Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

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Nacho Man Randy Salsa said:
But not from you guys. He may not have an online presence, but I totally expect you or any senior trolls to keep tabs on him and report to us directly. Your the pickle puppet master Marvin, you have some plan post Barb as to where we go from here.
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I don't talk to Chris. People tell me things about him. Different people over the years. I don't currently have anyone who talks to Chris nowadays.

Our best connection to Chris nowadays is either that girl who met him at bronycon, or Watermelon.

When Barb dies, if people are expecting me to do something about Chris, they're mistaken. As far as I can tell, everything goes dark when that happens.
 
I don't think anyone expects you to go dumpster diving on Chris' yard the moment Barb dies, but you'd still pass on to us whatever bits and pieces you heard around town right?

It's not like after Barb passes Chris is going to lock himself in and never come out, right? ...right?
 
Geoffrey Chaucer said:
Another thing I'd like to point out -- personal soapbox here -- is that Zillow's data is often utter shit. They run algorithms that just trawl realtor listing services and things like that and are often very inaccurate on their data due to the sloppy, quantity-over-quality way they gather them. GIGO.
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Doesn't any kind of fire seriously reduce the value of a property? Even after all the insurance money dumped into it, isn't a buyer going to see that and get cold feet?

Then there's also the hoard. Just getting rid of all that worthless Barbage would cost thousands of dollars.

Also there's that fat semi-feral dog shitting and pissing everywhere. If he has a favorite spot for that, it soaks deep into the floorboards and can't be gotten rid of.
 
Ron_Swanson said:
I don't think anyone expects you to go dumpster diving on Chris' yard the moment Barb dies, but you'd still pass on to us whatever bits and pieces you heard around town right?

It's not like after Barb passes Chris is going to lock himself in and never come out, right? ...right?
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I guess. I can't imagine there'll be much to hear though.

Like things will either blow up, and Chris will become homeless and go dark quickly. OR Rocky or someone will swoop in and things will be fine. If it's the former, I don't think I'll have much more info than anyone else, if any.
Nacho Man Randy Salsa said:
Homeless Chris isn't going to be able to just blend into the streets of Cwc-ville, you can't miss him. If hes homeless, but still has access to tard bucks he'll pay his phone bill and just leech off the McDonalds wifi
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Why would he go online if he's homeless? Once in awhile, sure, but homelessness is going to be traumatic as fuck and he's going to have much more pressing concerns than fucking around on twitter.
 
Marvin said:
I guess. I can't imagine there'll be much to hear though.

Like things will either blow up, and Chris will become homeless and go dark quickly. OR Rocky or someone will swoop in and things will be fine. If it's the former, I don't think I'll have much more info than anyone else, if any.

Why would he go online if he's homeless? Once in awhile, sure, but homelessness is going to be traumatic as fuck and he's going to have much more pressing concerns than fucking around on twitter.
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Phil does it all the time.
 
AnOminous said:
Doesn't any kind of fire seriously reduce the value of a property? Even after all the insurance money dumped into it, isn't a buyer going to see that and get cold feet?
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Oh yeah. The next time it sells it will not be for anywhere near FMV. I imagine it's not a total tear down, so someone will likely buy it at an investor friendly price, half ass a reno and rent it out. If, that is, anyone is doing that in Ruckersville.

Also I imagine the ghosts of Bob and Patti would spook buyers even further.
 
Marvin said:
I guess. I can't imagine there'll be much to hear though.

Like things will either blow up, and Chris will become homeless and go dark quickly. OR Rocky or someone will swoop in and things will be fine. If it's the former, I don't think I'll have much more info than anyone else, if any.
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I don't think he'd go homeless for long. I think he could end up in some transitional situation before eventually ending up in some kind of Section 8 housing, possibly after a lengthy wait.

If he ends up homeless it will light a fire under his ass. Even as lazy as he is, he doesn't have it in him to be homeless even in the Phil/ADF kind of half-assed way. I could see him ending up semi-homeless for a period, though, especially if he's just too much of an asshole after living with Barb to get along with anyone otherwise inclined to help him out.

Chris has one thing a landlord likes a lot, though. A permanent income. He's a good bet as being someone who would pay rent.

If Chris was smart, what he'd do is sell off anything in the house actually worth money, then rent it to some young family, possibly knocking off some of the rent in return for them cleaning up the Barbage and maintaining the place.

With that and his tard bucks, he could rent a place fit for his living needs and still be better off than he is now.

He probably wouldn't leave the house willingly, though, because laziness and :autism:

He could also probably reduce a lot of the bills by only heating the parts of the house he was in, and actually clearing out the kitchen and learning some dumb bachelor food. But again, :autism: and it would mean he'd willingly change something.
 
If Chris is very lucky there might be enough out of the estate to bury Barb and make a small dent in his debt, or knowing him a trip to Toys R Us for some retail therapy.
 
Why are some of you assuming that Barb is going to die any time soon? She'll probably make it to 110.
 
Have y'all watched dead alive? She's gonna try and consume Chris as a horrific monster. Also he's gonna live on the streets.
 
When barbs time comes Chris will be arrested for elder abuse, social security fraud, and not reporting a dead body. The house will be condemned when a paramedic falls through the floor into the basement and is critically injured when going in for the welfare check after the call from the neighbor saying they think they smell a body among the usual festering hoard smell. Chris won't spend long in jail before being hauled off to an institution where he creeps on all the female nurses and becomes violent toward the male ones to the point where he is put in solitary confinement most days for harassing not only the nurses but also the female patients. Eventually he has sex with one of the crazier ones who had not been taking the proper birth control producing the most disturbed child to ever exist a male child which Chris decides is a female trapped in a male body and names it crystal.
 
My new prediction regarding Snorblob’s death now that Chris has a girlfriend is Jessica moves in 14 BC and over a period of a few year Chris fattens her up to Barbara proportions to take the place of his new fuckmommy.
 
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