You keep wanting my attention. Are you some kind of faggot? You having dreams about choking on my cock little man?
This is how I feel about you, dude. What's your problem with me? I am just doing my thing. I'm like The Dude, like mickrusson said. I go with the flow. I'm floating & flitting in the water rather than swimming against the ocean. I'm just enjoying this wild trip. If I get my life together or if I don't, that's up to me and that's my problem, and my problem alone; don't worry about it!
8====D. - -
Rejoice Styxkins! The pirate's change in outfit is because I am doing laundry. When we first started going out, he did the bare minimum, which was showering two [or even 3] times a week and changing his clothes after one week. Ever since he was most recently arrested, he has stretched this to three weeks without a shower or even changing underwear or socks. It is so fucking disgusting. And this is like, from a hippie person who says, my bare minimum is to shower twice a week & change your clothes once a week!
I only started smoking cigarettes again when I got with Styx since he smokes so much and it masks any horrific odors by dulling my olfactory sense.
Before I leave for work every day, I ask him to dump the trash bin in our room. Then when I get back from work and start cleaning, sweeping, & emptying the bin, he says,"you don't have to do that, you can just ask me." It is text book retarded narcissist shit. He has gotten physical with me to prevent me from taking the bin out of the room. He yells, "you have to sort it out. You can't just dump it out!" I'm not retarded. I know that I have to go through the trash. That's the whole problem! When I finish drinking a can of soda, I put it directly in the recycling. He just throws everything in the bin, then I have to go through the work of dissecting it to put items in their proper place.
Styx doesn't understand what catfishing or gaslighting is. I can't believe that his brain has devolved into being a person that uses the term gaslighting incorrectly & as a defense mechanism. He will be gaslighting me when he tells me that I am gaslighting for fuck's sake!!!
This morning, I was woken up and I wanted to go use the bathroom and go right back to sleep. But once I opened my eyes, he said, "oh, you're awake;" he was already talking loudly to the cat. Then he started playing music even louder. I was upset because I had just wanted to go right back to sleep because it is my day off. Tarl acts like I'm the villain because I'm angry that I was woken up. He tells me that I'm gaslighting him by telling him that he woke me up. His argument is to point out that he did not physically wake me up. That is not the issue. That is what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is when somebody has a legitimate problem, like being woken up and not being able to go back to sleep. You gaslight and point the attention to something else saying, "oh I didn't wake you up," when that's not the main issue. Whether or not I woke up naturally to pee. I wanted to go right back to sleep. His favorite way to gaslight is by pointing out my gesticulation or my speech. If I slightly raise my voice above a low murmur, as he likes to talk much of the time, [because he's dying] he tells me that I'm bellowing like a buffalo. The gaslighting is pointing out that your partner is gesticulating, or speaking too loud for your liking. You're taking the attention away from the issue at hand and pointing it at something else which is inconsequential to the debate or argument. His mind is so weak I pity him.
Tarl never wants me to sleep because he's so afraid of being alone. His mind is so fucking weak. It's so disappointing. It feels really bad moving out because he's going to mentally collapse even more.
Now I need to write this caveat. I'm not complaining. We're not in a romantic relationship anymore. There's still sex, but I don't even want it from him. I am a mature adult and I don't care for casual sex. I can only enjoy sex and orgasm when I'm in a committed relationship. I only want to have a husband and possibly child at this point. I don't want to fuck around with this bullshit. When he told me he would never move out of his parents' house. I was already destroyed. Even if we had a perfect relationship, I still couldn't move forward with it without ever having privacy & my own living space, so I'm glad that there are plethora of other problems with this scummy pirate retard.
I wish that I could post here without people thinking that I'm complaining about this shit because I'm just laughing at it. I am not a BPD broad with Tarl as my favorite person. I am over that. I used to have feelings like that. My last asshat FP was named Michael Belkner and he mentally destroyed me. I picked myself up and I rewired my brain. I rebuilt myself to not be attached to another human being for my own happiness or validation. This is the most important lesson that everyone can learn in life. You need to create your own joy! You can't be dependent on other people. This cannot be repeated enough, especially for the borderline personality disorder, the cluster B mind! A BPD or cluster B person has no identity. They attach their identity & their very soul to other people to maliciously devour them, or simply to create an identity for themselves because they have no soul. They have no true persona. They're just a confused, weak, pathetic creature, so desperate for connection and validation that they knowingly or unknowingly suck the soul & life out of others.
Styx is a cluster B soul devourer. He is a plague. I am not infected!
