few things together while the adults cook and assemble the meal. Jack basically mixed 4 things he likes and wanted at that moment and patted it on meat. His wife did all the work. Now they have a ton of off seasoned CHURCH MEAT.
 
do none of the Scalfanis drink? i thought it was just Jack. and i always got the vibe from the way he says it that there’s a reason.
DontEatThat said:
Where is the salt?

Also I can understand putting coffee into a rub, as it has a nice roasted earthy tone to round out the flavors. Now when I think of coffee itself or an ingredient im not thinking of chocolate exactly, although dark chocolate is bitter however coffee has tanins and acidity that help in flavoring and tenderizing meat. Maybe this manchild still has chocolate on his mind after he was told no at Aldi. He went as minimal as hell with this when ive seen him make rubs with more ingredients, but as he passively mentions he doesnt really want to do this so hes half assing it. He just wanted good boy points and now got stuck cooking his weekly meat portions on a mens group.

All of this mess reminds me of when you have a big cookout and you have a kid mix a few things together while the adults cook and assemble the meal. Jack basically mixed 4 things he likes and wanted at that moment and patted it on meat. His wife did all the work. Now they have a ton of off seasoned CHURCH MEAT.
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i also love how he has that text saying “use equal parts of each ingredient” for the rub, and does exactly the opposite.
 
That awkward shoulder lean right before the title card. Jack is trying so hard to show us that his stroke arm works. He's also trying hard to prove that his smoker hoarding has a reason, even though he can't even remember what they are. "This is the Pit Boss vertical smoker, and it is the, uh, I think it's, uh, copper something?" Jack thinks pulled pork is a type of cut apparently. Tammy ends up doing most of the work, Jack makes her double wrap the meats afterward for some specious reason. Declared a success without even cutting anything open.
 
Finally! The hoard can return

Also what’s with all the gay vibes of this post…

-MANN MADE
-Song by “The Perfect Gentlemen”

Is he trying to signal Keto Bear or Meat Marine?

EBCE2A17-F7F3-4D10-8931-1E06DAF56965.jpeg
 
What's interesting is we got a glimpse inside Jack's fridge. Looks like there's a bottle of wine, some Rao's (RIP Vegas location), a family sized bottle of guacamole, and what looks to be 5 cans of fucking Redi-whip. Why so much Jack? Actually, forget I asked....one for the kitchen...
 
Who the fuck paid for that waterproof paint deck job? Does their name start with a T, or did they get some government assistance since Junior is classified as a certified retard?
 
That isn't pork or beef. Jack has taken loads of ridicule throughout his life, but a fellow churchgoer questioning his "JESUS > world" snapback and rapidly necrosing arm was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Church Meat" is just Jack's name for long pig. The wendigo has taken over.
 
Fucking CHURCH MEAT, that's an incredible title. The trademark Jack Scalfani routine of forgetting the ingredients in the rub, then making a big dusty pile of spices without measuring at all. He makes a big deal about having all of these flavor profiles in his rub and doesn't think to add fucking salt. I'm surprised Big T didn't accidentally put some of that famous rub on Jack's arm, it's looking more and more like something you'd see in a butcher's window every day.

Also Jack, the woods looking good, must be nice! I'm sure nobody has touched your deck in a long time!
 
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