The Dumbest Articles on Cracked

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Ruin said:
Rumor has it he pulled a Moot, that is his girlfriend's a massive sjw and he loses access to the pussy pass unless he sucks Tumblr's cock.
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Honestly, if I were in his situation, and was placed between the integrity of the site and sex with a SJW. I'd have dumped her ass in a heartbeat and find a new woman.

Because the way the site's going, it's starting to become Tumblr's bottom bitch.
 
*Asterisk* said:
This article's from a while ago, but it's so insufferably whiny-white-bitch smug even if this faggot never wrote anything else I'd pimp out his girlfriend to project niggers on principle for being such a cuck:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ignorant-jokes-from-last-comedians-youd-expect/

I've gotta say, watching SJW's complaints on what's no longer an acceptable comedic target expanding to "poor white folk" is just hilarious. I'm just waiting for some exceptional individual redneck to take this line of thought to it's logical conclusion and decide they actually can't be racist either because they don't have the necessary power. The shitstorm that identity politics fight would set off would be outright beautiful, and as long as both sides lose -- everyone wins!

And of course, Jason Iannone, the faggot who wrote this, also has his own humor blog which is every bit as on-the-cunt-rag as you'd expect:

http://jasoniannone.com/
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remember, vaginas are hideous and exist only for childbirth
anybody who says otherwise HATES WOMEN
 
New article posted today on Cracked that is currently titled "6 Things You Learn Writing Blockbuster Videogames". Actually not too bad of an article, pretty interesting.

What kills it is that it was originally posted as "No Trans Characters:6 Realities Of Writinf Video Games", despite the fact that the article doesn't mention Trans characters at all. Nothing whatsoever.
image.jpeg

That's some bullshit.
 
sassyma seed said:
New article posted today on Cracked that is currently titled "6 Things You Learn Writing Blockbuster Videogames". Actually not too bad of an article, pretty interesting.

What kills it is that it was originally posted as "No tranny Characters:6 Realities Of Writinf Video Games", despite the fact that the article doesn't mention tranny characters at all. Nothing whatsoever.
View attachment 81476
That's some bullshit.
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http://archive.is/97wqM
 
sassyma seed said:
New article posted today on Cracked that is currently titled "6 Things You Learn Writing Blockbuster Videogames". Actually not too bad of an article, pretty interesting.

What kills it is that it was originally posted as "No tranny Characters:6 Realities Of Writinf Video Games", despite the fact that the article doesn't mention tranny characters at all. Nothing whatsoever.
View attachment 81476
That's some bullshit.
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Perhaps God granted them a nano-second of self awareness and they realized carping about a medium which spends billions of dollars making worlds where you can either pick which gender you want to play, or your gender doesn't matter at all, -- a practice that's been a continuous force since Joe Liberman and Jack Thompson's biggest concern in life was black guys singing about sex -- is absurd on face.

Or perhaps they're all just retarded and made a drafting error. Either way, Divine Intervention's the only force in the Universe that can pull the collected heads of the Crack Editorial Board out of their asses.
 
friedshrimp said:
Dunno if it counts, but WhatCulture is also similar to Cracked in many aspects- they're both websites obsessed with sperging over trivial geek culture stuff and they're both SJWs.

http://whatculture.com/film-tv
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I'll read some things on there at times, but yeah, you're right. The "gaming editors" that write the most are a rabid xbone fanboy, and a "stay-at-home dad", both of whom are proud self-described male feminists.

Any game related article on there is guaranteed to contain insults aimed at whites, males, white males, gamers, (the PS4 if it's the one guy) and usually an attempt to work gamergate and soggy knees in there somehow too.

I'll never understand how people like that, who hate video games and the people who play them keep getting jobs writing about them. Especially when they just insult the reader constantly.
 
TheGreatCitracett said:
I'll never understand how people like that, who hate video games and the people who play them keep getting jobs writing about them. Especially when they just insult the reader constantly.
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these are the guys who say shit like
"I'm not like other men, i care about women. I'm a nice guy."
 
The article's not too bad by Cracked's low standards. It's not even particularly bad by McKinney standards. Certainly not when you consider he wrote an article comparing GamerGaters to cannibals. But I'm going to abuse the shit out of him anyway because I'm feeling feverish, and abusing retards is a great way to relieve tension.

Luke 'Zoë-Quinn-Did-Nothing-Wrong' McKinney said:
There's nothing wrong with sexiness. There's everything wrong with sexism. Those are different things! And a huge part of sexism is pretending that the one-sided, one-flavor, cis straight guy idea of sexiness is some kind of neutral normal.
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Motherfucker, why the fuck is this an issue?

'Normal' is just a term based on averages from a sample. It possesses no inherient moral virtue, good or bad. But special little faggots like yourself are so terrified of being part of something small that you take every statistical model that doesn't show your spank-monkey ass as the majority as an attack on your soul.

Normal's got nothing to do with nothing. It just is.

Luke 'Jesus-I-Thought-Only-J.F.-Sargent-Was-This-Retarded' McKinney said:
"Totally blatantly about staring at simulated tits" is absolutely fine if you're honest about it. In fact, that's the entire design document for Dead Or Alive Extreme 3. It's only a pity there isn't an equivalent game about burly lumberjacks and Greek statues of ballet dancers struggling on an island based on lumberjacking and working in a body oil factory. Yet. But there will be, and it will make money.
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No it won't, you stupid faggot.

Games that pander to straight-dude horniness are popular because dude-libido outmatches chick-libido. Chicks wanna fuck Clark Gable. But a homeless dude without access to hot, running water who just happens to look like Clark Gable? He's the one paying them for a blowjob, motherfucker.

As for dudes who like to fuck dudes? They aren't pandered to deliberately by game companies at the same level not just because they're a smaller demographic who are also more likely to stay under the radar, but because the people they wanna fuck are just as horny as they are because they're all fucking dudes.

And, this is really important so pay some fucking attention, the gay body-oil game you wish existed was already put on the market decades ago.

You wanna do something worth respecting? Quit your bitching and buy as many copies of Cho Aniki as you can if you even slightly care about this shit.
 
Another Fellow said:
Where to even begin with this one...

What do you do when your comedy article isn't funny or even accurate?

EDIT: It's a little less painful when you see the comments laying in to the author, but still.
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I usually find the comments section to be decent and pretty funny. I mean, I remember the Zoe Quinn article (internet's most hated person. Sure.). Both the pro- and anti- GG assholes were getting downvotes, and pro- and anti- GG reasonable people were getting upvotes. It's some of the writers who don't seem to get that their target audience is not composed wholly of tumblrinas.
 
Another Fellow said:
Where to even begin with this one...

What do you do when your comedy article isn't funny or even accurate?

EDIT: It's a little less painful when you see the comments laying in to the author, but still.
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The reason why Mickey and other cartoon characters wear gloves is due to better show their hands; since their bodies are all black/one singular color, it's done to distinguish their arms and hands when they're moving around. As for why Mickey has such a design- mice can be black, and usually their little fur around the face sometimes is a lighter color.

Oh well, do you expect white-guilters to even know history proper?

EDIT: If you're in Whatculture watch out for Tom Baker- every single one of his articles is the typical SJW clickbait crap that people love complaining about "Top 10 reasons why Marvel is evil and racist" etc etc

And as far as crazy websites go, I'm surprised Buzzfeed doesn't have a thread here yet.
 
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Pretty much any article written by Adam Tom Brown. The guy is an insufferably smug shit heel.
 
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