I try my best. I'm so sorry that people like this exist, even existing in the LGBTQIA+ community. As someone who has lesbian parents and is bi herself, it's so disgusting to me to see that certain gays and lesbians and even some bis have turned on trans people. I hope you're OK.
I've gotta be honest here, I was almost sucked in to their bs at one point abt 3 years ago. I hate saying that and it makes me so ashamed to admit that but it's true. I believed the lies that they were just "concerned" and whilst I have always hated out-and-out TERFs, I was definitely too kind to some of the milder TERFs, and I even thought that trans women at rape crisis shelters and the like could be a problem for traumatised cis women (not bc I thought that trans women were predators in any way, but bc I believed the lies that trans women in these shelters would look "too male" and trigger people's traumas. Again, I'm really and truly sorry for this and I take full accountability for the things I believed back then). I followed trans creators like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah and believed transmed/truscum bs. I have always liked to think of myself as an ally to trans people but I was a terrible "ally" back then. I wasn't full-blown TERF but I was definitely being slowly radicalised and it's only with hindsight that I can see that now. I can't apologise enough for the things I said and believed just a few years ago.
I started following more positive trans creators when I started to realise how much the ones I were watching were just being absolute bullies to anyone who didn't fit their idea of being trans. YouTubers like jammidodger, Sam Collins, and Samantha Lux really helped me get out before it was too late. A few months back now, I saw this video on YouTube that explains how the alt-right radicalises people. It's a great, comprehensive video and basically made me go "oh, shit, this happened to me a little bit." In the video, the narrator explains that there are layers to radicalisation, much like an onion (obligatory Shrek reference lmao). The deepest part is where you find your Alex Joneses and your QAnon crazies, but the very outer layer is where you find semi-reasonable people who drag you in with "oh, we're just concerned about x, y, z" and you try to explain the position of those outside the onion to them and as you listen to more and more of their arguments, just like a country's propaganda, it sucks you in deeper, and deeper, and deeper, until eventually, you're in the centre of the onion and you have no idea how to get out. Every layer has felt normal to you and like nothing has changed because it's all happened so gradually. Some people still don't even notice when they're in the centre of the onion because it's all just felt, and still feels,
so normal. When I watched that, I was stunned. I realised that I was on the outer layer for a while with TERFs. I'm so glad I didn't go any further than that very first, outer layer. I'm so grateful to positive trans creators for helping me to see the error of my ways, even though that's not their job and I should have been a better ally from day one, I know that.
I love trans people, and it breaks my heart to think about the things that I've said and believed in the past that were hurtful to trans people. But I know it's not about me. So since thankfully moving back to more left-wing LGBTQIA+ politics, I've tried my absolute best to boost trans voices as much as I can. I am pretty much housebound due to disability but I try my best in online activism. I watch trans creators, I educate myself about trans issues as much as I can, I argue constantly with transphobes online so that a trans person doesn't have to lol. I used to be a member of an organisation campaigning for independence for my country but transphobes infiltrated that organisation and I was a part of a group of members, trans and cis, who tried our damned hardest to get these transphobes out but the transphobes managed to overturn an election within the organisation bc there were trans people and allies on the central committee and they didn't like that, and after that overturn, I just had to leave. I'm glad I did because afterwards, the now-former central committee came out saying that their superiors in the organisation, including many of the founders, were transphobic, homophobic, racist towards them and would silence them on speaking out against transphobes in the organisation. That just made me sick to my stomach.
I have family and friends who are trans and the last thing I would wanna do is hurt any of them. I absolutely see them as real men, women and non-binary people and I can't stand those that refuse to see them that way. I don't get what the issue is. I'm truly regretful of my brush with TERFs, and of ever supporting the aforementioned organisation (even though I didn't know that they were transphobic, but still). I can't stand seeing allies of minority groups pat themselves on the backs for doing the bare minimum so I really try hard not to do that. I try to take account for the issues
I've contributed to as well. But I really do love and care about trans people and I always have, even if I have made my mistakes. I can't understand why people can't just treat y'all like human beings ffs. Assuming you're a trans woman and not a trans man (if non-binary people want to use these spaces, they can. If not, that's cool too!
), you're always welcome in the bathroom with me, in the changing room with me, in sports with me (I've thankfully never been through sexual assault or domestic violence but if I had, I'd say you're welcome in shelters with me too.
)
TL;DR: Thank you, but I am not perfect.
EDIT:
https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g Here is the onion radicalisation video.
