📚 Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Jesus, what is this thread coming to?

Heterosexuality and fatphobia with a side of hygiene, aka the least trans thing ever.

 

[Mellow Malevolent]

I remember when y’all were DEMANDING the normalization of pronouns galore on name tags, email signatures, social media profiles, introductions, etc. I remember being subjected to that horseshit myself. Trannies asked, nay, clamored for it with kicks/screams/tears, out of some twisted desire for iNcLUsiON (read: browbeat normies into submission for sexual gratification). Now, they’re finally picking up on how othering and abnormal it is, because no normal individuals willingly engage in such pronountarded behavior amongst themselves in their daily lives (outside of pozloaded workspaces where it’s mandated).

In essence, they’re catching on that it’s a special measure specifically enacted to accommodate only them and their illness, and the implicit reminder that it carries (that they’re not normal) is starting to get under their skin. What’s funny is that normies started accommodating the pronoun bullshit to avoid troon meltdowns, and it’s going to take a lot longer for it to be retired altogether (though said retirement will be due to the practice/affirmation of troons falling out of vogue, rather than troon demands). All the while, troons will seethe.

Does it ever feel to anyone like the act of policing is what gets them off? We think of dopamine as a reward neurotransmitter but its much more a motivation neurotransmitter. It controls incentive salience, compels actions and attention. It's already pretty obvious that some of the "relief" trans people feel as they begin these journeys is that the journey itself cuts through their apathy and gives them energy, it literally gives them a focus to pursue in the way hunger gives an animal a focus to pursue. It is a literal circuit in the brain that is measurable. But it also means that wanting something, doing the actions to get it, can feel more rewarding than actually achieving it. Wanting something and liking the thing once you have it are two interrelated but distinct functions of the brain.

And for stuff like this, I feel like I'm just watching them look for reasons to be dissatisfied with others. In the same way as their own physical transition is quest who's completion will disappoint them, the need to foster "Inclusion" seems like a procedural script looking for ways they can be indignant about the way normies misunderstand them. It gives them fodder to go on reddit and bitch yet again about how even the people on their side are still ignorant and don't understand about the nuances of their unique special existence. It feels like they have trained themselves like a maladaptive lab rat to looks for cues for outrage, because they crave that feeling of direction and motivation.

 

[Pig Cups]

"I might attempt suicide again at my college because I don't want to deal with my parents"

Key word here: might

This is all poor-me beggaring for attention. If his First World ass seriously wanted to die, he’d be using more definitive language, or would finish the deed one day out of the blue. He wouldn’t be publicly, dramatically, and attention-whoredly weighing its feasibility as an option on Reddit.

If he even gets that far, he’ll be found sobbing without tears in a bathtub, with marks on his wrists resembling scratches- the cuts not even being deep enough to draw blood. He mentions trying to OD at one point. I’d bet that his idea of doing that is taking three Motrin instead of two. Or a full bottle of Flintstones vitamins.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

It's about why pooners specifically tend to be so much shorter than the women I've known.

A lot of people here and on Ovarit/Vexxed have noticed but as far as I'm aware no one has a good explanation. Some people have suggested that it has something to do with short women feeling even more vulnerable than other women, because they are the physically weakest of all adults. And some dudes love to perve on and harass tiny women in particular. I suppose it's possible but I think it's more likely to be a combination then, like being very petite while also having autism, low self-esteem, or cluster B. I know too many feisty womanlets of various ages for that to be the only cause.

 

[Waffle Iron]

But I was under the impression that support for the troon enterprise was being driven by the rich assholes and not the Democrats' former working class constituency.

I think trannies fail to appreciate just how far the pendulum swung to their side. That politicians used them as a major spear point, that they had insurance pay out troonery, that the army and public jobs financed their surgeries. It was an exceptional period of time. They think they're near the bottom, and soon things will "normalize" back to being supportive to them.

Reading the comments, they don't seem to understand the political situation either.
Tranny thoughts:
>Democrats are going to throw trannies under the bus to try and win back republican voters. But they won't come back and they're throwing away the tranny vote
Reality:
>Factoring tranny rights into any decision, especially something as impactful as government shutdown, is suicide. When you need to make up the balance, and one side is trannies, and the other side is anything else. You go for the other side, trannies aren't worth the trouble.
Sadly, on this side of the pond trannies haven't taken as much of a socio-political pounding. But you can notice the money is drying up. Getting a grant is tough. Without big money constantly propping them up, the best they can do is hold and and pray they won't lose rights.

TT:

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

A lot of people here and on Ovarit/Vexxed have noticed but as far as I'm aware no one has a good explanation. Some people have suggested that it has something to do with short women feeling even more vulnerable than other women, because they are the physically weakest of all adults. And some dudes love to perve on and harass tiny women in particular. I suppose it's possible but I think it's more likely to be a combination then, like being very petite while also having autism, low self-esteem, or cluster B. I know too many feisty womanlets of various ages for that to be the only cause.

Maybe they're just dysgenic horrors and pooning out is an outlet for the weird-ass, should-have-been-exposed-on-a-hillside energy that would have had them entering a convent, terrorising school children as *that* teacher or obsessively crocheting baby dolls in days of yore?

 

[Stabby_Pencil]

Maybe they're just dysgenic horrors and pooning out is an outlet for the weird-ass, should-have-been-exposed-on-a-hillside energy that would have had them entering a convent, terrorising school children as *that* teacher or obsessively crocheting baby dolls in days of yore?

It's the puberty blockers effects. There's an entire book on this before the troon menace started to use the drugs. It was written in a time where they wanted to keep girls short and make boys tall.

 

[Otterly]

It's about why pooners specifically tend to be so much shorter than the women I've known. Why the hons tend to be massive, as well.

We’ve pondered this on the SRS thread for a while. Why are rhe pooners so teeny tiny? Why are the troons hulks?
One datapoint that may be relevant is that growth is different in Autists of each sex; boys tend to be larger than average and girls smaller.
Personally i think it’s multiple things, and I do think there’s something about being really short that makes women feel unattractive, and desire to be taken more seriously. I am very short, it’s not attractive, and I do ‘get’ that need to be taken more seriously.
But I think ‘autism’ may be the main reason.

 

[Dr Bathroom]

Welcome relief for dysphoria.
With troons it's always an L, even when they say they feel good.

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Wouldn’t true body positivity be accepting your body the way it is? I think one of the most harmful ideas spread by trannies is that any negative feeling towards yourself is gender dysphoria, especially towards your own body. They hold this belief that the norm is to be attracted to your own body (or at the very least love everything about it). In reality, most people have a neutral to negative view of their own body. The beauty industry wouldn’t exist if the average person was jerking off to their own reflection in a mirror every night. I actually read a post from a tranny that claimed it was normal for women to get horny when dressing up (with multiple commenters agreeing ). Truly porn-brained individuals.

Also, I always find it funny how much of a tranny’s identity contradicts their own talking points. They say society cannot decide how they choose to identity, but then do “womanly” things that only exist due to societal norms. For example: shaving. Women naturally have body hair, especially waist down. However the average tranny wouldn’t know that because women in porn are usually waxed from the neck down.

 

[nonespecified]

d why th

Good heavens, to think a pooner would post such tranphobic things.

You can tell she's a woman because any man would know his odds for going bald. You check your uncles on your mothers mother's side to figure out your chances. But, to console this little dood I'm willing to give advice as if he was a real man. Some real man to man (TM) pep talk: Stop whining like a bitch and suck it up.

I don't buy this female inherited baldness thing. I'm bald, brother is going bald, father is bald, son is going bald in the exact same pattern at the exact same age. Every male on my mom's side kept a full head of hair to their deathbeds.

 

[RonRiot]

My schizo theory has always been that Gigi's original target was August Getty, but settled for the crazy pooner heiress. They were supposedly trying for kids, but I guess that went south.

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Nats Getty has completed her transition to Temu Corey Feldman, I see.

Wouldn’t true body positivity be accepting your body the way it is?

Being your Authentic Self (TM) involves hundreds of thousands of dollars of plastic surgery if you’re a troon, so nah.

 

[YouTube Autist]

Self-hating gay boy

This is such a sad way of putting it.

"My name is moth."

"I'm not like the other girls! I'm not! I'm not!"

 

[Positron]

"My chosen name is Thomas."
At last a pooner with a normal name! Thank God!

 

[pooterino]

This is a breaking story - as in, within the last 24 hours - so we will see how things continue to unfold. One thing's for sure: if you want tranny tears, look up itch.io (or itchio) on Bluesky and watch the milk fucking flow. You'd think they were getting hung one by one at the gallows, for God's sake.

"Listen, if we ban porn of women getting fucked by German Shepherds today, that means tomorrow they can totally ban two consenting homosexual males fucking each other! Muh slippery slope!" (♪white girls fuuuckkk doggggggs♪)

-some troon on how banning games about grooming children means the ACTUAL LGTBQIA+ lolocaust this time, for reals guise

C) First up is denial, delusion, and whining. Plus, a little bit of complete non-understanding of biology because duh.

"pre-puberty female and male bodies are basically the same" says the troon.

Yeah, I mean if you ignore the fact that those two types of persons differ down to a chromosomal level within every single cell of each body, yeah, sure. Totally the same!

 

[healing rain]

Another child saved from mutilation, thanks to the measures put in place by the Trump administration. I won't pretend as if I like the guy much, but every child spared from an unnecessary trip underneath the surgeon's scalpel is win in my book!
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after a year and a half of consultations, waiting, and dealing with insurance i had ffs scheduled in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS on august 5th. just to get the message below. i dont even know what to do im crying so much im so upset. i want to bang my stupid face into a wall until its all broken. after getting denied by insurance three times before it was covered on an external appeal, i got to schedule ffs for like six months in the future because my surgeon was very booked. but insurance only covers it for a very short time frame of your surgery so even if i was able to reschedule for after my nineteenth birthday in four months, i dont even know if i could get it. i hate trump so much fmstl. literally the worst possible timing just to fuck me over as much as possible. my hospital already said they might stop prescribing me hrt but i can just diy so i wasnt worried about that but this sucks so so so much kms kms kms iwnbaw

Here's the guy's face btw:



You ever look at someone and just instantly know that they have autism?

EDIT: Here's a pic of him in his full lace outfit, which he labelled his "ultimate AGP pride outfit." Look at that massive hand:



He is also borderline impotent and needs medical assistance to have sex with his "gf" (undoubtedly another troon). Imagine needing viagra at 19. Jesus Christ dude.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

As much as the pussy talk is fascinating, I think we are all forgetting something. This is TIFs, we're talking about. Pooners are notorious for being the stankiest of women, due to their various mental illnesses, social ineptitude, dogshit hygiene habits, and willingness to imitate the grossest of male stereotypes. These chicks already smelled like sweaty skunk ass on an australian afternoon pre-T and even worse after. No self-respecting person with their wits about them is going down on that. "Gay" men (read: bisexuals and straight) have two choices: A) histronic, BPD-addled, smelly pooner (less than ~1% of population) vs. B) normal, relatively well-adjusted, clean woman (over 50% of population). One leads to having to manage a would-be asylum patient with strange kinks who will have a BPD meltdown at being "misgendered" when you're trying to get down and dirty. The other is a regular, possibly fun hookup. One is so mentally fragile that if you don't 100% praise them for doing the bare minimum (washing at most thrice a week), it's a 6 paragraph essay on why your abusive on reddit. The other already does the bathing regularly thing by habit and has bigger things to worry about than constantly skinwalking the opposite sex. Who is this hypothetical "gay" guy going to pick? That's less a question and more a denial on the Tifs part. Not to mention the fact that so many of these chicks are whiny, self-centered, and have mile-long expectations for guys to even date them and if you do, get ready for the "chaser" allegations.

Anyways, thread tax.
A) Tranny bitches and moans about no longer being able to cheat women and girls out of their hardearned trophies and prestige on a massive scale with little effort.
B) "Boymoder" complains about pronouns at work even though he isn't even skinwalking yet.

Edit: sorry, no summary or text. On mobile, first post--need to lurk more.
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Never underestimate a man desperate for pussy. I mean, 40 years in the desert desperate for pussy. Normal women take work and have standards, TIFs will put out at the drop of the first "doooood".

We’ve pondered this on the SRS thread for a while. Why are rhe pooners so teeny tiny? Why are the troons hulks?
One datapoint that may be relevant is that growth is different in Autists of each sex; boys tend to be larger than average and girls smaller.
Personally i think it’s multiple things, and I do think there’s something about being really short that makes women feel unattractive, and desire to be taken more seriously. I am very short, it’s not attractive, and I do ‘get’ that need to be taken more seriously.
But I think ‘autism’ may be the main reason.

I like to think it's because the universe has a great sense of humor.

 

[HalTurner]

E) Self-hating gay boy mad that other self-hating gay boys are flirting with him instead of the "hot, straight" MAN of his dreams. Funny how they're allowed to bitch and whine about not getting respect over their sexual preferences, but everyone else isn't. I mean, they're all men so it's gay no matter what, but with the added chagrin of lying to oneself until the inevitable "-ACK!"

This is what makes me laugh. That troons post is actually right. Ive seen this for a long time now. Trannys really really do not like the ones who date men. That seriously pisses off many of them. In my mind I feel its because they feel theyre losing out on someone they can fuck or talk sex with. The straight trannies (I Know its gay because theyre men dating men but you get me) once were the majority of all troons. So its quite comical for those of us older to have seen how once AGP trannys became just as "valid" as the dysphoric ones, they all swarmed and took over.

It honestly kind of pisses me off that these AGP faggots are the type who will get upset at any normal male who talks about hot girls online yet they think since theyre self labeled lesbians theyre different when they do it. In reality theyre the same incels they talk shit about.

 

[healing rain]

Also, minor thread tax:

OP has been posted before. The real milk is always in the comments.
To absolutely no one's surprise, the OP is a bdsm whore. He harbors both familial and sexual feelings towards his friend.

He is also a certified fatass.


More fetishistic claims that HRT caused his body to shrink.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm on NextDoor to do three things: find lost pets, rubberneck at hyperlocal gossip, and report gendies who join with fake names. Don't even have to go looking for them; the first thing a person of gender posts is something educational about their completely unique journey.

Glad to see my work is being appreciated.

 

[Magic Pickle]

A dysphoric li'l dood finds herself in an r/deadbedroom situation because her raging insecurities prevent her from having sex with her girlfriend - or so she says. Personally, I feel she's not being very honest with herself, because she states that "the thought of vaginas and vulvas makes me want to puke" and that when she masturbates, she says: "I have to stare intensely at penises." The prison gay effect that troons 'n' poons develop is never not peak comedy!
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Only 26 but need hope/perspective from the ”elders”​

TW: mentions of s*x and genitals. No details tho.
1 year on T. Had mastectomy, waiting for phallo.
Please share your similar experiences and how you’ve overcome them through your transition. Would especially appreciate hearing from other binary straight guys in long term relationships. Lol take ”elders” with a grain of salt.
In a monogamous relationship since 3 years with my girlfriend. Used to be in many ways an awful relationship, now beautiful and amazing. Well everything besides the sex aspect…
The more understanding she (and I myself) became of my dysphoria, the more safe I started feeling not forcing myself to have sex out of guilt and shame. So we basically stopped having sex. Compared to how things were before, this feels extremely liberating. It’s much easier repressing my dysphoria when I avoid sex altogether. And I truly feel like I HAVE TO repress it in order to survive and get through day to day life. That is until she reminds me of how sad, lonely and undesirable she feels all the time. That’s when the guilt and shame drags me down again like a huge fucking tsunami. It took me a while to understand that she tells me these things simply to communicate her feelings to me and not to guilt trip. We’re both equally determined to stay in the relationship considering that 9/10 things are great.
I just want to be normal. I just want to enjoy having regular sex with the love of my life. I want to feel manly. I want my girlfriend to feel my attraction and desire. I just wanna be a boring annoying nasty guy who loves piv sex. Especially since my gf has made it very clear that she’d love it as well.
Side note: doesn’t help that the thought of vaginas and vulvas make me want to puke (u know probably cause I still have one and definitely don’t want it) and that when I jerk of once a week (t still makes me somewhat horny) I have to stare intensely at penises to momentarily convince my brain that that’s what I have. Makes me feel ashamed and sad post nut cause I’m 90% sure I’m no homo lol.
My only hope is that phallo will ”save us” but we both get scared thinking of how that’s not a guarantee.
️I’ve probably forgotten important details so please don’t try to read between the lines and make assumptions. Ask if you have any questions or if anything’s unclear. And as I said, I’m mainly interested in hearing other guys’ success stories, but if you do have incredible advice that’s fine and welcome if you’re respectful about it and if it’s relevant.

A tranny turns to Reddit to speak ill of his own blood, spitefully declaring that his sister is evil. And the crime worthy of sentencing this witch to the pyre? She said it's embarrassing that he's jealous of her... when he explicitly stated that she, personally, was his "transition goals." Good on the little dovey for having a man in her life to support her during the misery of having a skin-walking sibling; I hope when their parents die, she gets everything in the will.
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My sister is evil.​

My cis sister is the reason I’m drowning in dysphoria. As soon as I get on her nerves I’m no longer a woman. Just last night we had an argument because I told her that her boyfriend was transphobic and manipulating her into becoming just like him (which is true). She told me “it’s embarrassing how jealous you are of your younger sister as a man, it’s not my fault you can’t find a man who wants you” (She’s 19 I’m 23)
That was the first time she downright called me a man. I told her that I couldn’t even recognise her anymore and she told me she’s felt the same ever since I ran on the delusion that I could ever be a woman like her. My mom is trying to fix everything between us but I don’t even know if I can ever see her the same.I’m so hurt. When I began transitioning 2yrs ago I told her she was my transition goals because of how beautiful and feminine she is without even trying. She used that against me.We were extremely close back when I was just her ‘brother’ my mom says she’s just hurt and is trying to push me away but that doesn’t make sense to me.

A deplorable troon working in healthcare thinks the answer to a nursing and CNA shortage is clearly to snitch on them when they rightfully identify your birth sex and play no games about the reality of it, thus robbing patients of much needed additional support due to a crossdresser's fragile ego. I do not understand why you'd work in healthcare if you have pronouns, because healthcare is a bit synonymous with "having your shit kicked in by old men" and "getting your organs pummeled by autistic children during routine specimen collection." I mean, really, you'll take old men flashing you inappropriately or junkies threatening to stab you over being called a guy? Come on.
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The wrong person at work found out I’m trans​

And she’s now purposefully misgendering me and idk what to do. I live in Colorado, one of the few states that doesn’t actively hate us and in fact we actually have some meaningful protections, so something would be able to be done about it. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to say something.
She doesn’t work for the facility, she’s a home care aide for one of the residents and he happens to be on my list today. I’ve always gotten she from her before, idk if she just found out from talking to someone or what but it’s making me wonder who else I really don’t know that I thought I did, because everyone is super nice to my face.
I pass well and literally NEVER get misgendered in real life, even when I’m not wearing particularly feminine clothing. Plus I wear a mask at work. I’ve no idea how she found out or who she found out from, but I’m still relatively new to this job, in fact it’s my first job in Colorado since moving here in April from Texas. Basically I’m just trying to not make waves.
I don’t want to turn into being known as “the office snitch” or whatever else, and it seems apparent to me that someone who I confided in in confidence let the cat out of the bag to her. I was asking her if I could take him to change him, and he wanted me to come back in 15 minutes. She told me that was fine, then told him “he’s gonna come back in 15 minutes so we’ll make sure you’re ready for him when he gets back, because he’s coming in 15 minutes”. It was said in a regular tone of voice as if it wasn’t a thing she was maliciously doing, but it definitely was.
It’s literally killed my whole day, and idk if it’s worth it to report or not. Something will definitely happen with it but that’s also what I’m afraid of. Part of me feels like I should just “suck it up and be a big girl” but rampant malicious misgendering is literally one of the main reasons I left Texas in the first place. Even supervisors and managers were doing it. I seem to have a good rapport with my unit manager, it’s mostly other CNAs that I’m worried about. I’ve worked here for 2 months and there’s literally never been an issue until this today and all the residents love me.
EDIT: I’ve just spoken with my nurse about it and she said absolutely report it. Apparently they’ve had issues with this specific girl before and are basically to the point where they’re just looking for a reason, and my unit manager has a direct line to her boss.

A wily little liar is terrified that her ruse is about to be exposed when someone from her past recognizes her at a youth group, leading to a new friend of hers asking directly if she's a pooner. Not sure what gender goblin needs to hear this, but by the time someone is asking if you're trans to your face, they know that you're trans. There is no point in hiding at that point, for the true choice isn't whether to confirm or deny but whether to show your true colors or perpetuate an obvious lie.
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Got recognized by someone I used to know while stealth.​

Iv been completely stealth since I started testosterone in 2023, I started going back to a new school this last school year on the other side of town (for reference I’m 17 and came out when I was 10, haven’t been back to school since 6th grade because of insane bullying).
Iv finally been able to live for once, being stealth gave me my life back. Before T I was an outsider everywhere I went, my dad even had to pull me out of boy scouts as a kid because the adults were being transphobic behind my back. Iv done sports, I did a play, I’v done things this year I thought I’d truly never get the chance to have in my life. Including finally having a close friendship with another guy, Iv only ever been able to make friends with girls before him and I’ll call him Will for this.
Me and Will have gotten closer recently, and Iv been wanting to explore my faith again so I decided to go to youth group with him since he invited me. Turns out he goes to the same church I had gone too as a little kid, and someone ended up recognizing me last night apparently (I know who since I recognized them too) because Will texted me this morning asking if I was trans which I denied and he believed but wouldn’t tell me who said it to him because he didn’t wanna start drama.
All these feelings rushed back, feeling like I didn’t belong and like I’m something different. It’s been awhile since iv felt like this and I hate it, and I hate that now he might feel differently about me now that the idea might be stuck in the back of his head. Im scared I’ll do something weird or say something and won’t be able to brush it off now like I could’ve if that hadn’t been planted in his head. I’m scared about him finding out and thinking I’m weird or some abomination or something since he’s very religious (he’s never actually said anything about the LGBT community though and I don’t know how he’d feel) . I’m scared to explore my faith more, ideas coming back that no where I go I’ll be truly welcomed which is why I hadn’t gone in years and stopped believing for a while since I felt so disconnected from it.
I just wish I could live how I want without feeling othered all the time, it follows me no matter how hard I try to live my life.

A bar-hoppin' li'l dood is mad that her friend keeps warning her to gussy up because apparently something about the queer club scene involves being charged extra for being masculine or effeminate? I cannot imagine trying to be a free-spirited youth in this day and age because the idea of having to pay extra for such nonsense would not bode well for the ears of whatever bouncer would stand before me.
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Being degendered by my friends who refuse to acknowledge my transness​

I’m so fucking pissed off right now. Up until tonight, I’ve just been mildly annoyed and brushed it off. I do drag for fun, and I like to cross dress when I go out to straight bars sometimes (free drinks, don’t pay a cover, and it just feels like playing a fun little game). Gay bars I just dress how I always do; I pass, and I dress how any other guy my age does.
I have a friend who works at a couple clubs and she gets us in when we come. Last week we were going to a new place and I asked her if there was a cover (obv so I knew whether to bring cash or not). She said no cover but come fem. Every time we’ve gone out she tells me to dress fem because she “doesn’t know the door policy for mascs.” Or she sometimes says there’s a $25-50 cover for “mascs.” But every time, there have been cis men in our group. They are never turned away, and they are never charged a cover. I’ve gone out to these places dressed how I normally do once and never had a problem. Tonight we went out to a place I’ve been before I wore a button up and a tie with a leather jacket and baggy camo pants with some chains. It fits the vibe of the place perfectly. She told me I would have to wait in the regular line because she doesn’t have a say on how many “mascs” can come in. I’m so fucking sick and tired of being degendered and called a masc. I’m not a fucking masc. I am a TRANSGENDER MAN. It’s not that fucking hard to acknowledge. And I’m the only one she ever says this shit to. She never says it to the cis guys who come with us. They’re never told to “dress fem.” Fem and masc are not synonymous with women and men and I’m tired of my friends using them in place of the other when they really mean man and woman.
It’s not that you don’t know if “mascs” have to pay a cover it’s that you don’t know if MEN have to pay a cover. Because what? Masc lesbians have to pay a cover and fem gay men don’t? I know that’s not what you mean. Say it as it is and stop dismissing my transness or renaming it because it makes you uncomfortable.
Your problem with men is not my fucking fault I’m tired of not being acknowledged as the way I identify. It’s not up to you to change my label

Fembert Fembert: Another creepy romanticization of a youth unlived, but this time it's a pooner! The description of experiencing "boyish masculinity" actually made my face scrunch to read! Hey OP, are you a fan of Tampa by Alissa Nutting, by any chance?
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There's no boyhood​

I hate that I'm trans so much it's driving me insane. Everything I missed out on, right in front of me whenever I go out. Big groups of teenaged boys being menaces and experiencing late boyhood. Experiencing boyish masculinity in such an uninhibited and free manner, instead of feeling like they have to grow up quickly into men as to endure being constantly humiliated by their mere existence. They get to be boys. I lost it all at 14 when puberty started and I moved away from my boys, from the boys who taught me to be one of them, the boys who offered me a chance at boyhood as they entered it with me. There was no space elsewhere. I don't get to be a boy anymore. I'm a man in a torturous state of biological mockery.

A FTM is ravaged by a deep carnal desire to penetrate a woman despite the fact that she's not really, well, wired to do such a thing. Troons 'n' poons are prone to such a bizarre sort of cognitive mis-wiring (which I believe to be entirely induced by porn and sexism) - you shouldn't be yearning for a biological experience you are literally not equipped to do. If a man says he yearns to give birth, all that makes me suspect is checking his hard drives. Funny how it's just as weird when women do it, honestly.
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Bottom growth isn’t enough, and the dysphoria is tearing me up​

I’ve had the urge to penetrate a partner — especially a woman — ever since before I even started testosterone. It’s not just a sexual urge. It feels instinctive. Masculine. Deeply tied to how I see myself and how I want to connect.
But the truth is… my bottom growth isn’t enough to let me do that naturally. Not the way I want to. And it’s driving me crazy.
I don’t want to use toys or straps or workarounds. I just want to be able to be with someone in my body, as I am. To feel that connection in the way that feels right to me. But instead, I’m stuck in this body that keeps hitting limits I didn’t ask for.
The grief that comes with this — it’s hard to even put into words. Some days I feel angry. Other days I just feel hollow.
I know I’m not the only one. If you’ve felt this — if this kind of bottom dysphoria has ever driven you up the wall — how do you cope? Does it get easier?
I’m not ashamed of wanting this. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt and crazy real crazy so much over it. Driving me up a wall.