Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Front page was never funny..its updates like once a month now.

Movie reviews were pretty good. Especially the earlier lowtax ones like Troll 2.

Now its all gay shit like "Smash mouth eat the eggs" for example.
 
The golden neckbeard said:
Front page was never funny..its updates like once a month now.

Movie reviews were pretty good. Especially the earlier lowtax ones like Troll 2.

Now its all gay shit like "Smash mouth eat the eggs" for example.
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That's because they thought they discovered a formula for humor. You can try to define humor, but it is far from formulaic. The typical goon approach to writing joke articles (or jokes in general) is simply to establish some sort of outlandish idea and then talking as if it's a feasible concept or a normal thing, and repeat it ad nauseum if it isn't funny the first time. "smash mouth eat the eggs" is an example of this, where it's just a failed attempt at non-sequitur humor repeated in a fruitless attempt at garnering a laugh.

Goons understand what anti-humor, but don't understand that you need to have something actually funny to preface anti-humor for it to work. If all you're saying is unfunny nonsense without a real joke to put it into perspective, then you're not doing anti-humor. You're doing unfunny nonsense, and it's very exasperating. Nearly every goon does this because they're inherently lacking any self-awareness, but think that they aren't.
 
The Smash Mouth eat the eggs shot ended up being great because Smash Mouth ended to playing it off pretty much perfectly by making an unfunny weird Twitter faggot show up in person whowh they had a good time with it. The pictures from the event were hysterically on point
 
Commander X said:
"Fortunately" for awhile they had reviews of movies in theaters, as written by Ian "Read My Thesis Masquerading as A Film Review" Maddison and some random other freaks, like these hot takes from 2013. I was inspired to scan the archives after getting into a discussion over what exactly the hell happened to SA and was reminded that these reviews were published.

https://www.somethingawful.com/current-movie-reviews/retrospective-2013-review/6/

To sum up: "White House Down was brave enough to have the smartest character be a precocious 11 year old girl, much like Lost World was brave enough to have a little girl fend off raptors with gymnastics where trained, heavily armed MALE mercenaries failed; only women are victims of violence in horror movies, and only they are killed for having sex. Gravity has been lauded for its compelling script. It was great because it was an extremely relateble situation about floating in orbit starring the most common of everyman: an astronaut-slash-medical technology innovator. Women are also portrayed as victims in movies, but this was totally different because it was about the universal human experience through the eyes of a woman instead of a man! Anyways, thanks to movies like White House Down, the future of cinema is looking bright!"

Maddison really deep in whatever he was deep in here in his review of Despicable Me 2:
https://www.somethingawful.com/current-movie-reviews/lone-ranger-despicable/2/

One of his main premises in his reviews seemed to be that any movie without a gay main character was practically the patriarchy manning the riot hoses.



Also, cartoon violence is unacceptable when used on women which is something Nazis would do. You can just picture the scowl and "like a sack of potatoes!" on the tip of the author's fingers, while making the most moronic point drawing comparisons to Commando and The Simpsons.



And another outburst of rage over not making the protagonist gay; what kind of girls would possibly want a connection with a mother? Ew, yuck!



A lot of reviews were like this, so like other finger-waggling moral crusaders before them, it was no surprise the SA movie critics eventually all disappeared up their own assholes. It lead to a Gone Girl review by some problem glasses chick that was less review and more over-the-top anti-MRA screed, so much that posters on the forums finally asked them to tone it down. The response was for her and Ian Madison to announce they were quitting such a woman hating hostile environment and then there was like one more set of reviews after that before the feature stopped being updated.
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All that and you didn't post the Planes review where they complained about the oversexualization of female planes (???), or the time they claimed the Battleship movie was a poignant criticism of post-9/11 foreign policy?

Cinema Discusso (the movie subforum) is a fucking goldmine of that shit, where they read through Barthes' Death of the Author and completely missed the point of it. Instead of Barthes' actual message about how people can expand on stories long after the original author quit giving a shit bout it (hence, death of the author), they take it to mean that they can make up any fucking halfwit theory about how the film supports Marxism even when the subtext (or even text) directly contradicts it. For example, I've seen goons claim the movie Mouse Hunt, a late 90s family comedy where Nathan Lane and Matthew Broadrick try to kill a mouse, is actually a metaphor for the downfall of the Weimar Republic.
 
The MS Paint ones were pretty good too. Some of the stuff like Golan the Insatiable was fun.

And WTFDND was pretty good, at least to the point I stopped bothering with the place, which was pretty funny if you're into Elfgames, but probably turned into complete SJW shit
ahem I mean ALL THE OTHER STUFF ON THERE WAS FOR PUSSY NERDS WHO CAN'T BENCH 400Lbs AND SO I NEVER READ ANY OF IT.
 
Boss HM-2 said:
All that and you didn't post the Planes review where they complained about the oversexualization of female planes (???), or the time they claimed the Battleship movie was a poignant criticism of post-9/11 foreign policy?

Cinema Discusso (the movie subforum) is a fucking goldmine of that shit, where they read through Barthes' Death of the Author and completely missed the point of it. Instead of Barthes' actual message about how people can expand on stories long after the original author quit giving a shit bout it (hence, death of the author), they take it to mean that they can make up any fucking halfwit theory about how the film supports Marxism even when the subtext (or even text) directly contradicts it. For example, I've seen goons claim the movie Mouse Hunt, a late 90s family comedy where Nathan Lane and Matthew Broadrick try to kill a mouse, is actually a metaphor for the downfall of the Weimar Republic.
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There was one poster, SuperMechaGodzilla, with a long-form troll gimmick of making up outlandish movie interpretations that was so obnoxious his name got verbed as an insult for a while, but then a few dozen other posters started doing it, too. The new people never caught on to the joke and suddenly Cinema Discusso was nothing but post-modernist deconstructionist garbage. The animation thread argues about which Disney movies are Marxist enough.

The Photoshop Phridays were the big thing that drew me in, way back when. This one was one of my favorites: https://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop-phriday/increased-difficulty/1/

They've just had nothing like this for such a long time. It's sad to look back at just how much good stuff there was, for years.
 
Weppers said:
There was one poster, SuperMechaGodzilla, with a long-form troll gimmick of making up outlandish movie interpretations that was so obnoxious his name got verbed as an insult for a while, but then a few dozen other posters started doing it, too. The new people never caught on to the joke and suddenly Cinema Discusso was nothing but post-modernist deconstructionist garbage. The animation thread argues about which Disney movies are Marxist enough.

The Photoshop Phridays were the big thing that drew me in, way back when. This one was one of my favorites: https://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop-phriday/increased-difficulty/1/

They've just had nothing like this for such a long time. It's sad to look back at just how much good stuff there was, for years.
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You can't have fun user generated content when you ban all your fun users and replace them with screeching trannies
 
The rules in the photoshop threads were pretty harsh about "no effortless shit" and that was one of the places where I actually agreed with the rules because it really upped the quality of the photoshops.

The few new photoshop threads I've seen were pitiful. The photoshops were exactly that effortless dumb shit that would have gotten you thrown out of the thread a few years earlier. Then somebody somehow makes an approved-of joke and pulls it off half-decently and then it's just empty quoting and circlejerking until the thread is goldmined. Terrible.
 
AmpleApricots said:
The rules in the photoshop threads were pretty harsh about "no effortless shit" and that was one of the places where I actually agreed with the rules because it really upped the quality of the photoshops.

The few new photoshop threads I've seen were pitiful. The photoshops were exactly that effortless dumb shit that would have gotten you thrown out of the thread a few years earlier. Then somebody somehow makes an approved-of joke and pulls it off half-decently and then it's just empty quoting and circlejerking until the thread is goldmined. Terrible.
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Goonism is a sickness that must be purged
 
TiggerNits said:
The Smash Mouth eat the eggs shot ended up being great because Smash Mouth ended to playing it off pretty much perfectly by making an unfunny weird Twitter faggot show up in person whowh they had a good time with it. The pictures from the event were hysterically on point
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Edit lame..i can't do this on my phone. Somebody post the shark poking docevil gif.

search
 
Harbinger of Kali Yuga said:
Goonism is a sickness that must be purged
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Goons are the new white trash. I don't know if it's the zeitgeist or the paradigm has shifted or what, but it used to be when you'd think of white trash, you'd think of some guy with a greasy mullet and a primer gray Camaro that cooks crank in his attic. Now it's polyamorus / cuckold non binaries who vape and stumped for Bernie. They bitch about the %1 and fight for $15 yet they got five grand worth of ink in each arm and a bedroom full of Funko pops. And the kicker is these people have a college education and a solid middle class / upper middle class background so you can't blame lack of education or generational poverty. So what causes these people? Maybe Alex Jones is right and it's the fluoride in the water or the 120hz refresh rate on their gaming rig is fucking with their brainwaves.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Goons are the new white trash. I don't know if it's the zeitgeist or the paradigm has shifted or what, but it used to be when you'd think of white trash, you'd think of some guy with a greasy mullet and a primer gray Camaro that cooks crank in his attic. Now it's polyamorus / cuckold non binaries who vape and stumped for Bernie. They bitch about the %1 and fight for $15 yet they got five grand worth of ink in each arm and a bedroom full of Funko pops. And the kicker is these people have a college education and a solid middle class / upper middle class background so you can't blame lack of education or generational poverty. So what causes these people? Maybe Alex Jones is right and it's the fluoride in the water or the 120hz refresh rate on their gaming rig is fucking with their brainwaves.
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It's time we took the phrase "comedy gas chamber" to heart
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Goons are the new white trash. I don't know if it's the zeitgeist or the paradigm has shifted or what, but it used to be when you'd think of white trash, you'd think of some guy with a greasy mullet and a primer gray Camaro that cooks crank in his attic. Now it's polyamorus / cuckold non binaries who vape and stumped for Bernie. They bitch about the %1 and fight for $15 yet they got five grand worth of ink in each arm and a bedroom full of Funko pops. And the kicker is these people have a college education and a solid middle class / upper middle class background so you can't blame lack of education or generational poverty. So what causes these people? Maybe Alex Jones is right and it's the fluoride in the water or the 120hz refresh rate on their gaming rig is fucking with their brainwaves.
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White privilege.
I'm only partially joking here but they really are rich white kids with nothing better to do. They got everything handed on a platter and nothing to rebel against so why not rebel against yourself? Oh but not really yourself, specifically those other white people who are totally to blame for generational poverty and everything else going wrong.
Also while you can't blame lack of education you can totally blame education itself given the kind of people in it now.
 
Yeah I'm guessing a majority are 25+. The problem is that goons like kids too much.
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All this happened in the Hansen Vs. Predator thread in GBS. At least they didn't make him a mod I guess.
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Slur Slurry said:
Yeah I'm guessing a majority are 25+. The problem is that goons like kids too much.
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All this happened in the Hansen Vs. Predator thread in GBS. At least they didn't make him a mod I guess.
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"Struggle with desires for underaged guys".
Another example of how gays are being mercilessly oppressed on Something Awful.
 
I remember skimming Dave McGuire's webcomic now and then, but these days he's just another example of how every prominent SA goon that hasn't vanished or what have you is like this

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Goons spent a decade or more having locked themselves in cages of self-aware irony, laughing at 'idiots', repressing natural human desires to enjoy and say and believe unreasonable things but goons bottle up those feelings and then years later they burst and overdo it, turning into the sort of over-the-top nutjobs they used to mock on the forums, and now they are the kind of people who seriously talk about how capitalism drains the mana from their mystical spiritual crystal buttplug or whatevers.
 
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