Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Exceptional Chimp]

Chris as a massage therapist? Oh hell no. Ain't nothing happy about that ending.

Entrepreneur? Yeah, he's got the work ethic for that!

Might as well be a daycare provider.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

I wouldn't trust Chris to fix my plumbing, or anything else in my house.

 

[Easterling]

So for shits I googled "Jobs for the mentally disabled"

Here's what we got

• Welding—$37,477.
• Plumber—$50,000.
• Massage Therapy—$41,729.
• Paralegal—$52,351.
• Biostatistician—$92,426.
• Entrepreneur—$57,360.
• Assistant Engineer—$69,296.
• Veterinary Assistant—$31,659.

A mountain of opportunity for these jobs Chris is 100% qualified for.

Haha fuck you google.

Edit: lmao veterinary assistant

As entertaining as it would be to see chris with a welder, with his poor coordination I dont think that would end well for anyone. Given chris's poor attention span and inablity to focus, I dare say the only thing he could really pull off without too much of a hitch would to work as a cleaner or a shelf stacker.

 

[Spooky Bones]

So for shits I googled "Jobs for the mentally disabled"

Here's what we got

• Welding—$37,477.
• Plumber—$50,000.
• Massage Therapy—$41,729.
• Paralegal—$52,351.
• Biostatistician—$92,426.
• Entrepreneur—$57,360.
• Assistant Engineer—$69,296.
• Veterinary Assistant—$31,659.

When I first saw all the sciency results I thought someone was having a giggle, but...

I wonder if so many of those are connected by misfiring googlrons because they deal with trying to figure out about "mental disabilities."
>Software Developer
>Hewlett Packard
lol

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

The police are aware of his bullshit too. That one cop got his car kicked and i wonder if he just let it go because he just didnt want to deal with that shit.

You can bet your ass that Chris' tall tale of fighting da powa and kicking a police car was just him giving the gentlest bumps possible to a tire with the side of his foot while looking in other direction and only when he was 100% sure the cop wasn't looking either. Chris being the gigantic pussy he is, probably felt like lightsaber dueling Batman while simultaneously bungee jumping and getting a blowjob.

Like when he claimed to have had a gazillion heart attacks in 10 minutes and then blewing the doctor's mind making a pen wildly move around with his psychic powers. At the end he just had heartburn, and the doctor was probably wondering why he didn't pursue a career in marketing instead so he wouldn't have to waste his time contemplating how a transvestite orangutan lets a pen fall from his paw while claiming his imaginary cartoon pokey-man husband is in the room too.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

He could have got a job if he wanted he held a job for a short while, he chose to ignore authority, his manager and fuck it all up. All he truly wants is to piss away his life on video games, porn and MLP shit. Kacy and a few others have attempted but, you hear it in his voice clear as day when she confronts him, he'd rather live on the tugboat and "half" chase china. I say "half" because even when its explained to him how unattractive an unemployed man livings with his parents is he clearly understands it but, weighs the effort it would take to get in shape and put in 40 hours a week and he wants no part in it and has no sense of shame. Jacking off and playing video games all day on your tax dollars is the instant gratification he refuses to give up. He is capable of making a plan and following through when the effort required is minimal like sonichu shit or he thinks he is guaranteed china from a single mediocre task.

As far as the "practical side" of employment the government subsidizes education employment and even housing. Chris would pay less for an apartment, a college degree and the financial incentives for him to be employed make him employable, not to mention if he works a part time job it wouldn't even effect his tugboat. He chooses to moan and cry about having no money but, he could easily work part time after hours janitorial duties for an extra few hundred dollars. There are quite a few LGBT "non-profit" groups that hire all kinds of useless freaks. Keep in mind there are mentally handicapped people working normal jobs, there are a lot of ex cons and even sex offenders working. If chris really wanted to work it's possible he just doesn't want to and nobody in this world has the power to make him want the pride of hard days work.

Grocery stores around here hire downies all the time. But the downies just do as they are asked and don't go around sperging at people about Merge garbage, and they just wear their uniforms, not stupid plastic horns and shit. Chris is less employable than these people because he's fucking obnoxious. No one is going to tolerate his behavior.

 

[Syaoran Li]

He was taught to be a welfare queen by his parents. I think he's too far gone now but he could have been helped if it was utilized by his idiot parents.

Eh, Bob did honestly try to help Chris be a functioning member of society but was too old and incompetent to pull it off, plus he also had to deal with Barb's bad influence. As I recall, Bob didn't put Chris on the tugboat until after the Wendy's job and the first incidents at PVCC with Mary Lee Walsh, so that was a case of Bob realizing that Chris was a lost cause and that putting him on the tugboat could give him some kind of a safety net for the future.

Bob's biggest mistake in raising Chris was mainstreaming him and not getting him the treatment he needed, given the fact that Bob was from the era of snakepit insane asylums and was already old enough to be Chris's grandpa by the time Chris was in elementary school, I can't fault him too much for making the wrong assumption and even if Chris was given the proper special education and treatment, Barb's influence would likely undo a lot of the potential progress that could be made.

Maybe if we're really lucky, Barb's death will be enough of a shock to snap him out of the dimensional merge fantasies but it's highly unlikely.

 

[Shield Breaker]

If barb dies around the same time as Spoony and DSP lose their houses, will we be looking at the Cow version of Three's Company?

 

[troon patrol]

Picturing chris welding something cracks me the fuck up. Its a lot harder than it looks. He however is completely capable of bagging groceries/janitorial duties/merchandise shelf stocking (he even was considering this job) walmart greeter, collecting shopping carts, so many jobs he could do he just doesn't want to put the effort in. He has the willpower of a jellyfish, and nobody was around to tell him to grow the fuck up. Bob started fucking things up by convincing him the world was out to get him during his early days in school when they wanted to put in him in a special program, instead he called them all homos and said they were persecuting him (a phrase that shows up pretty often). Chris gradutes highschool and gets kicked out of junior college and maybe then Bob and barb realize they dun goofed. All he does is lay around the house wake up at noon and screw around the computer and attract harassing phone calls. I think the turning point is when bob realizes Chris jeopardized the house posting the tour of the filth/hoarding for the health dept to scrutinize. Lumberjack is looking down on chris with the "homo" cross dressing outfits and the deadcats and feeling shame.

 

[AnOminous]

Picturing chris welding something cracks me the fuck up. Its a lot harder than it looks. He however is completely capable of bagging groceries/janitorial duties/merchandise shelf stocking (he even was considering this job) walmart greeter, collecting shopping carts, so many jobs he could do he just doesn't want to put the effort in.

He couldn't do anything involving interacting with the public because he'd say and do absolute tard shit.

 

[Tookie]

He couldn't do anything involving interacting with the public because he'd say and do absolute tard shit.

Everyone seems to be forgetting he couldn't hold down a fast food job without terrifying children and getting fired. That was back when Chris was comparatively "normal," now you have troon and dimensional merge shit in the mix too. Chris hasn't gotten better.

 

[TheShaggMan]

Everyone seems to be forgetting he couldn't hold down a fast food job without terrifying children and getting fired. That was back when Chris was comparatively "normal," now you have troon and dimensional merge shit in the mix too. Chris hasn't gotten better.

Unless there's a fast food joint run by troons, he may have some form of income by that. But I'm just .

 

[troon patrol]

He couldn't do anything involving interacting with the public because he'd say and do absolute tard shit.

The first week the manager would have to assign someone with a stick to hit him if he said "sonichu" or the dimenionsal merge after that I think he'd get it. In all seriousness I think he'd get it with some heavy coaching if that doesn't work they'd tell him he's getting demoted to shelf stocking after hours or janetorial work where he wouldn't have contact to the general public if he cuouldn't learn how to not fuck it up.

 

[CiaphasCain]

Welding—$37,477.

I would not trust Christ to weld something, especially if it was something structurally important...

 

[Shiversblood]

I think the turning point is when bob realizes Chris jeopardized the house posting the tour of the filth/hoarding for the health dept to scrutinize.

For some people that would have been a wake up call to attempt to clean up the house but not for Bob. He was afraid of it but not afraid enough to do anything to try and clean the house. He would rather and was willing to lose his house instead of cleaning the house. Being kicked out of the house by the health department was easier than cleaning the house for him.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Everyone seems to be forgetting he couldn't hold down a fast food job without terrifying children and getting fired. That was back when Chris was comparatively "normal," now you have troon and dimensional merge shit in the mix too. Chris hasn't gotten better.

He only tried one time, plus he didn't really have anything on the line for it if he failed. If Bob had pushed him to keep trying he eventually could've gotten the hang of a job. Like how he slogged through college and eventually graduated.

For some people that would have been a wake up call to attempt to clean up the house but not for Bob. He was afraid of it but not afraid enough to do anything to try and clean the house. He would rather and was willing to lose his house instead of cleaning the house. Being kicked out of the house by the health department was easier than cleaning the house for him.

Bob tried. He got Chris to agree with him that the hoard is a problem and they confronted Barb over it, but she bitched and threatened to kill herself if they trashed her stuff.

 

[The Fool]

Chris could probably handle cleaning a doctor's office. You literally just go there after hours every other day and take out the trash and vacuum. He would have literally hours to do what can be done in half an hour, it's barely even work. If he got too stressed from lifting bags of garbage that are literally just full of the paper they put down on the exam tables and probably weigh less than 3 pounds, he can sit in the waiting room and watch TV while fondling his MLP toys until he calms down. It's after hours so there's no one there to judge him.

No doubt in my mind he would get himself fired eventually somehow, probably by yelling at his employer after they tell him he didn't do a good job dusting, but I'm sure he could do that for a few months before that, maybe even a year, probably longer than his Wendy's fiasco.

But of course we're too late for that and his ego has turned into an entire separate mental illness of it's own. I'm sure he wouldn't try for an easy job like that even if he was facing eviction. It's a shame, because I bet something like that would be ideal for him and actually give him a sense of purpose and belonging that he's obviously lacking.

 

[troon patrol]

I would not trust Christ to weld something, especially if it was something structurally important...

Just curious if any other Kiwi here has welded anything with a Mig gun, or brazed two pieces of metal with an oxygen acetylene torch?

It's very difficult to master welding by hand. I should note however there are CNC machines that are idiot proof, including welding machines. put part in, turn a vice to lock, close door hit "GO" button, remove part and repeat. I used to program them for aerospace manufacturing/gunsmithing back in the day. The setup/programming takes a true engineer but, chris could learn how to operate a machine once its setup for him. Lot of sex offenders and convicted felons working CNC machines, no public interaction, the machine can be setup so it will not operate unless the saftey doors are closed making it all fairly idiot proof.

 

[Maxliam]

Eh, Bob did honestly try to help Chris be a functioning member of society but was too old and incompetent to pull it off, plus he also had to deal with Barb's bad influence. As I recall, Bob didn't put Chris on the tugboat until after the Wendy's job and the first incidents at PVCC with Mary Lee Walsh, so that was a case of Bob realizing that Chris was a lost cause and that putting him on the tugboat could give him some kind of a safety net for the future.

Bob's biggest mistake in raising Chris was mainstreaming him and not getting him the treatment he needed, given the fact that Bob was from the era of snakepit insane asylums and was already old enough to be Chris's grandpa by the time Chris was in elementary school, I can't fault him too much for making the wrong assumption and even if Chris was given the proper special education and treatment, Barb's influence would likely undo a lot of the potential progress that could be made.

Maybe if we're really lucky, Barb's death will be enough of a shock to snap him out of the dimensional merge fantasies but it's highly unlikely.

See giving up like that after building a monster is kinda shitty. Yeah I know that Bob came up in a time when it was a nitwit school like Frank Reynolds described on that one episode of Sunny. They would do shit like lobotomies and other horrific and crude shit to the mentally ill. So I can't fault him too hard for not wanting to send Chris to the special school that was going to be a far cry from that. However, Bob also shows a victim complex like the Game Place employee call that Alec made where he goes on a tangent about a gay conspiracy. Again, Chris comes from shitty stock and they raised him poorly. Even if it was the best intentions from his parents, their best was pure shit.

Bob tried. He got Chris to agree with him that the hoard is a problem and they confronted Barb over it, but she bitched and threatened to kill herself if they trashed her stuff.

So she threatened them with a good time and they didn't call her bluff? Fucking pussies!

 

[AnOminous]

Bob tried. He got Chris to agree with him that the hoard is a problem and they confronted Barb over it, but she bitched and threatened to kill herself if they trashed her stuff.

They should have just beat the shit out of her and done it anyway.