random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hooked on phobics]

My own employee tried to kill me on Thursday so they could have sex at work and they almost succeeded

 

[Autistic Joe]

You know a thread that derails into pointless bullshit is pretty on point for Kiwi Farms. Maybe we can take a wall of text and make that the mascot.

 

[Sooty Soot]

Kiwi Farms is the Bangladesh of websites.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Here's a little powerlevel:
My head to body ratio is slightly bigger than an average person's. I had scans done and everything and it turns out that I have a big fucking brain, so much so that I need to take painkillers whenever I'm on a plane because it hurts.
I'm like The Leader from Marvel.
While the average dumbass and I can receive the same information, we will understand it differently because of genetics.

I've tried to get a job in the trades because it's good money but I just can't, my brain suffers when I'm not using it to the fullest, so I went into research and that makes me happy.
Now, I get to learn new shit and analyze it for a living, most people would get fucking bored and give up after a week doing that but it comes naturally to me and I do it for half a day every day.
Am I bragging? Maybe a bit but I'm also telling you how things are.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

@Delany's Donkey

I mean, you're the one that seem to think they're pretty important since you spam them constantly on all my posts but don't say anything. How bout you use your big boy words once in a while instead of just being a passive aggressive autist?

Don't worry, this isn't like in real life where you have to worry about freezing up and shit yourself at the thought of having an interaction with another person. This is a safe space.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Welp looks like I clearly triggered some people up the ass lel and before anyone of you in this thread says it's me who got triggered, I like to say no, I'm not triggered.

thanks for continuing to waste my fucking time with this fucking ulcer you dumbfuck cancer cells

Me and my foreskin are friends I’m just more anal

No child, it is you who is gooning. This is why your DMs are already alerted. Enjoy crab shack, stalker.

I have a man with a sniper rifle trained on your nut sack.

Why is the onion farms UI so ass? Can we address this

bro im 3 years old

 

[IamnottheNSA]

Everyone should be distrustful of fat people. They are liars. And it doesn't help that he's a Negro, too.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Even Benjamin Franklin was in favor of banging local milfs.

It's okay to be objectively wrong, I am too on some things.

There's no way this guy was birthed like a regular human. He had to have been expertly engineered in a lolcow factory. There's no other explanation.

"Jokes on you, we're actually entirely aware that we're a bunch of barely-sentient shit-flinging monkeys and we don't intend on ever even trying to improve."

I, personally, am too old to know the answer to this question.

 

[Meat Target]

And I heard, as it were, the noise of the Triangle. One of the four beasts saying "WOAH BUDDY!!!!" And I saw, and behold, a sharted Weekend...

 

[Dr. Butt]

I got an orgy invitation to my work email once. More than once now that I think about it.

Seems like gay camp is just a place where people can have buttsex all day